


Playing With Fire

by ChloeFandomQueen



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Badass Rey, Dark Rey, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Rey Kenobi, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, The Force Ships It, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 132,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7988620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeFandomQueen/pseuds/ChloeFandomQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It has been six months since Starkiller Base. Rey is still training with Luke, and she loves it immensely. Considering, everything is perfect, apart from one thing. She can’t get Kylo Ren out of her head. He appears in her dreams, and sometimes she swears she can hear his voice in her head. </p><p>As it turns out, they share a Force bond and to her reluctance, Rey has vowed to return Kylo to his family. Only things in this galaxy never go quite the way things are planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Almost Unreal

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my attempt at joining the fabulous Reylo writers I have been reading. 
> 
> I would like to put out a couple of disclaimers here. There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Fire melted into ashes on the horizon. The dark ocean bled into the sky, dyeing it an enchanting shade of blue. Rey sat watching the sunset, just like every night. It wasn’t something she got to experience on Jakku. It had been too hot to really enjoy anything, and even though the bringing of night took the edge off, it never looked like this. As the cool sea air washed over her, she closed her eyes and smiled. At times, it was a little too cold for what she was used to. Luke had looked at her incredulously when she had sat wrapped in a blanket during spring. Now, in the height of summer, it was pleasant. She had despised summer on Jakku. It was so blistering that she could hardly breathe. Her mind wandered to what summer nights would be like on Takodana. She may have only been there once, and just for a few hours, but it was by far her favourite climate.

Rey bristled as she remembered another weather she had discovered not so long ago. She had only ever imagined snow. Cold, white and unforgiving. So beautiful. A shiver ran up her spine now whenever she imagined the kiss of frost against her skin. Because every time she did a figure cloaked all in black appeared in front of her. The worst part was that she couldn’t decide whether that shiver was from fear or anticipation. 

Shaking the thought away, she languidly moved her wrist, channelling the energy inside her. Three stones resting beside her rose into the air and came to rest in her eye line. Their smooth surfaces reflected the dying sunlight, making them shine like jewels. The way they leisurely spun in the air, mirroring the way her index finger swirled, was almost hypnotic. This was almost all she could do when it came to telekinesis. She was much more potent in mind tricks and telepathy. 

The stones suddenly dropped when she heard movement behind her. Rey whipped around to face the intruder, hand already grasping for her staff. The intruder held up his hands, one normal pink flesh and the other a shining metal. She sighed. Her shoulders slumped in relief as her master came to stand beside her. 

“You’re still so jumpy.” Luke said matter-of-factly. 

“Scavenger trait.” 

Although they had known each other for just under six months now, she and Luke barely said a few words to each other at a time outside of training. She had never been in the company of another person for so long that mostly she didn’t know what to say. He still didn’t completely trust himself after what had happened at the Academy. That was the only subject they had ever broached in detail and even then his words had been clipped with regret. 

Rey knew enough to understand how he felt. Ben Solo, Luke’s nephew and best student, had arrived when he was young. Too young, perhaps. Luke had trained the boy well, but had taught him to control his emotions. That had been something that Ben struggled with, repressing his emotions so he often lashed out at his other students. Luke sensed darkness in him and was afraid, so he decided to train Ben separately. But that had only led to his wayward journey to Snoke’s side. Luke blamed himself for his nephew’s conversion, and in turn for the death of his beloved friend Han Solo. 

They stood together watching the sun say its final goodbye until morning before descending from the cliff side to the vast array of huts dotted along the island. Luke said a quick goodnight to her before ducking inside the largest hut, almost at the very top of the hill. Rey returned the gesture before carrying on down the many steep steps. She would have chosen a hut close to her master’s, except all that was left of them were small piles of rubble. A great amount of the huts were in disarray, the ceilings falling in or there being very little wall left. Her hut was about halfway down. It wasn’t large and it stood alone on a little overhang of the cliff. 

Despite its lack of space, there was something quite homely about it. On Jakku, the makeshift home in her old AT-AT was cramped, with little room to move. It was why she often ate outside. It had been so far out in the desert that no-one disturbed her. This hut was just the same and though it had its similarities to her former scorching prison of a planet, she loved how she didn’t feel alien in it, like she had everywhere since she left Jakku. Sometimes, she wanted to go back to that junkyard to pack her belongings. It felt like a waste to leave everything she had collected over the years to rot. Especially her treasured X-Wing Pilot’s helmet. 

Resting her staff by the door, she stripped down to her night-dress and crawled into the small cot. It was comfortable, despite its haggard appearance. She had closed the hanging over her door but left the window free to let the cool air brush over her skin. It wasn’t long before she drifted into a soundless sleep.

**

_The forest started to thin as Rey ran through it. It was refreshing to be able to get exercise for the fun of it, rather than necessity. The trees were tall and towering, their dazzling green leaves creating thick shafts of sunlight to burst onto the forest floor. It was warm on Rey’s skin, but not unbearably so. Takodana, she thought, recognising the place. She smiled fondly as her legs came to a halt in a clearing._

_Catching her breath, she stood in the sunlight, soaking it in. He was watching her, though she couldn’t see him. It was fascinating, to see her enjoy the light so much. He couldn’t quite understand it; he had thought she would hate the sun, coming from Jakku. He wasn’t fond of intense sunlight himself, but the kind of warmth he felt when he saw her smile was unparalleled. It disturbed him greatly when it flooded his chest._

_Rey twirled in the clearing, darting in and out of the shafts of light. She had never really known how to dance but she supposed this would be what it would look like. Her footsteps took her across the clearing quickly, carrying her towards what sat in the shadows watching her with a smirk._

_He stood slowly. He wanted to move towards her, take her in his arms and dance with her until moonlight. Anxiety stopped him in his tracks, pounding in his heart and drying up his throat. She was coming closer. What would he do if she caught him?_

_That was when her eyes darted into the forest, locking on his exact spot. She came to an abrupt standstill, surprise coating her soft features. To his disbelief, there was no fear in her eyes, no hate in the way her mouth quirked up at the corners. Her feet moved towards him._

_Rey couldn’t believe what she was doing. She was moving without thought towards the shadow. The man who had attacked her, hurt her friend, killed the only man she could have ever considered family. His own father. And now the man who had watched her dancing, like predator stalking prey. But her feet kept going._

_She wondered what he was doing there. In her dream. From what she remembered, he kept turning up. Every dream she had he would be there. It unnerved her. It wasn’t like she spent all her waking hours thinking about him. Yet there he was. Each dream got more vivid. He would get closer and more prominent. And every time she would move towards him, without telling herself to. It was like there was a magnetic pull between her body and his. She may have been scared that he was there, but she was more terrified that she didn’t even mind._

_The two met in the middle, at the threshold between the light of the clearing and the darkness of the forest. Neither said anything. They didn’t have to. Their hearts beat in time with each other; their thoughts melded together, as if they were two halves becoming a whole._

_Rey stared at him. He stared at her._

_With every second, they were getting closer. Levitating towards each other like a moon orbiting its planet. Tentatively, their fingers met between them. Her soft skin touching the harsh calluses on his hands, uncovered for once. When she touched him, she felt a calm wash over her. His deep obsidian eyes bore into her. They were gentle, making her melt into his gaze. She felt herself moving closer still, though there was not much room left. Any closer and they would be…_

_The dream faded away._

**

Rey woke with a start. Her breathing was ragged as she tried to draw in enough air. By the Maker, what the hell was that? 

The blankets on her bed suddenly became a suffocating mass of cloth. She threw them off and ran outside. The cold air assaulted her, knocking the breath out of her again. She kept running without direction. Running until her legs couldn’t take it anymore. Her knees buckled beneath her and she collided with the ground. 

Her lungs burned. Her eyes watered with the harsh wind. She couldn’t comprehend what she had been doing. What she had wanted. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to block out the images. There was something wrong with her. There had to be. She shouldn’t be dreaming about him. Not about her worst enemy. She hated him. Hated. At least she thought she did. So why did she feel lost without that connection? 

Her whole body was still shaking by the time Luke emerged at daybreak. Rey sat on the cliff side, her knees pulled up against her chest, shivering. Luke approached her quietly and wrapped his thick brown robe around her shoulders. Anyone else would have assumed she was just cold, but the Jedi Master knew better. 

He didn’t stay. For a few moments, he stood stoic beside her, apparently waiting for her to explain. She kept her mouth firmly shut. Out of everyone she knew, Rey trusted Luke the most, even more than Finn. But it wasn’t something she could share with the old man. She could barely put it into words. So he trudged away, going to find breakfast. 

The sun had already travelled a great portion of the sky by the time Rey got up. She had missed breakfast and her stomach was grumbling. Luke had started a fire that was now dying away as the embers fizzled away. Damn, she thought, even though she was used to eating very little. Ever since she had come to Ahch-To, she had eaten far better than she ever had on Jakku. 

Her disappointment melted away when she saw Luke had left some cold eggs for her. Smiling, she sat beside what little warmth the fire still offered and dug in. The eggs weren’t as delicious as the food on Takodana that Maz had given her. That had been rich in both flavour and moisture. It had been the first time she had ever tasted fruit. She vowed that she would taste it again in her lifetime. 

The discomfort in her gut eased as she ate, but it opened her up to another agony. Pain lanced through her head, causing her to drop the remaining eggs into the fire. She cursed herself but didn’t have time to think on it. It shot through her head again and she screamed. It kept getting worse and worse. She felt a hot, metallic liquid running into her mouth. Tears seared down her cheeks as she tried desperately to shove it out. Screaming again, she fell to her knees. The skin there was already sore and the impact shredded the skin. It hardly compared to the searing pain in her mind, like something was mauling at her insides. 

_‘Get out of my head!’_

A wave of something like the slamming of a door rippled through her and the pain stopped. It just disappeared. Opening her eyes, Rey stood on shaky legs to see Luke rushing towards her. She reached up and wiped the blood from her nose before he could see. 

“Are you alright, Rey?” He asked, voice coming in short breaths. He had been in the temple, she realised, and had ran straight here. It moved her that he would abandon his meditation for her. “I heard you screaming. I came straight away.” 

Luke was wide-eyed, gaze darting about like he was expecting an assailant to jump out of the shadows. She laid a hand on his arm and said, “Yes, I’m fine. I just had the strangest feeling.” 

His shoulders sagged in relief but he still looked weary. Taking her hand, he pulled her down to the log seats he had fashioned around the fire. “What do you mean ‘strange feeling’”? 

Rey took a deep breath. “I was just eating. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. And this awful pain went through my head. It was like there was someone in there, tearing it apart. It hurt so much and it kept getting worse.” 

Luke looked pensive. His usually faraway gaze was even further afield. She couldn’t decide whether he didn’t want to tell her or if he really didn’t know, which one scared her more. Eventually he turned to her and sighed, patting her hand. The metal of his was cold to the touch. It was like being comforted by a droid. Her heart dropped a little, missing her orange-and-white friend. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Rey.” Luke said softly. “It could be many things. Some of which aren’t worth mentioning, but I think the most likely is a dark side user is trying to get into your head.” 

The Jedi Master didn’t have to specify what dark side user. She already knew who he meant: Snoke. A terrifying chill settled over her. But that didn’t explain the voice. A voice she knew all too well. If he had been trying to get into her head, she would have been able to shove him out, like last time. It hadn’t been him, she was sure, but it had been his deep, commanding voice that had yelled at her to get out. And why would he have made such a request if he wanted to get into her head? 

Luke was still speaking when she returned to the present. “Do you remember what I taught you? About controlling your thoughts?” She nodded. “You have to push up the barriers around your mind, no matter how hard they try to get through. If they do, you have to hide what you don’t want them to see.” 

“I don’t think he saw anything.” She whispered. 

Luke slowly nodded. “Are you going to be okay? I must return to my meditation before we start training for today. You should prepare too.” 

Rey nodded a silent agreement. He couldn’t stay with her for long in the morning, she knew that, but she wished he would. She unwound his cloak from around her shoulders and handed it to him. Luke squeezed her hand one last time before departing. 

Sighing, she started to clear up her dropped food. The menial work almost took her mind off the man who seemed to clog up her thoughts. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's my first chapter.  
> I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave comments and kudos, all are very welcome and I hope to get back to you as soon as I can.  
> I will post the next chapter soon!


	2. One Step Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, here's a bit of Kylo POV. I promise the plot will get going properly soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fastest I'm probably going to update. I hope to post new chapters every few days, but I've just started college so it might take a bit longer. Please don't hate me!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

“Kylo Ren.” The Supreme Leader’s voice boomed through the conference room. It sent chills down Kylo Ren’s spine, like it did every time. His master’s face was contorted in frustration. This was not going to be good. “What have you found?” 

Snoke had challenged Kylo to find the scavenger girl, who they both knew was training with his old master Luke Skywalker, through his Force bond with her. The Supreme Leader had explained to him that a Force bond was a connection forged in a moment of great emotional distress between two Force-sensitives of great – and equal – power. Kylo figured that it had formed when they had waged war inside each other’s heads. It was the only explanation as to why she had been able to challenge him during their battle on Starkiller Base. It still unnerved him that her handling of his grandfather’s lightsaber was extraordinarily similar to his own. 

The Supreme Leader had not been happy to learn the untrained scavenger had bested him in battle. Kylo had been unprepared for her incredible Force abilities, that was why he had lost. That and the indisputable fact that he had been seriously injured. Snoke seemed to think that he had in fact lost because he held compassion for the girl. Kylo refused to accept this, and yet a part of him feared his master was correct. Whether it be for finally finding an equal, for finally finding someone who might understand his turmoil, or whether it be for reasons he daren’t acknowledge, he didn’t know. 

The Supreme Leader had tortured him for it, killing him slowly with agonising amounts of pain while he continued his training. He had endured it all, hopeful it would help him shut out his guilt and remorse. In some part, it had. He had hardened and become stronger in his dark side powers. But it had made a chunk of him hate his master, fear him more than he ever did. The only consolation he had was that Snoke would not end his life for risk of losing his connection to Skywalker and his Padawan. 

Through the mechanical rasp of the mask distorting his voice, he replied coolly “The girl is extremely talented in shielding her thoughts, master. I have not yet been able to locate her. However, I do know that she is becoming stronger with the Force. Skywalker is teaching her at an alarmingly slow rate, but should she be willing to learn your ways, she would be an invaluable ally.” 

“I already know that, Ren. One day, I sense, she will be even stronger than you. You should pray that day does not come soon.” Snoke growled. Kylo Ren swallowed back his anger; he knew what his master meant. At this point in time, the Supreme Leader would be more than willing to replace his apprentice. 

Snoke held out a hand, gently flicking his wrist. Pain bolted through Kylo’s head. He winced, shaking on weak knees. He still hadn’t recovered completely from Snoke’s relentless onslaughts of the last six months. Steeling himself for the hot waves of agony, Kylo shielded his thoughts, bolting the door to his past. It was the only part of his mind he hid from his master, though Snoke knew it all. Despite his faults, Snoke was courteous enough not to look. 

In the final moments before he fell to his knees as Snoke invaded his head, Kylo remembered to close the door on his conflicting emotions about the scavenger. And about his father. 

The Supreme Leader combed through his mind, tearing apart every memory he had of the girl. The dream he had the previous night seemed of particular interest to him. He could hear his master chuckling darkly at the way he had looked at the girl… Kylo screamed somewhere outside his consciousness as Snoke tortured him for it. 

Kylo couldn’t understand why he was having such dreams. They happened more and more frequently with every passing week. Each time they grew stronger, like the Force was sending them to him, practically shoving them down his throat. He knew that she was experiencing them too, hating him and herself more and more with each one. He could feel her now, shivering from the experience. 

The Supreme Leader flicked his wrist again, making Kylo’s agony refresh. “You can feel her. She’s there.” Snoke pushed further. 

Soon his screaming was matched by another voice. A girl’s voice. Her crying harmonised with his. Snoke smirked at her sudden solid presence, plunging through Kylo into her. _‘No.’_ Kylo yelled. _‘No!’_ He wasn’t sure why he was protecting the girl. Maybe it was the way her heart screamed for it to stop, perfectly matching his own. 

_‘Get out of my head!’_

And with that, he shut her out. Completely. He had never been able to do that before. She had remained a constant existence in the back of his head, even when she hadn’t really been there. But now she was completely gone. 

Snoke let him go after that. Kylo was on his hands and knees. There was a puddle of blood on the floor beneath him. It glinted crimson in the harsh light. Coughing, Kylo spat more onto the floor and gritted his teeth. He glared up at his master, barely able to conceal his anger. 

The Supreme Leader took no notice of his apprentice’s scathing eyes. Instead, he just waited with endless frustrating patience for Kylo to rise and compose himself. With the leather-bound back of his hand, he swiped away the blood from his lips and straightened. He wouldn’t be intimidated by his master. The more strength he showed, the longer he might survive. 

“The girl is on Ahch-To.” Snoke deadpanned, as if it had been obvious the entire time. Kylo had never heard of this planet, let alone where it might be. Sensing his incredulity, Snoke continued, “It is a planet in one of the systems on the very outer rim of the galaxy. I will inform General Hux, and plans will be made immediately.” 

“You are not sending me, master?” 

“No-one is going yet. We don’t have enough information and we don’t want a repeat of last time, do we Kylo Ren?” Snoke drawled out his name so long that it made the hairs on the back of Kylo’s neck stand on end. It was a surprise that Snoke would not order an invasion immediately. There was a cynical part of him that suspected the Supreme Leader was lying to him, but that was preposterous. He wouldn’t have been able to question his master without risk of severe punishment in any case. 

“No, master.” He conceded.

**

This was possibly the only thing he enjoyed about living on The Finalizer. 

Kylo Ren stood stoic, arms crossed over his chest, staring out the floor-to-ceiling window in his quarters. It was almost pitch black out there, as it always was. Space never changed. It was his constant in a life of chaos. But every now and then a new star would burst into life, joining its companions on the canvas of darkness. The view, his uncle had once told him, greatly resembled himself: a blanket of shadow smothering all life inside, apart from the pinpricks of light still tethering him to his conscience. They refused to fade away and even grew brighter when he turned away from them. 

He growled at the idea and turned his back to the sky. His uncle was a fool. They all were for believing he was anything but what he was. 

He was faced by his pathetic excuse for a living space. Regarding size, it was actually quite large. It was big enough for his four-poster bed to sit comfortably between the window and his desk. From where his bed was, two steps down led to a reasonable living area, with two settees and a kitchenette. Off to the side was the refresher that was almost too big. Despite the extensive commodities awarded to him, it was incredibly sparse. There were no indications that it had even been lived in, though he had been there for about two months. 

Kylo stood there for a few moments, shifting from foot to foot. He wasn’t entirely sure what to do. His body clock still hadn’t synchronised with everyone else’s on the ship. So while the rest of the ship slept, he was wide awake. Sighing, he slipped off his robes, exposing his bare skin to the cold air in the room. He flopped back onto the bed in just a pair of black trousers and stared up at the ceiling. 

To his surprise, the first thought that came to him was that of the previous night’s dream. At least he could recollect it in peace. He didn’t remember much of it, only that she was there, shining bright as the stars he saw from his window, dancing to her own melody. His lips quirked up at the memory of her laying eyes on him, sparkling with Maker-knows-what. He barely knew the girl, and yet he took a pleasure in the knowledge that she hated him. 

Sure enough his recollections led to his mind reaching out to her through the bond. He managed to remain lingering in the back of her head. She was training. Alone. He frowned. Where was Skywalker? Shouldn’t he have been with her? 

The way she twirled her staff in her hands was almost hypnotic. It was as if it weren’t a weapon at all, but an extension of her body. He wondered if she would feel more comfortable with a double-edged lightsaber instead of a regular one, so she could wield it like her staff. He smirked at the idea of duelling her with that level of weapon. 

Kylo watched as she practiced stances. Each one she did made her muscles go taut, her face settling into that caged ferocity. He might have called her beautiful if he didn’t know better. She was near perfect, until she started lashing out into mid-air. 

_‘Ah, so you’re not a master combatant.’_

She froze. He felt her fear seeping in through the bond. It was as if her blood had turned to ice. Through her eyes, he looked around for the assailant threatening her. Until he realised the assailant was him. She could hear him. 

_‘I can… I can hear you.’_

_‘And I can hear you.’_

Both of them were so shocked that they couldn’t move their bodies for a moment. Kylo had believed the bond was just the ability to experience each other’s worlds. He hadn’t realised they could actually communicate. She had thought his words in her head were just a memory, like her voice crying out to end the pain but distorted into his deep tone. 

_‘What are you doing here?’_ She growled. 

For a moment, he was speechless. What could he say to her? His sworn enemy. And yet someone he felt more connected to than his own family. She was waiting for an answer, he realised, so he quickly said, _‘Watching you train.’_

Feelings of disgust flooded through. _‘Is my forbidden training fascinating to you?’_

_‘Very.’_ Then he realised what she had said. _‘Why is it forbidden?’_

_‘Master Luke doesn’t want me to learn combat. He says it isn’t the Jedi way.’_

He cringed at his uncle’s name. _‘So why are you learning it?’_

_‘So that when I face you again, I can kick your arse.’_

_‘You already did that.’_

She chuckled darkly. _‘I guess I did.’_

Kylo went silent for a moment. She was learning combat. Against her master’s wishes. There was more of the darkness in her than he had first suspected. That single possibility filled him with smugger glee than any of his winnings against the irritating Hux had done. 

_‘Are you just going to stay there?’_

_‘I’ll go if you want me to. But I thought you should know that lashing out with just one end of your staff is not the best way to disable your opponent.’_ Why was he telling her this? 

_‘And what is? Your little pirouettes?’_ Her voice dripped with sarcasm. 

_‘Hilarious.’_ He said through gritted teeth. _‘Try to fight with both ends of your weapon.’_

To his surprise, she tentatively followed his advice. Placing her left hand further down her staff, she swung her staff one way and then twisted around to land a blow with the other end. Eventually she was moving with mesmerising fluidity. Round and round she went taking down imaginary opponents. She was unstoppable. 

To mask his awe, Kylo muttered, _‘You twirl too.’_

She sent him the bond equivalent of a middle finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short I know, but I hope you enjoyed it. From here on out, the chapters are going to be about twice the length. So please bear with me.  
> All kudos and comments are very welcome. I might even update sooner with them (I'm kidding... partially).


	3. Guilty All The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Rey POV again. Here's where the plot really gets going. Let the action and Reylo progression ensue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to update so quickly, but this chapter was already ready. It's a lot longer than the previous two and the rest are probably going to be of similar length, so please bear with me.
> 
> I'm so grateful to everyone who has taken time to read this. It's a great honour to be receiving your kudos and comments. Thank you so much. Hope you enjoy the chapter 3!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Luke had been hiding away in the temple for days. He hadn’t even come out to eat. Rey imagined he was hungry enough to eat his own arm by now. 

After she had been attacked by Snoke, he had disappeared into the temple and apparently forgotten to come out for training. By the end of the second day, she had started to worry and had tried to enter the temple. A strange force prevented her from entering, pushing her back from the cracked stairway. She wondered if Luke was keeping her out for some reason. Now, as the sun set on the fourth day of his absence, she had given up worrying. 

Rey still didn’t fully understand what had happened those four days prior. When he had snuck into her mind to criticise her, she had considered asking him about it. But based on his previous response, she doubted she would be able to get much out of him. 

It had been the strangest feeling having him there. She supposed she had always felt his presence, but had always assumed it was her hatred for him ever looming in the back of her mind. Despite her shock at being able to actually hear him, she had not been unhappy about his interruption. They had actually been able to have perhaps not a civilised conversation, but they had been able to _joke_ with each other. Something she had never considered they would be able to do. 

She couldn’t feel him now. That thought made her throat dry. Rey furiously shook the feeling away. 

She just needed sleep. That was all it was. She had been awake for at least twenty-four hours now. Ever since her disturbing dream, she had been desperately avoiding sleeping too deeply. The last thing she wanted was to get sucked into a place where she couldn’t control her own actions. 

Ducking into her hut, Rey was almost swaying with exhaustion. She crawled into bed and wrapped the covers around her shivering body; it was uncharacteristically cold tonight. Within moments, it seemed, she was asleep.

**

Luke emerged from the Temple on that fourth night. He climbed the steps slowly out to the entrance. His fitness was not like it used to be. Thirty years ago he would have run up these stairs once, twice, three times over. Now he could barely haul himself up them. 

When he stepped out of the doorway, he heaved a sigh of relief and stretched his back. Turning, he concealed the door from sight. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Rey, and he was fairly sure she knew where the entrance was already, but she wasn’t ready to see all that it had to offer. 

Rain pounded the earth outside. The dark clouds overhead and the relentless sheets of water obscured any view they might have had from the island. The ground was sludgy as the water churned up the mud. It wasn’t long before Luke was soaked through and slathered in mud up to his ankles. 

It had to have been the middle of the night since it seemed Rey had already retired for the evening. Luke felt protective of the girl, despite having been reluctant to take her on when she first arrived on Ahch-To. He descended the steps to her little, lonely hut to check on her. The rain was pouring in through the poor excuses for windows and through the door, over which she had forgotten to let down the flap. She lay soaking and shivering in the cold while she slept restlessly. Every moment or two her eyelids would twitch or she would roll over, kicking against the sheets like they were strangling her. 

Something jolted in Luke, a sudden feeling of sympathy, a desire to keep her safe and warm. He carefully stepped into her hut, quiet enough not to wake her, and tiptoed around the various tools that lay strewn across her floor. She liked to fix things, he knew. He had often come across her tinkering with parts from the _Falcon_ when it visited every month, or on his battered old X-Wing that lay covered in a sheet in the shelter of an alcove across the island. 

In the small fire pit, he sparked a flame onto the logs so that at least she wouldn’t be shivering as badly. As it built, he noticed her settling a bit more. Then he found the old wooden board he used in his hut to block the rain from coming the window. When he finally left her be, he closed the door flap. 

Luke was exhausted himself. He had been awake almost continuously for the past few days, but he could not sleep. The Temple was said to be the place where the Force was at its strongest. Sat in its depths he had tried to connect himself with it deeper than ever before to perhaps see what Snoke was up to. 

Luke knew Rey was lying when she said she was okay. He could see the pain marring her usually soft features. It wasn’t difficult to guess that Snoke was trying to find them, but there was something more. He could sense that Rey was scared of the dark side, of everything it represented, and of the possibility of it appearing in her. She was extremely powerful for someone so young and he desperately wanted to know why. Luke had no doubt that Snoke had sensed her power, that his nephew had also. His nephew would see her as a threat to his position with Snoke. Either that or he would perceive her to be the only one worthy of standing by his side in the darkness. Luke could not have that boy taking away the greatest hope the light ever had. 

He knew he shouldn’t assume so much from his nephew. He was his nephew after all. And Leia still saw so much light in him despite everything he had done. But it was hard to condone his actions for some minute hope, hard to expect anything but the worst. Most of the Resistance, including Rey’s young friends, saw his nephew as one so completely devoid of compassion that he wasn’t worth saving. Rey, however, he wasn’t so sure. When they had first met, it was evident that she didn’t like him. Whenever she spoke his name, which was often when she would tell Luke how much she wanted to show him up, her lips would curl up into a sneer. Now she just avoided talking about him. Luke often saw her gazing off into the distance, like her head was somewhere else. 

Luke was interrupted by the loud whoosh of engines coming from the distance. Through the rain, bright lights could be seen scanning the terrain, heading towards them fast from the east. They were enough to blind the old man for a second. 

In a normal situation, anyone would have waited to see who it was before scampering off. But Luke had no reason to wait. The only ship that ever came to visit them on this backwater world was the _Millennium Falcon_ , which was currently docked at the base of the island. Whoever this was wasn’t a friendly visitor. 

Luke ran with surprising speed for his age down the steps, straight to Rey’s hut. Apparently the girl had heard the engines too because she was already up, staff in hand and scowl in place. “Master Luke!” She yelled when she saw him coming. She was already sprinting down the rest of the steps by the time he reached her. 

“It’s the First Order.” He said breathlessly. She glanced over her shoulder in horror. “We have to get to the _Falcon now_!” 

Rey needed no encouragement.

**

Rey had heard the engines before her master did. The rumble of them shook her to her core as she remembered hearing the same craft on Takodana months before. She had jumped out of bed, not without noticing the small fire Luke had crafted for her. She allowed herself a little smile before grabbing her staff and strapping her pack around her waist. 

Racing out the door, she met the still pounding rain with a startled gasp. _Kriff, it’s cold_. Wiping the water from her eyes, she ran down the small hill that lead to her lonely little hut. A few steps up stood Luke, who though a little slower than her own reaction times turned and fled down the steps in her direction. Sprinting to meet him, she cried “Master Luke!” Whether it was to make her presence known or just a simple cry of concern, she didn’t know. 

He barely looked up as he reached her. “It’s the First Order.” Rey almost wanted to laugh at that statement. Of course it was; who else would they be running from? “We need to get to the _Falcon now_!” 

Together they raced down the steps. Over the last six months, Rey had run up and down these steps so many times that she had never been more physically fit. It felt like just another leisurely walk. But now her thighs were burning and her lungs were aching for breath. For as long as she could remember, she had never run so fast. Not even from the thugs who terrorised her for her hard-earned portions. 

When the _Falcon_ was in sight, she slowed up a bit, suddenly remembering what the presence of the First Order must mean. She reached deep into her mind, looking for any sign of his presence but found nothing. If he were there, surely he would want her to know he was there? Surely he would want to be able to find her easily? 

Glancing over her shoulder, she heard the tell-tale stomp of Stormtrooper boots before the fire from their blasters came raining down on their heads. Rey ducked away from the falling debris of whatever huts were unfortunate enough to have been hit. She and Luke increased their pace, skidding around a corner down the steep incline that would either lead to their freedom or seal their deadly fates. 

When a blaster bolt came far too close for comfort, splintering the rock not two feet above their heads, Rey almost whirled. One hand gripped her staff while the other was already halfway into her pack. Though before she could get any further, Luke gripped her wrist and dragged her along behind him. He was muttering something under his breath; something that sounded very much like “She never listens. I tell her not to fight, and that’s all she wants to do. What is it with my students?” 

Rey couldn’t help the smirk on her face at her master’s frustrations. It wasn’t hard to guess who else he could have meant. It gave her some pleasure to learn that his nephew hadn’t wanted to be a pacifist in his youth, he had been just like any other teenager. There was something strangely _human_ about that, which wasn’t a word Rey would have related to him before. Not that he was a pacifist now of course. 

By the time they reached it, the _Falcon_ had already flared to life. R2-D2 beeped a greeting when Rey boarded, giving her master specific attention. It always made her smile how strong a bond the old man and the droid had. It reminded her of Poe and BB-8, or even herself and the little spherical machine. 

Chewie was already in the cockpit pushing buttons. Rey threw down her staff and clambered into the co-pilot’s seat. “Let’s go!” The Wookiee growled in response. 

_The Millennium Falcon_ didn’t take much coaxing to hit light speed almost as soon as they were off the ground. The freighter reared up, swerving to avoid some well-placed blasts from below. _If only Finn were here_ , she thought. At least she knew her best friend would be able to take out of few of their ships. Then she realised she might as well give it a go herself. 

Jumping up, Rey raced for the gunner position. Luke gave her a disapproving look as she passed but she paid it no mind. Strapping herself in, she noticed that Chewie had done an excellent job in repairing what they had managed to break escaping from Jakku. It would take her forever to sit and fully familiarise herself with the controls; time they didn’t have. Instead, she took the controls in hand and angled them as close to the troopers’ ships as she could manage before taking wild shots at them. 

From the cockpit, Chewie was growling at her, telling her he was manoeuvring the ship enough so she could hit her targets easier. He pulled the ship over on its head so she had a perfect shot at the edge of the island where the transporters had docked. She pulled the trigger a few times, hitting random points around the ships until one blast finally hit her target. The transporter exploded in a flurry of fire and metal. Several Stormtroopers were thrown backwards in the blast, making Rey’s scavenger side chuckle. _That’s what you get for trying to take what’s mine_. 

The ground fire increased. Though the _Falcon’s_ shields were up, they took a few big hits. That was when Chewie decided it was enough and pulled upwards until the freighter reached the atmosphere where it promptly made the jump. 

Rey made no mistake in thinking that the First Order ships would try to follow them. Fortunately, in their current state, it was unlikely it would be any time soon. But making it to D’Qar as soon as possible was of the upmost importance. 

Abandoning the gunner’s position and leaving Chewie to pilot, Rey grabbed her staff from the floor and hit it viciously against the door frame. Luke glanced up with one eyebrow raised. “How the kriff did they find us?” She growled. 

“It was bound to happen eventually. It was just a matter of time.” Luke reasoned. 

Rey wasn’t going to accept logic at this point. “No. No, they haven’t been able to find you for years and all of sudden now they do? No…” Sudden realisation washed over her. _Him_. He did this. He told them where she was. She wanted to scream. “I’m going to kill him!” 

Luke looked up at her in confusion. But she didn’t hear his questions. She was too busy yelling at the deafening silence in her head. _How could you, you son of a bitch? I knew it! I knew I never should have let you in my head. I should have shut you out the moment you barged in! To think I actually started to see you as a human being; you’re just a monster._

When her mental voice’s throat went dry, she let her forehead rest against the cold metal of the ship’s walls. Only then did her master get through to her. “Rey?” She looked up to see Luke stood stoic watching her with both fear and concern. “Are you okay?” 

She chuckled at that. Of course she wasn’t okay. 

When she didn’t reply, Luke continued “What do you mean you’re ‘going to kill him’? Who is ‘him’ exactly?” 

Rey saw no reason in being gentle about it. “Your nephew. _Kylo Ren_.” She spat. 

Luke was taken aback. “What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying that he looked into my head and saw where we were. Then he told his master. You know, the one he’s always so pathetically desperate to please.” Rey sneered, bashing her staff against the wall again. To her own surprise, it wasn’t the fact that the First Order had found them that was upsetting her. That would have happened even without the connection she shared with him. Luke was right about that. It was that she had genuinely felt there was a shred of, perhaps not good, but decency left in him. In the end though, she supposed, you chose your side regardless. 

Her master was watching her intensely. His blue eyes shone with fear and something like… regret? “Oh Rey, I’m so sorry.” 

Something occurred to Rey then. “Do you know what this is? Why he can see into my head?” She was desperate to know, but so terrified to hear the answer. Perhaps if she knew, however, she could find a way to block him out forever. 

Luke nodded gravely. “It’s called a Force bond. I don’t know much about them, only that they are formed between two powerful Force users in times of emotional distress. From what I know, they are formed when two users share somewhat of an emotional connection beforehand, however raw and undeveloped that connection may be, and one reaches out to the other in such a time that the two individual wavelengths of the Force meld together to form one much stronger one. They are extremely rare.” 

Rey’s breath was nearly knocked from her lungs. Her knees buckled and she collapsed onto the sofa. A Force bond. Emotional connection… Extremely rare? Obviously. It could only have happened to them. Of all the people she could have shared such a connection with, it just _had_ to be him. 

Rey was having a hard time believing what she was hearing. Her memories evaded her when she tried to recall when such a bond may have formed. She couldn’t quite process that she and Kylo had an ‘emotional connection’. The only emotion she felt towards him right now was derision. 

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Rey.” She looked up to see her master moving towards her. Was he _pleading_ with her? Where she had expected to see horror and disdain, she saw mixed in with the fear a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “With such a connection, great things can be achieved. Perhaps you can…” 

She fixed him with a stare. A stare she only reserved for those who were about to cross the line and be on the receiving end of her staff. Luke almost stepped back at the intensity of it. “Bring him back to the light?” Her master looked down. “That’s what you were about to say, wasn’t it? That I can bring him back with this… Force bond. Why should I? He doesn’t deserve to be brought back! Not after everything he’s done.” Memories flashed through Rey’s mind. The hiss of a lightsaber singeing flesh. The darkness and rage on the murderer’s face. The pain and guilt in the victim’s eyes. 

Tears streamed down Rey’s cheeks. Her heart was contracting so much it was agonising, like it was breaking. Han Solo had been like the father she never had, despite how little time she had known him. He had been everything she imagined a father should be. He had been a father to that man who had _murdered_ him. So why couldn’t Rey shake the feeling that her memories were lying to her? 

“I agree.” Her head snapped up in surprise. Luke was slumped in a chair across the lounge, R2-D2 sat faithfully next to him. The droid seemed about as sad as a droid could. It was then that Rey realised R2 would have known Kylo when he was a young Padawan. She wondered how many adventures he and the mischievous little droid had shared. She couldn’t imagine him that way: young, fresh-faced and full of wonder. 

“What do you mean?” She whispered. She had thought, though perhaps not as strongly, that Luke had wished for his nephew’s return as much as Leia did. 

“My nephew does not deserve to return to the light side. At least in the state he is in. I cannot forgive him for what he did and I doubt I ever will. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish for him to return to his family. You think he told the First Order where we were. I think it’s more likely that’s what Snoke was doing in your head the other day. He must have used my nephew’s bond with you to invade your mind. A Force bond does not allow for one party to harm the other mentally.” 

Luke paused for a moment, allowing her to take it in. As much as she hated to admit it, she thought her master could have been right. It didn’t make sense to be able to hurt someone if you were irrevocably bound to them. It would also explain his request. _His request… He was trying to protect you_. She took a deep, shaking breath, willing her inner voice to shut the hell up. 

“You should have seen Leia when she lost him to the dark side. You have experienced her grief over Han’s death, how she has those moments when she loses herself to that endless pit of despair. Can you imagine that increased ten-fold?” Rey shook her head. “That’s what it was like when he first left. Han’s self-blame and Leia’s distance were what drove them apart.” 

Biting her lip, Rey nodded. She wanted to believe so badly that he was lost forever to that evil. But hearing it from her master, someone she had come to trust more than even Finn, it made her finally understand the conflict in her. He was dark side. He had done cruel, unspeakable things. And yet he was still human. 

So she vowed to try. Only to try to see the good in him. Only to try to get along with him, since they were going to be with each other’s company for a very long time. Then perhaps, if she achieved all that, only to try to grant her master’s wish. 

**

They touched down on D’Qar a few days later, having sent warning of the _Millennium Falcon’s_ early return and two extra passengers. Luke was waiting by the loading door as it slowly lowered itself to the ground. Rey hung back, gripping her staff until her knuckles turned white. Her heart was hammering in her throat at the thought of seeing Finn again. She was excited to hear all his wonderful stories, but much less so to tell him hers. How could she tell him that she had been dreaming about and shared an _unbreakable bond_ with the man who had horrifically scarred him? 

When Luke stepped out with R2-D2 by his side, Rey moved forward to see a mob come to greet them. Apparently Luke was more of a legend around here than even Leia. People greeted him with enormous smiles, which he dutifully returned, but his direct path was not detoured. Only a few steps away stood his sister, who enveloped him in a hug. Rey almost looked away. It appeared such a private moment that everyone else was intruding on. 

Chewie startled her with a reassuring growl from beside her. She gave him a small smile, took a deep breath and stepped down the hatch. Warm sunshine hit her face almost immediately. It was a welcome relief from Ahch-To’s cold winds. Those who had greeted Luke most exuberantly just smiled at her in greeting. Some waved, but that was about it. At least it was until people started yelling at a figure pushing frantically through the crowd. 

“Rey!” The familiar voice brought a grin to Rey’s face. A grin so wide it hurt her cheeks. “Rey!” Through the crowd pushed the owner of the voice. A somewhat tall young man with distinct dark skin and a massive beaming smile. 

“Finn!” Rey almost ran towards her best friend, forgetting all of her previous worries. Finn grabbed her in bear hug that she happily reciprocated, squeezing him as tightly as she could. When she pulled away, she noticed he was standing with a slight bend but he didn’t seem to be in any pain. He was still wearing that dusty brown jacket. It was as if he were afraid of offending Poe if he took it off. “You look so much better!” 

“And you look so much stronger!” He squeezed her bicep for a second in mock awe. “Look at you! You’ve put on some muscle.” A chuckle escaped her lips before she noticed someone else approaching behind Finn. 

Poe jogged up to join them, a flirtatious grin on his face. “Hey, Rey. Nice to see you’re still in one piece after Luke’s vigorous training.” He winked, throwing an arm around Finn’s shoulders. The gesture that would have seemed friendly on anyone else clearly meant a bit more to the two of them. Poe stood a bit too close and there was a bit too much colour in Finn’s cheeks. Rey hid a smirk as she watched them. 

“Hi Poe. It’s so nice to see you again. I do hope my friend here hasn’t been much of a burden on you.” She teased. Finn’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of crimson. 

“Oh not at all.” Poe drawled, casting a cheeky glance over at Finn. “In fact he’s been a great stress reliever.” 

Finn elbowed him in the ribs, while Rey tried desperately not to burst out laughing. From the look on their faces, Rey could tell things hadn’t gotten that far for them yet. Finn thought it was just harmless joking on Poe’s part, that the pilot flirted with everyone, whereas Poe knew that he reserved it only for his favourite soldier. 

“Anyway,” Poe continued, “You should probably go see the general. I’m sure she’d like to talk to you. Promise to meet us for dinner though, okay? We’re dying to hear all of your juicy gossip. Oh and BB-8 has been missing you. I’m sure he’d like to hear what you’ve been getting up to without us.” 

“Will do.” Rey promised, her anxieties returning. Finn gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before she turned and headed in the general’s direction. Leia Organa was still talking with her brother. She almost turned to go back to her friends, not wanting to interrupt their reunion, when Leia called to her. 

“Rey! It is lovely to see you again. Luke has been telling me all about the progress you’ve been making.” Leia’s smile was void of happiness. Her brother had told her about Rey’s bond with her son then. 

Rey could only nod. 

“Perhaps we should go inside.” The general gestured for them to follow. The bunker was a labyrinth of grey corridors and rooms glowing with machinery. The last time Rey had been there, she had stayed relatively close to the surface, never venturing deeper into the surface of the planet. Now she was sure that if she didn’t have someone leading her, she would positively get lost in the endless warren of déjà vu. 

They seemed to have walked for hours when they reached the general’s private rooms. Leia waved them in, shutting the door behind Rey, and promptly reached for the decanter of whiskey on the coffee table. She poured herself and her brother a glass, offering some to Rey, which she kindly declined. She didn’t need alcohol to cloud her thoughts any more than they already were. 

Leia downed the glass almost instantly and quickly poured herself another. _So this is how she dealt with everything_ , the sarcastic voice at the back of Rey’s mind said, _alcoholism_. Though she knew it not to be his voice, the words sounded uncannily like those that would come out of her new mind-mate’s mouth. _Now I’m even starting to sound like him_ , Rey internally sighed. 

“So, Rey, would you like to start?” The general’s voice startled Rey out of her thoughts. She and her brother were sat on the settees on either side of the coffee table. Rey, unsure of what to do, settled her staff against the armchair and perched on the end of the cushion. 

“I’m not sure what to say, general.” 

“Please, call me Leia.” Rey nodded, surprisingly relieved about that. “How about we start with when the ‘bond’ started?” 

So Rey told the story. She told Leia how she had first started feeling his presence after Starkiller, how the dreams had started after a couple of months of training – the first time she had been able to meditate successfully – and how he had first spoken to her only days before. Leia listened intently, hanging on every word about her son. Rey left out the additional details about her forbidden combat training, and especially the specifics about the dreams. She was sure Leia wouldn’t want to hear such things. 

“Can… Can you hear him… right now?” Leia’s voice was hoarse, tears pricking in her eyes. It was the first shred, however small, of good news about her son she had received in almost a decade. 

“Not right now. There seems to be a way to shut off the bond, so we can’t hear each other. But I can still _feel_ him, if you see what I mean. I know he’s alive at least.” Rey realised she was contented to know she would always be able to sense if he was alright. She could imagine that if anything were to happen to him that tore him away from the bond, it would leave a gaping hole in her mind. Though she still didn’t like the idea, he was as much a part of her now as her bones were. 

Leia nodded slowly. Disappointment marred her face. Rey wanted to reassure the general that even if she could hear her son right then, she didn’t think Leia could communicate with him directly. Rey supposed that even if the general wanted to, her son would close off the bond too fast for her to get a chance. 

“Rey, would you mind leaving us now? I would like to speak to my brother alone.” Leia said without looking up from her whiskey glass. Glancing at Luke, Rey could see the affirmation in his eyes. 

“Of course. Let me know if there is anything else you need.” 

“I will, thank you.”

** 

Wringing her hands as she walked, Rey tried to find her way back to the surface. She had underestimated just how labyrinthine this place was. She was certain she was getting more and more lost with every turn. It didn’t help that her mind kept wandering. The conversation with Leia had really taken it out of her. 

Talking about everything that had happened over the last six months was much harder than Rey had anticipated. It was as if she were bearing her soul for all to see. Not that she wanted to protect him. What would be the point against his own mother and uncle? But there was something about it that made her feel like she was betraying him. 

Despite that, seeing the grief in Leia’s eyes as Rey explained was heart-breaking. The general probably felt like a scavenger didn’t deserve to have to a bond with her son, didn’t deserve to be lucky enough to speak to him when she had no such fortune. Rey had wanted to embrace the general, tell her that she was going to try to help her son – not that she would add it was against her better judgement. 

Leia deserved it, however. She had lost her husband, albeit at her son’s hands but Rey would no sooner force her to lose him as well than she would give up her precious staff. 

Suddenly Rey’s breath was knocked out of her. The force of it threw her against the wall, causing stars to dance across her vision. Her feet fell out from under her as she collapsed to the ground, staring at the opposite wall. Only she wasn’t seeing the wall. Terror rippled through her as she took in the deformed face that haunted her nightmares. No, not hers. _His_. 

Snoke stood before her, hand outstretched, sucking the breath out of her lungs until she was gagging for breath. Agony thumped through her brain as blood trickled down from her nostrils, filling her mouth with its metallic tang. Images flashed through her mind. Pictures of D’Qar, of the assault on Ahch-To and of her dreams. The humanoid creature laughed. It was an awful rasping sound that scratched at Rey’s eardrums. “She has been dreaming about you too.” 

That was when Rey realised Snoke wasn’t talking to her at all. This was his experience. All his. But he was in _her_ mind. 

_‘Kylo?’_

_‘Rey? What are you doing here?’_ To her surprise, he didn’t sound mad. He sounded… frightened. In as much pain as she was. 

_‘I guess you opened the bond back up again.’_ Rey supressed the urge to scream as Snoke prodded again. _‘Is this what he does to you?’_

Hostility flooded over the bond. He didn’t want her sympathy. That was a little hard when she was currently spitting out his blood. _‘Get out.’_

_‘Then shut me out.’_

And he did. Just like that. 

Rey returned to herself as the pain faded away. She had to take several gulps of air before her head righted itself. Blood soaked her tunic from where it had dripped down from her chin. Hastily wiping it off her skin and clasping her grey vest together to hide the stains, she slumped against the wall, too weak to stand. 

Guilt spread through her chest. She might have been free. But he certainly wasn’t. She couldn’t believe that Snoke would do that to him and he would still follow. Part of her believed he was an idiot and that he deserved it if he was so blind. The other part was getting too dominant for its own good. 

“Miss Rey?” Rey jumped, looking up to find a tall metallic gold figure gazing down with its head tilted. It was about as close to concern as C-3PO could appear. “Are you quite alright?” 

“Yes Threepio, I’m fine.” She lied. The droid would of course know that she was lying, but he just nodded and took her arm to help her up. 

“Do you need medical attention, miss?” 

“No, thank you.” Rey scrubbed at a spot of blood on the floor before the droid saw it. “But can you help me get to the surface? I seem to be awfully lost.” 

“Yes of course, miss! Please follow me.” C-3PO exclaimed, excited to be of service. 

Rey followed silently behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. Chapter 3 done and dusted. I hope you all enjoyed it! 
> 
> I promise they'll get to meet properly soon; the plot of this is pretty long and drawn-out. Perhaps you'll notice that the first time they actually say each other's names in this fic is when they're both in the experience together.
> 
> Let me know what you thought!


	4. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally have a bit of admittance from Rey and Kylo here. Some of you will be thinking 'Finally, the plot is moving forward!' I know it's taking a while, but the next chapter will be a special one.
> 
> Hope you enjoy chapter four!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to everyone who has taken time out of their day to read this. All the kudos and comments mean so much to me, especially as a first-time poster! Thank you so much! 
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

The mess hall was slowly filling up. Despite its immense size and never-ending supply of tables, it was becoming more and more claustrophobic. The line for food got longer by the second and every table around where Rey sat was quickly occupied. No-one sat with her, whether out of respect for her status or the mournful expression on her face as she impassively swirled her food around with her fork, she couldn’t decide. 

She had been sat there for over an hour, her chicken and rice having long since gone cold. She knew she should have gone straight back to Luke and Leia, or at least tried to find Finn. However, on her long journey with C-3PO, she had decided she didn’t much desire to speak to anyone. The droid had dropped her off at the surface, where it immediately expressed its desire to help her find her quarters, if she so wished. But she refused his offer kindly and he went on his way. She hadn’t felt much like being in such a small enclosed space either. 

Now she regretted choosing the mess hall. Though it was a huge, cavernous space with floor to ceiling windows and constantly open doors to allow air to pass through, it’s size only allowed for more people. 

She was about to get up when she felt a gentle bump against her leg. Glancing down, Rey found a spherical droid with a half-sphere shaped head, one huge black eye and a white-and-orange design. “BB-8!” It was the first time in hours that Rey felt any sense of happiness. 

The droid beeped excitedly at seeing her. 

“Yes, it’s nice to see you too.” Rey couldn’t stop the grin from stretching her face. 

BB-8 proceeded to tell her how much he’d missed her and ask her lots of questions about her training. She answered each one kindly, since they were only of simple curiosity. That was until the droid mentioned her being able to best her enemy in battle again. 

Rey’s face fell. She wasn’t sure why she was so shaken by what had happened. Surely it was the least he deserved after everything he had done. Wasn’t it? The scavenger in Rey told her that it was, but the Jedi in Rey told her that no-one deserved that. 

BB-8 emitted a string of frantic beeps. He was worried he had offended her. Rey shook her head at him and gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. The little droid calmed a bit before rolling around to the other side of the table to greet his master who had just plonked himself down on the table across from Rey. 

“Hey, Padawan.” Poe greeted, giving her a lazy smile as he chewed on a carrot. Then he saw her plate and raised an eyebrow. She had told him all about how hard life on Jakku had been. He must have assumed after that she would never turn down another piece of food ever again. “Not hungry?” 

“Not really.” She muttered, not looking up from her resumed swirling. 

“You need to eat. Got to keep that strength up.” Poe winked at her. When she didn’t respond, he placed a warm hand on her arm. “What’s happened?” 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. Could she tell him? She wasn’t sure she could. Both Poe and Finn would look at her as if she were crazy if she tried to explain her Force bond with the man they hated most in the galaxy. 

“I guess I’m still just a little shook up from the attack.” Not a complete lie. 

Poe nodded in understanding and patted her arm. “I get that.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments. The weather outside had turned from sunny and warm to almost a full-blown thunderstorm. Such conditions were extremely rare on D’Qar, but the base was fully-equipped to deal with it. The last remnants of the workers scurried in from outside as Rey watched shutters fall over the hangars that held the ships. She caught a glimpse of the _Millennium Falcon’s_ cockpit before the grey sheet of metal closed over it. Shutters also started to come down around the mess hall, protecting the glass. 

Rey shuddered as a particularly strong gust of wind blew through the doors. A couple of nearby pilots rushed to close them and thread a piece of loose piping through the handles. Poe saw her shiver and immediately began taking his jacket off, but he was too late as by the time he had gotten one arm out, there was already another jacket around her shoulders. Technically it was still Poe’s jacket. 

She turned to find what she thought was her best friend standing behind her. He only looked half-like the man who had stood beside her on Starkiller. The other half was dripping wet and freezing. Rey instantly took the jacket off and shoved it back in Finn’s direction. Finn waved her off but she glared at him. “You’ll either take this or I’ll force you to take it,” she said, emphasising that last part. Finn knew she could do it and took the jacket from her. “You need it more than I do.” 

Finn smiled gratefully as he sat down beside her, wiping his soaked face with a napkin. He then wrapped his jacket around his shoulders, soaking in the warmth. Poe was watching the ex-trooper with an affectionate gaze. Rey was sure that alone could have warmed Finn up. She abruptly wondered whose gaze would make her skin heat up. One name instantly came to mind, but she pushed it out. Now she was shuddering for a different reason. She had never thought about him in that way before. 

_It’s just the bond. It’s messing up your head, nothing more._ Rey held onto that belief as more images flashed through her head, seemingly involuntarily. She imagined him wrapping his robes around her, shielding her from the cold. She shivered again at the idea. 

“You sure you’re not cold?” Finn asked. Rey glanced up to find both men and droid staring at her. 

“Yes, really. I’m fine.” She grumbled, more morose than she intended. 

Sensing something was wrong, Finn nodded and jumped into conversation with Poe. “So do you think Jessika will mind?” 

“No, not at all.” Poe said, taking another bite of the carrot. “She told me she’s very interested. Especially with me being so busy.” 

Rey quirked an eyebrow. What were they talking about? 

“Yeah,” Finn muttered sullenly. “I wish you could teach me,” He immediately cleared his throat. “Being the best pilot in the Resistance and all.” 

Poe smiled sadly. It warmed Rey’s heart to see how these two looked at each other. If she had ever imagined what love would look like, this would be what she saw. “I’m not sure about the ‘best’ anymore with this one here.” Poe said recovering himself. He waggled his fork in Rey’s direction. 

For the first time that day, Rey almost laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I could never fly an X-Wing.” 

“I’d love to see you try.” He winked. Turning back to Finn, Poe ran his hands through his soft dark curls. Rey watched Finn’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, his eyes trained on the Resistance pilot. “Anyway, Jessika will be happy to teach you. I’ll tell her to go easy on you though. She tends to like to push people.” 

“I can imagine.” Finn chuckled. 

Rey had never met Jessika Pava, the Blue Three pilot of Poe’s squadron. From what Poe had told her, Jessika was a very talented pilot, having fought on Starkiller and come out almost entirely unscathed. She was one of the only female pilots, which made Rey admire her more. She was certain Finn couldn’t learn from anyone better, save from Poe. Rey would have liked to teach him herself, but she would have gotten too frustrated with his blunders far too quickly. 

The two men carried on chatting, lost in each other for the moment. She supposed her stories could wait for another day. Despite how comfortable with them she felt, Rey was certain she would never be ready to tell them. 

**

Shaking and stirring, Kylo woke to the most terrible darkness. He sat up, breathless, frantically searching the room for intruders. He clicked his fingers once and the lights came on, illuminating the room in a soft glow. He sighed when he realised there was no-one there. 

Nightmares had come to him in droves that night. Snoke’s vicious attacks had almost killed him, he was sure. By the end, there was so much blood, so much pain that Kylo had blackness consuming his vision. He had been certain it was the end. And what for? To protect the girl? 

Snoke hadn’t wanted to know anything. The moment the Supreme Leader had received news of the invasion’s failure, he had known that Skywalker and his Padawan would return to D’Qar, a planet they couldn’t attack effectively without the Superweapon. Regardless, he had sent for Kylo and tortured him into a coma, convinced the dark lord had forewarned the scavenger when he had done no such thing. He hadn’t even known about the attack until Hux told him the Stormtroopers had been dispatched. 

Using Stormtroopers alone had been a foolish move. A cynical part of Kylo was convinced that Snoke had ordered it purposely so it would fail and he would have another excuse to torture his apprentice. And perhaps pull the Force bond apart. 

Despite that, Kylo wasn’t sure what he would have done should the Supreme Leader have sent him. He wouldn’t have hesitated in attacking his uncle, but the girl… The girl he didn’t have the heart to harm himself. It wasn’t as if she was of great consequence, but wasting that kind of power would be ridiculous. He wasn’t ready to accept that losing her end of the bond would rip open the lonely abyss in his head that had been slowly getting smaller with her presence. 

Pushing himself up on aching muscles, Kylo settled himself against the headboard of his bed. He’d somehow ended up back in his chambers. He shuddered at the thought that someone had brought him here. If Hux had anything to do with it, the redhead was going to end up with a lovely new laceration on his body. 

The throbbing in his head steadily thumped between his eyes. Gripping the bridge of his nose between two fingers, he willed the pain to recede. It didn’t, still going strong no matter how hard he tried. He was no Jedi so of course Force healing would elude him. There were many things that came to mind when he thought of remedying it the old-fashioned way: tea, coffee, a shower. But none of those seemed tempting enough. Another idea came to him that always seemed to calm him down. Would she want to talk to him? Probably not. Should he apologise for causing her so much pain? He wouldn’t even know how. 

The bond had been closed for hours now. Though it seemed it never stayed completely shut off. He had practically thrown her out when Snoke was torturing him. He hadn’t wanted her to see him so weak. Now, however, some of her strongest emotions came flooding through. He could feel her fear and her indecisiveness. 

Opening the bond a tiny bit, he peered into her consciousness. Apparently he hadn't been as gentle as he thought because her head jerked up from the plate of cold food she was staring at. Through her eyes, he saw her companions – FN-2187 and the Resistance pilot – look at her in surprise. He felt her give them a small smile, reassuring them she was alright. Kylo smirked. She hadn’t told them about the bond. 

_‘He’s stopped torturing you then, I assume?’_ Though her tone was blunt, he could sense a tentativeness in her words. It shocked Kylo. He couldn’t respond for a few moments as he pondered over her reasoning. Did she actually _care_? Or was she just trying to save herself from enduring that torture again? The latter seemed more likely. 

_‘Like you care.’_ He growled impassively. Pushing her as far away as he could seemed like his best option. 

Her cautiously kind attitude dissipated, replaced with offended rage. _‘Why did you come here if you’re only going to insult me?’_

_‘It’s interesting to see what awful food they give you there.’_

_‘Better than nothing.’_ She countered, allowing the fork to swirl her uneaten food by itself. Her companions barely noticed but the droid by her feet was watching, transfixed. 

_‘So why aren’t you eating it?’_

_‘After our encounter today, you can hardly expect me to be hungry.’_

Kylo said nothing to that. Though his own stomach was growling, he doubted he’d be able to keep anything down. The girl kept telekinetically moving her fork, faltering a few times, having to pick it up and start over. Evidently she wasn’t as good at everything Force related as he was. She didn’t say anything, though she knew he was still watching her. When the lack of conversation turned his attention back to the throbbing in his head, she took notice. Rey had nowhere near mastered Force healing, barely grasping the concept. Regardless, she sent across what she hoped were soothing healing vibes. To her gratification, it worked. The pain eased in his skull, thus in hers. 

Kylo didn’t say thank you, rather fixed his attention elsewhere. It was the first time he had noticed the blood spots on her tunic beneath her vest. He didn’t actually see it, rather felt its dry presence on her skin. _‘Did it hurt?’_

_‘Yes.’_ She muttered bluntly. _‘But I imagine it hurt you more.’_

_‘You have no idea.’_ Suddenly realising what he said, Kylo cleared his throat. He would not show weakness to this scavenger. 

_‘Does he always do that to you?’_ She sounded concerned again. Kylo felt her internally growl at herself. She didn’t want to care. She didn’t, she wouldn’t. He smirked at her self-hatred. She was right, she shouldn’t care. Nevertheless, it was amusing to see her so conflicted when the last time they met, she had been so sure about what she wanted. 

When he didn’t respond, she huffed. Her presence started receding from him, leaving him alone in his thoughts. To his own surprise, he exclaimed, _‘Wait.’_ She came back. Hurt and frustrated, but she remained. _‘Not always. Just when I deserve it.’_

Rey's throat clogged up. _‘Why did you deserve it?’_

_‘You got away.’_

His statement left no room for argument and she didn’t indulge him in such protests. Though his own heart contracted, merely mirroring her reaction. She thought it wasn’t his fault they got away. He hadn’t even been there, yet still it was his responsibility. If he hadn’t been so weak on Starkiller, she wouldn’t have been on Ahch-To in the first place. Her sympathy suffocated him. Despite how much she still hated him, she wanted to stop Snoke’s torture. It may have been mistaken for compassion if her preferred method of doing so hadn’t been to kill the Supreme Leader and drag Kylo back to his family. A family he had no doubt wanted him strung up for everything he had done. 

At least he was right. There was some darkness in her. 

She was about to say something else when he decided he’d had enough. Kylo roughly shut off the bond, severing their connection. Almost as soon as he had the pain in his body returned. It tore through him, mashing up his insides. He wouldn’t have been surprised if his heart was a churned up lump of mush by now. To his relief, his head remained neutral. 

Why did talking to her make everything seem easier and yet slash another void in his mask of darkness?

**

An hour after the abrupt end of their conversation, Rey was restlessly pacing her quarters. She didn’t understand. Why did he think it was his fault? Why was he so determined to stay with the First Order like this? Why was it _her_ responsibility to worry about this? 

Rey angrily knocked a vase off the cabinet and cringed when the sound of it shattering reached her ears. Great. Now she was no better than him. Kneeling down by the shards, she gingerly picked up the pieces with her fingertips, careful not to cut herself. The last thing she wanted was to have to go to the med bay and endure more of C-3PO’s questions. The droid was sweet for caring about her welfare, but damn his voice really did get annoying sometimes. 

_You have to do it for Leia. You have to do it for Luke._ She repeated that mantra until another name took the Skywalker twins’ place, a name that made tears prick in her eyes. _You have to do it for Han._

She knew she only had his acquaintance for a short while. But she felt like he was the father she had always dreamed of. He was what a father was supposed to be, she thought. Kind, protective, teaching – albeit a little snarky and condescending at times, but that only added to his charm. Even Luke didn’t feel like a true mentor to her in that way. And she knew that he had been the one to kill him. But anyone with eyes could see how Han had affectionately touched his son’s face, the face of a grown man he had only just had the chance to see, before he fell. Anyone with ears could hear the pleading in his voice when the smuggler had asked his son to come home. Han had loved his son to the end. He had believed there was light left in that cold, dark abyss of a heart. And so would Rey. 

Setting the last shards of glass on the cabinet ready for an assistance droid to clean it away in the morning, Rey settled back onto her bed. It was the first time in her memory that she would ever sleep in a proper bed. That realisation made her smile broadly. No more hammocks in old AT-ATs, no more cold, worn cots. _An actual bed!_

She was about to lay down and savour the comfort against her sore muscles when her happiness was interrupted by a loud rap at the door. Rey shot up, sticking her tongue out at the door. Trust C-3PO to ruin her moment. However, when she opened the door, it wasn’t a shining golden droid staring back at her. 

“Finn?” Rey’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah.” Finn smiled. “Just that Poe is going on a trip to deliver a message to the officials in Naboo. You know, what’s left of the Senate. And guess who’s offered to give us a place to stay? The Queen of Naboo! He invited me along and asked if you’d like to come too.” 

Rey lightened up again. She had always wanted to visit Naboo. It’s beautiful capital more so. She had heard it was even more spectacular than Takodana. “Of course!” She practically shouted before toning her voice down. “I’d love to go with you.” 

“Great! Let’s go.” 

She stepped back, stunned. “What? Now?” 

“Yeah, Poe has to leave right away.” Finn frowned, worried that she had changed her mind. When his eyes saw the rumpled covers of her bed, he realised she wanted sleep. “It’s okay. You can sleep on the way. We’re taking the _Falcon,_ since we can’t all fit into Poe’s tiny X-Wing.” 

A little disappointed, Rey nodded. She grabbed her staff and strapped it across her back. Her pack was still hanging around her waist, though she had taken out Luke’s old lightsaber. _A routine trip to Naboo… You probably won’t need it._ So she left it hidden in a drawer in her cabinet and locked the door behind her. 

Following Finn through the corridors up the surface, Rey peered into each passing room. There were technicians working through the night to ensure everything was running smoothly as the base slept. It was amazing how swiftly things could turn around. They had to be alert at all times. In some rooms, there were even military debates going on. Rey didn’t catch much of it, but what she heard of it was surprisingly promising. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve cleared this trip with Luke.” Finn was saying to her. Rey tuned back in to his endless babble. She was sure most of it had been about Poe. “Wouldn’t want him to be wondering where you’d gotten off to when you’re supposed to be training.” 

Finn grinned, though Rey didn’t reciprocate it. “I doubt he’d want to train at the moment. He’s still catching up with his sister.” _About me._

Her best friend nodded. “That makes sense. I suppose that’s why he agreed so readily.” 

Then his chatter went straight back to the Resistance pilot. Rey dutifully listened to some of it: how Poe was amazing at hitting faraway targets; how Poe could turn in the tightest of corners; how Poe made the best curry in the galaxy. Rey chuckled a little at that last one. She wondered if Poe knew how Finn felt, if Finn even knew himself. She made it her mission to get them together by any means necessary. After all, she was going to be there for a while training, so why not do a little match-making to keep herself entertained? 

The one-sided conversation continued until they emerged in the hangar where the _Falcon_ was sat. The loading door was down with Poe stood chatting with Chewie, BB-8 sitting by his leg. The Wookiee growled in greeting when they approached before marching off in the opposite direction. Rey turned to Poe. “He’s not coming?” 

“No, he has things to do here.” Poe grinned at her. “He has bequeathed the Falcon to you.” 

“Me?” Rey’s breath was stolen from her lungs. Since Han’s death, Chewie had taken care of and protected the ship just as his best friend had. That the Wookiee would give her such an honour, deeming her worthy of the Falcon, brought tears to her eyes. 

Poe nodded. “He said we can only take it if you’re flying it. Even I’m not allowed to touch the controls.” 

Rey grinned at the departing Wookiee and then at her friends. BB-8 beeped excitedly as they boarded the ship. Rey made a direct bee-line for the cockpit. _Screw sleep_ , she thought, _flying’s better._

**

Naboo was even more beautiful than Rey had ever imagined. Endless expanses of green greeted her tired eyes as she guided the _Falcon_ towards Theed. Waterfalls tumbled over cliff sides, thundering into the glistening lakes below. The sun shimmered on the water and off the leaves of trees, illuminating everything in a soft ethereal glow. 

The palace was incredible. It stood, proud and majestic, protruding from a particularly high cliff side. Large domes made of stone announced its existence to Rey before the large expanses of its gardens or the enormous statues marking its entrance did. The palace had its own waterfalls tumbling down the cliff side it occupied, making it seem like the grand building was sat on its own pool of stars. 

Rey stared in awe as she lowered the freighter closer to the ground. Poe had told her it was okay to park the _Falcon_ in the palace grounds, so as not to attract too much attention. She almost ignored his advice because she didn’t want to ruin any of the beautiful flowerbeds and water fountains. Only then did she notice the open hangar. 

Rey softly guided the _Falcon_ in, having first announced her arrival, and turned off the engines. She turned out of the cockpit to find Poe shirtless, running a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. He squinted at her for a moment before realising they had landed. Unfortunately, he didn’t get his shirt back on before Finn came through. 

The ex-trooper sucked in a breath at the sight of Poe’s abs. Rey herself would have been impressed had she not been internally giggling at the expression on Finn’s face. Poe gave him a sly half-grin, winking at him in the process. Finn stood dumbstruck for a moment, almost drooling at the mouth, before Rey clapped a hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of his reverie. He gave Rey a _‘thank you for not letting me look like an idiot’_ smile. She grinned back before rushing to the loading bay door. 

Who she saw waiting for her made her stop short. The queen herself, accompanied by her personal guard, had come to greet them. Rey walked slowly down the loading door and bowed deeply to the queen. The Padawan knew very little about the monarchy of Naboo, only that the kings or queens were elected. The natives of the planet often elected young women, and from the look of the regal girl in front of her, Rey could see why. 

The queen was no older than Rey herself, perhaps even younger. Rey would have guessed at maybe seventeen. There was a youth-like beauty to the ruler’s presence. But in her eyes, Rey could see wisdom beyond anyone at her tender age should have. It was a child-like wisdom, the kind that dictated the importance of love and peace instead of raw power. Rey realised the Naboo were wise themselves for their ways. Love was the greatest way of ruling. With compassion, you could bend anyone to your will. 

_That’s what he’s missing._ Rey smirked at the thought. He thought he was wise; she knew better. 

The queen smiled warmly at Rey before looking beyond her to where Finn and Poe were descending from the Falcon. The Resistance pilot bowed instantly, with Finn abruptly following suit. “Your majesty,” Poe began, “General Organa of the Resistance has sent me with a message for your officials. I trust she has already sent word to you.” 

The queen bowed her head in greeting. “Yes, she most definitely has.” Her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, only made more electrifying by the deep brown of her hair. Rey found herself feeling jealous at the effortless beauty of the queen. Living on Jakku hadn’t exactly done wonders for her complexion. “I would like to welcome you all to Theed. It is truly an honour to meet a Padawan of Luke Skywalker.” 

Rey was speechless. She never would have expected such an admittance from a queen. “Thank you, your majesty.” 

The queen turned then and started off towards the palace. Her guards gestured for them to follow as they struggled to keep up. “You see, your master is quite the legend around here. Not only is he the one who liberated us from the Empire, he is the treasured son of our wonderful Queen Amidala. May she rest in peace.” 

Rey remembered Queen Amidala from Luke’s teachings. He hadn’t made much progress with her leaning of the histories of the galaxy, but his mother had definitely come up once or twice. “So, is Luke like a Prince of Naboo?” 

The queen chuckled. “Not quite. The title of Prince or Princess of Theed is much like being the queen. If you are elected into the role, it is the equivalent of being the mayor. As for the entirety of Naboo, well I suppose Skywalker is something of a prince, yes. But it doesn’t really work that way here.” 

Rey shut her mouth then. Poe took over her role in the conversation, relaying Leia’s pleasantries. As they wandered through the vast halls of the palace, Rey took in the magnificent décor. They were currently walking past the palace courtyard, where many officials were wandering about making conversation and the queen’s large assortment of ladies-in-waiting were milling about by the water fountains. Rey imagined what it was like to live there, being waited on for everything, being able to enjoy the luxuries of water whenever it pleased her. She smiled at the impossibility. 

Where one wall was open to the courtyard, stone pillars rising up at frequent intervals, the other was adorned with portraits of the many monarchs of Naboo. They went back centuries. Each one was beautiful with an imperial air to them. It took a while for anyone to appear that Rey recognised. She had heard of Queen Amidala’s predecessor King Veruna, though knew next to nothing about him. Then came the portrait that made her pause. 

She had heard that Padmé Amidala was beautiful, more so than any other monarch of Naboo. But the talk was wrong. She wasn’t beautiful. She was _stunning._ Dark brown hair with deep chocolate eyes that held a fire rivalled only by the sun itself. Rey knew just from looking at her that her beauty didn’t come from her appearance alone. It came from the way she held herself. A force to be reckoned with. Now Rey knew where the general got her looks from. Where the latest generation of that bloodline got them from. 

Rey shook the thought away, but she couldn’t deny it. When he had first taken his helmet off, the first thought – much to her dismay – that came to her head was that he was attractive. Not necessarily in the way Poe was, or even the way Han was in his youth. Not in the conventional sense. 

It was the aura of power that surrounded him. The slowly simmering fire beneath that smouldering gaze waiting to be released. The way the softness of his skin was pulled tight over the strength of his jaw. The way his helmet-mussed hair framed his pale face with its shadow, accentuating the darkness in his eyes. If that darkness wasn’t the one thing Rey was trying to avoid, it would have been easy to slip into that ocean and drown. 

As she stared at the painting, Rey realised he had inherited a great many things from his grandmother, including his ample lips. Without noticing, Rey’s teeth were digging into the skin of her own lips hard enough to draw blood. When the metallic tang filled her mouth, she blinked once, twice, clearing her clouded thoughts. 

“Rey?” The entire convoy had stopped to see where she’d gotten to. They had made significant progress while she was stood lost in her thoughts. Finn was staring at her, gently tilting his head as if to say _‘come on, we can’t keep her waiting’._

“Sorry.” She muttered. Taking one last look at Padmé, she scurried to catch up with them. 

** 

She thought he was attractive. She actually thought _he_ was attractive. 

Kylo was dazed. He had only floated into her head for a moment. The longer they went without speaking, the more curious he got. He had been surprised to see his grandmother’s eyes staring back at him. It had been a while since he’d seen a picture of her. His grandmother had been the one he inherited the majority of his physical traits from, and in turn his mother. 

The girl had been staring at Padmé Amidala like she was meeting her life’s inspiration. He supposed despite her isolation on Jakku, she had heard of the queen. After all, his grandmother was known to be the greatest queen Naboo ever had. In a way, he agreed. Her existence had pushed his grandfather into the darkness. For that, he thanked her. 

Then the girl’s thoughts had turned. To something Kylo didn’t quite expect. She hadn’t known he was there, lurking silently in the back of her consciousness. If she had, Kylo had no doubt she would have killed all the thoughts stone dead. He couldn’t quite decide whether it was fortunate or not for him that she hadn’t. 

From the moment he saw the scavenger on Takodana, he had thought she was… different. Different from other women he’d met, at least. Delicate as a desert flower but unbreakable as a stone wall. She had been the only one to show true bravery in front of him. The only one to fight his fire with hers. 

To know that she reciprocated those instincts was crushing. Whereas before he thought she detested the notion of him near her, now he couldn’t ignore the terrifying energy between them. Now Snoke would have cause to torture him again. 

Growling, Kylo decided his next move. She was on Naboo. Without his uncle to protect her. Without his uncle’s lightsaber. 

Snoke would soon have what he wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh what could possibly happen next...? 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed chapter four! Please let me know what you thought!


	5. Savin' Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a bit of proper action!
> 
> Rey and Kylo finally meet, but does it go the way he wants?
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's taking me a while to update, but I've just started college and I don't want to rush these chapters.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has read it, and sixty portions to everyone who has been kind enough to kudos and comment!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm. 
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

“I can’t clear this without the Supreme Leader’s permission.” 

Kylo snarled. “You will sanction this for me, general, or I will take your head to the Supreme Leader to remind you both just who you’re dealing with.” 

Even through the menacing rumble of the mask, General Hux appeared unfazed. The redhead cocked an eyebrow at Kylo, challenging him to go ahead and fulfil his threat. Kylo’s fingers twitched, itching to grab his lightsaber and sever the general’s smug smirk from the rest of his face. He had been particularly annoying these last two months with his newfound power over Kylo. Snoke no longer trusted his apprentice and so Kylo had to clear any journey away from _The Finalizer_ with his master, and thus in turn through Hux, who was ordered to keep an eye on him. 

“Why is it that you want to go to Naboo anyway? Do you want to worship the ground your grandfather walked on?” Hux said, barely able to keep the chuckle from his voice. Kylo growled low in his throat. “Don’t think me a fool to be mocked, general. Or I can just as easily have your beloved cat’s head.” 

The general straightened at that. If there was one thing Hux loved as much as taunting his fellow commander, it was his cat Millicent. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Oh but I would.” 

Hux, unfortunately, didn’t take the bait. “Why do you want to go to Naboo?” 

“The girl is there. Alone and vulnerable. I’m sure it is in the Supreme Leader’s best interests to have her in the hands of the First Order. She may not be there much longer so I have no time to inform him.” Kylo explained through gritted teeth. 

The general was still unsure. His lower lip was sucked between his teeth in thought. At least it was until a soft meow came from the corner of the control room. The ginger cat, its fur exactly mimicking Hux’s hair colour, padded over to the general. It nuzzled its head against the general’s leg, prompting him to scoop the creature into his arms. 

Kylo made a point of moving his hand to the hilt of his lightsaber, eyes fixed on Millicent. The cat hissed in return. Hux turned his body to shield Millicent from Kylo’s rage. “Fine.” 

Smiling triumphantly behind the mask, Kylo waved the general off as he left.

**

It would take a day to get to Naboo. A day to be stuck on this ship. A day to wonder what else the girl thought of him. 

Kylo sat alone in the cockpit of his command shuttle. He preferred to fly alone, though he rarely ever got to. Normally, he was scaring his assigned Stormtroopers into doing his bidding, leaving someone else to pilot the Upsilon-class shuttle. Every judder of the ship irked him then. Whenever a pilot assigned to his shuttle from the Order flew, they would never make a smooth landing. There would never be a flawless take-off. 

Along with his Force-heightened abilities, he was also the son of a famous smuggler and grandson to a former podracer. So his flying capabilities were outstanding, to say the least. 

His companions flew in shuttles flanking him. Kylo had refused Stormtrooper assistance, opting instead for a power much stronger. The Knights of Ren, or what was left of them, followed in two separate shuttles to their master’s. Kylo didn’t particularly like spending too much time with those in his charge. Though he had trained with them for several years under Snoke’s guidance, the knights had never taken a shining to their master because of his “tainted” background. 

Kylo snorted, recalling the events of one particular evening. It had been two years prior, close to the time he had been moved to Starkiller Base to assist in the search for Skywalker. He had been training on Snoke’s mobile base, mostly separate from the other knights. Keeping almost completely to himself, Kylo had a very lonely existence with only his grandfather’s half-melted mask to accompany him. 

As part of his training, Kylo was required to interrogate every prisoner taken by the First Order and transferred to the base. The practice had greatly improved his telepathic abilities, but with each person it got harder. The things he would see in their minds… The things the First Order had done. The things _he_ had done. When one day he refused to interrogate a young child, claiming they had no need for the orphaned boy, the knights called him soft. They beat him into submission. Being the youngest and least well-built, he was vulnerable to their attacks. It would have been fine, if only they hadn’t reported his weakness to Snoke. 

A sudden voice filled the cockpit. “Master, we are approaching Theed. We should prepare to touch down.” 

Barely keeping the growl from his voice, Kylo replied, “Ready yourselves. We shall not be met kindly.” 

Turning the intercom off, Kylo gripped hold of the controls and guided his shuttle through the Naboo atmosphere. He could feel the girl’s presence, getting stronger with every mile closer he got. When the Theed palace finally came into view, it was almost overwhelming. 

Trying – and failing – to block it out, he watched the palace grow in his vision. Even to his cold view of the galaxy, the capital was magnificent. Fit for a king. 

He had only visited once in his life. Over a decade ago with his mother. The little he remembered of the encounter stuck in his memory like an annoying itch. A time when his mother would take him to all the sweet shops and allow him to gorge himself on all he wanted until he felt sick. A time when he had played with the other children in the palace courtyard. A time when he actually recalled being happy. 

Now the memory filled him with a freezing dread. 

The two shuttles flanking him overtook his command vessel, soaring in an arc before plunging towards the ground. His knights touched down in the palace courtyard, the wings of the ships folding in. Following suit, Kylo guided his shuttle down, landing just between the others. 

Leaving the cockpit, he settled his mask over his face. A cruel voice told him he should bare his face to show the other end of the bond just what she’d done to him. But ninety-nine percent of the galaxy had no concept of his true face, of his true identity. He intended to keep it that way. 

Kylo approached the loading door as it hissed on its hinges, revealing him to the warm winds of Theed. His knights were already out, Force-enhanced weapons in hand. None of them turned to watch their master exit as they normally would. Because all their gazes were already trained elsewhere. 

The entire population of the palace had come to see their arrival, it seemed. The guards had their blasters trained on the approaching Knights of Ren. Some officials were frantically calling for backup, while others were attempting to herd the queen back into the palace. To her credit, the Queen of Naboo was having none of it. 

Two of the queen’s companions looked very familiar. One with an unmistakeable orange jacket, the other with a slight hunch in his back. 

Kylo Ren ignited his lightsaber. 

And there she was.

**

It was like someone was taking over her body. 

Rey could almost feel every blink of his eye, every thump of his heart. It had never felt like this before. What was different? 

She was stood at the back of the throne room, leant against a pillar by the door. The conversation going on before her had lost her interest a while ago. The queen sat bone-straight on her throne, overseeing the transition of information from Poe to the three senators stood before him. As disgraceful as the event that wiped out the New Republic had been, the Resistance was lucky that what had survived mostly supported their cause against the First Order. Poe was swiftly relaying Leia’s plans to temporarily rebuild the Senate on D’Qar. 

Finn shifted uncomfortably from the other pillar lining the door. Since his injury, he hadn’t been able to stand up for a prolonged amount of time, but there were no other chairs in the room. Rey prayed for the meeting to end soon. 

An idea occurred to her then. As quietly as she could so she didn’t interrupt the discussion, Rey crept over to Finn. The ex-trooper glanced at her suspiciously. She placed a finger over her lips before taking his hand in hers. Closing her eyes, she pushed her Force healing through her palms into his. The tension in his arms instantly relaxed and he gave a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” Finn whispered. Her Force healing ability was something Rey had told her best friend about. It was one of the things she was most prominent in, which surprised her because even Luke couldn’t do it to the extent she could. 

They both turned their attention back to the intense deliberations at the far end of the grand room. At least they did until the familiar roar of engines filled the air. 

Through the enormous window behind the throne, Rey saw three Upsilon-class shuttles powering toward the palace. They were large, cast in all-black with giant bird-like wings. She had seen ships like that only once before. 

Rey shuddered, reaching out in her mind. All she encountered was blackness. He hadn’t closed off the bond. There was no wall blocking her from entering. But she couldn’t see him. Unless… 

He had his eyes closed, reaching out in turn to her. 

He was there. 

Rey was out the door as fast as her feet would carry her. Guards were already soldiering down the hallways, blasters in hand. Finn and Poe burst through the door moments after her. They didn’t say anything, just shot each other a knowing look before readying their own blasters and taking off after the guards. She wasted no time either. 

Racing down the corridor, she tried to figure out why he was there but he wouldn’t show her anything. Instead of the blank canvas, now he was projecting only a single childhood memory. It shocked Rey that he would allow her to see such things. She reasoned that he must trust her at least a little to see the image of a little boy with blue sugar coating his lips running to catch up with his mother. 

More guards filtered through, all heading towards one exit. The queen had apparently taken a shortcut and despite the officials trying to force her inside, she resisted and walked proudly into the courtyard to meet her attackers. Rey quickened her pace, emerging into the cool air outside. _Should have brought the lightsaber, damn it._

The guards parted for her rush through. Her friends remained with the first line of defence as she stormed past, halting just a few paces in front. 

There he was. 

Cloaked in his usual black robes and cowl, Kylo Ren stared at her from behind that scarred mask. His whole body tensed at seeing her for the first time since Starkiller. It was different than just talking over the bond. Now, in such close quarters, they could feel each other’s every breath. 

His scarlet lightsaber was flaring, sparking off and burning the ground around it. She supposed that’s why his cowl was torn; his lightsaber had singed half of it off. 

They stayed like that for several moments, just listening to each other breathe, waiting for the other to make the first move. 

_“What are you doing here?”_ She demanded. 

She was met by radio silence. As if in answer, he twirled his lightsaber around, sending showers of sparks across the ground. 

A bad move on his part because Finn wasn’t taking any chances. His blaster went off first, shooting the blue bolt towards Kylo. The knight didn’t even flinch, though the bolt stopped inches from his face. Flicking his fingers, the bolt flew off to the side and hit one of the stone pillars lining the covered walkway, reducing the stone to dust. Then he jerked his head towards his companions, who began their approach. 

The courtyard exploded into a frenzy of blaster bolts. The guards pulled their triggers in rapid succession, the energy that tore out of them shredding any civility that was once held in that palace. Their assaults did nothing to slow the approaching enemies down, who – now that Rey looked at them properly – she recognised as the Knights of Ren. 

They had been in her vision, now blurry from so many months having passed. She remembered seven – there were seven standing before her now, including their master – all clad in black each with glowing red weapons. Though they weren’t lightsabers, they were definitely forged using kyber crystals. 

Every bolt was deflected or returned, causing the officials to forcefully push the queen back inside to stop any rubble hitting her. Some of the guards ran out to meet the knights, but were promptly cut down by their strange weapons. Finn and Poe, fortunately, were smart enough to stay at bay. 

In the chaos, Kylo made for Rey. He stormed toward her, lightsaber slicing through anyone that got in his way. Rey grasped for the blaster at her hip – Han’s blaster – but thought better of it. With his level of weapon, there was nothing she could do without Luke’s lightsaber. Even her beloved staff wouldn’t last a minute against the shaft of flickering red energy. 

Her feet involuntarily carried her backwards. She stumbled up the steps, almost tripping, as he continued his advance. In front of her, Finn shot up from his kneeling position to face Kylo head on. Poe grabbed for his arm to pull him back down, but she was a second quicker. With a flick of her wrist, she shoved him back to the floor. She would _not_ lose him as well. 

The knight ignored the ex-trooper. His attention never moved from Rey. She found the unwavering eyes of his mask terrifying. Nothing but the suffocating stench of death radiated off him. After everything she’d been through, after everything she had thought had passed between them, this was how her life would end. 

Kylo’s hand suddenly shot out. She was thrown backwards, halfway into the hallway. Her head collided with the marble floor, sending sparks of pain through her. Through the black spots culminating in her vision, she saw him flinch, experiencing her pain too. Nevertheless, he kept coming. 

Rey scrambled to her feet, ignoring the steady throbbing in her head. Desperate, she un-holstered the blaster from her hip but before she could even click off the safety, it was thrown from her hand. She scowled at Kylo, making a point of dragging it back to herself. 

He was close enough now that she could feel almost every bristle of his skin as if it were her own. Towering above her, she had to crane her neck to stare into his mask. Rey held the blaster out again, finger poised to pull the trigger. Part of her knew she wouldn’t do it. And he knew too. But that didn’t stop him from bringing his saber down, severing the barrel from the grip. 

Rey gaped incredulously at him. How could he have done that? The _one_ thing she had left of Han, aside from the _Falcon_. Though she could not see his face, she sensed it remained impassive. 

Where the saber had cut through the blaster, the metal was melting away from the lightsaber’s heat. She dropped it from the heat singeing her fingertips. Rey fumbled behind her for her staff, but a strong hand on her arm stopped her from doing any such thing. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” The mechanical rasp of his mask made her shudder, bringing back memories of her time on Starkiller Base. 

Yelling in rage, Rey brought her knee up to collide the bone with the place she imagined he didn’t much fancy being hit. He doubled over, releasing her from his grip but still managing to keep hold of his lightsaber. Narrowly escaping its dark energy, Rey spun and sprinted down the hallway.

**

Growling, Kylo rose. If she thought she could best him now, without a lightsaber, with underdeveloped Force abilities, she was wrong. He would not be shown up by her again. The Knights of Ren approached from behind, apparently having dealt with the guards. They were under strict orders not to harm the girl, or the queen. He didn’t have the patience to deal with those repercussions. Everyone else, they were quite at liberty to kill. Apparently that hadn’t meant the girl’s friends. 

He whirled on his knights. Two of them hauled the traitor and the Resistance pilot before Kylo, forcing them to their knees. He wasn’t going to go through it with them again. He was there for just one purpose. There was no time to have them taken into custody too. 

Kylo glanced at his knights. “Find her.” 

They dutifully obeyed, leaving the two prisoners to his judgement. Finn and Poe – that was their names, he thought – scowled up at him. There wasn’t even a hint of fear in their eyes. 

Finn snarled at him. “If you so much as touch her, I swear to the Maker I will…” 

He didn’t have time to finish that sentence before Kylo put him in a Force sleep. Poe tried to rise before he was treated to the same fate. He wanted nothing more than to run them both through with his lightsaber, but somehow he doubted that would earn him the girl’s trust. 

Turning, he left them sprawled on the floor and followed his knights. 

**

Rey hadn’t gotten far. The palace was more of a labyrinth than the Resistance base. Somehow she’d ended up in the higher levels of the palace, stranded in an isolated corridor that, based on the décor, she assumed led to the queen’s personal chambers. 

Heavy footsteps pounded behind her. _Kriff… Kriff, kriff, kriff!_ She was powerless, helpless. She was going to die and had no way of stopping it. She would never finish her training, she would never fulfil her vow, she would never have a _family_. 

Tears started to flood down her cheeks as the six Knights of Ren appeared at the end of the hallway. In one last desperate attempt, she wrestled her staff from across her body and into her hands. If she had anything to say about it, she would go down fighting. 

They stormed down the corridor towards her. Rey held her ground, refusing to show any weakness, though her vision was blurred by her tears. Fear pounded in her heart, shaking through her whole body. Her hands shook but her grip remained firm. 

The first knight that reached her was shrouded by a hood large enough to conceal any features she might have been able to identify. He put away his weapon and reached for her. Bad move, she internally growled and brought her staff up to collide with his abdomen. Then, remembering her impromptu lesson, she spun and slammed the other end into his neck. He fell to his knees, making way for another knight to take his place. 

The second was extremely familiar, though she only had a fleeting glance of him before. His mask was even more unusual than Kylo’s, with a sort of grate at over the nose and mouth to allow him to breathe. The top was a peculiar disc shape. Like his master, he was clad in all black and carried a Force-enhanced weapon. If Rey were to take a guess, it appeared to be a cross between a bat and a lightsaber, with only a few vents allowing the red light to escape from within. 

He didn’t waste any time. Charging at her, he lifted the weapon behind his head to swing it down in a vicious arc. Rey stumbled, her feet giving way, almost as if to delay the blow. Her staff skidded out of her hands across the floor. She squeezed her eyes shut and imagined the island. The island in her dreams. The island he now knew too. 

But the blow never came. The hiss of a lightsaber came too close to Rey for comfort and the scream that resonated after it sent chills down her spine. Her eyes snapped open to reveal the knight with a red, cross-guard lightsaber impaled through his chest. 

The sparking blade was removed moments later. The knight crumpled to the ground, a gaping hole now burnt through his middle. Rey scurried away from him and onto her feet. The figure holding the lightsaber before her was the other half of her head. 

Kylo Ren had saved her life. 

Just like in her vision. 

She stared at him incredulously. Her vision had shown her many inexplicable things, but she had never once considered that her enemy would actually kill one of his own to save her life. What she felt from him was odd. There was no derision, no regret. Nothing at all. He really didn’t care that he’d just run his comrade through with his lightsaber. 

His mask turned to her and the feeling changed. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, and she didn’t have time because he started moving towards her. Though she now knew he wasn’t going to kill her, she still turned and ran, grabbing her staff in the process. Whatever it was he wanted with her, he wasn’t going to get it easily. 

The hallway was longer than it seemed. Her legs carried her quickly, but they were tiring quickly too. A fleeting glance over her shoulder saw him motioning to his knights to remain there while he pursued her. Then he took off after her. 

She skidded through one of the doors. They opened on to a large circular room, presumably the queen’s personal parlour judging by the vast array of sofas and chaises. One half of the room was open to the cool air blowing in from the lake below. 

Whirling, she threw the doors closed behind her and ran for the edge of the room, close to the balcony. Rey’s eyes desperately searched around for a weapon, anything she could use against him. When the thunder of footsteps came from behind the door, she willed all of her Force strength to the surface. She put her full power into keeping the door closed. But with her exhaustion and incomplete training, her abilities were weaker than his. 

The doors burst open under his hand. He prowled in; a predator assessing his prey. Rey wondered how long she could remain a fellow predator. 

Shooting her hands out in all directions, she tossed various objects in his direction. All of which he tore in half with his lightsaber, advancing anyway. Opting for larger items, like the red chaise beside her, she desperately continued her onslaughts. 

Rey’s feet took her backwards until her back hit the stone balcony. Running out of options was something she would have the misfortune of soon. Only two ideas occurred to her now: she could either allow herself to be captured… Or she could jump. 

Realising he had her cornered, Kylo sauntered forward, clicking off his lightsaber. Her staff would be of use now, but she still knew very little advanced combat. She doubted the meagre blows she could inflict would do much against him. 

She couldn’t. She _wouldn’t_ be taken back to that interrogation chair. She wouldn’t be reminded of who he really was, not who she had recently come to identify. She wouldn’t be given reason to break her promise to Leia. _Never again._

What she did next was both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid. Clambering onto the balcony, Rey took one look back at him. Her thoughts to him had been loud and clear, and so he hurried to grab her before she could fall. But he was too late. 

She plunged into the depths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just leave that ending there.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long!


	6. Dead In The Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happened after Rey jumped?
> 
> Time to find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and kudos-ing and commenting! I can't believe all the love I'm getting! Sixty portions for each and every one of you. 
> 
> Thank you for waiting patiently too. There have been some issues with planning, but it looks like I'm back on track. I know it's a pain, but I want to make this work as good as I can for you all!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Water plunged into her lungs the moment she hit the surface. Her body went limp as the impact shook through her limbs. For a moment, she allowed herself to be dragged under, strangely finding peace in the lake’s soft waves. 

Her paradise was cut short when she realised she couldn’t swim. She had never learned, of course. And now she was drowning. 

Her lungs burned as they were starved of oxygen. She tried to thrash in the water, but it only shoved her deeper. Agony lanced through her head as her veins filled up with more and more water. She spluttered; coughing, choking, desperately sucking in any last bubbles of air. 

What had been the point? 

She had escaped one death only to embrace another.

**

Kylo Ren looked upon Rey’s plunging body in horror. Her terrified scream ripped right through him. When her figure hit the water, he lunged for the balcony, searching for any sign of her. His lungs were scorched, the fire eating up his insides. Just as hers were being devoured. 

Was this really what she thought of him? Would she really rather die than go with him? Kylo realised he’d overestimated her attitude towards him since the bond formed. He had actually believed she was willing to understand him, to _know_ him. He had felt her vow as she made it. _For Skywalker, for General Organa, for Han Solo,_ she had said. She had promised them she would try her best to see the good in him and bring him back to his family. Though he would never allow for such a thing to happen, no matter how much Snoke beat him, he had believed she was willing to give him a chance. 

Now it was clear he had been wrong. 

_You’re a monster,_ she had spat at him. He had never believed her. Until now. 

Black spots danced in his vision as his lungs contracted. She was dying. And he would feel every second of it. The tether in his mind was splintering, shredding the freshly healed hole in his conscience. He didn’t care if she hated him. He wouldn’t go back to that loneliness. 

And if she died, Snoke would make damn sure so would he. 

Kylo stripped off his mask and outer robes. He considered just leaving them there, but he knew he couldn’t re-enter the palace. The guards would have tripled by now. There was no doubt his knights had dealt with at least half of them already, but no amount of power could hold them all off forever. 

His gloves and outer robes didn’t matter. He had plenty of those to spare. His mask and cowl, however, were in short supply. To be exact, they were limited to just the one. So he wrapped his cowl around his helmet swiftly and tossed it onto the lake shore. Thankfully it landed just out of reach of the lake’s steady waves. 

Strapping his lightsaber to his belt, Kylo took a running leap off the edge of palace. 

Flying and falling really were two different things. When you flew, the air supported your weight, whipping around your limbs, carrying you forward. When you fell, the air slammed into you like a brick wall. 

Kylo barely felt it as he fought to angle his body right. He hit the water in a graceful dive, plunging under and up to the surface. Glancing frantically around, he searched for any indication of where she had gone under. The black spots were getting bigger with every second, his throat getting tighter the harder he tried to breathe. 

There. 

Rey’s staff lay floating amongst the waves. He had never understood her attachment to it. She felt lost whenever it wasn’t within easy reach. It had helped her to survive on that scorching planet she called home. It had been her only lifeline when she had nothing, no-one, to lean on. _So lonely…_

Out of all the things he had seen in her mind that day, the image of those five thousand scratch marks was the one that stuck in his memory the most. So long she had waited. Waited for her family, for somewhere to belong. Waited for someone she could call home. 

With his uncle, she thought she had found that belonging. But not a home. 

He wondered if she knew he sought the same thing. 

Kylo sank beneath the surface, sucking in whatever air he had left. Swimming had never been his strong suit, but he shoved himself forward anyway. Rey had gone limp, sinking to the bottom of lake. Tiny pockets of air escaped her nostrils as her eyes drifted closed. Her normally pale lips were turning bluer by the second. 

She was close to death. He could feel it. _“Don’t you dare!”_

He reached her with only moments to spare. Wrapping one strong arm around her waist, Kylo hauled them both to the surface. Despite her dead weight, she was still as light as he remembered. All muscle and bone. 

The shore wasn’t far away. He pulled her tight to his chest as he swam for the water’s edge, making sure to keep her head above the water. As he passed, he grabbed her staff and dragged it along with them. He couldn’t imagine how angry she would be if she lost that. 

When he was able to set his feet on the lake’s floor, he strapped the staff across his back and curled his spare arm under her legs. There was something so natural about carrying her this way. The day they first met, he could have slung her over his shoulder or even ordered a Stormtrooper to carry her for him. When she had collapsed into his arms, however, he couldn’t have been anything but gentle with her. 

She began to stir in his arms, the Force inside her already beginning its healing process. Such a miracle could never occur in him, only those who shone as brightly as she did. Even his uncle didn’t share the healing gift she possessed. 

Laying her softly on the gravel shore, he placed her staff close by her. He leaned over her then, keeping one hand steady underneath her neck. He wasn’t going to have to do CPR on her, was he? 

“Rey?” Kylo opened her mouth with his thumb and checked her pulse. It was steadily thrumming, getting stronger and stronger. “Come on, wake up.” 

Eventually, her chest heaved and she choked out the water that resided in her lungs. The pain in his head receded as she drew in gulps of air. Her eyes flickered open and instantly focused on him, halting her recovery. 

For a second, the world seemed to stop. Like in their dream. They stared at each other, neither moving but both feeling Naboo slip away from around them. What _was_ this?

Her fingers lifted and he moved her staff closer to her hand. She ignored it, instead bringing them up to rest against his face. No. Against his scar. The scar she had given him. 

Pain flooded her eyes. It was the first time she had seen what she had done to him. Whenever they had talked, he had kept that image out of his consciousness. Kylo couldn’t decide whether that was because he didn’t want to upset her, or if he wanted her to see it for real. 

Rey didn’t seem to realise just who’s face she was touching because her fingers kept skimming the edge of his jaw, horrified by the rough, raised line of skin there. Then her eyes met his. 

Her fingers jumped away, both palms shoving him away from her. She scrambled away from him, grabbing her staff and stumbling away. Kylo watched her incredulously as she stormed away.

**

Kylo Ren had saved her. Twice. 

_Is he really that stupid?_ Rey snarled to herself. _Doesn’t he realise that the more he saves me, the longer I stay alive? The more opportunity I have to kill him._

She wouldn’t do that. She knew she wouldn’t kill him. Though it was nice to fantasise about it every now and again. 

Rey didn’t understand why she was so enraged. She should have been grateful. He had saved _her life_. Either she was reverting back to her primitive, Jakku survival instincts, or being this close to him was making his traits merge with hers. 

She was wandering aimlessly now. Heading towards the palace meant she was going in the right direction, but it was no use if she couldn’t find a way back up. If she could just find Poe and Finn, they could get the _Falcon_ and get back to D’Qar before... 

A mechanical hiss sounded behind her. Whirling, she was confronted with the mask. The mask she hated more than the man underneath. Those fathomless eyes stared out at her from beneath the cowl, shielding his true face. That strong, gentle face with that sickening scar slashed across it. 

“Why?” She snapped. Confusion flooded across the bond, though his countenance betrayed nothing. “Why did you save me?” 

“The Supreme Leader has use for you. I am to bring you to him.” The rasp of the mask cut through her like glass. Her fears had been right. It had been to satisfy his own agenda, to keep Snoke off his back. But something about his rigid form told her that was only part of the truth. 

“You know I’ll never go with you.” 

“I don’t need your permission.” He waved his hand and her world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. It's very short. But it's just the resolution of the previous chapter. The next one will be much longer I promise.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! Don't forget to let me know what you thought!


	7. All In My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's been taken against her will, and she isn't best pleased about it.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for being so patient with me. And thank you so much for your continued support. I am so honoured to have such wonderful readers! 
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

The gentle shaking of his shoulder woke Finn from his Force-induced sleep. 

“Hey,” A voice, deep and warm, whispered frantically into his ear. “Hey, come on. Wake up.” 

Finn lifted himself on aching arms, turning his head only to find himself looking into Poe’s eyes. Their faces were mere inches apart, their lips just moments from… 

Finn shook himself, suddenly reminded of where they were. Poe remained unfazed as he grasped the younger man’s arm and hauled him upright, steadying him with a hand on his chest. “We have to find Rey.” 

Rey! He had almost forgotten about Rey, about his best friend. _How could you forget about her, you idiot!_

Taking off with Poe at his side, Finn raced down the hallway, following the stench of burning flesh. The source of that smell was soon to be discovered by the Resistance fighters as they advanced onto the higher levels. 

A body lay strewn across the marble floor, blood spilling from the hole in his chest. It was a Knight of Ren. Killed by a lightsaber. Finn’s brow furrowed in confusion as Poe gagged at the smell. If he had been struck down by a lightsaber, either Rey had gotten her hands on her pursuer’s, or the knight had been killed by his own master. 

That didn’t make any sense. Sure, Rey had told him about her vision back on Takodana. About how she had seen their nemesis plunge his saber into his comrade’s back – out of habit, he was sure. But what would give him cause to do it now? 

Finn didn’t have time to mull it over. “Finn…” Poe was stood near the window, eyes fixated. When the pilot turned to him, Finn saw nothing but fear. “I think you should come and see this.” 

Cautiously approaching the window, déjà vu hit him. _Not again._ Finn prayed that she was asleep. He could never find the strength to accept a far worse truth. Because there she was, lying limp in the arms of Kylo Ren as he carried her onto his ship. 

**

Rey woke to the thud of Stormtrooper boots. _No,_ she thought, _Not here._ Could he really have been that cruel? Could he really have dragged her back to that chair?

_He’s not who you see in his mind._

When she tried to get up, however, there were no clamps holding her in place. Instead, she was lying on a cold metal slab wrapped in a thin blanket. Rey wrestled herself out of the material and stood. It was a small cell. Just enough room for a bed and what could only be described as a child’s desk, with a small refresher off to one side. No shower, much to her dismay. She had become quite fond of showers, having taken at least three in the day she’d been back on D’Qar. But her disappointment melted away when she saw her staff leant against the wall. 

Sat atop the desk was a small plate with a crust of bread and a few small rations of meat. Did he really think that was funny? Giving her the only food she had eaten for over ten years. 

She was about to push the plate away when her stomach gave a warning growl. It had been at least two days since her last proper meal. If she were going to get out of there, she couldn’t afford to be picky. 

Surprisingly, she found that she had been left with a small offering of butter and jam. She smiled a bit before spreading them over the bread and shoving a piece of meat into her mouth. It was delicious. Nothing like the tasteless rations on Jakku. 

Rey inhaled the meagre rations, sitting cross-legged on her cot. With every bite, she could feel herself getting stronger. Being stuck under water had certainly taken it out of her. Even with being saved, she had no idea how she had managed to survive. 

She shuddered at the memory of waking up to his face. It was just like she remembered, only now with a thick red scar running from the bottom left of his jaw, over the bridge of his nose and ending just above his right eyebrow. From what she had seen, it had even partially extended onto his shoulder. 

Seeing him like that, without the mask, made him look vulnerable. Not innocent. Not breakable. Just exposed, like she could see who he truly was. Who he hid behind that cold exterior. It shook her to think that perhaps he really wasn’t so cruel. 

She couldn’t comprehend why she had felt so compelled to touch that scar. The scar she had given him in a moment of rage. A moment of weakness. 

It had been rough under her fingertips but it had not marred his features. It made him seem younger somehow. More like the boy Luke had told her about. The boy she had imagined running after Luke, tugging his Jedi robes, desperate to become his uncle. The boy with so little restraint. And so much to answer for. 

Rey’s musings were cut short when the door suddenly slid open. She jumped up, hand immediately closing around her staff. The plate of food, now little more than crumbs, clattered to the floor. The figure who strode in would hardly care. 

Kylo Ren stood before her, clad all in black, his outer robes and mask back in place. She had forgotten just how tall he was. A skyscraper to her little hut. He towered over her small frame, close enough in the small quarters that he had to look down at her. 

The bond had been closed off since he had pulled her from the water, but now with their close proximity, it was difficult not to feel it. 

“Did you enjoy your meal?” 

_So that’s how this is going to go._

“Better than I expected.” She retorted, moving her staff to a less threatening position. Here – wherever ‘here’ was – she doubted he would try anything. “Where am I? And don’t say I’m your guest again.”

She swore she could feel him smiling behind the mask. “ _The Finalizer._ A Resurgent-class Star Destroyer. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?” 

“Hard not to when you’re constantly going on about how much you hate living here.” 

He said nothing to that, choosing instead to focus his attention on her staff. Her fingers tightened on grip, eyeing him wearily. He wouldn’t dare take her staff from her. 

Kylo must have felt her suspicion because he chuckled. “If I were going to take it from you, I wouldn’t have left it in this cell for you.” 

Rey relaxed a little. “Then stop admiring it.” 

“Did you make it yourself?” 

Surprised, Rey glanced from her staff to the knight before her. “What?” 

“Did you make it?” He asked again. His voice was eerily calm, casual. “Since you lived alone on Jakku, surrounded by all those spare parts, I assume you made many of your commodities yourself.” 

Was he actually trying to make conversation? Or trying to delay the inevitable? 

“No,” She said, trying to keep her voice equally as calm. “I bartered it from a merchant passing through when I was twelve. The strap and grip guards are all my own work.” 

He nodded in appreciation before turning back to her. “Your training begins tomorrow morning.” 

“My training?” Rey was incredulous. He couldn’t really expect to teach her just like that. Unless _he_ wasn’t going to do it… 

Shaking, she sank down onto the edge of her cot. Kylo knelt in front of her, careful not to touch her. “Snoke wishes to meet you, but he won’t be training you. The Supreme Leader agrees that after training with Skywalker, it would be too much of a change to start immediately under his tutelage.” 

“I didn’t think he trusted you anymore.” She laughed half-heartedly. 

“Apparently I have earned that trust back.” _By bringing me here._

“I thought I said I didn’t want to be your student.” Her voice turned hard and cold. 

“I don’t want to learn from you. I will not betray Master Luke.” 

Kylo bristled at his uncle’s name, rising away from her. “You will not be learning the dark side. Not yet. First, you have to master the basics.” 

“I won’t ever be learning the dark side.” She growled. 

“We’ll see.” 

**

The Resistance base was in chaos. 

Everybody had heard about Rey’s capture. The moment Finn and Poe had arrived, they had scampered to the control room and frantically told General Organa and her brother about what they had seen. The Jedi Master had uttered a string of curses while the general relayed the message across the base. 

Within moments everyone knew, from Admiral Ackbar to even the janitorial staff. D’Qar was abuzz with the news. All the high-ranking officers were in the control room soon enough, ready to discuss their next move. If Rey knew what a fuss they were making over her, she would be furious. 

Finn’s best friend thought herself to be unimportant. Unremarkable and not worthy of such attention. But she was the most powerful Force-user the galaxy had seen in decades. She would be the one to save them all. That’s why they needed to get her back. 

“Forget the Stormtrooper Academy. Forget finding Snoke’s base. Forget everything. Our number one priority now is retrieving Rey.” Leia was stood at the head of table, hands curled into fists against the surface. Finn hadn’t seen her this tense since their arrival from Takodana. 

“We don’t even know where she is, general. How do you suggest we retrieve her?” Captain Snap Wexley said from the other side of the table. 

“He has her,” Finn interjected. Everyone turned to look at him. They had listened to his and Poe’s story intently but by this point, they had gotten sick of his interruptions. “Kylo Ren has her.” 

“We know that, Master Finn.” Major Ematt sighed. 

“Which means that she is on _The Finalizer_ , the First Order’s Star Destroyer. I don’t know much about Snoke’s base, but I heard it was a mobile base, too small for the entire First Order to reside there. And the Stormtrooper Academy is too out of the way for their base. Their only logical place to house their main operations is that Destroyer. She has to be there.” 

Leia smiled, proud of him. The general had become quite fond of him these past months, being the first to suggest he learn to become a pilot. 

Major Ematt nodded and said, “That’s a good point. However, we cannot attack the Destroyer. It is far too heavily armed for what little we have left after Starkiller Base.” 

“What would the First Order even want with Rey? If they were going to kill her, Ren would have done that on Naboo.” Admiral Ackbar chimed in. 

Everyone silenced for a moment, considering. Their eyes all wandered toward Leia, who had stiffened at the mention of her son’s name. Finn leaned close – or closer – to Poe sitting next to him and whispered, “Does everyone know he’s her son?” 

Poe quietly chuckled and leaned in, his lips almost brushing Finn’s ear, “Worst kept secret in the Resistance. Everyone knows. Nobody talks about it.” 

Master Luke, who sat in the shadows overseeing the meeting, suddenly stood. Attention shifted from the general to her brother as he approached. “He doesn’t want to kill her. We know that for a fact.” 

Finn’s brow furrowed. How could they be so sure? 

Apparently everyone else was wondering the same thing because they waited for him to elaborate. Luke turned to Leia, a question in his eyes, to which Leia responded with a curt nod. Taking a deep breath, Luke began, “My Padawan shares something called a Force bond with Kylo Ren. This is an ancient, rare connection that has not existed for many decades, possibly even centuries. It allows them to see into each other’s heads, experience the other’s presences – both physical and emotional. This bond becomes so embedded into who a Force-user is that if it were to be ripped away, it would be like dying. Kylo Ren will not kill Rey, because he cannot kill himself.” 

Finn gaped. A _what_? And he was only thinking to tell them this now? More to the point, why hadn’t Rey told him? 

Poe was equally shocked. The commander rose, gripping the table for support, as he tried to comprehend the new information. “So you’re saying that Rey can see into our enemy’s head? She knows where he is at all times, knows what he’s doing. With all due respect, that is valuable information. Information we could have used against the First Order!”

“I understand that, commander,” Leia’s stern voice made Poe sink down into his chair. “But my brother and I were not aware of this bond until a few days ago. Rey, we don’t think, wasn’t even aware for a long while. It was a massive shock to her to learn that she shared this connection. A _forbidden_ connection, in her eyes. Can you blame her for being anxious to share it?” 

No-one dared to challenge the general. 

“We are confident that no harm will come to Rey. But my nephew will attempt to train her in the ways of the dark side. If we do not liberate her soon, she may succumb.” Luke said gravely.

Rage shuddered through Finn. “How can you have so little faith in her?” His voice was low, dangerous. He wouldn’t have anyone, not even Rey’s master, insult her like that. 

“Because, Master Finn, it is extremely easy to fall to the dark side. Even for those with the purest of light inside them. When I was Rey’s age, I found it difficult to fight the dark side calling to me. She is stronger than I ever was, but she has much more anger and fear. If she resists, Rey will be the hero we already know her to be. If she falls… If she falls, we should all be afraid.”

**

Pacing the floor of his quarters, Kylo Ren deliberated the inevitable difficulties of teaching Rey. He knew she was powerful, but still largely untrained. He could outmatch her in a battle now, but her raw power would be unpredictable. She would be harder to teach restraint than even he was. 

Part of him didn’t want to teach her control. He wanted to prod her and push her, frustrate her and anger her until she lashed out, just to see what she could do. Though it would do him no good to push her. He would probably end up dead in the process. And after seeing what she had done, he had no doubt she would destroy herself. 

Snoke wanted him to teach her the basics: control, combat and the basic Force abilities. After that she would be turned over to him and the Supreme Leader would hone her into a weapon. 

Kylo bristled at the thought. What the Supreme Leader had made him was dangerous enough. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see how cold he could make her. 

To Kylo, that’s what made her unique. Her ability to be tough when she had to be, but warm and compassionate always. 

He pushed the thoughts away, storing them for another time. His eyes were drooping. Not sleeping for almost two days was not doing him any favours. Stripping down to his undergarments, he climbed into bed, waving a hand for the lights to dim. Since the nightmares had started up again, he couldn’t sleep in total darkness. 

_“A little ironic, don’t you think?”_ Rey’s voice flooded into his mind. 

_“Do you mind?”_ He growled. _“Some of us are trying to sleep.”_

_“Well I would be if this weren’t so damn uncomfortable.”_

He realised she was talking about the metal slab they dared to call a bed in her cell. Kylo had managed to acquire some spare blankets from the servant’s quarters to wrap her in. After being in the water, she had been shivering like she was on Hoth. 

_“Thank you, by the way.”_ She said softly. 

Kylo was taken aback. _“For what?”_

_“For the blankets,”_ Rey whispered. _“And for saving my life.”_

_“Your welcome,”_ He smirked a bit. _“Now go to sleep.”_

**

_Frost kissed her skin, melting away against the hot touch of her flesh. Her feet sunk into the snow as she danced forward and back. Two objects collided in front of her, hissing from the contact. One was a brilliant red, flaring off in all directions. The other was an ethereal blue, its silver hilt gripped in her hands._

_Through the bright lights flashing between them, Rey couldn’t clearly see her opponent. He was tall, clothed in black. His head was crowned in a dark halo of hair, framing his obsidian eyes. She knew him._

__Kylo Ren._ The name came to her like a whisper on the wind. The trees around them rustled, spectating their wonderful game of war. They weren’t fighting, though. They really were just playing._

_Her opponent was grinning, stretching that scar. It was paler now, more faded. Like something was causing it to heal. Rey found herself grinning back as she met each swing of his lightsaber with hers._

_When one swing came too low for her liking, she caught hold of his wrist, pushing it down so his saber singed the snow. Trying to bring her own lightsaber down upon his, Rey found herself trapped in the vice of his hand. They struggled like this for a moment, every stretch of their arms bringing them closer together._

_Kylo moved his feet forward, forcing her back. She allowed him to push her until she collided with something rough. The bark of a tree. Her eyes met his. They bore into her, the smile gone and replaced with something much more feral. Her teeth dug into her lower lip as her grip loosened on her lightsaber._

_Her opponent smirked. He leaned in…_

_No! No, she didn’t want this. So why was every instinct inside her telling her that she did?_

_Involuntarily, her eyes fluttered closed, her head tilting up to meet his. Almost there. Almost…_

_The dream melted away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, chapter seven is done. I can't believe how far I'm getting with this.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to let me know what you thought.


	8. The Little Things Give You Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Force ghosts! Yay!
> 
> Rey starts her training with Kylo, but of course it doesn't go smoothly.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kudos and lovely comments. I feel so blessed! I would also like to thank you all for your patience. It's not easy to write for such a wonderful audience. I just want to make it perfect for you guys!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Snow flashed through his mind. Snow shining red and blue. Snow melting on hot skin as two bodies fought against each other – fought against their own desires. 

Kylo Ren growled at the images. He couldn’t shove them out, no matter how much he tried. They were far too real for his liking. 

Snoke hadn’t told him much about where the dreams were coming from, but he knew enough about the Force to guess. The energy that flowed through all living things revealed itself in strange ways. From a young age, it had presented itself in him through an exceptional affinity at reading people’s thoughts. In her, it showed itself in a rare excellence at mind control and healing. Together, it came through the bond. Through the dreams. 

The Force had a tendency to hint at the future to those it blessed with its presence. Kylo didn’t believe for a second that the battle in the snow would repeat itself. But it unnerved him to think that he and Rey might share such a moment elsewhere. 

Stormtroopers marched past as he thundered down the hallways towards the cells. He thanked the Maker that they couldn’t hear his thoughts the way he could hear theirs. Only fleeting images and sounds, but enough to know they were terrified of his dark looming form. 

Ever since he could remember, he had been able to see what people were thinking without meaning to. He’d seen just how much people loved him as a child – and just how terrified they were when he got older. The only ones he couldn’t read without forcing himself inside their minds were other Force users. 

Kylo thanked the Maker for that too. He doubted he wanted to see what horrors Snoke’s mind conjured up. 

As he turned into the hallway where Rey was kept, Kylo steeled himself. He wouldn’t mention the dream. He would even close the bond so she couldn’t see that his thoughts never wavered from it. 

She was his enemy. She would always be his enemy. But... 

She was his apprentice now. The other half of his consciousness. And it was only a matter of time before she became his ally, maybe his friend. 

_You have compassion for her._ The Supreme Leader’s voice boomed through his head. The thought had been preposterous when Snoke had first said it. Now, though… 

Kylo couldn’t hurt her. He had saved her life when it would have been easier to let that thorn in his side drown. He cared for her, against his better judgement, and part of him wanted to believe she returned the sentiment. 

Rey’s cell was at the end of the hall, guarded by two Stormtroopers. Kylo almost laughed at that. If she wanted to, Rey could have easily manipulated these troopers into leaving their stations and setting her free. Hux was an idiot if he thought this was all the security she needed. 

Kylo waved the troopers off. They each gave a respectful nod before marching off down the hallway. He watched them go and the moment they rounded the corner, Kylo inputted the code into the keypad beside the door. It slid open with a hiss. 

Rey was sat on her cot, back straight against the wall and eyes fixed ahead. She didn’t move as the door opened, didn’t even look up as he entered. In fact, she looked like she’d seen a ghost. Or lost her mind. 

It disturbed him to see her like this. He cleared his throat and her eyes snapped to him. No other part of her body shifted, just those hazel eyes. Eyes that bore so much pain, too much wisdom for such a young person. She wasn’t just a survivor. She was a fighter. 

“It’s time.” 

** 

Why did it always end like that? 

Rey had woken from her dream two hours before, but she still couldn’t come to terms with it. She hated herself in those dreams. Hated that she couldn’t control her own actions. Like the Force bond was telling her what she wanted. 

Over the last couple of weeks, Rey had come to acknowledge that Kylo Ren was not the cold-hearted enemy she had previously recognised. That perhaps he was worthy of his family’s hopes, of her vow to bring him home. 

And while she believed she could achieve that far easier being able to physically interact with him, Rey knew that what her dreams were showing her was definitely not what she wanted. 

The door to her cell slid open, revealing her new “master”. _Ugh,_ she thought, _I’ll never get used to that._ Rey didn’t deign to look at him. She knew she looked like a zombie, staring intently at the wall. But she didn’t care. The last thing in the galaxy she wanted to do was speak to him. 

He had brought her here against her will. He believed he was just going to train her, with her consent or not. He might have saved her and given her blankets, but that didn’t change that he had _kidnapped_ her. _Again._

She would fight him every step of the way. She wouldn’t make it easy for him. And in the end, she would drag his arrogant arse back to his mother if she had to. 

Kylo cleared his throat. Fighting the urge to snort, she fixed her eyes on him. He was still wearing that gods-damned mask. She swore that once she got him out of it, she would drop it in the sinking fields of Jakku. 

“It’s time.” 

Rey didn’t reply. Strapping her staff across her back, she shoved past him through the door and stormed off down the hallway. She wouldn’t try anything, he knew that. It wouldn’t be worth it. She’d get two steps on this Destroyer and a Stormtrooper would be holding a blaster to her head. 

At the end of the hallway, Rey didn’t turn to see if Kylo was following her. His footsteps were closing in behind her and before he could reach her, she turned right, ready to storm ahead once again. 

“It’s the other way.” Kylo’s voice was bordering on a chuckle. 

Rey spun and marched in the other direction. “I hate you.” She grumbled as she passed his towering form, one gloved hand pointing to the left. 

“I know.”

**

The training room was enormous. Despite herself, Rey appraised it with awe. The chamber was vast and hollow, with even her quiet, cushioned footsteps echoing. Training mats adorned the floor, all of which bore the scars of years of brutality. Some were even scorched at the corners. 

One end of the room was lined with targets. She raised an eyebrow at Kylo’s back as he shut the door behind them. This was his personal training room. The only Stormtroopers that came in here were the ones he ordered to spar with him. Shrugging, she supposed even he had to learn how to shoot a blaster. 

The other end was a makeshift gym, with weights, bars hanging from the ceiling and even punching bags. She imagined Kylo working out in here. It would have been innocent if he hadn’t been shirtless. Shirtless and incredibly toned. 

_Just the bond. Just the bond messing with your head._

She was glad he had shut her out now. 

“Alright,” He finally said. “Let’s see what you can do.” 

Rey turned to him. Lingering by the door, Kylo watched intently as she manoeuvred her staff into her hands, settling into a fighting stance. 

He held a hand out in front of him. “I meant Force-wise.” 

“Oh,” Her face fell. If there had been anything she was looking forward to, it was knocking Kylo on his backside again. 

She searched around her, looking for something to move. There were stashes of training equipment pushed to the sides: wooden staffs, blasters and sabers. She considered, but moving the staffs wouldn’t be anything impressive to him and moving the others would be downright dangerous. 

Instead, she shot her hand towards the array of weights, focusing on one of the heaviest ones. It juddered for a moment but lifted anyway. Rey shifted her arm sideways, towards Kylo, gesturing for the weight to follow. But she moved too quickly. 

The weight flew directly at Kylo’s head. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she watched him duck, the weight soaring over him and smashing into the wall. If he had been any slower… well at least she wouldn’t have had to dispose of his helmet. 

Kylo straightened, his rigid posture returning. From what little she could feel bleeding through the cracks of the steel shutters he had put up, he wasn’t angry. In fact, he was amused. 

“Skywalker really didn’t teach you a lot, did he?” 

Anger rattled through her though she knew he was right. In the last six months, she had learned little more than how to meditate and focus her mind. But it gave him no right to insult her. 

Rey slammed through the barriers he’d put around his mind, invading his head the way he once had invaded hers. She barrelled through, trying to poke at as many memories as she could. Images of a snowy forest, a burning desert town, a child on his knees with trembling lips. She didn’t bother looking at them, didn’t want to see all the horrors. At least she didn’t until she came upon a door locked and bolted more tightly than any other. 

She pounded on the barrier, but it barely made a dent. Glimpses flooded through in the wake of those scratches, showing her a boy with big brown eyes and ears too big for his face. A boy grinning at a model X-Wing, sitting on his father’s shoulders, arguing with a giant Wookiee about a game she couldn’t see. A boy with so much power that they cowered away from him, staring at him as though he were the devil incarnate. Jealous eyes, cruel eyes, frightened eyes. No love at all. 

Kylo’s consciousness tried to shove her out, pleading with her to retreat. 

_“You’re no better than Snoke.”_

Rey drew back as though he had hit her. The lapse in her strength allowed Kylo to push her out and back into her own body. She fell backwards from the force of it, tears stinging in her eyes. What had she done? 

Kylo was seething, his body quivering with rage. She wondered if he would hurt her, kill her this time. Part of her told her she deserved it. She hadn’t hurt him physically the way Snoke did, but she had no right to see that. 

He did no such thing. Instead, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the training room, leaving her breathless and trembling.

**

The metallic tang of burning electrics filtered through the mask, almost as overwhelming as the roaring in his ears. The entire deck had silenced when they heard his screaming. It was louder than ever, even muffling the strike of his lightsaber against the wall outside his chambers. 

Why did she have to be so difficult? Why did she have to look there, where not even he dared to look anymore. What had she _seen_? 

Snoke’s orders had been simple. He was to train her. At first, he’d thought the most difficult part would be getting her to listen to him, not her fighting back. Not her taking revenge for what he had once done to her. 

She deserved vengeance for that intrusion. An invasion he regretted. Seeing that loneliness, that powerlessness… that _hope_ that someone would come for her and she wouldn’t be so alone anymore. It had almost driven him mad. It surprised him that she hadn’t already lost all sanity. 

But she never should have seen that. She never should have been able to break through his defences, the way she had since the moment they’d met. He hated her more and more the closer she got. Hated himself for the knowledge that he could never despise her the way he wanted to. 

Rey, he had no doubt, would try to understand him better with those new images inside her head. She would write her vow anew, promise to return those memories back to his conscious, back to his family. 

Why didn’t she understand that he couldn’t go back? He didn’t want to go back. He had left that life behind far too long ago to return. Those memories, that boy he had been – they were his weakness, his greatest fear. 

Kylo clicked off his lightsaber and stormed into his chambers, throwing the weapon onto the couch. For a moment, he just stood there, unsure of what to do. He had just left her there, almost in tears on the floor. On the way back, he had growled at some of the dodging Stormtroopers to take her back to her cell. 

Her cell. Her cold, unforgiving cell. She would return there with no food and no comfort. Why did he even care? 

He wasn’t thinking straight, and when he couldn’t clear his mind, there was only one place he could go. Kylo waved his hand in front of him and a hidden door beside the refresher slid aside. It revealed a hollow chamber, spacious enough only for his large frame and a pedestal on top of which sat his grandfather’s mask. 

It was strange even to him that he would keep such a haunting object. After being hidden from his legacy his entire life, however, it only seemed right to keep his grandfather’s spirit alive. 

Sitting before it, Kylo folded his hands in his lap. He stared at the bottomless eyes of the mask before him, at the melted and disfigured metal. For the first time, he found he had nothing to say. 

He sighed, about to rise when a voice called to him. “Ben?” 

Kylo’s head darted up. No-one called him that. No-one on the ship even knew that was his real name. No-one but Rey, and it certainly wasn’t her voice. 

Beside his grandfather’s mask, surrounded by an ethereal blue glow, stood a young man. He must have been no older than Kylo himself, with shoulder-length brown hair and crystal blue eyes. He recognised those eyes. His uncle’s eyes. 

The man was dressed in traditional Jedi robes, a lightsaber at his waist. That lightsaber… 

Anakin Skywalker. 

“Grandfather?” Kylo’s voice was barely a whisper, disbelief coursing through him. He had never seen a Force ghost before, had never believed they were even real. His uncle had told him stories about the ghosts, but cynical as Kylo had always been, he had thought they were just fairy tales. 

“Take off that mask. You don’t need it.” Anakin ordered. 

Kylo could barely breathe. He’d heard those words before. On a bridge long since destroyed. So much pain, so much loss. If only he could hear that voice one last time. 

He didn’t defy the Jedi before him, nothing like the Sith Lord he had envisioned. Snoke had told him how Darth Vader had returned to the light to save his son. That it had been a moment of weakness on his grandfather’s part. Kylo had always believed that, but this was not Darth Vader before him. It was Anakin: Jedi, husband, _father_. 

Reaching up, Kylo unlocked the clasps of his mask and pulled it off. Anakin’s reaction was nothing short of shock. For the first time, he would see his grandson. See the monster he had become. 

“Ben Solo. Look how you’ve grown!” Anakin grinned. “Obi Wan would be proud.” 

_I doubt that._

“I don’t.” 

Kylo gaped at him incredulously. Could he actually _hear_ him? 

“Well, of course I can.” Anakin grinned, unnerving Kylo even more. “I am a Force ghost, Ben. I can see and hear everything.” 

“Stop calling me that.” 

Disapproval furrowed across Anakin’s brow. “But that is your name, is it not? Ben Solo. I like it much better than the Kylo Ren masquerade you hide behind.” 

“I thought you would prefer my name now, prefer _me_ as I am now.” Kylo countered, desperate for his grandfather not to say what he knew was coming. 

“Whatever gave you that idea?” Anakin glanced to the mask and shook his head. “I watched you growing up, Ben. You were going to become a wonderful Jedi, so powerful but so compassionate.” 

“But…” 

Anakin held up a hand. “Spare me your explanations. I know exactly what happened. I watched Snoke corrupt you and I could do nothing to stop it. I know what you have done. But I am proud of you anyway, as is your namesake. He told me so himself.” 

“How can you be proud of me?” Kylo muttered. This was not how his grandfather was supposed to be. He had been a Sith Lord, strong and feared by all. Nothing had stood in his way. 

His grandfather was supposed to say how wonderful a job he was doing following in his footsteps. He was supposed to give him reassurance that the light he felt tugging at his insides would be soon to leave. That whatever he felt for the scavenger was nothing but contempt. 

Not be an actual grandfather. 

“I turned to the dark side for your grandmother. And I lost everything in the process.” As if that were an answer. Kylo stayed silent, waiting for him to elaborate. Anakin placed a hand gently on his ruined mask. “I see what that girl is doing to you, Ben. You were not gifted with a Force bond without reason. She is kind and compassionate, just as you are. There is so much light in her, so much fire. She is rekindling that fire inside you.” 

Kylo grimaced 

Ignoring him, Anakin continued, “Everything you’re feeling… Don’t ignore it, Ben. The path you have chosen is not set in stone. And while I respect you for fighting for what you believe in, I think you and I both know that it isn’t truly what you believe in.” 

“And you know what that is, do you?” He snarled. He couldn’t bear what his grandfather was telling him. He couldn’t bear the truth of it all. 

“I know why you sent that warning to your mother.” 

“A foolish move. A coward’s move.” 

“A Jedi’s move.” 

Kylo looked up at his grandfather then. Anakin was smirking at him. _Arrogant bastard._ Rey would have said the same thing about him. 

“Just think about it.” And then he disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how will Kylo deal with that?! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Chapter nine, I regret to say, might take a bit longer, but hopefully it'll be worth it!   
> Don't forget to let me know what you thought (honestly please!)


	9. A Line In The Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's training continues ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say it at the beginning of every chapter, but thank you so much for reading and kudos-ing and commenting. But most of all for being so patient. You're all wonderful! 
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Rey tapped her foot impatiently against the metal floor. 

She couldn’t bear all this waiting. After her “master” had stormed out the training room, the only company she had was that of her thoughts and silent Stormtroopers. Staring at their helmets on the way back to her cell, all she could think about was Finn. Her best friend who would no doubt be screaming from the rooftops by now. 

Tears pricked in her eyes. Had he seen her jump into the lake? Seen her in the arms of the man he despised? Rey couldn’t imagine that kind of fear. 

Finn cared for her more than she wanted him to. More than she deserved. She and Poe were the first friends he’d ever had, the only ones to show him any kindness. It was a miracle she hadn’t done the same. 

Despite her affection for her friends, for Leia and Master Luke, she couldn’t picture herself feeling lost without them by her side. Years of isolation on a planet like Jakku had taught her to never get attached to anyone for too long. They usually ended up dead. 

The thought of the Resistance making her rescue their priority, even over defeating the First Order, brought bile to the recesses of her mouth. No-one – not even she, a highly Force-sensitive Jedi-to-be – was worthy of such attention. 

That night had passed slowly. There had been no dreams to contend with, to her relief, but sleep had still eluded her. The bond had been buzzing all night, his strongest emotions begging to get through the seal. Confusion, disbelief, rage and self-hatred. That last one rattled her the most. 

Now, with very little rest and a growling stomach, she sat restless on the edge of her bed, waiting for the day of inevitable awkward silence to begin. 

Rey wasn’t sure whether she should apologise for what she’d seen. The images she’d extracted were personal. But she felt she knew him better, if only a little. Seeing the boy he had been made it easier to imagine the man he could be. 

After an hour, it seemed like Kylo wasn’t coming. Not surprising given how angry he’d been. Part of Rey wished he’d come; she desperately wanted someone to talk to. Eventually, if he didn’t show, she would start talking to the walls. 

The door slid open with a sudden jolt. Rey scrambled to her feet, expecting the dark knight. Her shoulders slumped when two Stormtroopers walked in. 

“Let me guess,” She sighed, “He’s not coming?” 

The Stormtroopers were surprised at her forwardness but answered anyway, “Oh no, Miss, Master Ren is coming. He has requested you wear these.” 

Rey’s attention moved to the folds of material in one of the trooper’s arms. Training robes. _Black_ training robes. She snorted. “If he thinks I’m wearing them, then he’s more of an idiot than I thought he was.” 

The troopers exchanged a glance. She was sure that beneath their visors their eyes were wide. The one carrying the robes stammered, “But… Master Ren has demanded it.” 

_Wow. They really are scared of him._

Rey grinned defiantly. “And _I_ demand that you throw them in the incineration chamber.” 

“I am sorry, Miss,” said the other trooper, sounding genuinely apologetic, “but we do not take orders from you.” 

They placed the robes on the end of her cot and left. She watched them go, thinking how truly different her best friend was to those cowards. Huffing, she plonked herself on her cot. There was no way in the galaxy that she was going to wear black training robes. Her usual clothes would do just fine. 

Rey eyed the pile warily. Soon curiosity got the best of her and she was rooting through the clothes. She held up each garment, disgustedly throwing them away after examining each one. At least she did until she found the last piece. 

It was a cloak. Black, just like everything else, and made of thick cotton. She knew she shouldn’t like it, but she couldn’t resist running her fingers down the soft material. It came complete with a hood and a simple silver clasp. It was long enough that it would pool around her feet. _That can easily be remedied._

At the thought, she tossed the cloak away. She couldn’t wear it. It would be like accepting him as her new master. She couldn’t do that to Luke. 

Rey looked forlornly at the discarded garment, wishing it were any other colour, from anyone else. A frustrated sigh escaped her. She picked up the cloak, fixing its clasps and hung it from the edge of the open refresher door. The rest of the collection she folded on the edge of her cot. 

The door slipped open again, making Rey jump. She whirled, hands going instinctively for her staff. Only it wasn’t across her back like usual. It was several paces away against the adjacent wall. 

Upon seeing the visitor, however, she realised that lunging for it would be futile. 

Kylo Ren was stoic, standing rigid in the doorway. He observed her from behind that gods-damned mask, fists clenching at his sides. For a second, she wondered if he was imagining his fist around her throat, choking the air out of her lungs in recompense for the stunt she pulled. 

_“I can do that from standing right here.”_

He’d opened up the bond again then. Sometimes the difference was so subtle she barely noticed. Rey didn’t reply to his quip, only watched him as his gaze moved to the pile of clothes on her bed. He knew she wasn’t going to wear them. Irritation rippled through him and she smirked. There was nothing better than getting under his skin. 

Then he glanced at the cloak hanging from the door. The irritation melted into arrogance. Rey didn’t give him the chance to comment, grabbing her staff and standing before him. “Let’s go.” 

Kylo spun and led the way, closing the door behind them with a wave of his hand. Rey reluctantly followed, trying hard to keep up with his enormous strides. He took her down the same corridors as the previous morning. It didn’t take her long to memorise the way. A left turn at the end of the cell block, a right at the Stormtrooper’s mess hall, down the stairs, another right at the panel of flickering lights, a left, a right, a right, a left, left, right, left… 

“So what are we doing today?” She asked, trying to break the silence. 

“You’ll find out.” He grumbled. 

Rey snorted, sticking her tongue out at the back of his scarred helmet. The childish gesture prompted a few sniggers from passing troopers. She froze. Those troopers would likely end up with a few new holes in their armour. 

But Kylo didn’t react, either too busy ignoring her or too absorbed in his own troubled thoughts. Rey guessed at the latter given the confusion and frustration she felt leaking into her. She wondered what could possibly have left him so shaken. 

Whatever it was, he wasn’t showing her and she wasn’t about to pry. Repeating the day before probably wasn’t the best way to get on his good side. 

Was that really what she was trying to do? Trying to get on his good side so she could convince him to come home? Or was she going to fight him, force him to see the light? 

She supposed kindness and manipulation could come hand-in-hand. 

They reached the training room soon enough. Kylo ushered her in and locked the door behind them. Rey wandered into the middle of the room and sat down. She folded her legs beneath her, set her staff aside, and closed her eyes. 

After a moment, a different voice – undistorted and _human_ – broke her concentration. “What are you doing?” 

Rey opened her eyes, hoping the voice hadn’t been in her head. It wasn’t; he had indeed taken his mask off. _Finally,_ she thought. 

It was the first time she had been able to properly examine his face since Starkiller base. That moment on the beach had been a blur. Now her vision was clear and she could see every smooth line, every crevice, every inch of that horrific scar. 

Her heart gave an involuntary flip. He really was beautiful. It didn’t matter that she was his enemy, that she wasn’t supposed to think of him that way. It was a fact that she couldn’t deny. Rey had never seen such a man in her life before. And in staring at him, she could see all the similarities he had to his father. 

Catching herself, Rey looked away. “I’m meditating.” 

Kylo’s face remained impassive, though she knew he had caught her staring. “Did Skywalker teach you to do that?” 

Rey nodded. She expected him to tell her to get up. She expected him to insult his uncle like he had done before. Instead, much to her surprise, he slipped off his heavy outer robes and sat down across from her. 

Kylo closed his eyes, his face relaxed for the first time. Rey allowed herself a small victorious smile before following suit. 

They sat like that for almost an hour, breathing steadily. The well of energy inside Rey stirred, swelling and consuming her, as if a warm blanket of light had settled across her skin. With every passing moment, it spread further and further through her body. Her insides tingled with its power. The greater it grew though, the larger the shadow in the back of her mind became. 

With Kylo so close, also strengthening his connection to the Force, the bond between their souls became more present until it was less of a tether, more of a living chain of energy. The darkness in him flowed across the bond into her, as her light flowed into him. Rey finally understood what Luke meant. They truly were equals. 

The darkness spiked, making her flinch. She tried to pull away from it but it locked her tight in its coils. Soothing vibes came across the bond. _“Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.”_

Rey almost smirked at the repetition of his words. They had first been spoken when that pain had throbbed through her head and he had felt her discomfort as if it were his own. The beginnings of the bond, she realised. Now, just as she feared the darkness, he feared the light that was invading him, stronger than ever. 

“Rey.” A whisper. Nothing but a whisper inside her head. The darkness whispering her name, daring her to resist its temptation. “Rey, open your eyes.” 

She did. And what she saw took her breath away. 

All around them, swirling around their heads, was water. Clean, crisp water. Rey was stunned. Had they done this with their shared power? 

Glancing around, she found the source of the water. Two water bottles, no doubt brought in to sate her thirst after training, had burst. Now the liquid moved in two separate columns, dancing around each other. 

The energy still flowed between them, and with every spike of power, the twirling water pillars twisted in a different direction. Rey watched the display before her, transfixed. She wasn’t sure quite how they were doing it, but she didn’t want it stop. 

Rey moved her fingers in time with the show until the water was replicating her hand’s movements. She stopped her hand for a moment, expecting it to crash to the floor, but it didn’t. Instead it flowed around her, circling her wrists, slaloming through her fingers. She laughed a little as it splashed against the back of her neck. 

Her laugh was met with a huffed chuckle. She tore her eyes away to find Kylo Ren staring at her. He looked away instantly, focusing on some very interesting spot on the wall behind her. Where the ghost of a smile she swore had been now twisted into his usual scowl. With a slight quirk to her lips, she realised he had been the one swirling it around her. 

The water dropped from the air, soaking the training mat beneath it. Rey sighed. Just for a moment they had been able to forget past grievances. Just for a moment they had been enjoying each other’s company, been on the same wavelength. 

_Nothing lasts forever. Not with him._

Rey pushed herself up. If they weren’t going to have any fun, then they might as well get on with her training. Kylo clearly had the same idea because he too got up and wandered over to the rack of weights. He picked one up – a relatively light one she noticed – and placed it on the floor. 

His eyes finally met hers when he said, “Move it.” 

And just like that, they were back to normal. 

Rey shot out her hand, focusing entirely on the weight. Kylo stalked around her, watching as she tried to force her will onto the object. It refused to move. _Come on,_ she pleaded. Any movement would be better than none. If only so she wouldn’t have to endure his inevitable mockery. 

She gritted her teeth and pushed more power onto it. The weight juddered a little and went still. _Not enough power,_ she thought. It didn’t help that he was watching her like she was lunch. She could feel that gaze burning into her back, throwing her completely off balance. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” 

Rey growled. Letting her hand fall to her side, she whirled on him. “You’re the one supposed to be teaching me.” 

From across the room, it only took Kylo three enormous strides until he was close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her skin. She shuddered from his proximity but refused to back down. 

“Turn around and do it again.” 

With a searing glare, she did so, replicating her previous movements. The weight shuddered again, but didn’t lift off the ground. About to give a frustrated sigh, her concentration faltered when Kylo took a step closer. 

“You’re trying to force it out of you.” His deep voice rumbled through her. His breath washed over the nape of her neck, staying close enough to get her calm resolve to snap. “You need to focus your mind, not the energy inside you. Close your eyes.” 

_You’re not getting to me that easily._ But she followed his instructions. If he could teach her telekinesis, she would at least be willing to find out what else he had to offer. 

With her eyes closed, she wondered what he was going to do next. What she didn’t expect was his hands resting lightly on her outstretched arm and her hip, angling her body. Where his un-gloved fingers met her bare skin, she bristled. 

“Relax.” He said roughly. She loosened the tension in her shoulders, but her taut muscles wouldn’t respond where he was touching her. His lips were dangerously close to her ear when he continued, “Imagine the weight as a living thing. Imagine it floating in your mind, then lifting.” 

Rey focused all her attention on the task at hand, tearing her mind away from the touch that was making her skin tingle. She envisioned the weight, light in her mind, elevating above the ground. Though the thought made her chuckle, she made herself promise not to throw it at Kylo’s head again. 

“How’s that for teaching you?” 

Rey opened her eyes to see the weight floating gently in the air. She grinned, twisting her head to look gratefully at Kylo. He was smiling too, only slightly but it was there. And Rey considered that a victory in itself. 

That smile faded when his gaze met hers. She hadn’t realised just how close they were until then. He stepped back, folding his hands behind him. Rey collected herself, though the harsh cold burnt where his hands had been. 

Kylo cleared his throat. “I have some business to attend to. You should keep practicing.” 

Rey nodded, though she knew he was making excuses to leave. Even without the bond telling her, he was a terrible liar. 

He collected his things, slipping on his outer robes and gloves. And finally that kriffing mask. Rey stifled the urge to snarl at its presence. Before she could say another word, however, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's honestly so fun to write sexual tension...
> 
> Hope that sated some Reylo thirst haha. Don't forget to let me know what you thought!


	10. Search And Destroy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Ten! Wow. So far already and we're barely getting started.
> 
> So shit's about to go down, with a few fluffy scenes thrown in for good measure.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience! You're all wonderful. I apologise for the wait, I've had such a busy week. But I hope this chapter is worth it!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Kylo Ren had no idea where he was going. 

How long had it been since he’d left her in that training room? 

Left her. _Again._

Ten minutes? Ten seconds? Perhaps it was ten hours; he didn’t know. He just kept walking. Without direction. Without destination. Eventually he’d do a full circle and end up in front of her again. 

Why did he keep doing this? He’d finally be making progress with her, _finally_ be feeling something other than rage and hatred. Then he’d throw the barriers up and walk away. 

After the night before – which he still couldn’t process or bring himself to tell her about – Kylo’s thoughts were more muddled than ever. 

Anakin had surprised him. Since discovering who his grandfather really was, Kylo had believed that Darth Vader would have wanted him to finish what he started. To have the galaxy bent to his will. 

Now that he knew that wasn’t the case, Kylo couldn’t help but consider that maybe Anakin was right. That she… That Rey – smart, fiery, _beautiful_ Rey – could be what he needed to have some clarity. 

He was taken aback by the thought. But it was true. Kylo had never seen a creature more beautiful than she. He had seen it on Takodana, when she’d bravely stood against him. On Starkiller, when she’d fought him with the force of a raging storm. And not an hour ago, when she had been in his arms, the first genuine smile he had seen on her face. 

There wasn’t a chance that he would abandon the First Order and betray Snoke. He couldn’t. Maybe there was a chance, however, that embracing the light in him would make him all that Snoke wanted him to be. Strong and passionate. His ultimate ally. 

Kylo’s fists clenched at his sides. He was moments away from burying his fist in the wall. And he would have done just that if a far better target hadn’t come stalking around the corner. 

Armitage Hux stood before him, his red hair combed neatly in place, his permanent scowl set on his face as his blue eyes blazed with anger. 

“Is something the matter, General Hux?” 

Sensing Kylo’s amusement, Hux straightened his already rigid posture. The general’s hands were folded tautly behind his back, stretching the material of his black uniform. “If I could have a word, Ren.” 

“My time is not to be wasted, general.” Kylo warned. 

“And yet you find the time to wander around the ship.” Hux’s voice loosened, an eyebrow quirking up. 

Kylo’s fist clenched again, preparing to spread Hux’s nose across his face. 

“Follow me, please.” The general whirled and strode down the hallway with military efficiency. Who did he think he was? Giving Kylo orders like that. He ought to have the general strung up for such assertiveness. 

But Kylo knew that he had no authority to do so. Despite his power and standing with Snoke, he had no real position in the ranks of the First Order. Hux wasn’t his superior, but he wasn’t his subordinate either. And ignoring the redhead would surely cause an argument he really wasn’t in the mood for having. 

Muttering curses to himself, Kylo caught the shorter man easily. Hux gave him a sidelong glance as he marched beside the general, but didn’t say anything. This irked Kylo; not because he wanted to talk to the bastard, but because it was only when Hux was distressed did he shut up. 

The general led Kylo onto the bridge, where operations were buzzing. Lieutenants hurried about, giving orders they weren’t elevated in rank enough to make. One sharp glance from Hux had them scurrying back to their stations. Yet the room was still bustling. Something must have happened. 

Everyone in the room had become accustomed enough to Kylo’s dark presence that they paid him no mind as he stalked past them. Only a certain Lieutenant stared at him in fright. Kylo racked his memory for the man’s name but came up short. He rarely interacted directly with them so knowing their names had never been a priority. 

Hux caught the man shaking and snapped, “Back to work, Lieutenant Mitaka.” 

Kylo huffed. Mitaka: the man who had so unfortunately been burdened with informing him of the droid’s escape from Jakku. The man who had told him about Rey. 

He still couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding that had washed over him when Mitaka had mentioned ‘a girl’. There had been no explanation as to why he had needed to know the identity of this girl. The awakening in the Force Snoke had mentioned… He’d needed to know she wasn’t anything to do with it. 

“As you can see, Ren, I’m not pleased.” Hux said from beside him. 

Kylo’s attention snapped back to the general. They were looking down at a screen. The images were black and white but it was clear to see what was going on. 

He was looking at Rey. In the training room, shoes kicked off and staff in hand. She had found the training dummies he often used and set them up in a circle around her. Weighing the staff in her hands, Rey closed her eyes, her body relaxing into what he recognised as a deadly calm. 

The staff began twirling in her fingers, whipping around in vicious circles, smashing into each of the dummies with enough force to knock them down. Rey’s eyes never opened once. She just kept moving; quick as a striking viper and agile as a Jedi twice her training. 

Kylo watched her with awe, suddenly wishing to view the spectacle without the restrictions of his visor. How wonderful she would be with a double-edged lightsaber; how formidable an opponent. 

Hux cleared his throat, impatient for an explanation. 

“What’s the problem, general? The girl is my apprentice. She is training.” 

“I was not aware that learning such a level of combat was part of her training. Do not forget that she is the enemy, Ren.” Kylo bristled. Hux, not noticing, continued, “If she has skills like that, she poses a threat to us all.” 

“My apprentice is no threat to the Order. I dare say she will become an invaluable asset.” 

Hux glared at him. “You think me a fool, Ren? I know the strength she possesses, after having beaten you on Starkiller. Not a feat you will easily forget, I am sure.” 

This close. He was this close to socking him in the jaw. 

“But I also know that girl did not agree to your training because she is on our side. I doubt she agreed at all. She belongs to the Resistance, to the enemy, and that makes her dangerous.” 

“She belongs to me now.” Kylo growled, “If you try anything, general, you’ll find that your beloved cat will be missing its head. And yours will be joining it.” 

“You are in no position to make threats, Ren.” Hux said, though wariness danced in his eyes. Kylo was fairly sure that his voice only got so low and dangerous when matters concerned Rey. 

He was on the verge of losing his temper. There was nothing he had ever wanted more than to lock his grip around Hux’s throat. Than to watch the life bleed out of the insufferable son of a bitch. 

Clamping down on his anger, Kylo ground out, “If that is all you wish to speak to me about, then I have more important matters to attend to.” Like destroying that surveillance camera. 

Hux snorted. “Actually it’s not.” 

“What now?” 

The general marched across the walkway in the centre of the bridge. Kylo didn’t move from his spot, imagining the childish triumph of tying Hux’s shoelaces together so that he might make a fool of himself. Something the general desperately wanted to avoid. 

The redhead returned with two hefty files and shoved them into Kylo’s hands. “I trust that the Supreme Leader has informed you of the recent deals with the Guavian Death Gang and Kanjiklub.” 

“He has not.” 

Hux feigned surprise, supressing a smirk. “In that case, I should probably tell you that both groups were associated with Han Solo. A recent dealing with him went awry so after his death, the groups came to us to offer aid so they may exact revenge on Solo’s loved ones.” 

Kylo almost choked at the mention of his father. Hux had no idea about Kylo’s parentage, though he was sure the general had many theories. He steadied his voice enough to reply, “And what were the deals?” 

“We cannot attack the Resistance base directly without the Superweapon. Their shields and ground forces would result in major losses on our part. However, these gangs have the ability and influence to do many things.” 

As Hux explained, Kylo had taken to flipping through the files. Unfamiliar faces greeted him, rough and cruel from years of violence. All of the men had different skill sets, making them a particularly daunting new enemy for the Resistance. 

“Kanjiklub are well versed in many languages and know a good handful of underground spies. They are going to be our Search and Destroy squad.” 

“Seeking out Resistance conspirators and torturing them, I assume?” 

Hux nodded, unfazed at the idea. “As for the Death Gang, they have enough members and ships to disrupt the trade routes in and out of D’Qar.” 

Kylo started. D’Qar was a small planet, not so far from the outer rim. He knew the climate well. That in the winter it was too cold and during the summer storms were frequent, making it difficult to grow crops. Therefore, most of their food was imported across the trade routes. 

They were going to starve them out.

**

Rey had been lying on the floor for hours. 

At least it felt like hours. She had given up waiting, given up trying to train herself a while ago, opting instead for the slight comfort of the mats beneath her. 

Rey had not known that the grey ceiling, after a few moments of fiddling with the controls, split in half to reveal a single glass pane looking out upon the stars. When the metal had parted, she had been startled but her cares had melted away with awe at the view. She could see for lightyears. Thousands upon thousands of stars burned, searing their presence into the backs of her eyelids like her own constellation map. 

Laying there, she wondered if Kylo ever just watched the stars. If he ever stopped for just a moment to see the beauty the galaxy had to offer. She smiled as she realised those stars on their canvass of black was all she imagined when she thought of his soul. _Those stars will only get brighter._

Rey sighed, propping herself up on her elbows. She had seen those pinpricks of light in his obsidian eyes when he’d been holding her. When her body had reacted in a way it never had before. 

She understood the rules of physical attraction. She knew that she found him to be what others would describe as desirable. And she knew that he felt the attraction too. _What is happening to me?_ She thought, falling back, a hand on her forehead. _If anyone knew… Maker, if Finn knew…_

They would call her crazy, no doubt. Say it was nothing but hormones. And Rey would have believed them if only she didn’t know better. If only she didn’t know that her hormones, while they had made her feel strange things, had never made her feel like this. 

With Finn in her mind, Rey turned her confused thoughts away from the man who clouded them and onto her best friend. 

She imagined how much of a ruckus Finn was causing on D’Qar. She wondered if he had summoned the courage to tell Poe how he felt, if Poe had done the same. With much regret, Rey realised she probably wouldn’t have a chance to embarrass them about it. 

Rey wished that she could send a message to them, though she had no idea how she would achieve such a feat. She knew what she would say to them. Tell them she was alright. Persuade them not to come looking for her. Promise them she would be home soon. And ask them to tell Luke that she intended to beat some sense into his nephew. 

The door slid open suddenly, though Rey barely reacted. His footsteps may have been light approaching the door, his thoughts shielded, but she would never not be able to feel the growth in their bond as he got closer. 

She didn’t look up, didn’t remove the hand from over her face as he silently approached her. Curling her fingers in, she peered up at his towering form. 

Kylo had removed his mask and she had a smug feeling it was because she hated it so much. She readied herself for his mockery, but he said nothing. Instead he focused his attention on one corner of the room. A surveillance camera sat tucked in the folds of the metal walls. How had she not noticed that? 

He flicked his wrist and the camera sparked, shards of glass raining onto the mat below. Rey didn’t ask why he had done that, though she wondered why he hadn’t done it before. 

Kylo’s gaze returned to her. He looked at her with what she might have mistaken for wonder if he hadn’t been so distressed. More so than before. 

Rey felt the anxiety flooding across the bond, making her own throat go dry. “Is everything okay?” 

Kylo looked away. When he spoke, his voice shook, “Everything is fine.” 

She would have yelled at him for lying but as he sank to the ground beside her, joining her in admiring the stars, it didn’t feel right. Pain marred his features. Subtle, but it was there. There was something he needed to tell her. 

Rey scrutinised his face for a moment. He knew she was staring at him, but there was no discomfort in his eyes as they glanced to hers every so often. The way he contemplated the stars was the same way she did. With awe, and the sense of being incredibly small in comparison. 

If there was something he had to say, she would wait. 

Eventually he whispered, “I thought you were watching the stars. Not me.” 

Rey smiled and turned back to the view above. Never once had she thought that she would be stargazing with Kylo Ren. That she would be comfortable enough to be this close to him. And though a part of her wanted to move as far away as possible, Rey found that she liked it there. 

Kylo suddenly chuckled beside her. 

Rey rose an eyebrow, twisting to look at him. “What’s so funny?” 

“I never thought you would like stargazing.” 

She stared at him incredulously. “And that is funny, why?” 

“You come from a desert planet where you see the stars every night. One would think that you would be sick of staring at them.” He smirked. “Then I realised that you didn’t have the luxury of seeing beauty wherever you went, so you found beauty in the prospect of freedom. In the stars.” 

Rey laughed softly. “I suppose I did.” 

“And now you have it.” 

“What?” 

The intensity of Kylo’s gaze made Rey’s breath catch. “I don’t want you to think that you’re a prisoner here, Rey. You are my apprentice, and you are expected to train, but I will never make you do anything you don’t want to do.” 

Rey had a sick feeling Kylo knew exactly what it was like to be forced into things. Snoke, while an evil psychopath normally, struck her as an even crueller teacher. Something in her heart strained at the pain he must have endured. The memories he didn’t let her see. 

“Thank you, Kylo.” She whispered and he looked at her as though she had just sprouted another head. Apparently people around here didn’t appreciate him as much as they should, despite what he was doing for them. 

He collected himself enough to nod. “I have arranged it so that you will not be sleeping in that cell anymore. You don’t have your own chambers yet, so I hope that mine will suffice for the time being.” 

Rey was taken aback. “You… You want me to sleep in your room with you?” 

“Not _with_ me.” Kylo withdrew, sitting up. “Just in my chambers. On my couch for a night or two until your own rooms can be arranged. If that is disagreeable to you, then I don’t mind leaving you in that cell instead.” 

_So much for that… whatever that was,_ Rey thought, but she sat up with him and placed a gentle hand on his arm. Kylo’s muscles went taut under her touch. He may not have known how to be kind to her, but for what it was worth he was trying. “I should like that very much. Thank you.”

**

Leia Organa sat alone in her rooms, a bottle of whiskey gripped firmly in one hand and a dusty old picture frame in the other. 

She sipped liberally from the bottle as she stared at the photograph. It had been taken many years ago, on a day she had forgotten her problems and enjoyed a day with her family. 

D’Qar had been much brighter back then, much livelier. The perfect place for a new family to settle. The grass was a lush green, the sun beating down upon her smiling face as she watched her son sit upon the shoulders of his father, a model X-Wing in his chubby little hands. Ben had always wanted to be a pilot, just like his father. And a Jedi, just like his uncle. Even then, Ben had been similar to his grandfather. 

_There’s too much Vader in him._ Tears slipped down Leia’s cheeks at the memory of what Han had said on the last day she’d seen him. Her husband had been right. But there wasn’t too much Vader, there was too much _Anakin._ Too much uncontrolled passion and rage. Too much willingness to do the wrong thing for the right reasons. 

Finding out about her son’s bond with Rey had been hard on Leia. The girl had only been in his life for a few fleeting moments and yet they shared a connection deeper than she could ever have with him. But Rey was strong, resilient and more importantly kind. Compassion came easily to her. If anyone could help her son, then she would be the one to do it. 

A swift knock came at the door. Leia quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, set down the photograph and hid the whiskey before she said, “Come in.” 

The door slid open and in stumbled Poe, his face beet red like he’d been running. “General… I think you need to come and see this.” 

Poe rarely sounded flustered. But his frantic eyes were enough to set Leia in motion. She marched out the door after the commander, needing no direction. 

Leia stormed through the base, passing frightened officers and the occasional crying mother. What had happened? 

“We don’t know where they came from, general. Or what they are doing here, but they say want to talk to you. That you will know them.” Poe explained, his droid having rolled up beside him. BB-8 emitted a string of hysterical beeps. If the little droid didn’t calm down, he would short circuit. 

“Who are they?” She demanded. “Did they give a name?” 

“He said his name is Bala-Tik.” 

_No._ The Guavian Death Gang. One of Han’s associates, known for their brutality and ruthlessness. He had always refused to tell her about them, though she’d known exactly who he was dealing with. Chewie was anything but a secret keeper. 

They emerged in the fresh misty air of the D’Qar morning. Normally the landing strip was bustling with pilots running back and forth, droids wandering around with toolkits. But the place was silent, everyone having taken cover inside. 

Everyone except Finn, Chewbacca and Luke of course. 

None of them turned as she and Poe walked up behind them. Leia took her spot at the head of group; Poe clapped Finn on the shoulder, the two standing close. It pleased Leia that after everything he had been through, Finn had found someone to care for him. 

At the opposite end of the landing strip, one large freighter had landed with its hundreds of companions floating in orbit. Five figures stood at the end of the loading door. 

Those flanking the leader were nothing short of disturbing in appearance. Leia had heard what the Guavian Death Gang did to its members. Those who swore loyalty to them were turned into cybernetic monsters, with a mechanical reservoir pumping chemicals into their blood. It made them faster, stronger, more aggressive. Ideal for the criminals. 

The leader, Bala-Tik, looked human enough though there was no guessing what secrets he might hide. Leia had never met the man in person, and she now realised why. He had a stern face, with cold eyes and mercilessness lining every feature. If she had been an ordinary woman, she would have been afraid of him. 

But she was not an ordinary woman. She was Leia Organa Skywalker, sister of Luke Skywalker and general of the Resistance. If she could stare into the face of the Empire and not be afraid, she could meet this man with a smile. 

And so she approached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Need I say more?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed chapter ten! Please let me know what you thought. Your kudos and comments are what keeps me going.


	11. Leave Out All The Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roomies! Yay!
> 
> Chapter Eleven's here. Enjoy!
> 
> By the way, to fully appreciate this chapter, I feel like you should all take a moment to listen to Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park. I think it ties in well with Rey and Kylo's conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the updates are getting slower. I'm sorry about that! I don't mean to keep you waiting. But thank you so much for your patience. And thank you so much for all your lovely comments and kudos, they're what keep me going!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

She was crazy. The general was crazy. 

That was the only explanation Finn could conjure as Leia sauntered towards her imminent death. 

He slid a sideways glance towards Poe. The pilot met his eyes, worry dancing in those dark irises. Finn gave a curt nod and both men raised their blasters, following the general. Chewie stayed behind with the frantic BB-8, though the Wookiee’s bowcaster was also raised and aimed at the approaching Death Gang. 

Finn had never seen the Guavian Death Gang before, having been shoved into the service shaft beneath the deck of Han’s freighter. But Finn remembered Bala-Tik’s voice: deep, harsh and heavily-accented. 

His heart pounded harder, harder, harder. Leia kept moving, nothing in her movements betraying any fear. Beside him, Poe’s breaths were laboured. As far as Finn knew, Poe had never been in any combat that didn’t involve him sitting behind the controls of his X-Wing. To his credit, however, Poe was excellent at letting his bravery consume any remnants of fear. 

When they were but five feet away, Leia stopped, crossing her arms in front of her. Watching her, Finn realised it was no longer the General of the Resistance facing the enemy. It was the princess who saved the galaxy. 

“Bala-Tik.” Leia inclined her head towards the gang leader. “How nice to finally meet you.” 

“It’s a shame I can’t say the same thing about you, general.” Bala-Tik sneered. “I think you know why I’m here.” 

Leia shrugged. “Come to join our cause?” 

The gang leader snorted. “Your husband owes us a great debt. And since we cannot glean the money from him directly, you are the next logical point of call.” 

Finn couldn’t see Leia’s face but he knew her eyes sparkled with fury and pain. Since Han’s death, it had been an unspoken rule that nobody mentioned him to her. 

He couldn’t imagine what sort of agony Leia must have gone through when her son had impaled his own father with that wretched lightsaber. When Finn had seen the loss tearing the general apart, he had vowed to reciprocate by tearing Kylo Ren apart. And now that the monster had Rey… 

Finn suppressed the urge to snarl. 

Leia’s voice filled with suspicion. “I am surprised it took you this long. I thought your particular organisation got things done quickly.” 

Bala-Tik smiled, his fingers twitching on his weapon. “Let’s just say not all of those ships up there are ours.” 

It took Finn a moment to work it out. But he knew there was a reason he recognised over half of those ships. They were First Order transporters. 

“Kriffing Hell…” Finn muttered. 

“Indeed.” Bala-Tik said, his unsettling gaze boring into Finn. It took all his effort not to cringe away when the gang leader continued, “I’m sure you are familiar with these ships, aren’t you _FN-2187_?” 

Finn winced. Beside him, Poe snarled, lunging for the gang leader. Leia shot out an arm to keep Poe at bay. The pilot ignored her, stalking around her outstretched hand and getting as close to Bala-Tik as he dared. Any fear Finn had seen in Poe’s eyes was replaced with simmering rage, all directed at Bala-Tik. All because Finn had been insulted. 

He would have been flattered. Thrilled, even. But not now. Now, Poe was in danger. 

“Do you want to call him that again, _Bala-Tik_?” Poe spat the gang leader’s name as if it were poison on his tongue. 

Bala-Tik gave a toothy grin. “You must be Poe Dameron, best pilot in the Resistance. I’ve heard a lot about you and you friend, _FN-2187_ , here.” Poe’s hands curled into fists at his sides. The gang leader merely quirked an eyebrow and glanced between Poe and him. “Although, I think you might be more than friends.” 

Finn’s blaster almost dropped out of his hands. Was he implying…? No, of course he wasn’t. No-one knew about that. Not even Rey. 

The tension in Poe’s shoulders slackened and he stumbled back a few paces. Finn was terrified he might fall. But he was more terrified that Poe was disgusted by the gang leader’s words. What if all this time he had been reading the signs wrong? 

Poe returned to his place beside Leia, avoiding Finn’s eyes all the while. He watched the pilot for a moment, feeling an unfamiliar strain threatening to pull his heart through his ribcage. 

_No. Later. We’ll do this later._

Finn turned back to the gang leader before them. Bala-Tik’s grin had spread so wide, Finn wondered if his cheeks would split. “Did I strike a nerve there?” 

Growling, Finn primed his blaster, his finger itching to pull the trigger. “What do you want?” 

Bala-Tik turned to walk back into his ship. His guards followed suit, but before the door could close, he glanced over his shoulder to say, “It would be unwise to divulge one’s plans to the enemy, don’t you think? But for your own piece of mind, general, I will say that the First Order has great ideas for the lot of you. That is, if you can survive without food.” 

The ship’s loading door shut.

**

The walk back to Kylo’s chambers was silent. With his mask back on and cowl up, Rey could only see the thick black robes stretching over his taut muscles as he led the way. She was still in shock that he had offered to share his quarters with her. In his own twisted way, Rey knew that Kylo Ren cared for her. If he didn’t, she was certain she would have been thrown to Snoke like carrion to a beast. 

Rey realised with a jolt all the things he had done for her in the past few days. He had given her food, blankets and a place to stay. New clothes, despite how she refused to wear them. He had helped her achieve what she never had with Luke. 

He had saved her life. 

Cynical as Rey was, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was doing it on Snoke’s orders to make her trust him. But this was not the Kylo she remembered from Starkiller Base. This was not Kylo Ren at all. It was Ben Solo. 

_“If you call me that out loud, I will kill you.”_

Rey started. _“I didn’t realise you heard all that.”_

_“Not all of it. You’re mostly just background noise,”_ Rey heard Kylo chuckle. Even through the mask it sounded pleasant. _“But the mention of that name is hard to ignore.”_

_“Sorry… But I do prefer it to Kylo Ren.”_

Kylo glanced over his shoulder at her. _“You’re not the only one to say that,”_ He muttered. 

Taken aback, Rey was about to ask who else had said that when they approached the end of a hallway. Rey counted herself lucky that she was so used to treading miles across the desert else she wouldn’t have been able to walk for a week. 

Kylo paused in front of the only door, quickly inputting the access code. Rey glanced up and down the corridor, but found no other entrances. Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen any other rooms or even heard any noise since climbing onto this deck. She couldn’t determine whether that was because Kylo had chosen the most isolated part of The Finalizer or that people generally didn’t want to be near him. 

Just as Rey was about to step into his chambers, she noticed several deep gashes marring the wall beside the door. The edges were frazzled, some of the electrics occasionally sparking. Lightsaber damage. 

Rey raised an eyebrow at the knight now waiting for her to enter. Mere indifference came across the bond as her answer. She wondered if he had ever broken anything important when he lost his temper. 

Stepping into Kylo’s chambers, Rey suddenly found herself unsure of what to do. She had never slept in a room that also occupied another person. Then again, she had never slept in a proper bed. 

Kylo pulled his mask off, setting it on the coffee table, and gestured for Rey to sit. Taking a few cautious steps towards the sofas, Rey tested her new ground. Despite having actively invited her in, Rey still doubted Kylo wanted her there and any wrong move on her part would result in going back to that cell. And losing whatever it was they had. 

She leant her staff against the wall before perching herself on the edge of a sofa. Breaking the heavy silence, Kylo said, “Make yourself comfortable. I’ve called for food. I’ll be back soon.” 

He was leaving her again. She shouldn’t have been surprised really. But instead of going out the door, he stepped into the refresher across the room. Within moments, the steady thrum of water filled her ears. 

Rey chewed the inside of her cheek as she glanced around the room. Kylo’s chambers were smaller than she expected, and yet still large enough to house his four-poster bed. It looked tantalisingly comfortable, like the silk sheets would swallow her whole. She hoped that when she got her own rooms they gave her a bed like that. 

With a solemn sigh, Rey recalled how comfortable her bed on D’Qar had been in the seconds before Finn had ripped her from it. Of course, she had wanted to go to Naboo, but she couldn’t help but blame him a little. Look where it had gotten her. 

She rose from the seat, hovering a little before wandering over to his bed. It would have been far too discomforting for them both had she sat on it, though she did allow herself the luxury of running the tips of her fingers across the material. 

It was softer than anything she had laid her hands upon. Softer even than the silk a wealthy merchant had once been trying to sell at Niima Outpost. Rey had only been fourteen when that man in all his extravagance had passed through town. She had laughed at his desperate attempt to sell the vast lengths of material he possessed. No-one in a place like Niima could afford it. 

The shower suddenly went off and Rey heard the thud of his feet stepping onto the tile floor. She jumped back from the bed, cautiously eyeing the refresher door. It was cracked open. Before she could avert her eyes, Rey caught Kylo’s bare back as he stood before the mirror, a towel around his waist. 

Rey had to swallow her gasp. She couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be if he caught her looking, though she could not seem to look away. 

His skin was pale, as if it had not been touched by sunlight in many years, and droplets of water ran down from the mass of dark hair now plastered to his forehead. But what caught Rey’s attention the most were the scars running across his arms and down his back. These were thinner than the one bisecting his face, except they criss-crossed each other so much that they created a spider’s web of white lines across his skin. 

Absently, Rey fingered the vest at her back, the skin beneath it burning into her hands. _So similar…,_ she thought. 

Kylo’s eyes lifted then. He stared into the mirror before him, though not at his own reflection, rather at her. Rey moved quickly but it was too late. 

The door slammed shut. She cringed at the noise, cursing herself for her lack of control. She had seen – oftentimes very unfortunately – naked men before. Most of the local human men on Jakku thought it acceptable to strip in front of everyone. Rey, though she had done everything in her power to avert her eyes, had not always been able to avoid getting an eyeful. In consideration, she should be used to it. 

But Kylo was not just any man. And seeing him like that, having that intense gaze settle on her and only her… It made something inside her twitch. 

Desperately willing those images to remove themselves from the backs of her eyelids, Rey settled back on the sofa. Her knee started juddering up and down, her teeth cutting into her bottom lip. What was he going to say when he came out? Send her back to that awful cell, no doubt. 

A sudden noise interrupted Rey's thoughts. The entrance to Kylo’s chambers slid open, revealing a small service droid. To her surprise, it was like the service droids Unkar Plutt kept: ancient, banged-up but irrevocably friendly. It ground out a few greetings in binary as it scurried over to her. 

In its hands, it carried a tray full of treats. Rey’s stomach grumbled as she beheld the array of cakes and buns, all topped with delicious swirls of icing. Some of them were even topped with berries, not unlike the fruits Maz had gifted her with. 

After setting the tray down, the droid took Rey’s hand. The cold metal made tears prick in Rey’s eyes. It was far too much like Luke’s artificial hand. She swallowed them down before the droid pulled a C-3PO and bothered her until she told it what was wrong. 

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you too.” Rey smiled sadly at the droid. It proceeded to explain that it was Kylo’s personal service droid, among his many other personal servants. The question it asked at seeing her on Kylo’s couch startled her. “No! I am _not_ his girlfriend.” 

The droid was quick to apologise, asking her forgiveness for the intrusion. Rey waved it off, “No it’s okay. I can see why you’d make that mistake.” 

“You are dismissed.” 

Both Rey and the droid looked up in shock to see Kylo leaning against the refresher door frame, arms crossed over his chest. The toned muscles of his arms and chest were much more prominent through just his tunic. Rey pushed the thoughts away as the droid gave a quick bow, muttering some apologies and leaving. 

“Is that how you speak to all your droids?” Rey turned on Kylo, any embarrassment from earlier gone. 

“That’s how I speak to everyone.” 

“Like everyone is beneath you?” She couldn’t hide the disgust from her voice. 

Kylo sighed through his nose. “When you grow up with a family like mine…” He grimaced, but continued, “And then learn under the Supreme Leader’s tutelage, it is impossible not to consider everyone beneath you.” 

Rey wrinkled her nose. _He has a point._ That little voice in her head always seemed to be right. Frustratingly annoying, but right. 

Leia, though now a general, was always going to be a princess at heart. Han had a habit of being charmingly arrogant. From what Luke had told her, Anakin Skywalker had also been extremely obnoxious. If that was true, Rey wasn’t surprised Kylo took after his grandfather. 

“So I talk to everyone like that.” Kylo had taken to rearranging the many robes in his wall-embedded wardrobe, though they all looked exactly the same. Rey presumed it was to stop himself from having to sit across from her. His hands paused for a moment before he said, “Except you.” 

It was true. He had never once spoken to her like she was beneath him. Rey tried to conceal her grin by focusing her eyes on her shaking hands. “I wonder why that is.” 

Kylo didn’t reply, merely closing the door to his wardrobe and taking a seat adjacent to her. She raised her eyes to his, meeting them for a second before he looked away. 

“I thought you’d have started eating by now.” Perhaps he wasn’t going to send her back to that cell after all. 

Rey made a move for the bun closest to her. It was a swirl of pastry topped with white icing and juicy fruits hidden inside. When her fingers were within reach, the plate slid away. Confusion marred her brow as she lunged for the bun again, but it slid back the other way. 

She frowned at Kylo, who wore an expression of utter indifference. _Bastard,_ she thought, _doesn’t he know what it’s like to be hungry?_

“A test, I think.” Rey gave him a look she hoped said he was crazy. “There’s no reason we cannot continue to build on your Force abilities outside of lessons.” 

“There’s one very specific reason, actually,” She countered, “And it’s called ‘I’m hungry, and I know you can hear my stomach growling from there, so let me eat before I hit you around the head with my staff’.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” Kylo’s eyes danced with the challenge. She deepened her frown, attempting to look serious but the idea of using Kylo’s own advice against him was too amusing. He inclined his head towards the plate, “Make the whole thing levitate. Then you can eat.” 

Rey would have argued further, would have used all the words she had stored from years on Jakku if it weren’t for the fact that she needed as much practise as she could get. Squaring her shoulders, Rey focused her mind on the task at hand. Her eyes fluttered closed as the image of the buns adorning the plate filled her mind. She imagined the plate lifting, the buns swirling in the air. 

Opening her eyes, she was left disappointed. Only the top two buns were floating, a good few inches from the rest and spinning around each other, but it was no impressive feat. 

“This is going to take a lot longer than I thought.” Kylo muttered. 

The buns dropped as Rey’s attention snapped to him. “What did you say?” 

“I wasn’t insulting you,” He leaned back in the armchair, waving a hand at the plate. A gesture for her to go ahead and eat, as if she had to be told. “It just baffles me that you could summon a lightsaber to your hand six months ago and now you can’t even make a plate hover.” 

Rey curled her legs underneath herself and took a bun. She began picking it apart and stuffing the contents into her mouth. “You were trying to kill me on Starkiller Base. Call it survival instincts.” 

Anger flared across the bond. Anger and… Pain. Genuine hurt. She looked up at him to find his hands curled into fists, his jaw set into a hard line. “I was _not_ trying to kill you on Starkiller.” His voice was low, dangerous. “Need I remind you that you were the one to attack first?” 

She didn’t care that he was hurt. She didn’t care that it was true. Her own rage boiled when he acted like the innocent victim. “Need I remind _you_ that I only attacked because you permanently injured my best friend and killed the only man I could ever have considered a father?” 

Pain again. No, _agony_. She had struck a blow that cut deeper than any weapon could have done. Rey had never felt regret for anything she had done in her life, so when that guilt washed over her, it made her shudder. 

Though he had never said or shown her specifically, Rey had a feeling that Kylo regretted that day deeply. That if he could, he would go back and save his father instead of driving a lightsaber through his heart. 

She couldn’t forgive him for it. At least not yet. But the last thing she wanted was to go back to being his enemy. In just a few days, they had come so far. She had achieved so much towards fulfilling her vow. So even though a part of her thought he deserved the guilt, she whispered, “I’m sorry.” 

Kylo’s face had become a mask in itself, betraying no emotion. No pain. No rage. No… nothing. 

Then he lifted his eyes to her. “My grandfather came to speak to me.” 

Rey almost choked on the pastry. " _What_?” 

“My grandfather… Anakin Skywalker. He came to speak to me a few nights ago.” 

“I didn’t think Force ghosts were real.” Rey had only heard about them in stories. Luke had mentioned them once or twice, but never had she supposed they actually existed. 

“Neither did I.” Kylo was fiddling absentmindedly with the edge of his tunic. The material was frayed, making Rey wonder just how old it was. 

Swallowing the last of her bun, Rey tried to look casual by picking up another, though she was hoping her next question wouldn’t be stepping over the line. “What did he say?” 

He seemed to deliberate for a moment whether to tell her, though no anger at her impertinence presented itself. “He told me that the path I have chosen is not set in stone. He said that I would have become a great Jedi.” 

Rey could tell it hurt him to tell her this. A sudden thought occurred to her. This must have been what he needed to tell her earlier in the training room. But if it was urgent, wouldn’t he have mentioned it before today? 

It didn’t matter. He was telling her now. 

She rose from her seat and wandered around the coffee table, his eyes tracking her the entire time. Settling herself gently on the edge of the table, she perched in front of him and took his giant hand in hers. Her tiny fingers looked positively child-like in comparison. The simple touch sent sparks through her veins. 

He watched her as if she were a ghost herself. An apparition before him, here to bring him the reckoning he deserved, to bring him the peace he needed. She didn’t have to say that his grandfather was right. The look in Kylo’s eyes told her he already knew that. 

“What else did he say?” 

Kylo took a deep breath, his eyes focusing on something behind her. “He said that…” She urged him on with a squeeze of the hand, but whatever he was going to say was lost to the aether. “He just said that I was mistaken for trying to follow in Vader’s footsteps.” 

He untangled his fingers from hers, rising from the chair. Her skin turned to ice from the loss of his warmth. Rey watched him with a sadness in her eyes. She couldn’t imagine what that was like, to be so sure of your path only to have it twisted so harshly in the other direction. 

No. This was a good thing. The only one that could have convinced him to stray from the dark side was the one he had so faithfully followed all this time. And while Kylo had no intention of letting Rey drag him home, he couldn’t ignore that growing light inside him. Maybe this was the reason for his recent kindness. 

“You should get some sleep.” Kylo said at last. 

Rey nodded. She set down her half-eaten bun. If she took another bite, she feared she would not be able to keep it down. 

Curling herself up on the sofa, she tried not to look as Kylo climbed into his bed. There was something strangely intimate about watching him sleep. Instead she closed her eyes, burying her head in the small cushion she found. 

And as they slept, instead of ten feet sitting between them, it felt like a million miles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I hope to make chapter twelve get here sooner. Let me know what you thought :)


	12. Another Hole In The Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Twelve is finally here! And it's a juicy one. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all your support. You're all so sweet! And thank you for being so patient. I'm trying to get these written and ready as quickly as I can. This one's my longest chapter yet so I hope that makes up for it!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Light was streaming through the window when Rey woke up the next morning. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she took in the brilliant white stars. _The Finalizer_ had specially tinted windows, so she could watch the celestial beings pulsing like beating hearts without melting her retinas. 

She stretched her legs out beneath her, doing the same with her arms and back to relieve the stiffness from lying on the sofa too long. She didn’t know what time it was. Early, considering Kylo still slept soundly in his bed. 

Rey had a habit of waking up hours before everyone else. On Jakku, not rising before the sun meant missing all the day’s best bounty. Anywhere else, it didn’t seem to matter. Rey had once stormed into Luke’s hut, expecting her master to be awake, only to jerk him out of his dreams. She was faced with a glare no less menacing than his nephew’s. 

Pushing herself up, Rey decided that she might as well take advantage of the empty shower. She hadn’t washed in days; all the dust and grime was sticking to her like a second skin. Though Kylo had never shown it, Rey doubted she smelled any pleasanter. 

Rey had to pass Kylo’s bed to get to the refresher. She didn’t want to wake him, so she slipped off her boots and padded lightly across the floor. As she went by, she couldn’t resist a glance at his sleeping form. 

At some point in the night, he had pulled off his tunic, revealing his bare chest. The sheets were pulled up only above his stomach so Rey could see the toned muscles of his chest. For a moment, she wondered how they would feel under her fingertips. 

Her eyes moved up to his face. While in his waking hours Kylo was handsome, despite the stern set of his face. Asleep he was devastatingly beautiful. Relaxed, he was both young and mature. Both boy and man. Light and dark. 

Rey allowed herself a few moments to drink him in. She had been doing that a lot lately; just letting herself look at him. It didn’t feel wrong, and she wasn’t committing any crime in doing it. If they were any other two people, it would be perfectly normal. 

But what she was feeling… What he did to her… That was wrong. 

Only a few days ago, she had hated him. Cursed him for bringing her to this gods-damned ship. Now, she knew that if he hadn’t come to Naboo that day, she never would have seen how much light there really was inside him. 

_One step closer to keeping my promise._

She had to think about it that way. She was doing this for Leia and Luke. Doing this for Han. Not herself. 

Kylo’s eyes flickered a little, as if he were waking up. Rey jumped back a little. To her relief, his eyes didn’t open. He simply groaned and rolled over, burying his head in the pillow. Rey heaved a sigh of relief and made her way to the refresher. 

The shower was smaller than Rey expected, but she didn’t mind. She peeled the clothes from her body, discarding them in a pile on the floor. Finally, she unbound her meagre excuse for breasts. Even though she had filled out in the last sixth months, meaning her ribs were no longer poking through her skin, Rey didn’t particularly like looking at her body in the mirror. Compared to other girls like Jessika, she was almost child-like. 

Rey quickly stepped into the shower and shut the screen door behind her. The water was divine: hot, heavy and blissful against her skin. She hadn’t realised how much her muscles ached from training until that water massaged them. 

As she ran her fingers through her hair, which unbound fell to just below her shoulders, Rey spied a bottle of product next to the soap dish. She picked it up, spinning the bottle around. The language was not Basic, with which she was most familiar, rather Huttese. She could read it relatively well, understanding that the product was used to clean and soften hair. 

Such products had never been available on Jakku. She had only ever seen a similar bottle on Naboo. Squirting a dollop into her palm, Rey raised the thick liquid that came out to her nose and inhaled deeply. If this was what Kylo used in his hair, it clearly worked. 

Rey worked it into her hair, revelling in how good it felt. She was so caught up with the act that she didn’t notice the refresher door opening and her clothes being stolen by a large hand. 

Finishing up, Rey grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it, wringing out her hair as she went. She was happy to find that the mirror had almost entirely steamed up. How long had she been in there for? 

She dried herself off and reached for her clothes. But what her fingers were met with was not her clothes. It was not her vest, or her trousers, or even her arms guards. 

It was the black training robes Kylo had sent to her cell before. 

_What the kriff?_ She growled internally. 

No matter how much she complained, however, she had no choice. It was either the robes or facing Kylo with just a towel around her. With a defeated huff, she decided the former was the least mortifying. 

Even as she slipped the clothes on, she felt herself betraying Luke. _He never has to know about this,_ she thought before adding, _along with all the other things he never has to know about._

To Kylo’s credit however, Rey found that every piece exactly mimicked her normal attire. At least she would be comfortable in them. 

Stepping out of the refresher, Rey saw that Kylo was sat on the couch, already fully dressed. He had one ankle balanced on his knee, a file open on his lap. When she approached, said file disappeared quickly under a cushion beside him. 

She quirked an eyebrow but said nothing. Asking him would get her nowhere. His insistence on keeping it from her, however, made wariness stir in the pit of her stomach. There was a lot of things he was hiding from her, and somehow she thought not all of them had to do with his past. 

Kylo looked up at her, his eyes flicking over her body. Rey felt her cheeks flame, cursing the clothes for hugging her figure so profusely. He collected himself, clearly hoping she hadn’t noticed, and looked away. “You’ve changed your mind about the robes, I see.” 

Rey plonked herself down in the armchair, glaring at him as he smirked. “No, I haven’t. But _someone_ stole my clothes.” 

“They were filthy.” He drummed his fingers on his knee. The sound irritated her, enough to make her slap her hand over his. 

“I don’t care. They were my clothes.” It was hard to keep the bite out of her voice. 

Kylo didn’t reply. His attention had wholly moved to where her hand rested on his. His fingers were shaking slightly, his thumb twitching to graze across hers. So, it did affect him as much as it affected her. 

Rey moved her hand away before he could take it. Not that she thought he would; it just wasn’t a risk she was ready to take. 

She rose, moving to the bathroom mirror. Her hair still dripped steadily onto her shoulders. Finding the hair ties she’d abandoned, she started crafting her normal three buns. Finn had once commented how strange her choice of hairstyle was. With a very kind roll of the eyes, she had explained that the style was the only way to keep all her hair out of her face while she was scavenging. Otherwise it kept falling out. 

She hadn’t told him it was the hairstyle her family had left her with. 

As she tightened the last band, Rey noticed Kylo coming up behind her. There was something in his hands that he unravelled as he got closer. What Rey didn’t expect was the cloak she was so fond of being wrapped around her shoulders. 

The thick material was warm and heavy on her. It was a welcome weight as she imagined that was what it’d feel like to embrace someone larger than her. Someone like Kylo. 

She caught his eye in the mirror. His hands still gripped the edges of her cloak, fingers shaking as they tried to fasten the clasp. Rey smiled, reaching up to do it herself. 

When he finally spoke, his lips were inches from her ear, “You’ll have your normal clothes back soon enough. For now, you can at least enjoy the cloak.” His deep voice rumbling against her skin made her shiver. 

Rey spun, beaming up at him. “Thank you.” 

The entrance suddenly slid open, making them jump apart. Kylo stepped out of the refresher, no doubt to scold whoever was calling so early. When Rey peered around the door, it was merely the droid who had brought her food the night before. 

It gurgled out its apologies for interrupting but it had important news. Kylo’s shoulders visibly tensed, prompting Rey to worry what the news could be. And if he was hiding something from her again. 

In its language, the droid said, “Master Ren, the Supreme Leader has asked for your presence… And hers.” 

Bile rose in Rey’s throat. Snoke. Snoke wanted to see her. 

Her heart pounded. Her stomach flipped. Her body shook so hard she had to grasp hold of the refresher door to keep herself steady. She had known fear. This was worse. 

It was only when Kylo glanced over his shoulder that she knew she wasn’t alone in that fear. The things Snoke had done to him. The scars across his back… 

_Never again,_ she vowed. Rey knew there wasn’t much she could do in her situation. But Maker damn her if she ever let Snoke torture either of them again. 

The droid was dismissed with a wave of Kylo’s hand. The moment it was gone and the door had closed, Kylo was upon her, fingers digging into her arms. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be alright, I promise.” Rey wasn’t sure if that was for her benefit or his. 

All she could manage to do was nod. When she slowed her breathing, Kylo took his hands away. “All you have to do is answer his questions. Don’t fight him. He won’t hurt you, because you’re too valuable to him.” 

“You’re sure about that?” She intended it to sound sarcastic but when she opened her mouth, her voice was weak. 

“You’re more valuable to him than I am.” 

Rey didn’t reply. What could she say to that? Just one look in Kylo’s mind and anyone would know how worthless he felt. How he wanted to do everything to please Snoke, no matter what the cost. And all he got in return was torture and pain. 

But he wasn’t worthless. Not to his family, who still loved him even now. Not to his grandfather, who had said he would be a great Jedi. 

Not to her. 

She gave him a small smile and handed him something. It was ice cold against her fingertips as she weighed the object in her hands. Rey hated it and if she had her way, she would never have to touch it again. “Here.” 

Kylo looked down at the object and his eyes widened in surprise. He knew Rey hated that god-forsaken mask more than she hated even The First Order. 

At his incredulity, Rey forgot the invisible walls they had put up between them. The unspoken rules to never touch each other save for training. She reasoned she had already broken them by touching his hands. 

This time was different. She reached up and laid her fingers on his face, like she had done once before. By that lake. 

Rey lightly grazed the edge of his scar, feeling his hot breath on her skin, before meeting his gaze. He was scared. Scared of the touch, scared of whatever was going on in his heart. Exactly mirroring her own. 

No. If she was going to be brave about facing Snoke, she could be brave about this. 

“What are you doing?” Kylo breathed. 

She shoved the mask at him a little. “Well we don’t want to give him any reason to kick your arse again, do we?” 

“You say things like that and I’ll start to think you actually care.” 

Rey opened her mouth only to snap it shut. Instead she used her fingers to convey her words, while she wasn’t ready to say them aloud. She let them trail along his scar, across his cheek, through his hair. It really was as soft as it said on the bottle. 

Kylo’s gaze burned into her the whole time. His hands remained on his helmet, but every so often, his eyes would flicker to her lips and she knew he wanted to have his hands anywhere but on that mask. 

For a panicked moment, Rey thought he was going to kiss her. How would she react to that? She had never been kissed before. Was there a proper way to do it? 

And this was Kylo Ren. She shouldn’t want to kiss him. Maybe they weren’t enemies anymore, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. 

She stepped away, loosening her grip on the mask. “We should probably go.” 

Kylo nodded, blinking away the last few moments as if they were nothing. He slid the mask on and suddenly it was so easy to forget anything except her anger and despair. When he had that thing on, Rey saw nothing but the monster.

**

Leia Organa was accustomed to difficulty. She had faced the Imperial Empire and won, for kriff’s sake. So why didn’t she know what to do about the Guavian Death Gang? 

There were too many factors to count. D’Qar had enough of a ground force to blast the gang’s ships from the sky. But with the amount the enemy had, there wasn’t a chance the Resistance wouldn’t suffer substantial losses. 

Then there were the First Order ships. If they were to attack the gang, the borrowed fleets would descend and wreak havoc on whatever remained. All while the Stormtroopers called for reinforcements. Leia feared they would have a full-blown invasion on their hands. 

Finn had once told her that the First Order didn’t have enough to attack them without the superweapon. That’s why they’d made the deal with the gang. Once the Guavians had destroyed half their forces, the First Order could finish them off. 

But if they did nothing, everyone would starve. 

It would happen slowly. For now, they had enough rations to last a month. Maybe two. The children would take priority, then the higher officials like herself. The first ones to die would be the staff, then the engineers, the pilots. It wouldn’t take long before children were left without families. Before Finn and Poe had to give up. 

Tears pricked in Leia’s eyes. She had come to see the two boys as her family. Not to mention Chewie, who would sacrifice himself before she went hungry. 

There was no way out of this one. 

“General?” 

Leia turned from the computer screen she had been blankly staring at to find Jessika Pava approaching. She had had very few encounters with the pilot, but as Poe’s friend and one of the sole survivors of Starkiller Base, Leia felt she could trust Pava. 

“What can I do for you, Jessika?” 

“Two things, general. Firstly, I have some pretty disturbing news.” Jessika’s expression told her that it was more horrifying, something Leia didn’t have the strength for right then. 

“Tell me.” 

Jessika swallowed. “One of our contacts on Arkanis, around the Stormtrooper Academy, was found dead this morning.” 

Leia sank onto the nearest stool. Death wasn’t anything new to her. And the news wouldn’t have been surprising if the contact had been old. The only conspirator they had on Arkanis was twenty-two. 

“How?” Leia cleared her throat. “Who?” 

“We don’t know, ma’am. But his body wasn’t in any state for the eyes.” 

The first culprit that came to mind was the First Order. Leia dismissed this immediately. Those monsters would have taken him prisoner, tortured him and thrown him to the dogs when they were done. His body might have been bloody, but if Jessika’s account was correct, it must have been someone else to have mutilated him like that. 

The problem was that there were too many people in the galaxy it could have been. 

Desperate for something to take her mind off the ever-growing pit of darkness, Leia asked, “And the second thing?” 

Jessika half-laughed. “Finn is freaking out about getting Rey back again.” 

Of course, Rey! How had she forgotten about her brother’s apprentice? Only a couple of days ago, Rey had been the Resistance’s first priority. But if they couldn’t get off the planet, there was nothing they could do. Somehow Leia knew the scavenger could take care of herself. 

The general rolled her eyes, an amused smirk spreading across her face. “Well, I had better go and calm him down then.”

**

Snoke was waiting for them in the conference room. His great form loomed eerily over the whole chamber, his eyes dark and a furrowed brow marring his already scarred face. 

Kylo hated this part. The silence. 

The Supreme Leader would say nothing for several minutes while he assessed the tone of the room. He was wise to do so, but it frightened his apprentice. If the air was amiable, Snoke was not averse to destroying it. And if Kylo was in a foul temper, Snoke would find it amusing to make it worse. 

Now, Kylo was neither. Instead he was concerned for the woman at his side. 

Rey was stoic, her face betraying no fear, just as he had told her. He was proud of her bravery, though he could feel the terror thundering in her heart. Everything she had been told of Snoke, everything she had experienced through him… Kylo was surprised she hadn’t run in the opposite direction. 

A thought struck him. Why hadn’t she run? By now, he thought she’d have taken the first opportunity she got to get off _The Finalizer_. 

If it hadn’t been for that wriggling feeling deep in his gut, he would have assumed it was because she could learn enough to beat him again. The other logical reason was that she was still on her self-righteous quest to take him home. Neither would explain that feeling. 

His cheek still burned from where she had touched him. It had been such a surprise that he was still processing it. Rey had only ever touched him like that once before, and then she had been delirious. This time she had been perfectly coherent. 

The way she had looked at him. No-one had ever looked at him like that before. Like she cared about him, despite their joke. Like there was something worth saving in him. 

Even his father hadn’t seen that when he had so affectionately touched Kylo’s cheek before plummeting to his death. Han loved him, Kylo knew that. But cynical as his father was, Han could never believe like Leia could. 

Rey was something different. Nothing like he had ever known. And he didn’t care what Snoke might do to him, Kylo would never let that light go out. 

“Kylo Ren.” The Supreme Leader’s booming voice made him start. 

Taking a deep breath, Kylo approached the hologram. He sank to one knee and bowed his head. When he rose, he said, “Supreme Leader, the girl’s training is going well. She has…” 

Snoke silenced him with a wave of the hand. He beckoned Rey with a finger, who tightened her cloak, gripped her staff and stalked forward. Anyone else would have seen a powerhouse, ready to deal the hand of death to whoever got in her way. 

In that moment, she had never looked so beautiful. 

“Skywalker’s prodigy.” Snoke didn’t deign to use her name, making Kylo bristle. She wasn’t an object for him to play with. “I see that you have accepted my apprentice as your master. Very good.” 

Rey didn’t reply, though her jaw hardened. 

“I wish to see.” 

She squared her shoulders, eyes squeezing shut to prepare for the onslaught. Kylo reached his mind out to her, and she allowed their energies to intertwine. 

_“Remember what I said: don’t fight him.”_

_“I won’t.”_ And she didn’t intend to. Every part of her mind relaxed. She was learning fast; keeping the walls up would only make it more painful. But Rey was wiser than to allow the Supreme Leader to see everything. She wouldn’t have to fight, because she would keep her darkest secrets behind a locked door buried deep in her mind.

Kylo knew Snoke would find that door. Maybe he would leave it alone, assuming it lead to her past like his did. Or maybe he would break it down. In which case, Kylo would do anything he could to protect those thoughts. Whatever Rey wanted to be kept secret would be kept secret. 

When Snoke finally invaded, Rey allowed him in, though she tensed when she felt the intrusion. She’d never had anyone except Kylo in her head before. 

Six months ago, when he’d used the mind probe, he had been gentle with her. It would have been a crime to hurt such a delicate creature as her. He doubted the developing Force bond would have let him anyway. 

Hearing his thoughts, Rey exerted a laugh into his mind, _“I’d hardly call me a delicate creature.”_

_“What would you prefer? ‘Dangerous when hungry’?”_ Rey laughed again. Good. At least it was taking her mind off Snoke. Kylo hurried to find another one. _“Or how about ‘the deadliest woman in the galaxy’?”_

Rey made a bemused sound, but it was clear she didn’t much appreciate that last one. After all, she had never killed anyone. He quickly added, _“To idiots who think of awful nicknames.”_

She chuckled. _“At least you know you’re an idiot.”_

_“Don’t tell anyone I said that.”_ Kylo grimaced, having a sudden thought of Hux calling him that for the rest of his life. 

“The two of you have quite the connection.” Snoke said, breaking their banter. Kylo snapped back to reality. He should have known Snoke would hear their conversation. “Good. That works in our favour.” 

Rage simmered just beneath the surface of Kylo’s control. He had worked too hard with her, come too far to allow Snoke to ruin the trust between them now. 

But Rey didn’t take his master’s words as a warning of his betrayal. Instead he felt anxiety. Worry that the door she had sealed was bursting open. What was she hiding? 

Addressing Rey, Snoke seemed impressed. “Ren was not wrong when he said you were talented at shielding your thoughts, girl. Unfortunately, he is not as skilled.” 

Pain lanced through Kylo’s head. He doubled over, screaming through the distortion of the mask. It pulsed inside his mind, stronger, stronger until the pathetic barriers were broken. Now Snoke could see everything. Everything from his ever-growing call to the light to his ever-growing pull to her. 

The Supreme Leader laughed, his cruel voice booming in his head. _“Such sentiment will get you killed, Ren.”_

Then, as if to spite him, Snoke pushed through his mind and into Rey’s again. Only this time he could see it all. Kylo had never looked, but the bond allowed him access to all parts of Rey’s consciousness. 

Out of his reality, as if in another universe, Kylo heard Rey scream. And he lost it. 

_“No! Don’t you dare touch her!”_ He snarled. For the first time, Kylo found the strength to push back against Snoke. He called every ounce of power left in him and shoved back against Snoke’s mind, tearing holes where he could. 

Soon enough, Rey stopped screaming, collapsing to her knees. The pressure on Kylo’s mind lifted, the blood gushing from his nose slowing to a trickle. But he couldn’t shake the feeling Snoke had backed off. What was he capable of if he fought back? 

When Kylo opened his eyes, the Supreme Leader was grinning. A predator with its teeth bared, ready to devour its prey. Sickness churned in Kylo’s stomach as he realised that surge of power had been darkness, pure and thick. 

Snoke had found a new way to torture him: hurt Rey, and the dark side would consume him forever.

**

Silence followed them with every step. It had to have been over an hour since they’d left the conference chamber, but neither of them could say a word. 

Rey wasn’t sure she had the strength to talk. Her body was still shaking, her head still aching. She had thought that first time was bad. Now she knew what Snoke was truly capable of. 

What Rey couldn’t decide was what caused her companion’s silence. Last time, he simply hadn’t wanted to talk about the ordeal. But last time Rey hadn’t been there, so that couldn’t be it. 

She hadn’t heard his words to his master. It was all blocked out by the burning agony pounding through her mind. All she knew was that if it weren’t for him, she could be dead now. 

When Snoke had mentioned their connection, Rey had been confused as to why he was laughing. To Snoke, she and Kylo were master and apprentice, perhaps friends but nothing more. 

Then she remembered how Snoke could see further into your thoughts than any other Force sensitive in the galaxy. He could see all the conflicting emotions in her heart, how her body reacted to Kylo, and – she suspected – how Kylo cared for her. 

_Maker,_ she thought, _he probably knows about Anakin._

If Snoke didn’t need him so badly, didn’t want her trained in the ways of the dark side, Kylo would have been torn apart from the inside for his defiance. 

Finally, she manged a sentence. “Thank you.” 

He still had his mask on, and with the bond closed off, Rey couldn’t feel anything from him. It was just… cold. 

“For what?” She shivered at the voice, dead and mangled through the regulator. 

“For kicking him out. I know that wouldn’t have been easy.” 

He glanced once at her, the hollow black eyes boring into her. 

“You're welcome.” 

Rey fell silent again. There were a thousand things she wanted to say: that she was sorry for bringing that on him, to ask what he had said to Snoke, to know what he was hiding from her. But nothing came to fruition. It all seemed so meaningless. 

So, she decided to go with something more worthless. “Do they have fruit on this ship?” 

“What?” His voice was incredulous. 

“Do they have fruit on this ship? Like the kind on Takodana?” 

“After everything that just happened, that’s what you want to know?” 

She shrugged and he sighed, “Yes, there is fruit. I’m sure I can get some for you, if that’s what you wish.” 

Rey grinned. It had been so long since she’d tasted her favourite food. “I think we should have a fruit banquet. That sounds wonderful.” 

“Why do you like fruit so much?” 

She was about to reply, but that goddamned mask was irritating her too much. Moving in front of him, she stood with her hands on her hips. He stopped dead in his tracks, rocking back on his heels a little. “I’m not talking to you unless you take that off.” 

Though she could tell he was rolling his eyes, Kylo obliged and slid the helmet off his head. In its wake, it left a crown of mussed dark hair that made Rey’s heart quiver. It was just like the first time they’d met. 

“Am I free to repeat my question now?” He said with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Go ahead.” Rey said, returning to his side. In a moment’s bravery, she looped her arm through his as they walked. While his arm tensed at first, he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Why do you like fruit so much?” 

“Don’t you?” 

“I do. But there are far better delicacies in the galaxy. Chocolate, for example.” He said the words as if reminiscing. Rey recalled seeing in his mind the image of a boy with blue sugar coating his lips. It was amusing to her that a man plagued by such darkness would have a sweet tooth. 

“I’ve never tried chocolate.” She replied, glancing over to see his expression. He was looking at her the way Finn had when she’d thought Luke Skywalker was a myth. To so many people, she was like an alien from another galaxy. 

“I think you would like it.” 

“They never had things like that on Jakku. I lived on bread and scraps of meat,” He already knew all this but as she spoke, he listened dutifully. “Before I got to Takodana, I’d never even seen a fruit. And it was the best thing I had ever tasted. Maybe that’s why I like it so much.” 

“Believe it or not, before I came here, I had never seen a holobook.” 

It was Rey’s turn to be surprised. Coming from a family like his, she would have assumed they had holobooks to spare. 

“But I thought…” 

“That we had lots?” Kylo nodded. “We did. My mother liked to read a lot in the years after I was born. And Skywalker had many in the Academy, but I was kept away from them. They were fearful of me discovering my true heritage.” 

Rey remembered Luke telling her about that. All his life Kylo had been shielded from who his family really were. Despite the outcomes, even then Rey had thought it was wrong to keep it a secret from him. Everyone deserved to know where they came from. 

She knew that better than anyone. 

She gave his arm a gentle squeeze, but he had already moved on. 

“I assume there were no books on a desert planet. How did you learn how to read?” 

Rey gave him a mischievous smirk. “You’d be surprised what you find in those old ships. I found hundreds of manuals over the years. I collected them all, and wrapped them up to protect them from the sand.” 

“Why didn’t you trade them? Those manuals could have given you a few months’ worth of food.” Kylo was frowning, and he was right. It was only logical to trade anything she could get her hands on to survive. 

“The same reason I didn’t trade my X-Wing Pilot’s helmet. Or my staff.” Her free hand involuntarily moved to rest affectionately on her staff. It was one of the only things she could never part with. “They were too precious for me to let go of.” 

Kylo nodded. For him, it would be like giving up his lightsaber. 

A strange sound interrupted their conversation. Kylo groaned at the soft noise, but Rey unlatched herself from his arm and peered around the corner. There, sat in the middle of the corridor licking its paw, was a ginger cat. 

Rey beamed. She had never seen a cat before and was instantly besotted. Without any regard to how the creature might react, she stooped forwards and bundled it up in her arms. “Where did you come from, little one?” She scratched the cat behind its ear. It purred and buried itself deeper in her arms. 

Kylo backed away from her when she brought the creature near him. As if in answer, the cat hissed at him. Rey chuckled, “Just ignore the nasty man over there. He won’t hurt you.” 

“Rey, that thing is not…” 

She scowled at him and he shut up. _Never been able to do that before,_ she thought with a smirk. 

“Ah!” The voice made Rey turn. It was new to her, but apparently one all too familiar to Kylo for he came up behind her, close enough to place a strong hand on the small of her back. The man that approached them was tall in stature, with ginger hair perfectly combed in place and a rigid posture. “You found her. I’ve been looking everywhere for Millicent.” 

The man took Millicent from Rey’s arms, giving her what she could only assume was an attempt at a smile before he noticed Kylo behind her. His expression set into one of harsh severity. It was clear by his lack of surprise that this man had seen Kylo without his mask on before. And judging by his official uniform, Rey figured this was the infamous General Hux. 

“Ren.” The redhead hissed. His bright blue eyes were like ice, and Rey began to doubt they had ever held warmth. 

“General Hux, what a pleasure.” Kylo’s voice dripped with venom. “I’d like you to meet…” 

“Rey, I assume.” Hux’s interruption made Kylo snarl behind her. The redhead stiffly extended an arm which Rey shook, making sure to keep her grip firm. Kylo had never mentioned the general, but Finn had always spoken of him with disdain. If her best friend despised the man, so would she. 

Hux lingered too long in the handshake, dragging Rey a little closer. She tried to fight against his grip but it was too strong. The Force within her squirmed, desperate to get away from this man. Rey knew she could make this man quiver with fear, and like Kylo standing protectively behind her, there was nothing she wanted more. 

_It is a weakness, Rey, to punish those who have done us wrong. We must show compassion._ She willed Luke’s voice from her head, but there it stayed. She wouldn’t harm Hux. It wasn’t the Jedi way. It wasn’t _her_ way. 

Her inner self grinned as she realised one day she would face this man on the battlefield. Then she could tear his insides apart. 

_No!_ This wasn’t her. That darkness was not her. It was just Kylo, seeping into her thoughts. Just his anger mixing with her fear. 

But the bond wasn’t open… 

Hux leaned in to whisper in her ear. Rey pulled back, but he held her firm. 

“Be careful of him, dear girl.” 

The redhead let her go and she stumbled back. Kylo caught her with a gentle hand on her back. The simple gesture put her instantly at ease. 

Hux backed away, a smirk on his mouth as he beheld Kylo. Rey twisted around to get a look at her companion. His expression was stony, rage curling his mouth into a sneer. In his eyes, Rey saw something different. Something stronger than hatred. 

Jealousy. 

“Ren.” Hux inclined his head and went on his way, Millicent purring in his arms. 

Rey tracked him until his shock of ginger hair disappeared around the corner. Then her eyes moved to Kylo. He wouldn’t look at her. 

Why was he jealous? Rey had suspected that his emotions for her went deeper than just the awkward friendship they had established. That he was struggling with what he felt like she was. 

Then she realised that she wasn’t the only one to suspect. Hux had held her close on purpose, whispered in her ear on purpose. To spite Kylo. Surely he would know that she hated the general. 

“We should return to my quarters. I suspect we will have a long day of training ahead of us tomorrow.” Kylo said quietly, still not meeting her eyes. 

Rey didn’t reply. She wanted to confront him about the Hux incident, though she knew that if she did, he would close off to her. Like every time they got closer to discussing something other than her Force abilities. 

So, she kept quiet, praying that one day he would show her everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like they've come so far in this chapter alone. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought :)


	13. When We Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's here! After a long wait, chapter thirteen.
> 
> Told entirely from Kylo's POV, this is (what I hope is) a beautiful chapter. One of my favourites to write, so I hope you love it as much as I do!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait! It's been agonising keeping it from you this long, but it took a long time to write and it took some editing too. Plus I went through a mini plot revision. So, I want to say thank you so much for being so patient with me. I hope it's worth it!  
> Thank you all for your support as well! You're all wonderful!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

He couldn’t sleep. Why couldn’t he sleep? 

Six years of murdering his way across the galaxy and sleep hadn’t eluded him once. Six years of enduring Snoke’s torture… He had nightmares. He would wake up gasping, drowning in his own sweat. But no longer than it took him to calm himself did slumber consume him again. 

Now Kylo Ren was padding towards his kitchenette, his bare feet slapping against the cold tile floor. He rummaged through the cupboards, not entirely sure of what he was searching for. Anything to keep him occupied. 

Anything to keep him from looking at the girl sleeping on his couch. 

He could hear every steady breath, the sound tingling his skin. Every so often she would roll over, squirming until she got comfortable again. Kylo had come to see her as something more than she was. In his eyes, she was a force of nature when in reality, she was just human. And it was those human actions that made her endearing. 

Made her the only normal thing in his life to keep him sane. 

Suddenly Kylo realised just why he couldn’t sleep. 

Whenever he closed his eyes, all he saw was Rey in his place before Snoke, barely able to stand, blood pouring from every crevice. All he heard was her screams. 

As a master, he was supposed to be indifferent to his apprentice’s pain. As a Knight of Ren, he was supposed to be apathetic to anyone’s pain. Stormtroopers didn’t bother him; striking down useless ones was part of his job. First Order officials had no impact, even Hux… _Especially_ Hux. 

But when it came to her all he could do was feel. It was all he could do not to protect her, to care about her more than he had cared about anything in a long, long time. 

Kylo slammed the cupboard door, prompting a groan from Rey. He grimaced, though she didn’t wake. What was happening to him? Snoke had beaten the compassion out of him a long time ago. The dark side drew power from rage and passion and pain. And yet he was never more powerful than when he was twined with her light. 

It was a trick. She was making him care for her, manipulating him into thinking she reciprocated these strange, awkward feelings. As much as Kylo didn’t want to believe it, what other explanation was there? She would succeed and then fulfil her vow, dragging him back to the mother he had no doubt hated him. To the uncle who would set his lightsaber upon his own nephew’s neck. 

Then she would take her place in the Resistance, finish her training with Skywalker, perhaps become the greatest Jedi the galaxy had seen. Maybe she would rewrite the rules to be with the traitor she was so friendly with, or the pilot. Or Hux. 

Kylo choked back on bile. No; Rey had more integrity than that. Hux was a sycophantic, pathetic excuse for a human being. Nothing worthy of a prize like her. 

The general had been so interested in her, pulling her in close. To his relief, Rey had seemed disgusted by the encounter, but Kylo couldn’t shake the image of Hux’s smarmy hands on her. This must have been what jealousy felt like. 

Glancing at her, features softer in her rest, Kylo realised he was being paranoid. Rey wasn’t manipulating him; she wasn’t cold or calculating enough. Whatever was going on within her, it was warm. Completely real. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, watching her chest rise and fall. It felt like minutes, though could have been hours. Long enough at least that when something changed, Kylo picked up on it instantly. 

She tossed herself over, eyes squeezing together, hands clawing at the cloak around her like she was suffocating. Tears started spilling down her cheeks, distressed whimpers getting higher and higher in pitch until a bloodcurdling scream broke free. Her eyes flew open in terror, and Kylo was across the room in seconds. 

Kneeling before her, Kylo placed two large hands on her arms, steady despite the fear pulsing through him. Rey gripped onto him, nails digging into his bare shoulders. Damn. He’d forgotten he was shirtless. 

Rey didn’t care as she scratched him desperately, trying to reach something that wasn’t there. Kylo moved his hands up to cup her face, wiping the tears from her cheeks with a thumb. “It’s okay.” He soothed. “It’s alright.” 

“No,” She sobbed, “No, he’s still there… Still there.” Her hands moved to her own scalp, scraping through her hair like she could dig him out. 

“No, Rey, he’s not. It’s okay,” He repeated, the fear in his voice intensifying. Darkness bubbled just below the surface, threatening to consume him. Snoke would never hurt her again… but he pushed that shadow deep into the pit of his heart. 

He grappled hold of her hands and forced them down. She resisted and gripped onto him again, as if holding onto him was her lifeline to reality. 

“It was just a dream. He can’t hurt you here.” Rey looked at him, really looked at him. Just the sound of his voice seemed to calm her down as she began to take deeper breaths. 

Rey swallowed. “You get them too.” She whispered. Kylo nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was such a mundane gesture that for a moment, Kylo forgot who they were. Rey’s eyes, more hazel than the brown he’d first assumed, never strayed from his. 

Rey’s hands slid over his shoulders, briefly brushing the hollow of his throat before settling at the nape of his neck. Her fingers worked the strands of his hair into loose knots, shaking as she tried to calm herself. 

The gentle caress of her hands against his bare skin made him shiver. Wherever her skin met his, heat followed. It scorched him from the inside out, penetrating deep into every muscle as he tried to keep himself under control. 

Desperate to distract himself, Kylo moved his hands to Rey’s wrists, gripping tight. Her fingers stopped moving and she focused on him again. They were so close. Close enough that he could feel her warm breath against his cheeks, pick out every fleck of green in her eyes. Mere inches apart. A gap he could so easily close… 

No. 

Kylo pulled away, forcing her hands from around his neck. He stood on uneasy feet, almost stumbling backward. The loss of contact took them both by surprise. The air in his lungs wheezed out in an aching gasp, while Rey’s body went stiff, heart contracting painfully. It was difficult to tell whose hurt was whose. 

“You should probably go back to sleep.” Kylo muttered, keeping his distance. 

Rey pushed herself up, back rigid against the couch, and shook her head. “I don’t think I can.” 

He would have insisted, but she was right. After her first time with Snoke, it was likely she wouldn’t rest properly for weeks. 

As he watched her, Kylo had an idea. Her shoulders were rippling with tension, her fingers shaking violently in her lap. When she looked up, her eyes had grown cold. She needed to take her mind off it. 

And Kylo had the perfect way to do it.

**

“Where are we going?” Rey asked for what felt like the billionth time. 

Kylo grumbled, his hand tugging her along. “I told you. You’ll find out when we get there.” 

Why did she have to be so difficult? 

The idea had come to him like a lightbulb. Over the past few weeks, Kylo had noticed more and more that Rey was like him. That she was impulsive, brash, unerringly hungry for knowledge. And that the best way to calm her down was for her to smash everything around her to pieces. 

“It’s the middle of the night, you know.” She quipped as she strained against his grip. He loosened his hold but she kept jerking away. Eventually he let her go completely, realising she didn’t like having her hand held. 

“If it wasn’t, we’d have Stormtroopers on our tail right now. All of them following like hungry dogs.” Kylo huffed, just imagining it. When he glanced behind him, though, Rey’s brow was scrunched up in confusion. “They’ve never seen my face before.” 

“Right.” She muttered before asking, “Won’t it be strange that we’re wandering round at night, though?” 

Kylo shook his head. “We’re not wandering. As far as anyone’s concerned, I’m taking you to the training room. Hux might question it – in fact he will. But all he’ll know is that I’m giving you late night lessons.” 

Rey caught up with him, falling into place beside him. What she lacked in height – and therefore stride – she more than made up for in speed. “So, what _are_ we doing?” 

He looked over at her, seeing the mischievous glint in her eye and couldn’t help but grin. “I find the easiest way to fall asleep is to have let off some steam.” 

She raised an eyebrow, but that sparkle didn’t disappear. Inside her head, Kylo saw flashes of everything she could imagine they would be doing at so late an hour. Some mundane, like enhancing her telekinesis abilities, and others… Much less innocent. 

He almost voiced his opinion on that, but her cheeks were flushed, the blush too fierce to warrant further embarrassment. Kylo couldn’t deny he hadn’t thought of such things before, and seeing them in her mind, vivid and fleeting, made warmth spread through him. 

Kylo put any notion of it out of his head. That wouldn’t be happening tonight. 

They rounded a corner, finally reaching the training room. He punched in the code, acutely aware of how close Rey was behind him. When he spoke again, Rey didn’t appear to notice how he had to clear his throat several times before the words emerged, “Put your staff down over there. You won’t be needing it.” 

She hesitated, slowly taking the weapon from across her back. As Kylo unlatched two objects from the wall, however, she was quick to lay it down. Then she let her cloak slide off her shoulders. 

Kylo held one of the objects – a training saber – out to her. Rey shot out a hand in front of her, already knowing what he wanted her to do. Unlike before, her brow didn’t furrow, her eyes didn’t harden, her fingers didn’t contract with the strain. Instead she was perfectly relaxed, and within moments the saber had flown into her grip. 

She grinned at how easily it had come without anger and pain surging her power. Without fearing for her life. He saw the silent gratitude in her eyes; she never would have succeeded if not for his coaching. 

Raw power like hers needed to be coaxed out, tamed like the wild force it was. Not pushed like Skywalker would have done. Only he understood that; he’d been the same. 

Kylo ignited his saber, the white plasma burning hot beside him. He moved into the training space as Rey ignited hers and followed. Twirling the saber in his hands, Kylo got a feel for the weapon. It was lighter than his own lightsaber, and less powerful. The thin hilt felt foreign in his hand. It was too small in his paw-like hands. 

With his back still to Rey, Kylo stopped. She followed suit and waited for him to turn and instruct her. But she didn’t need instruction. 

Kylo whirled, bringing his saber down in an arc towards Rey. Startled, Rey stumbled back, narrowly parrying the blow. 

She blocked the next and the next, though he forced her backwards. When he swung low, she jumped and sliced her saber downwards. When he arced upwards, she ducked and rolled, sparks flying as their sabers connected again. 

Not once did she take the offensive. Although Kylo had far exceeded her in combat skills during his malicious personal training, her tactic took him by surprise. On Starkiller, all she had done was attack. 

There was no fear on her face as she parried. She had another plan. 

Curious to see how she played it out, Kylo refrained from peering into her head, rather keeping to his own tactic of driving her backward. 

Rey sidestepped his attack, driving him back with a carefully placed swing. He smirked. The battle was getting to her now. It wouldn’t be long before she unleashed the fury he’d beheld on Starkiller. 

Retaliating, Kylo plunged his saber forward. She caught the blow with hers, holding the sabers together between them. Kylo forced her back a few steps until her back collided with the wall. A grin spread across her face, the pulsating white energy wall lighting up her whole face. 

_Interesting,_ he thought, _last time she wasn’t as happy about this._

Then again, the last time they had fought was in a dream. And she had been up against a tree, grinning. 

Kylo felt the Force twitch in her, growing and spreading. It filled him with its light. It burned, singeing his tainted soul, but it was so warm… 

Her eyes fluttered closed as she let her power consume the world around her, drawing everything in. She reached inside his mind, twining her energy with his. 

They had woven their power together only twice before. Once here, in the training room. The other on Starkiller. This time, it felt more like the latter. 

This was going to be good. 

When Rey finally opened her eyes, she shoved against him with both her arms and her mind. He fell backwards, taken aback by her strength. But as he collected himself enough to fight back, she clicked her saber off. 

Confusion seeped through him. What was the point in the battle meditation if she was only going to stop? 

A laugh slipped free of her lips. Kylo frowned at her, conceding and clicking off his saber. Only then did he notice the chunkier, heavier hilt in her hand. 

“Kriff,” He muttered. How had she…? 

He didn’t have time to consider it before she ignited the lightsaber, the red plasma flaring in three directions, and was swinging it towards him. His training saber was lit in a flash, arcing up to parry her attack. 

She moved like a whirlwind. A tempest of rage, energy and passion. Skills like his would have been unparalleled by anyone else. He was faster, stronger; an agent of Death himself. And she was a goddess. 

Her connection to the Force ran deeper than anyone he’d known. Even Skywalker. While she wasn’t as advanced in combat, the Force guided her. That was all she needed. 

They fought like that for a while, dancing back and forth around each other’s sabers. The collision of crimson and white created a show that sizzled like a coral sunset. Blocking against his own lightsaber was strange enough, almost impossible with his pitiful excuse for a weapon. Stranger to see how she enjoyed the swing of it. 

For a moment, an image flickered through his head. A picture of that red shaft arcing towards him as he knelt in the gravel, bowing his head and surrendering himself to the blow. He felt the fear, the anguish of those final moments. By the Maker, what had he become? 

Rey took advantage of his musings. She advanced, blocking one of his half-hearted attacks and as he stepped back, she brought his lightsaber round, spinning in a perfect replica of his own movements. It was dazzling to see that grace at work. Bringing the saber down, she aimed lower than the white shaft of his saber, slicing clean through the hilt. 

The saber clattered to the ground with a pathetic thump. _Kriff!_ He thought, ducking her swipe upwards. The saber passed just inches from his face, reminding him too much of the agony that rippled through him when she cleaved his face in two. 

This time she didn’t touch him, though the end of the lightsaber, showering sparks everywhere, remained pointed in his direction. When he peered around the immediate danger, she was smiling. 

A tired smile; a breathless smile. But one that made her glow like the stars. 

Holding up his hands in mock surrender, Kylo gave her an impressed smirk around his lungs’ gasping for air. Rey lowered the lightsaber and clicked it off, taking a few steps back. 

_Not so fast._ Kylo shot one hand out before Rey noticed, the object coming to him in an instant. He closed his fingers around the grip, bowed and swiped the feet out from under his opponent. 

Rey tumbled to the ground, colliding with the mats beneath her with a painful thud. She pushed herself up on her elbows, rolling her shoulders to test the ache, only to find herself face to face with the end of her staff. 

“I’d say that’s a win for me.” Kylo quirked an eyebrow in amusement. 

“You surrendered first!” She shot back. 

“Combat lesson one: never lower your weapon or turn your back.” She glared at him, though he continued, “And I was distracted.” 

Rey tried to uphold her scowl. But it was all she could do for the corners of her mouth no to curl upwards. “Oh, _that’s_ your excuse.” 

She reached out and grabbed the end of her staff, pulling herself up until she had to crane her neck to look at him. Their bodies collided in the process, and she stumbled backwards, almost falling straight back down. 

Kylo followed her, dropping the staff and curling an arm around her. To keep herself steady, Rey planted her hands on Kylo’s chest as he righted her. 

There it was again. That heat. That feeling of the galaxy melting away around them. 

“Kylo…” She whispered. The way she said his name – like she was testing its texture for the first time, finding it soft and gentle. It sent shivers through him. 

“Yes?” 

Her eyes met his. There were words there, whorls of ancient scripture. Words she couldn’t find the strength to say. 

Shaking her head, she settled with, “Thank you. I needed that.” 

Kylo nodded stiffly, removing his arm from around her waist. “We should get back.” 

He scooped up his lightsaber as she knelt to strap her staff across her back. But just as he moved to leave, she spoke, “Actually, I, uh… well I won’t be able to sleep when we get back. Nightmares and all,” Rey lowered her eyes as she continued, “And I’ve never slept as well as I did when you did that thing…” She waved her hand around her head. 

Shock struck him, though he managed to keep his voice indifferent, “You want me to put you in a Force sleep?” 

She nodded slowly, as if just realising what she’d asked of him. A Force sleep was a considerably dark side trick. One that, even if she could do it on herself, she would never perform. 

Kylo considered for a moment. He’d promised not to teach her the dark side, and within that, not to inflict its abilities on her. But when he looked at her, Kylo saw nothing but fear. She would do anything to keep those nightmares away. 

“Alright.” 

Approaching, Rey slipped her staff from around her shoulders and thrust it out towards him. When he reached out for it, she brought it back a little. _She really doesn’t like to let go of it,_ he mused. 

He tried again, managing to take hold of the grip, and as she considered his eyes, Kylo hoped she saw that she could trust him. A moment passed and she let go. 

Allowing himself a slight smirk, Kylo swung the strap across his body. Rey had wandered across to the other side of the training room where her cloak lay in a bundle on the floor. Crouching, she gently wrapped her hands in the material, savouring its warmth. A warmth he could feel on his own fingers. 

That was going to be another treasure she never let go of. 

Wrapping it around her shoulders, Rey returned to him and squared her shoulders. He searched her face for any doubt, but she gave him a stiff nod. Taking a breath, he whispered, “Close your eyes.” 

Rey obliged. His hand lifted and hovered by her cheek before she gave an annoyed snort. Rolling his eyes, Kylo flicked his wrist and she collapsed into his arms. 

**

Carrying her back to his chambers, Kylo savoured her warmth against his chest. While her legs hung limply across one arm, her head rested against his heart and he’d made sure to throw one of her arms around his neck. 

He was grateful that no-one was around this late to see them. It was too intimate a moment to share with any disapproving eyes. When they passed a reflective panel in the wall, what he saw was not a Knight of Ren carrying his apprentice. It was a man, broken and beaten down by the galaxy, with the only woman who could put him back together. It was the image he wanted to see over and over again. For the rest of his life. 

Getting into his quarters proved particularly difficult with Rey in his arms. He shuffled her legs further up his arms so he could just reach the control pad. The door slid open and he slipped inside. Despite her light weight, carrying her all that way had taken its toll on his muscles. So, he was grateful when he laid her gently down on the couch. 

Her breathing was steady, her eyes fluttering every so often in her sleep. She shivered a little, pulling her cloak tighter around her. He rose, careful not to wake her, and crossed to the closet, where several spare blankets lay folded up. Plucking one down, he returned to her side and laid it gently across her body. Then he Force pulled one of his pillows to him before softly lifting her head up and sliding it beneath. 

She curled up and buried her head in the pillow. Kylo gazed fondly at her, unable to resist tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She stirred at his touch, leaning towards it. A soft smile graced her face when her cheek met his fingers. 

The moment in the training room came back to him. Knowing the words were there, unspoken and buried, but there – it was almost more than Kylo could bear. They were stuffed down inside him too, threatening to spill at any moment. How she had made him care again. How much he needed her light. 

How she had shown him how to be the man his grandfather would be proud of. 

A burst of courage shot through him and he leaned forward. His lips caressed her forehead for less than a heartbeat, but the sensation sent shockwaves through his veins. 

When he pulled away, realisation struck him. A truth that hit him harder than his grandfather’s true wish; than the strength of the light within him; even than how he cared for this scavenger girl, and how she cared for him too. 

Kylo Ren loved her. 

And that’s why he had to tell her about D’Qar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... How about that ending, huh?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to let me know what you thought.
> 
> I promise chapter fourteen will come sooner. And it'll be well worth waiting for (hmm, I wonder why...)


	14. Lost in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter fourteen finally done! This one's a little different to previous ones, but I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say, as I always do, thank you for your constant support and patience. It's wonderful to have so many amazing people reading this!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

_The forest was alive._

_Night swirled like black ink through the trees, the underbrush, down from the sky. Diamonds of starlight sparkled on that onyx canvass, challenged in its beauty only by the fire breathing life through the forest._

_It crackled not twenty feet from where Rey stood. She leant against a tree, watching as the flames devoured the wood beneath. A partner to the trees whose branches swayed around it, the bonfire danced along to the music flowing around the camp._

_Oh, what music! Rey had never heard anything like it before. It was a song of miracles, of hopes long forsaken but finally found. It was a song of triumph._

_The music called to her, beckoned her to come closer. Obeying its hypnotic command, Rey stepped forward. It was an effort not to sprint towards it, and Maker damn her, she moved too fast across the forest floor, scraping her bare legs against the sharp foliage._

__Wait. _Bare legs. Rey looked down. She was indeed clothed in her usual attire. The beige cut-offs, grey vest and boots. Not the black training robes._

_Another Force dream._

_But where was Kylo? Shouldn’t he be there?_

_Just as the question formed in her mind, something crunched behind her. Whipping around, Rey braced herself, fingers instantly grasping for the staff at her back –_

_She froze. Her body seized up, unable to move even an inch. She managed to draw in a sharp breath as she beheld the figure approaching her. They moved like smoke on water, gliding through the underbrush, cloaked entirely in darkness._

_But when she heard the voice, Rey relaxed._

_“Wouldn’t want you attacking me at such a happy event.” Kylo emerged from the shadows, a smirk playing on his lips. He waved his hand and she was released. Finding her fingers intact, Rey gave him a vulgar gesture that only prompted a chuckle._

_“Shall we?” Kylo held an arm out._

_Rey took it with a tentative hand. Something was amiss. In the way he smiled with more warmth than before; the way he didn’t tense up when she touched him. Then it hit her: the real Kylo would never have willingly taken her to a celebration like this._

_He chuckled beside her. “Before you pull away, I_ am _the real Kylo. But this isn’t real; it’s just a dream.”_

_“You… You can hear me?” But she had the bond closed._

_“Every word.” He cast her a sidelong glance, only to see her brows knotted together. “It’s a Force dream, Rey. We’re Force-bonded; in here, I can hear everything you say. Just like you can hear everything in my head.”_

_He wasn’t wrong. When she pushed through the mental barriers, she found his mind completely open to her. Not wanting to rummage into parts he normally kept behind tightly locked doors, Rey prodded at the first part of his consciousness._

__“See? Now you can hear everything.” _His voice echoed in her mind._

_“I’m not sure I want to see all the things in your mind.” Rey remarked, quirking an eyebrow at him._

_Kylo laughed softly, though a little of the light winked out in his eyes. “Trust me, I don’t have those kinds of thoughts.”_

_An advantage, Rey discovered, of having the walls down: she would always know when he was lying._

_She allowed herself a little smile, but kept her mouth shut. Every day, he seemed more and more human. Less like the monster she had met on Starkiller._

_Now that she thought about it, and while she couldn’t excuse everything he had done, Rey knew that it was a miracle she hadn’t become a monster herself. They had both been lost, afraid, shunned by the galaxy. She had only dealt with it better._

_The lips at her ear had her sucking in a breath. “It’s nice to know you don’t hate me anymore.”_

__Damn. _She thought. He’d heard her again._

_When she moved her head to face him, Rey found their foreheads almost touching. His normally cold obsidian eyes were filled with warmth. Kylo pulled away before her heart got the better of her._

_She gave his arm a gentle squeeze as they continued onwards. Heat spread over Rey’s skin as they approached the clearing, the fire building to a crescendo with the music, and when the harmony cut out, the flames crashed back down. Untangling herself from Kylo, Rey dashed forward, stopping at the edge to stare at the beauty._

_The bonfire sat in a shallow pit, carved benches in a circle around it. Sat atop those benches were small bear-like creatures, leather hoods adorning their heads. The clearing was surrounded by enormous, thick-trunked trees that housed tree cabins built deep into the foliage. On the balconies and rickety walkways between them, the creatures tapped their feet along to the music._

_The same creatures danced in the clearing before the band. Along with…_

_“Luke.” The name was barely a whisper. Her master’s name felt foreign on Rey’s lips, just like the smile on his face._

_In all the time they had spent together, Rey hadn’t once seen Luke with a grin that wide. Or that young. His hair shone like dusted gold in the firelight, not the matted grey as it was now. His eyes were bluer, happier. It was amazing; Luke had faced the Empire and watched his father die in his arms, and he could still smile. But when his own nephew turned against him…_

_Rey spun to find Kylo lurking in the shadows, his gaze fixed on the scene before him. She followed his stare, past the Ewoks, past Luke, to the couple dancing across the way. The woman’s arms were wrapped around the man’s neck. Her hair flowed like liquid chocolate as the man spun her around, both with massive smiles on their faces. They couldn’t have looked more in love._

_Han and Leia._

_Kylo’s attention never faltered from his parents, pain flashing through his mind. With a jolt, she realised it was the first time he had seen his mother in over six years. And this wasn’t even her. If Leia turned around now, she wouldn’t recognise either of them._

_Then… Han. It was the first time he’d seen his father since…_

_The agony ripping its way through his heart was splitting. Kylo had his arms crossed, his eyes downcast as he shifted from foot to foot. This was the last thing he needed._

_Rey knew she could never forget what he had done, and had found it so hard for so long to forgive him. But no matter how much she wanted to hate him for it, Kylo couldn’t have stopped it from happening. The only one to blame was Snoke – if he hadn’t done it, Kylo would likely have been dead now by his master’s hand. But Snoke had dealt him worse cards than death: now he had to live with that crushing guilt forever._

_Moving towards him, Rey reached out with her mind, sending calming waves towards him. The other end of the bond was silent, shut off from her and he didn’t even look up when she stopped in front of him. Rey hooked a finger under his chin and forced it up. When his eyes met hers, they were swimming._

_She gave him a small smile, willing him to blink back those tears. She had never seen him cry before. Before, she might have laughed; this time she feared she would break down with him._

__Think, _her inner voice willed,_ think. Say something.

_“The princess and the scoundrel, huh?” She chuckled._

_Kylo’s lip trembled slightly as he tried to smile. Rey laid a hand on his cheek, her thumb grazing his scar. “It looks like they loved each other very much.”_

_He managed a pained laugh as he said, “He was never good enough for my mother.”_

_Rey would have shoved anyone else away for a comment like that. Han – while she imagined him to be a pain in the arse for Leia – was a good man. But Kylo didn’t mean what he said. The way he looked at his parents: with longing and years of memories Rey would never share…_

_Rey didn’t notice as Kylo’s eyes went wide for a second. But when she turned back to him, there was a newfound light in his eyes. Shaking his head, Kylo composed himself, his mouth splitting into a half-hearted grin. “Come on, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”_

_She let him grasp her hand and tug her along behind him. Normally she hated being hauled off by big hands. Memories of a thick, alien arm almost pulling her arm out of its socket with its strength sent shivers ratcheting up her spine. It was why she had pulled away from Finn on Jakku, why she had been desperate for Kylo to loosen his grip the night before.  
But having his hand, strong and gentle in hers, sent warmth flooding through her veins. For a moment, she wondered what those tender hands could do elsewhere on her body – _

_Kylo led her around the edge of the clearing, weaving through the shadows dancing on the floor from the blazing fire. It was so close that Rey had a sudden vision of being back on Jakku, in her sweatbox of a home, trying to sleep as the thunderous beat of the sandstorm crashed into the metal walls._

_On the other side of the bonfire, Kylo stopped just behind a tree, peering around it. Rey’s brow furrowed. What_ was _he doing?_

_She peered around his shoulder to see Luke lingering at the edge of the party. It looked like he was talking to someone but no-one was there. At least there wasn’t until Rey spied the ethereal blue glow surrounding three figures in front of him._

_Force ghosts._

_Rey had to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from gasping as she beheld the ghosts. The one in the middle was considerably shorter than those flanking him; an alien with wrinkled green skin and big ears, wrapped in Jedi robes and a walking stick in hand. Master Yoda._

_Luke had once told her about his old master. That Yoda was wise, possibly the wisest of all the Jedi. She wondered what it would have been like to learn from him._

_To the Jedi Master’s left stood a human man in the same robes as his counterpart. He was older than Luke was, even now, with white hair and a beard. Rey didn’t recognise the man, but something in her stirred at the sight of him. It was as if she knew him, without having ever met him._

_The one that stood out the most, however, was the young man to Yoda’s right. He was tall, lean, and decidedly handsome. With shoulder-length dark hair, piercing blue eyes and scar through his right eyebrow, Rey couldn’t help but draw comparisons to the man whose hand she still held._

_Anakin Skywalker._

_Kylo’s grandfather spotted them the moment Luke turned away. He grinned at them, calling to them with a jerk of his head. Kylo glanced at Rey, a question in his eyes. She nodded and he set off in the ghosts’ direction._

_As they neared, Rey shook Kylo’s grip away. He barely noticed once he stopped in front of his grandfather. Kylo glanced briefly over the Jedi Master and his companion before settling his gaze on Anakin._

_His countenance was neither awe-filled, nor afraid. Rather it was anxious. Rey read in his mind that he was waiting for Anakin to approve of her. His grandfather grinned and gave a slight nod, before turning to her._

_“How wonderful it is to finally meet you, Rey.” Anakin smiled. “I hope my grandson hasn’t been giving you too much trouble.”_

_Kylo snorted beside her, but Rey smiled warmly. “Kylo has been quite welcoming to me.”_

_Anakin beamed, but not before Rey could catch the slight roll of his eyes. “I am glad to hear it. I assume Ben has told you about our little conversation?”_

_Ben. It had been so long since Rey had heard that name aloud. Ben, she tested it in her head and found its sound far more pleasing than Kylo._

_He had once threatened, however emptily, to kill her if she ever called him that. It seemed his grandfather had no restriction; perhaps that name would be coming out once or twice._

_“Yes,” She replied, glancing at Kylo to find him glowering at Anakin before continuing, “And I must say you gave him some wonderful advice.”_

_Kylo choked. Rey couldn’t help but giggle, though she wondered what his problem was. His grandfather’s advice was reasonable, if not commendable, and he knew it._

_“You seem confused, Rey. Perhaps you’ll let me elaborate.” Anakin quirked an eyebrow at his grandson, whose glare intensified. What was he hiding? “You see, my grandson has not told you all of what I said to him.”_

_Rey cast a glance at her companion, anger bubbling to the surface. But before the cutting words could escape, Anakin continued, “I did of course tell him that this path is not the right one. I told him that turning to the dark side was the greatest mistake of my life. And that you, dear Rey, shall be his salvation.”_

__What? _Rey gaped at him. He couldn’t be saying… Could he?_

_Of course! Now it all made sense. Why he was teaching her, promising things Snoke would kill him for, giving her everything she needed. Some cynical part of her mused that he took his grandfather’s words too literally, and was using her as a path to redemption. But her heart was somersaulting in her chest, her mind spinning. And when she beheld Kylo, the pain in his eyes, the confession… She saw a truth that took her breath away._

_Kylo appeared very interested in his hands when Rey approached. He didn’t look at her, not even as she said, “Is this true?”_

_He shrugged. Something in Rey growled at that. Why couldn’t he ever just be straightforward with her?_

_“Kylo,” Nothing. Harsher, she pushed, “Ben Solo, is this true?”_

_The rage in Kylo’s eyes sparked. He really hated that name. “Does it matter?” He spat and walked away._

__No. Not again. _She stormed after him._ You’re not getting away from me this time.

_“Why do you always do that?” She yelled when they were halfway into the forest. Darkness enveloped them, just as the darkness swelled in her mind. His or hers… She couldn’t tell anymore._

_Kylo stopped, forcing Rey to skid to a halt behind him. He glared over his shoulder and growled, “Do what?”_

_“We get so close, so close to being something other than enemies, or friends, or whatever this is,” She gestured between them, feeling the anger turn to agony, closing up her throat. “And then you push me away. Every time._

_“What is it? Are you afraid of feeling the light? Of coming home to the family that loves you.” Kylo opened his mouth to reply, but she interrupted, “That’s right,_ loves _you. They don’t hate you, they don’t want you dead. They_ want you back _.” Her voice rose to a crescendo as she fought to get the last words out, “Or are you so afraid of someone caring about you because you don’t feel like you deserve it?”_

_Something stirred in him. Yes, anything but this awful silence. “You think that’s what I’m afraid of?” His voice was low, dangerous. “I do not fear the light. I do not fear my family. And I do not fear someone caring about me, though I think they are insane for doing so.” Lies. Lies. Lies. Tears pricked in her eyes as he whirled, advancing on her, “I do not fear those things. I do not fear the nightmares that wake me in the middle of the night. I do not even fear Snoke. Not anymore._

_"What I fear, Rey, is you.”_

_“Me?” She choked back on the tears threatening to spill. She would_ not _look weak. “How can you be afraid of me? It’s not possible –”_

_The words were consumed by his lips colliding with hers. She barely registered the sudden touch, the sudden caress of his mouth against hers, hard and unyielding. But when the kiss deepened, begging her to kiss him back, her world exploded into starlight._

_Kylo pulled back slightly, panting for air. “That’s why.” He whispered._

_Rey grasped onto him, her nails digging into his shoulders. “Do that again.”_

_He smirked and kissed her again. Her body reacted in ways she never knew it could. Heat seared through her veins, pooling below her stomach._

_Opening her mouth to him, Rey gasped as his hands moved to her waist, fingers playing with the edge of her tunic. So many unanswered questions, so many lies and deceits, so many painful memories: none of them mattered when he was touching her._

_No part of her was begging her to stop, as it should. No part of her was telling her this was wrong. How could it be, when nothing had ever felt so right?_

_She had never needed anything more. And it was only when his hands travelled lower, grazing her thighs, that she realised it wasn’t enough. She still needed…_

_Her fingers tangled in his hair and she moaned a little as their tongues tentatively met. No, she was doing it wrong. She’d never done this before; how could she think she was doing it flawlessly?_

_But even as the thought coursed through her head, Kylo gripped her tighter, kissing her harder. Kissing her like she was air and he was the one drowning in that lake. It went on for what felt like hours. Her lungs burned and her knees started to buckle, but she never wanted it to end. She would give up the galaxy to stay in his arms._

_When he finally let go, Rey’s heart contracted at the loss, her lips searching for his. But he laid his forehead against hers, his warm breath tickling her cheeks. “Rey,” He breathed. Oh, she loved the sound of her name on his lips. “There’s something we should talk about.”_

_“Shh.” She whispered back, trailing a finger across his bee-stung lips. How beautiful they were. What incredible things they could do. For a moment, she wondered what incredible things he could do with his tongue. “Not now.”_

_The last thing she wanted was for words to ruin this perfect moment. And perhaps that moment was a mistake. And perhaps when they woke up, it would be forgotten. For now, though, it was enough._

_**_

_Anakin Skywalker smirked, ignoring the whispers of his old master and Yoda behind him. He didn’t care that it was ‘weird’ to be spying on his grandson’s first kiss. It was all he’d ever wanted for the boy._

_“You know, Anakin, there’s a reason I didn’t spy on you and Padmé.” Obi-Wan said from behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “It’s called invasion of privacy.”_

_Anakin chuckled, turning back to his old master. Obi-Wan had changed into his younger ghost form since Ben and Rey had left. Now he was the Obi-Wan Anakin remembered most. If only that final memory hadn’t been the moment they’d lost each other._

_“Oh, come on, Obi-Wan. Aren’t you at least a little curious about your granddaughter’s love life?” Anakin quirked an eyebrow._

_Obi-Wan smiled. “She deserves this. After all she’s been through… She deserves to have someone who loves her as much as he does.”_

_Anakin placed a hand on his former master’s shoulder. Obi-Wan had always watched over Rey, from the moment she was born. And to watch his granddaughter abandoned, abused, close to starvation… It was more than the Jedi Master could bear._

_Obi-Wan had never told his apprentice who the girl’s parents were. The Jedi Code had always been something he deeply respected, and to have broken it, Anakin imagined the woman had been quite something._

_The reason for his silence, Anakin wasn’t sure; he doubted Obi-Wan was ashamed of having children of his own – in fact, the Jedi Master was far too compassionate for his kindness to go to waste on anyone but children. Instead, he suspected Obi-Wan barely knew himself, perhaps having only found out when he was far too old to form a relationship with them._

_Anakin couldn’t blame his former master for wanting the best for his only living relative. But he said, “You’ll never get to know her if you don’t speak to her.”_

_“I will speak to her.” Obi-Wan replied quickly, then sighed, “When the time is right. At this moment, she needs to believe that she has no family. I must only guide her when she needs it, and I fear she will need it very soon.” He raised his eyes to the sky as if he could see the future in the stars. “Besides, when she saw me, I know she felt the connection.”_

_Anakin nodded, knowing the feeling all too well. From the first moment he saw Luke and Leia, there had been no doubt they shared blood._

_He turned back to the couple, now no longer wrapped in each other’s kisses. Watching them, he realised why he had been so desperate to push them together. Not only did he want Ben to not make the mistakes he made so long ago, Rey resembled Padmé in her look, air and spirit._

_A perfect match._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this chapter was worth the wait!
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought (especially about the kiss as I've never written a kiss scene before)!


	15. Moonage Daydream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the dream. Let the awkwardness ensue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so, so sorry for the long wait! I cannot apologise enough; it's been nearly a month, what with Christmas and my mock exams, so I hope this chapter's worth the wait. Thank you so much for your patience, and also your support, as always. It means so much to me that you are all still here after so long! I love you all, my wonderful readers!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

The roar of engines woke Finn from his fitful night’s sleep. 

It had been almost three days since the Guavian Death Gang arrived, along with their armada of First Order vessels. And it had been the most hellish three days of Finn’s life. He couldn’t sleep, whether from fear or the hunger plaguing his belly. The food stocks were slowly running out, since the Resistance kept only enough to last a week, and no matter how much his stomach rumbled, Finn couldn’t eat a scrap that would do more good in the mouth of a child. 

Sometimes, when he actually managed to sleep, Finn dreamed of those vessels turning and firing at the base. Explosions of singed metal, blood running down the window panes – those images were nothing compared to the horror when he glanced himself in that glass. He was not Finn anymore. He was FN-2187. 

It was enough to shake him awake. But sometimes it was worse; sometimes he’d see Rey, in dark robes, electric gold eyes sparking beside the red lightsaber in her hand, that monster’s fingers gripping her shoulder. She would grin at him, twirling her saber, before swinging down. Only it wouldn’t hit him. It would hit the pilot at his side. 

And Poe’s head would go rolling across the tarmac. 

Then Finn would wake up screaming. Only to find Poe’s hands gripping his shoulders, begging him to stop, perfectly safe. Perfectly alive. 

Poe was now leaning against his shoulder, heavy breaths shuddering through him as he slept. Finn still didn’t have his own quarters at the base, so he spent his nights sleeping in the armchair in Poe’s rooms. But since the nightmares started, Poe slept beside him on the sofa after Finn refused to get in the bed, not wanting things to get any more awkward after their encounter with Bala-Tik. 

He nudged an elbow into Poe’s side, hard enough to jerk him awake, reaching for the blaster under the sofa. When the bleary-eyed pilot realised there was no danger, Finn received the look of death. It was difficult enough for Poe to sleep too, what with him sacrificing almost all his rations to Finn. He tried to refuse, but the pilot would have none of it, saving only a few scraps for himself. 

“Sorry,” Finn winced as Poe snorted. “But listen.” 

Poe raised an eyebrow in question, but inclined his head upwards anyway. They both strained to hear the rumble far above, but there was no mistaking it: First Order transporter engines. 

They were both up in an instant. Finn tugged on his jacket, Poe grabbing the blaster and attaching it to his waist. Finn grabbed his own as they hurried out of the room, Poe already calling to the general on his comm link. 

Poe’s quarters were a level below the general’s, part of the pilot’s sector – less luxurious and with no windows, but Poe seemed to like it. If Finn got his way, he would end up with one like Rey’s – large, out-of-the-way and with plenty of windows. 

Leia burst through her own door the moment they came upon her quarters. Her hair was dishevelled and Finn could have sworn he smelled whiskey on her. Even if he were brave enough to mention it, the general scowled at him so fiercely that his lips clamped shut. 

Their little crusade was joined by Luke, his lightsaber clutched so hard in his metal hand Finn thought it would snap, and BB-8, the droid beeping frantically as it rolled beside Poe. “Yes, I know, buddy. I hear it too.” Poe quipped to the droid, who beeped again. 

“What’s going on?” Major Ematt called from down the hallway. He had emerged from one of the control rooms, sleep tugging at his worn eyes. 

“We don’t know, major.” Poe replied, pausing in front of the old man. Leia stormed past them both, Luke close behind. Apparently, she knew exactly what was going on. 

Finn couldn’t resist the urge to scurry after them. Tugging on Poe’s arm, he dragged the pilot after the twins. It took longer than Finn wanted to reach the surface, and by that time, any hunger or weariness left in his body had been completely depleted by fear. If there were more First Order ships… 

Maker help them. 

But when he emerged onto the landing strip, the chill night wind whipping across his face, Finn realised it wasn’t fear he should be feeling. It was hope. 

Because the First Order ships were leaving.

**

Kylo Ren flipped the auto-pilot switch in his command shuttle and settled back in the seat. It felt like forever since he held control over anything in his life. To be able to fly again, when he chose where to go, what route to take – it was refreshing to his aching mind. 

He had woken halfway through the night, _The Finalizer_ quiet and still, completely deaf to the thundering in his heart. Even now he could still feel her fingers tangled in his hair, her soft lips pressed hard against his. It had felt so real, yet when he woke, he realised nothing so good could ever be real. 

Rey had been lying on the sofa, smiling contentedly in her sleep. _Or could it be real?_ Could he call this amazing woman his, could he find out what those lips tasted like without the dream barrier? 

No. Not until he told her about D’Qar. 

Kylo had tried after their kiss, and maybe it made him selfish, but when she stopped him, he didn’t push. If only to stay in her arms a little longer. 

As he watched the galaxy pass by, Kylo figured it might not matter much longer. His unsanctioned departure from _The Finalizer_ had set off every alarm in the Order, especially with the Resistance darling in tow. There was no doubt that every First Order base, every ship in the air was on high alert, searching for him already. If he was lucky, the ships surrounding D’Qar would have taken off by now. 

Kylo breathed a sigh of relief as he realised that’s exactly what they would have done. The blockade would go down from over a thousand transporters to a meagre couple hundred. An easy amount to take down with their ground forces. 

In any other circumstance, Kylo would have cursed himself for caring about the enemy. But even he knew that starvation was a cruel, inhumane way to die. And he doubted Rey would have been best pleased to finally return only to find her friends’ emaciated corpses. 

Kylo glanced over his shoulder at the small figure sleeping on a little pull-out bed in the back of his shuttle. He had carried her gently onto his shuttle, avoiding every passing Stormtrooper, regardless of how they’d know when he left. He had almost left her staff behind, putting himself in further danger by going back for it. Though he thought he’d be in the most danger if Rey woke up without it by her side. 

He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to take her away from _The Finalizer_. A part of him shivered at the thought of seeing the emptiness in her eyes when the nightmares came back. Taking her away from that cold, metallic boat might bring some of that life back. Another part, however, the selfish part, knew it was because he wanted time with her away from training. 

A sudden clash, followed by a squeal echoed through the shuttle. Kylo didn’t jump up, or even look round as Rey collected herself. Instead he chuckled, the amusement only growing with Rey’s muttered string of curses as she snatched her staff from the ground. 

Her footsteps grew nearer and nearer until she was finally stood behind him, leaning almost too casually against the co-pilot seat. He glanced up at her, that beautiful face gazing back. She smiled slightly, though her fingers dug heavily into the seat. 

Clearing his throat, Kylo turned back to the panel, flipping it back to manual control. _Let’s not make this more awkward_. 

The bond wasn’t open. But it wasn’t closed either. It seemed they had found a delicate equilibrium; one where they could keep their thoughts to themselves, but always reach out to one another if needed. Kylo decided he liked it that way. 

“Where are we going?” Rey said carefully from behind him. 

Not _‘why did you bring me here?’_ Not _‘what do you think you’re doing, taking me off Maker-knows where?’_ A simple question. 

“I thought you could do with a few days off.” He replied, before adding quietly, “We both could.” 

Kylo tried not to notice how she bit her lip at that, how her cheeks flared red. Or how it made his own insides heat up. Taking a shaking breath, Kylo asked, “How would you like to visit Coruscant?” 

**

Coruscant was enormous. 

Rey sat in the co-pilot seat, completely in awe of the sight before her. Coruscant was larger than any planet Rey had seen, and she hadn’t quite believed everyone when they said it was an entire city. Yet there it was: skyscrapers reaching into the clouds, sparkling from the blazing sunlight; neon signs glowing from beneath the gloom of the underworld; and there, just away from the cityscape, stood the Jedi Temple. 

Rey felt the power there, the legacy calling to her, like a voice on the wind. Beside her, Kylo felt it too as his eyes were fixed on the grand building. She remembered the stories Luke told her of his father, stories he had learned from an elusive hermit he refused to name. He’d said Anakin Skywalker had been a frequent visitor of the temple, until he had slaughtered the younglings who resided there. 

Having met the former Sith lord, Rey knew that Anakin regretted his actions, that one probably the most. And she knew, deep down, that Kylo resented his grandfather for that. 

Shaking the thought away, Rey turned her attention away from the temple, focusing instead upon the landing pad Kylo was gliding the shuttle onto. They touched down with a slight jolt that had Kylo wincing. He shot her an apologetic glance before looking away. 

Rey sighed through her nose. _So, this was how it was going to be_. 

When she’d woken, she’d had no doubt conversation would be awkward. Their moment seemed a galaxy and several lifetimes away, with the fuzzy dreaminess gone. But it was real. What they’d done, what they’d felt was _real_. And it wasn’t something they could ignore forever. 

It was all so new to her, and if she let it strike her fully for a second, it terrified her too. But there was no point in denying it any longer, or making excuses. It was clear they both knew what they wanted, and getting it wasn’t a problem. Keeping it would be the hard part. 

If she pushed him, she knew she’d regret it. 

So, as Kylo slid on his infernal mask and pulled up his cowl, Rey did nothing but clench her staff tighter and follow him off the ship. The attendants who had rushed out to greet them skidded to a halt, their eyes widening, before bowing their heads as they stalked past. 

Deep in her gut, Rey took pleasure in seeing them submissive before her. She raised her chin and squared her shoulders, skin tingling as the power radiated off her. Kylo glanced back at her, and she could have sworn he was smirking behind the mask. 

They reached the doors at the end of the walkway. Unable to resist, Rey flicked her wrist and they swung open. She grinned; it felt so good to exert her power without something threatening her. 

When they entered the towering building, Rey realised they were in a luxury hotel. While the entire wall they passed through was covered in windows, the lobby’s interior was more traditional, with heavy drapes, a lush carpet and an ornate tapestry hanging behind the front desk. 

The alien sat at the computer didn’t look up as Kylo strode over. Her skin was emerald green, accented by blue speckles. Rey had seen her kind before on Jakku, though much less clean and far more friendly. 

When she finally did take notice, she didn’t cower away from the mask, her opal eyes instead boring into Kylo. A grin split her face, rows of serrated teeth snapping together. “What can I do for you?” 

“Don’t play that game with me, Axane. You know what I’m here for.” Kylo growled, the sound cutting through Rey. 

“Hmm.” Axane tapped a long fingernail on her lips, her eyes dragging over Rey as if she were sizing up a meal. Long years on Jakku had taught Rey how to look intimidating. Normally, it had little effect, like a mouse trying to stare down a lion. But something must have worked, because Axane’s eyes narrowed and she returned to her screen. “I have a reservation here for you, sir. The honeymoon suite should be ready by now.” 

_What?_ Rey choked. Had he assumed…? Just because of the dream? It wasn’t that she didn’t want… whatever it was she wanted, but he couldn’t have just assumed he would be getting such things from her immediately. 

But Kylo seemed just as confused as she did. Wrathful, even, because he snarled, “I specifically asked for a twin room, with two beds.” 

Axane had the good sense to look anxious, her eyes blowing wide enough that Rey could see her reflection in them. “I’m sorry, sir, there must have been a mistake. But I’m afraid all our twin rooms are occupied. Unless you want me to move you to the lower floors…” 

“No.” The word was cold, emotionless; the mask at work again. “We’ll make do.” 

Axane nodded and handed over the key card. Kylo waved her away, and she instead passed it to Rey. “The suite’s to your right, the last one in the corridor.” 

“Thank you.” She said quietly, before moving off in that direction while Kylo paid the bill. 

The hallway was much like the lobby. Red velvet walls surrounded her as her boots sunk into the similarly coloured carpet. They cocooned her in warmth, and when she reached out to stroke a finger across the material, it was soft to the touch. This was certainly a place someone would come on their honeymoon. 

She passed mahogany tables adorned with baroque glass vases, the flowers in them freshly watered. Every few doors a painting hung on the wall, often of scenes in Coruscant, but some of other planets. One caught her eye: the palace on Naboo. There seemed to be a celebration taking place, with banners hanging from every window. 

“It’s the celebration after the Battle of Endor.” A voice whispered in her ear. Its deep tone made a foreign feeling shudder through her. She wanted to lean into that voice, feel its lips on her neck. 

Instead she turned. Kylo, the mask finally off, had a smirk playing on his mouth. Any other member of the First Order would scorn the painting. But Rey remembered the memories she’d seen in his head of Naboo. When Leia used to take him there and buy him sweets. 

Sweets! An idea bloomed in Rey’s mind. She grinned at Kylo, shoving the key card into his hand. “I’ll be back soon.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her, confused and… worried. He didn’t want her going off alone. But he said nothing, nodding stiffly and continuing down the hallway. 

Rey watched him go, his shoulders tensing and relaxing. She imagined it was hard for any man to let a woman wander off alone in an unfamiliar place, especially so for Kylo when he no doubt worried she’d leave him. But it warmed her heart that he would never try to stop her. 

When he turned the corner, Rey padded off in the other direction, again entering the lobby. Axane eyed her for a moment before turning back to her screen. She glanced around, searching for any signs that might lead her, but came up short. 

She really didn’t want to ask Axane. There was something in Rey’s heart that said not to trust the alien. 

So, she kept looking, and finally decided the stairs leading downwards were her best bet. Down, down, down they went. The polished stone steps eventually became jagged, chunks missing here and there. Scents like sweat, alcohol and smoke floated up to greet her. And when she finally emerged into an open space, a lobby much less dignified than the one upstairs, she discovered why Kylo stayed in the top levels. 

Women of all race and size draped themselves across repugnant men ogling them like they were slabs of meat. As she passed through the crowds, gripping her staff that much harder, some of the women even approached Rey. Their eyes raked over her body, their tongues lapping out like dogs. When one of them ran an elegant talon along her shoulder, Rey whirled, her hand instinctively lashing out and sending the alien woman flying into the opposite wall. 

The lobby went quiet. The silence was crushing, as every pair of eyes bore into her. _No fear_ , she chanted to herself, _no fear, no fear_. So, while her heart tried to hammer its way out of her chest, Rey raised herself up and said haughtily, “Anyone else?” 

The musical chatter resumed in the lobby. Rey whistled a sigh of relief; apparently, she’d established herself as top of the hierarchy. She turned and scurried towards the hallway marked ‘Hotel Shop.’ 

Inside, the mood was much calmer. In fact, the only noise was the steady thrum of the fans overhead and the muttering of the attendant, who barely noticed her come in. She had little money, only what Poe had let her borrow on their trip to Naboo. The prospect of shopping in such a beautiful city was both exciting and frightening. Rey had only ever traded, never bought. She didn’t even know what she would buy; clothes and jewellery she would never wear? 

It seemed only right to spend it on something far more valuable. 

Perusing the various aisles, Rey found objects of all sorts: glass globes entombing the Jedi Temple, various holobooks, chiselled replicas of kyber crystals hanging from black chains. Eventually she found it. 

A little bag of sugary blue sweets sat on the shelves beside hundreds of others, all containing some form of confectionary. But none of them caught her eye as much as the blue ones, and none would mean more. 

Smiling to herself, Rey plucked the bag from its spot and paid the attendant, who muttered a few words before turning back to his magazine. 

She made a quick job of getting back to the top level, where Axane was still sat at her desk. Again, the alien eyed her as she passed, but said nothing. 

Rey shook off the feeling that Axane still watched her as she moved down the hallway, and finally reached the honeymoon suite. 

Hesitating, she tucked the bag into her satchel and knocked on the door. It took only a moment for it to swing open, and for a head of raven hair to peer around the doorframe. “Where did you go?” 

“Oh nowhere.” She said, waving him off as she stepped inside. The room was enormous. Floor-to-ceiling windows adorned one wall, opening out onto balconies kissed by sunlight. Through an open sliding door, not five feet from them, stood a four-poster bed with silken sheets, not unlike the ones on Kylo’s bed, and heavy drapes drawn back from the edges. A refresher sat off to the side, which – from Rey’s restricted view – seemed to contain a claw-foot bathtub. The rest of the chambers contained a sitting room, with two sofas large enough to seat three people and a chaise. 

Kylo had already thrown his mask and cowl on the bed, so she muttered, “I guess I’ll take the chaise then.” 

Kylo looked at her in horror. “Absolutely not. You’ll take the bed.” 

She gestured to his things. “It seems you’ve already claimed it.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He shook his head, striding to the bed. He scooped up his things, instead dumping them on the sofa. “I’ll sleep over here.” 

Rey didn’t notice the canine sunk into her lip before the metallic tang on blood hit her tongue. It was sweet of him to offer her the bed, but he would not be comfortable with his long legs hung over the end of the couch. And she would not be comfortable in such a large bed. Alone. 

She took a deep breath, steeling herself before saying, “Why don’t we sleep in it together?” 

Crimson flushed on Kylo’s cheeks. He had to clear his throat several times before he managed, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

If Rey hadn’t known what he meant, she might have been hurt. Truthfully, though, she knew if they slept in the same bed, they might have trouble staying on their respective sides of it. 

Since the dream, things may have gotten awkward between them, but it had turned the tables entirely. They were no longer enemies, far from mere friends, and the master-apprentice perspective was out of the window. She had no idea what they were, only that she wanted to find out. 

“It’ll be fine.” She wrung her hands out, trying to convince herself more than him. “It’s big enough to stay on one side. And we could both do with a proper night’s sleep.” 

Kylo considered for a moment. The energy of their bond was flaring hot, sparking around with their indecisions and desires. But then Kylo nodded, clamping his lips shut on whatever reply he had brewing. 

“Okay.” Rey breathed a sigh of relief. Every day they were conquering new challenges, slowly getting to where they needed to be. That is, if she discounted the dream. “Well, we have almost all day before that. What do you want to do?”

**

They ended up staying the whole day in the suite, ordering room service and watching the city go by. 

They had played silly games, making up stories about passers-by, each one ending with her in fits of giggles. When her laughter subsided, she would find his eyes trained on her, warmth and something Rey didn’t recognise in his eyes. He would clear his throat and look away, heat building on his cheeks. 

Kylo told her about his adventures on Coruscant; how one time he’d gotten stuck acting as a magician’s apprentice for three hours while his mother dealt with idiotic diplomats. The story, while his eyes had filled with sadness, made him chuckle. 

Rey loved that sound. It was a deep, throaty noise that went right through her. Nothing had ever sounded happier than when he laughed, and it brought a smile to her face. She had even tried her first drop of champagne, and promptly spit it out, making Kylo roar with laughter again. 

Twilight came, the sun breathing the day’s last and slipping beneath the horizon. The wind picked up, howling through the streets, drowned out only by the raucous nightlife below. 

They retired inside, though Rey could have stayed on that balcony forever. Kylo perched himself on one of the sofas, a whiskey glass in his hand. It was his second that night, and Rey wondered at the irony of the similarity to Leia. She realised that whenever he gave her glimpses into his past, he stuck to his mother, never mentioning Han. 

She knew she’d have to give him time to tell all his stories, because he perhaps didn’t yet trust himself to tell them, but she wished he would make her laugh with tales of Han’s escapades. For now, though, Rey was satisfied enough. 

A soft knock came at the door. Grinning, Rey bounded over to it and swung it open. An elderly human woman with soft brown eyes smiled at Rey as they beheld each other. In her arms, she carried a tray adorned with iced buns and fresh fruit. 

Rey couldn’t help a glance back at Kylo when she registered the amounts of fruit on the tray. Plump, juicy red ones; watery ones that looked like they would melt in her mouth; ones she hadn’t tried before; and her favourites, the ones from Takodana. He’d done this for her. 

“I’ve never had to deliver this many meals to one room in one day before.” The woman laughed, handing over the tray. 

Rey chuckled, moving both her arms under the tray. She took a deep breath as the lush scents of the fruits worked their way up her nose. “We’re very hungry.” 

The woman eyed her, that soft gaze studying her from head to toe then across to Kylo on the sofa, who was doing his best not to watch. “ _Oh!_ ” She laughed again, tossing Rey a suggestive wink. “I understand. I’ll get out of your way then.” 

Perplexed, Rey watched the old woman waddle off down the hallway. “What could she have meant by that, I wonder?” She muttered to herself, closing the door with a foot and returning to the sofas. 

Kylo snorted, taking another swig of his whiskey. 

“What?” She demanded. 

“You don’t know?” He sounded incredulous. 

Rey opened her mouth, only to close it again. Her eyes widened as understanding struck her. “You don’t think… That’s not what I…” 

Her cheeks flared with embarrassment as Kylo smirked at her. It didn’t help that his eyes occasionally roved lower than her face. 

He waved his hand at the adjacent couch. “Let others think what they want. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.” 

Rey huffed, sinking back in the chair, but she said, “I think that’s the most intelligent thing you’ve ever said.” 

Kylo’s hand stopped in mid-reach for a bun. Only for a second, but it was there. “Nonsense.” 

“No, you’re right, what am I thinking? Nothing you say or do is intelligent.” 

He fixed her with a glare, obsidian eyes searing through her. She couldn’t help but fidget under that intense gaze, only it wasn’t from fear this time. Instead he looked at her with lustful hunger. And it made parts of her squirm with need too. 

_“You weren’t saying that last night.”_ He whispered into her mind. A gentle caress, like the way he might whisper into her ear as his hand roved down, down, down… 

_“If I recall correctly, we weren’t saying much of anything last night.”_ She shot back. Even the voice in her head was breathless. 

_“Oh, I’m sure I can make you say a lot of things.”_ He growled, the sound reverberating through her entire body. Didn’t he know the things it did to her? 

Unable to bite back on her reply, Rey purred back, _“I might take you up on that offer.”_

Kylo sank back in his chair, scanning her with feline grace. If it weren’t for his blown pupils and the steady shaking of his fingers, she’d have thought he’d done this before. But truthfully, neither of them had. 

And it scared them both. 

Rey cleared her throat and looked away, trying desperately – and failing – to quiet the thundering in her heart. “I’m going to bed.” She whispered, rising and grabbing a piece of fruit on the way. Then she realised what she’d said. “To sleep. You can stay out here until I’m out.” 

She didn’t stay long enough for him to nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought in the comments :)
> 
> Now that I have more time on my hands, I hope to get chapter sixteen up in the usual two week interval.


	16. No More Sad Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey make up, yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot apologise enough for the long wait!!! I know it ended up being longer than I originally planned, and I won't make excuses, I'll only apologise. Thank you again for your patience, and all your wonderful support. I love you all!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Kylo hadn’t come to bed. 

Rey opened her eyes, expecting to find his heavy form deep in slumber. Instead, she ended up squinting in the bright morning sunlight that streamed through the window. 

It was warm on Coruscant. Spring was in full force on the city planet, a pleasant breeze wafting through the gossamer curtains. Rey lifted her face to it, enjoying it while it lasted. 

When she finally brought herself to get up and open the sliding door, Rey found the living area empty. The coffee table was still covered in last night’s food, the whiskey bottle empty. Had he stayed up all night drinking? 

_What is it with Skywalkers and alcohol?_

Like the living room, the refresher and the balcony were both absent of him. The silent emptiness crushed in on her. She hadn’t been this alone for so long. 

Finn, or Luke, or _someone_ was always close by. Even in the last few weeks, Kylo had always been there in the back of her mind. But he was gone from there too; the only reassurance the bond hadn’t snapped was the string of buzzing energy hanging between them. 

Still there; just not talking to her. 

This was going to be a long trip.

**

Hours passed before Kylo returned. 

Rey was practically bouncing with energy, her entire body itching to get outside. But she didn’t know Coruscant, and even with her heightened intuition, she doubted it would take long before she was lost. 

She explored every inch of the suite, even going so far as to rummage in every cupboard for a hidden door. It was in her nature to explore, to discover every little treasure hidden in every little nook. Luke had once said it was in her soul to become a Jedi. But in her heart, she would always be a scavenger. 

It only took her until noon to have searched the place. She subsequently took two showers, ordered room service, had a long chat with the elderly service lady, and played around with Kylo’s lightsaber. She wondered why he’d left it behind, but she was glad he did because it felt so good in her hands. It was heavy, but agile; powerful, angry and scorching hot. 

But she even got bored of that eventually. 

It was five in the afternoon, the sun falling low on the horizon and dyeing the sky brilliant shades of burnt gold. Rey was curled up on the sofa, hands in front of her and brow furrowed as she glared at the empty whiskey bottle, willing the it to move. 

And it did. 

It rose several feet into the air, floating for a few seconds before dropping back to the table. Rey felt the power within her spark. She lifted it again, imagined it spinning in the air before gliding over to the bin by the entrance. 

But once it reached the same peak, the glass rippled and shattered. 

“What the…” Rey squeaked, dodging the falling shards. She’d had everything under control… 

Before she could dwell on it, the suite entrance slid open. She tried not to seem too eager, but she twisted so quickly that her neck cricked. Kylo didn’t notice. He barely looked her way as he stalked into the bedroom, a black package in his hands, and slid the folding door closed. 

Rey huffed, her fingers itching to flip an obscene gesture in his direction. 

She turned back to the bottle just as the shower started, and started gingerly picking up the glass. The bond was alive and snapping with energy now they were so close again. She could almost feel the water running down her own back, over the soft skin marred with… 

Shaking the thought away, Rey tried to concentrate on finding the well of power that stirred deep within herself. If she could feel its dormant fire in her veins, perhaps she could find a way to control it 

As she searched, images started flooding into her head. She barely payed attention; they were the usual ones that travelled down the bond. Rey was sure he didn’t care about what she saw anymore. He was much more open with her now. A result of their kiss or just their growing trust, she wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t about to complain. 

Just as she was going to tune him out, though, she saw herself. At their first meeting, defiance raging in her eyes. On Starkiller, the blue plasma of her lightsaber shining against her skin. There was something in her air that day, the strength that rumbled behind her soft features. It made his soul glow in awe. 

When she plunged over the balcony in Theed. She felt the fear that pulsed through him when the water filled her lungs. 

All their training sessions, how she looked at him with hatred, shifting as she found the spirit behind the iron walls, into understanding. Into desire. How she smiled at him in the dream; the soft caress of her lips against his. 

Rey had never felt this emotion before. The strength of it pulsing down the bond towards her, originating deep in his heart. It was so powerful it knocked the breath from her. 

She searched for a word to describe it. The only one that came to her… No, it was preposterous. She hadn’t known him – the real him – that long. And he didn’t know her. He didn’t know what Jakku had put her through; and not the starvation and the loneliness – what it had really put her through. 

Would he still feel this way if he knew? If he learned how broken she really was. 

_He’s broken too._

But did she know all either? _No, you don’t, and yet you can’t deny what you feel in return._

Her reverie was shattered by the opening of the sliding doors. Kylo emerged, fresh tunic and trousers crumpled against his body. His dark hair dripped onto his shoulders, framing his pale face like a halo. 

Rey’s heart quickened slightly at the sight, and her gaze roamed from his parted lips, across the hard planes of his chest, further down… 

When Kylo caught her stare, Rey flushed and looked away. _Back to square one,_ she hissed to herself. 

“Where did you go today?” She asked, trying not to sound too curious. 

“You didn’t leave all day?” 

Rey said nothing. 

If she had been watching him, Rey was certain she would have seen him roll his eyes. “I needed to clear my head.” He sank onto the adjacent sofa. It took him a few moments before he said, “I didn’t expect you to stay here.” 

“I like it here.” She replied curtly. Then she sighed; while that was true, she wanted nothing more than to see the rest of Coruscant. “I can’t go out there alone. I wouldn’t know my way back.” 

Kylo chuckled. “You’re a powerful Force-user and you’re scared of getting lost?” 

Rey glared at him, and his laugh faded. Of course, she was afraid of getting lost. Losing what she knows was the surest way to lose herself. And then she may never find the home she’d always searched for. 

“We can go exploring tomorrow.” 

Silence hung heavy in the air between them. Neither wanted to broach the subject of the awkward night before, but when she attempted to find another, Rey was stumped. That is, until Kylo pulled out the black package he’d been carrying earlier. It was overly large, but Rey could guess it would be too heavy to carry all day. 

“I got you this.” Was all he said as the package found its way onto her lap. 

Rey couldn’t help the twitch of her eyebrow. No-one had ever gotten her a present before. She had no idea what to expect; it was too big to be jewellery, he knew better than to get her new clothes, and she couldn’t imagine shops in Coruscant selling boxes of fruit. For all she knew, it would be a model Star Destroyer. 

But as she ripped open the black covering, she found the last thing she expected. An enormous smile spread across her face as she pulled the box out. It said one word on the box: Dejarik. 

Kylo leant forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. Rey had to glance between him and the box a few times before she realised it wasn’t a joke. “I know you’ve never played it before. I thought I might teach you.” 

“Always with the teacher thing.” She snorted, but she couldn’t keep the grin from her face. 

He smiled. One of his rare, genuine smiles. Rey wished she could capture that image and keep it forever. 

“Thank you.” She whispered, placing a hand on his arm. He placed his other hand over hers, gently grasping the fingers and twining them with his own. It lasted only a moment before she pulled away, an epiphany striking. “Hang on.” 

She jumped up from the sofa, almost catching her knee on the coffee table, before rushing into the bedroom where her satchel lay on the bed. She grabbed it, rummaging through it. She’s hesitated to give her own gift to him last night. Now, it was only fair he received something in return. 

Rey, the sweets concealed behind her, skidded to a halt in front of him. He looked up at her, his opal eyes sparkling. Rey knew she was grinning like an idiot, her teeth clamped into her bottom lip. 

“What is it?” He asked calmly, though he beheld her as if she’d gone insane. 

“You’re not the only one with a present.” She thrust the bag out to him. 

Her heart thundered as his gaze fixed on the bag. She hoped he would see a generous offering, and not an impertinence on his privacy. As his fingers clasped around the bag, however, Rey’s worries melted away. 

“I haven’t seen these in years.” He said quietly. 

“They’re your favourites, aren’t they?” Rey folded her legs beneath her as she returned to her sofa. 

He nodded, staring at the bag as if it were alien to him. In a way, she supposed it was. They came from a life that wasn’t his anymore; a life he was only just learning how to live again. 

“Come on, open them. I want to see what’s so special about these blue sweets.” She urged, as she pulled the clear wrapping from the Dejarik box. 

It took her only a few seconds to have the board on the table, the holograms flickering above, and the instructions crumpled in her lap. She had seen a Dejarik board before, frequently as Chewie played on the _Falcon_. Many a time she’d wanted to play it with him, having no doubt the Wookiee was an expert in the game. Rey smiled to herself as she realised Chewie would have taught Kylo when he was young. 

Kylo ripped the bag open and spilled a few into his hand, the inner child coming out. The sweets were only small, but as he rolled them in his palm, the blue sugar stained his skin. He threw a few in his mouth, a satisfied groan rumbling from his throat. 

Rey giggled, flicking her eyes between him and the instructions as he tossed sweet after sweet back. “You’re going to make yourself sick if you eat them all.” She quipped. 

Kylo snorted. “You sound like my mother.” 

Rey grinned. “What a compliment, _Master Ren_ ” 

He arched an eyebrow. “You’d do the same if you tasted these.” He mumbled around another mouthful. 

“Try me.” Rey leant forward, hand outstretched. 

Kylo had other ideas. He set the bag down beside him, a few still waiting in his palm. With his other hand, he willed the sweets upwards, levitating them in circles. Rey drummed her fingers against the sofa, growing so impatient she almost snatched them out of the air. But then he looked at her, the sweets slowly moving her way, and said, “Open your mouth.” 

She gave him a sceptical look, but obliged. The sweets floated into her mouth, landing softly on her tongue. The moment they did, a burst of flavour exploded in her mouth. They were sweet and sour, tasting like hot stars and a waterfall of sugar. Delicious. 

She couldn’t help the groan that escaped her own lips, loud enough for Kylo to smirk. “Didn’t I tell you?” 

She swallowed, the taste still lingering on her tongue. “Alright, alright.” 

He chuckled, and Force pulled the coffee table – and in turn her sofa – closer to him. That power… It cost him nothing. Strong enough to tear apart a human mind, but never wild. 

Rey wasn’t about to bring it up. It would only worry him; if Snoke knew – she didn’t want to think about what he would make her do. 

So, instead, she threw the instructions at his head. “I hate you.” 

He caught them with ease, the smirk never faltering. “Only as much as I hate you.” 

Rey rolled her eyes. “Are we going to play or not?” 

Kylo screwed the instructions up and tossed them in the box. “We don’t need those.” He leant forward, and began explaining the rules of the game. It was simple enough; the computer would randomly choose four of the strange pieces each, and they would proceed to destroy each other’s pieces. It seemed like a game of luck, except that Kylo was considerably more experienced in both the game itself and in strategic combat. 

When the pieces appeared on her side of the board, however, Rey liked her odds. They both ended up with one piece from each category, which meant she at least had a chance. Kylo made his first move. His Houjix moved a place closer to the centre, trying to draw her in. He did the same with his Ng’ok, on the other side of the board. But Rey didn’t fall for it. Instead, she moved her Monnok around the orbit and attacked his Savrip. 

Kylo chuckled. “Bad move.” 

She looked at him in surprise. She’d thought it was a good move. That is, until she saw the holographic battle taking place before her. The two pieces were equally matched, hitting each other like the brutish animals they were. But his Savrip had a higher defence than her Monnok, she remembered as the creature flattened the other. Her piece disappeared from the board. Already at an advantage, Kylo knocked back a few more sweets before taking his next move. 

The rest of the game went by in much the same way. Rey made what she thought was a clever move, only for Kylo to defeat her again. When her final piece was cleared off the board, Rey collapsed back onto the sofa, biting back the curses stinging her tongue. 

“Not used to losing, are you?” 

She glared at him. “You were supposed to be teaching me, not kicking my arse!” But it was true. Every time she played a game with anyone, or even just challenged Finn to an eating contest, she always won. 

“Consider it payback.” He quipped, his mouth pulling up at the corner. Rey was on the verge of throwing a pillow at him, until he muttered, “It’s not my fault I was trained by an expert.” 

With the words, his eyes lost a little of their light. _Chewie_. Rey had to swallow the lump in her throat before she replied, “Chewie taught you.” 

Kylo nodded “And he wasn’t a fair player.” 

“Han said he would rip out people’s arms for beating him.” She chuckled, though the memory brought tears to her eyes. 

A pulse of pain reverberated down the bond. Every time she mentioned his name, it tore a new hole in Kylo’s sanity. Even now, she could feel that guilt ripping away at him. “I’ve seen him do that. It’s not pretty.” 

“And what did you get for beating him?” She leant forward; any information about his childhood was precious, and she would store it somewhere safe, secret, like all the other treasures she’d discovered. “It looks like all your limbs are intact.” 

Kylo huffed a laugh, gazing far into the distance, as if his past were calling to him. _Let it in,_ her mental voice urged. 

“I never beat him.” 

“Not once?” She asked, reaching for more sweets. 

“It wasn’t until after…” He glanced at her, the message conveying clear enough without words. “I didn’t get good until I started playing Hux.” 

Rey almost choked, the sweets going sour in her mouth. “You played with _Hux_?” 

Kylo waved off the question, and started resetting the board. “It doesn’t matter.” 

But she wouldn’t let it go. “Tell me.” 

“No.” The words were harsher than he intended, because he waved her off again. “It’s not important…” 

Rey grabbed the hand frantically pressing the buttons on the Dejarik board. The skin was smooth, despite the calluses that peppered his fingers, and burning hot under her touch. His eyes rose to hers, his pupils blowing wide. Before she thought twice and made the whole situation awkward again, she reached out and touched his face. “I thought Hux was the one who gave you the scars on your back.” 

Kylo caught her fingers on his cheek and tangled them with his own. “Hux is a pain in the arse, but he isn’t that brutal. My knights gave me these scars, when I was training.” 

“I’m not surprised you killed that one on Naboo.” 

Kylo gave her a hard look. “He was going to kill you. I… I couldn’t let that happen.” 

It was the first acknowledgement of wanting her for more than to please Snoke. She stroked her fingers down his scar, admiring the strength, the bravery it took for him to admit that. So many wounds… 

That was it. Enough was enough. She could feel the memories slicing through him, could almost hear the skin sizzling under a lightsaber’s touch. And yet he shared them with her; because if anyone could understand him, it was her. 

It was her turn. 

Rey turned, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. She shrugged off her vest, and began pulling off her tunic. Sounds of protest came from behind her, but she shushed him, tugging the material over her head and holding it over her breasts. 

She understood what she was revealing, knew she was opening her most vulnerable wounds to him. To the first person in a long time. And she was glad it was Kylo who got to see them. 

She heard him move behind her. Closer, closer, closer… Until his fingers collided with her bare skin. Rey sucked in a breath as those fingers roamed across the puckered skin, not at all repulsed by her thick scars. 

“Who did this to you?” Kylo growled. 

“Unkar Plutt and his cronies.” She said quietly. 

Kylo drew nearer, close enough for her to feel his breath caressing her skin. “Why?” His voice was dangerously low. 

“I was ten years old.” She began, already having to swallow back the tears. “I hadn’t scavenged anything for weeks, because a new gang had taken over my usual haunts. It wasn’t wise on Jakku to get in anyone’s way. 

“But it meant I hadn’t eaten for weeks as well. I was starving, bordering on emaciated. So, I figured I could trade the things I’d kept; I knew the simulation chips I’d found would at least get me enough to eat for a couple of months.” 

Kylo’s hands tensed on her. She hadn’t told him about the simulation chips before; about the machine she’d found and practiced flying on. They meant the world to her, just like everything else. 

“You were ten years old?” The growl was positively deadly now. 

She nodded stiffly, and he stayed quiet as she continued, “When I got into town, I found Unkar’s station empty. The back door was open, and no-one was around. I would have done anything not to sell those chips.” The tears started falling, running hot down her cheeks. 

“I went into the booth, thinking nobody could see me. The rations were right in front of me. I even managed to pocket a few before this enormous hand grabbed my shoulder so hard it cracked. 

It turns out Unkar Plutt’s henchmen had seen me break in. The old bastard turned up a few moments later and had them haul me up in front of everyone. I didn’t know what they were going to do – I was so scared.” Her voice wobbled, but she swallowed it down. “They stripped off my clothes, and one of them brought out a whip…” 

Kylo snarled under his breath. 

“They got in seven lashes before I passed out. And I woke up in the sand, my clothes torn on top of me and the rations I’d stolen gone.” 

Rey furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks. She jerked her tunic back down, and stood up. Kylo’s palms lay flat on the table. His face was downcast, but she could feel the rage bubbling beneath the surface. 

“I will kill them, Rey.” He snarled quietly. “I will kill every last one of them. And the last thing they feel in this life is the pain you felt.” 

Despite how wrong it felt, Rey couldn’t deny the appeal that held. “Not if I get there first.” She whispered. 

Kylo stood, stalking around the table. Rey wasn’t sure what he was going to do. _Grab his lightsaber and lacerate the walls probably._

She was wrong. Instead, he took her in his arms, one around her waist and the other wiping a stray tear from her cheek. “No-one will ever hurt you that way ever again. I promise you that.” 

Then he buried his face in her neck. Rey clutched onto him, her lifeline in a roiling ocean trying to drown her. She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing only on the warmth of his body and the beat of his heart. 

For the first time, happiness glowed in her heart. And as every lightbulb smashed and rained down around them, as the tension drained from his shoulders, it glowed even brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and I especially hope it was worth the wait! Thank you again for all your support! 
> 
> I can't promise two-week intervals anymore as I'm pretty busy, but I hope to get it to you within three. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought!


	17. Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well the chapter title is a clue ;)
> 
> Not a particularly romantic one, but a real turning-point I think. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a long wait this time. Yay! Thank you for your patience and support as always. Love you guys! 
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

“Where are we going?” Rey hissed for what felt like the millionth time. 

Kylo shushed her, peering around the street corner. 

They were down some rotten alleyway, the stench of alcohol burning the inside of her nose. Kylo had practically pulled her from bed at midnight, throwing her cloak at her. He had already been fully dressed, clad in everything from his cowl down to his heavy boots, and his wretched mask tucked under one arm. 

Rey hadn’t known the awful thing had come to Coruscant with them. _It must have been on the ship,_ she thought. 

Now, he pressed himself into the wall, noticeable as only a shadow to anyone but her. His cowl was up, the mask replacing soft features with a cold shell. The monster returned. 

Rey arched an eyebrow at him, refusing to flatten herself against the wall like him. As far as she was concerned, the amount of the black they were wearing would conceal them anyway. Her own hood fell just above her eyes, one hand gripping her staff. She doubted she looked like any less a monster than he did. 

“Why are we doing this?” 

Those bottomless eyes met hers. “What?” 

Scowling at him, she gestured around her. “ _This._ Why are we sneaking around in the middle of the night on a planet with about a thousand other criminals on it? And why are you wearing _that thing_ as well!” 

Kylo snorted, the sound rasping painfully through the regulator. When she flinched, he pulled the mask off. “As you may have noticed, sweetheart, I am not exactly inconspicuous.” 

_Sweetheart._ She tried to ignore how that sent shivers through her. This was not the time. “You’re more conspicuous with that on.” 

“We are going to a bar particularly favoured by First Order officers. None of whom have seen my real face. I would prefer to keep it that way.” Kylo looked around the corner again, presumably at the bar. 

Rey peered around him. “First Order officers? By the Maker, Kylo, I thought we were getting _away_ from them.” 

Sure enough, the outside of the bar – the name of which was glowing neon in the smoke-stained night air – was surrounded by men and women in First Order uniform. 

Kylo turned back to her. “The First Order doesn’t exactly know I’m here –” He held up a hand before she could protest. “I didn’t tell them, which is probably the worst thing I could have done because now they’ll all be out looking for me.” 

“You’re trying to get us killed then? Or captured.” If Rey hadn’t already suspected, this was the point she’d have known he was crazy. 

Kylo ignored her snide comment. “Tonight, you told me something that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep because of it. And while I can’t give you the vengeance you deserve, I can give you the release you need.” His eyes were sincere, pleading even. The look lasted only a moment before he waggled his eyebrows at her and added, “And tonight is a quiet night, meaning I can remove their memories easier. They’ll never know we were here.” 

Rey rolled her eyes. “You think I’m going to spend the whole night drinking?” 

“Maker no!” He gave her a mock-horrified look. Then he sobered enough to say, “I can feel the anger, the hate thrumming in you right now…” 

“That’s you.” She pointed out. 

He shot her a sidelong glance. She grinned at him; he knew she had been perfectly happy sleeping in bed, with him only a finger’s breadth away. He knew she had found her release by telling him that story, a memory she had kept bottled up for so long. 

This was all him. 

“Technicalities.” He waved her off, and moved to slide his mask back on. 

Rey grabbed his arm. “What are we going to do?” 

A spark of danger flashed in his eyes. “We’re going to have some fun.”

**

“Poe Dameron!” 

The voice rang through the control room. Poe was sat at one desk, his head bobbing with fatigue while lights flickered on the screen. He hadn’t even needed to work, but the chair had looked so comfortable… 

He jerked awake, instantly alert. He turned towards the voice; Major Ematt, stood in the doorway, beckoned to him. 

Poe sighed. Apparently, his nap would have to wait. 

He rose, running a hand through dishevelled hair, and followed the major through the door and down the hallway. “What is it, Major?” 

“The general wants to see you.” He said bluntly. Nothing in Ematt’s voice was ever light, but now Poe could detect a hint of anticipation. 

Leia was in the command office, stood over her desk with curled fists digging into the wood. A holomap of the galaxy projected in the centre of the room, at which she stared. Finn was already there, stalking around the edge of it. 

The trooper relaxed a little when Poe waltzed in, his eyes sparkling brighter. A grin beamed across his face as he approached. Poe clasped hands with Finn, the brief gesture meaning so much more than just friendship. 

Neither of them had explicitly stated their feelings, but it was becoming clearer and clearer. To others too, it seemed, because when Poe looked up, Leia was smirking at them. Poe cleared his throat. “What’s the problem, general?” 

“Oh, there’s no problem. In fact, I have some very good news.” Leia continued to smirk. It had been only a couple of days after the First Order left – the reason why still unclear – and she already looked healthier. 

Food supplies were starting to trickle back in, the ships finding gaps in the Guavian’s rotations. Poe’s stomach no longer growled, and when he had finally gotten a full meal the night before, he had almost groaned. Now he understood why Rey scarfed her food down. 

“The Guavian Death Gang may be dangerous, but there are few of them, and many of us.” Leia jabbed a few buttons on her remote, and the holomap zoomed in on D’Qar. Indeed, around the circumference of the planet, the Guavian ships were dotted scarcely. “We have been tracking their rotations all night. There is a whole hour at midnight when there is no patrol directly above us, which means…” 

“Which means we can fly right out and find Rey.” Finn finished. There was a lilt in his voice that Poe hadn’t heard in weeks. A wave of jealousy crashed through him, like it did every time Finn and Rey were together. They had a bond Poe could never have with him, even if there was nothing romantic between them. 

“Exactly, Master Finn.” Luke stepped out of the shadows. It unnerved Poe whenever he did that; to think he was always there, just out of perception. 

“But we don’t know where Rey is.” Poe interjected. He moved around the holomap, gesturing for Leia to zoom it out again. _The Finalizer_ was shown, currently passing close to where Starkiller Base used to be. “The most logical place, like Finn said before, is _The Finalizer_. But…” He held up a hand as Finn opened his mouth. The trooper sank back at the command, and Poe flashed him a winning smile as apology. “Those First Order ships didn’t leave because they were called home for tea. Either Rey got away, which means she could be anywhere by now, or…” 

“My son has taken her somewhere.” Leia’s voice was quiet. It pained her to talk of Kylo Ren; every time his name was mentioned, the memories flashed across her eyes. Of the son she loved so much, and desperately wanted to see again. The son who betrayed her. 

Finn grumbled. An involuntary sound, Poe was sure, because Leia glared at him. “Both options have to be considered, Finn, whether you like them or not.” She turned to Luke. “Now, if Rey got away, what’s the likeliest place she would go?” 

Luke considered for a moment. “She would know better than to come here. She would know they’d follow her, and in doing so, she’d lead them right to us. As for Ahch-To, I doubt it.” 

“Takodana.” Finn said. They all looked at him. “She would go to Takodana.” 

“Are you sure?” Poe started, but Finn nodded quickly. 

“Rey loves it there. And she trusts Maz Kanata. That’s where she would go.” 

“And if she didn’t escape? Where would he take her?” Poe asked, moving his attention back to the twins. 

“That is an almost impossible question, commander.” Luke said, voice solemn. His head tilted downwards as he sighed. “My nephew is an unpredictable sort. If he wishes to train her elsewhere, he could go to Ahch-To, Coruscant, Arkanis, even Korriban.” 

_Korriban_. The name echoed through Poe’s mind. It sounded familiar, like something he had read in a history book, but no association would present itself. 

“The one place we know he won’t take her is Jakku.” Luke concluded. 

“How do we know that?” Finn’s voice bordered on a hiss. Despite Poe’s own hostilities towards Ren, Finn hated him more, and was not above thinking he would take Rey to her own living Hell. 

“It amazes me, Master Finn, that you think my nephew is beyond compassion.” Luke arched an eyebrow. “If you recall, I have said that Rey and my nephew share a Force bond. This allows them to connect on a deeper level than you or I can comprehend. Compassion and respect is the basis of such a bond, and I have no doubt my nephew has compassion for that girl, if not even for anyone else.” 

Finn opened his mouth to retort, but promptly shut it again. It was no good arguing with Luke; for all his passion, Finn could not win out over Luke’s calm logic. An advantage to being a Jedi. 

“So, we’ve narrowed it down to the entire galaxy.” Poe’s voice dripped with sarcasm. No-one bothered to reprimand him, for he was right. They had no way of knowing Rey’s situation, and even less of knowing where she was. 

A knock came at the door. Poe whirled to find Jessika Pava stood in the doorway. The pilot was a beloved friend of Poe’s; they had known each other for years, and he knew if he could choose anyone to have on his flank, it would be Jessika. 

The dark-haired pilot sent a small smile Poe’s way before turning her attention to Leia. The general waved her in. She wasn’t exceptionally tall, but beside Leia, anyone looked enormous. 

“We’ve just received a message, general.” Jessika murmured. It seemed nowadays Jessika was filling her time playing messenger, in between making unnecessary adjustments to her X-Wing. It was never perfect enough for her. 

Jessika and Rey would get along like a house on fire. 

“Let me guess, another mutilated contact of ours?” Leia grumbled. 

The general had told Poe of the incident on Arkanis. In all his travels, he had never heard of such brutality. Poe wasn’t sure to pray he never met the culprit, or that they found them soon enough to stop any more maimed corpses. 

“No, thank the Maker.” Jessika flipped her hair over her shoulder as she passed the note to Leia. To many at the Resistance base, Jessika was the catch of the century. She was beautiful, by most standards. Lush, dark hair, deep brown eyes and a certain swagger when she walked. Poe had often caught his pilots staring at her. 

Leia read the note, and Poe could have sworn she smiled. “We don’t have to narrow anything down.” She said, grinning even wider. “Rey is on Coruscant, staying in a luxury hotel close to the Jedi Temple.” 

Finn sucked in a breath. “And, is she…?” 

“My son is with her.” Leia’s grin turned smug. Why did he get the feeling this was what she wanted? 

Finn didn’t notice the change in her expression, because he was already in motion. “Then we go and get her. Now.” 

Poe slapped a hand on Finn’s chest, halting him in his tracks. The other man’s eyes met his, as Poe let his fingers linger over the erratic heartbeat a few seconds too long. He took his hand away and cleared his throat, “We need a plan, Finn.” 

“Yes…” Leia nodded, folding the note in her palm. “You two go, at midnight. Take Chewie and the _Falcon_ ; Poe, you take Jessika and few of your squadron. I doubt my son will come easily.” 

“ _What?_ ” Finn snapped. “He is not… That… I mean…” 

“Master Finn.” Luke said, his voice hard. His blue eyes grew cold as he fixed Finn with a glare. “My nephew will be returning with Rey, despite what you or he has to say about it.” 

Leia continued as if the confrontation had escaped her notice. “As soon as you fly out, go to lightspeed. The Death Gang will notice immediately and try to stop you. Which is when we open fire.” 

Jessika nodded, slipping out of the office. Finn followed her, still seething. Poe moved to leave as well, until a thought occurred to him. He turned back to the twins, who were both staring at him. Was he ridiculous for asking this? 

“What if… What if Rey doesn’t want to come back?” 

For all his Jedi training, Luke couldn’t help looking stricken. He hadn’t considered the possibility of his Padawan not returning at the first instance. 

Leia, however, nodded solemnly. “I trust Rey to do the right thing. For her.”

**

“I’m not sure about this.” Rey’s voice whispered behind him as Kylo led her through the crowds towards the bar. 

There were more First Order officers here than he thought. Perhaps losing the mask would have been the best idea. But as he wandered through them, as they parted for him with fearful glints in their eyes, he realised these men were the least of his worries. 

“What are you worried about?” He muttered back, his mask distorting it into a growl. Just hearing the sound again made him tense; the past few weeks had made him used to life without it. 

Disgust flared down the bond, and he could have sworn she was trying a Jedi Mind Trick to get him to take it off. _‘Doesn’t work that way, sweetheart.’_

_‘That your nickname for me now?’_ She quipped, her voice light. Though he could feel heat that flared on her cheeks. 

_‘Why? Don’t you like it?’_ Kylo had often heard his father calling his mother by the same nickname. Now that Rey had become much more to him than a mere apprentice, it seemed only fitting he use the same term. 

Instead of replying, she continued their aloud conversation, and hissed, “All these criminals who could turn us in at any moment.” 

They finally pushed through to the bar. Rey hopped up onto a stool as Kylo summoned the bartender. Before he could speak, Rey prodded a finger into his abdomen. “You can’t drink anything with that mask on.” 

Huffing, Kylo reached up and undid the clasps. She smirked, the way she always did when she won. It was a striking sight. 

His mask came off quickly, his cowl pulled over his head again in an instant. No-one could see him. Not one. 

“Two whiskies.” The bartender nodded and left. Kylo had seen him before, many a time during his visits here. Whether he was surprised by his true face, the man hadn’t let on. 

“Whisky?” Rey scrunched up her nose. “I thought you said we weren’t drinking all night.” 

“Not _all_ night.” As the bartender returned with their drinks, Kylo held his up in cheers to her. “Just part of it.” 

He knocked the glass back, the alcohol burning all the way down. The glass was full again in seconds. “As for your other qualm, these officers are on their annual break, meaning they won’t know a thing of our wanted status. We’re perfectly safe.” 

“And just how does it feel to be wanted by the First Order?” She knocked back her own glass, gagging on its strong taste. He chuckled at her, pouring her another glass. “That stuff is vile.” 

“You get used to it.” He clinked their glasses. “It feels… strange. They were never my friends, merely my allies, but it feels oddly liberating to know the entire galaxy is after me.” Kylo gestured to her with his glass. “And now you too.” 

She made a sound of agreement low in her throat. “We could go anywhere, be anyone… and they’d still be after us.” 

“The chase is always more fun.” He grinned, trying to ignore that she meant they would run together. It was still terrifying, this passion that grew for her with each passing day. He had accepted it, nurtured it, but now he was faced with a scarier truth. That not only was his home with her, hers was with him too.

**

Kylo had changed. Changed so much in so short a time. And Rey didn’t mean the light in him coming out, because that had always been there. But since Snoke, since last night even… Kylo was kinder, more playful, his darker side erupting only when hers did. 

She shouldn’t have worried about being open with him. The more she told him, the closer they became. 

Because that was something no-one else could understand. Poe had friends across the Resistance. Luke knew just about everyone in the galaxy. Even Finn, trapped in that dreadful place for so long, had comrades growing up. 

No-one else would understand. No-one else except Kylo would know what it felt like to be truly alone. 

As Rey was lost in her thoughts, Kylo set his glass down on the bar, and took her hand. She stared at their joined hands, before he was pulling her up. “Where are we going?” Her voice slurred. How much had she had to drink? 

She shook herself out of it as Kylo answered, “I told you we were going to have fun, didn’t I?” 

Rey tugged on his hand hard enough that he paused. “Do I trust you to define fun?” 

He chuckled. “Probably not.” 

She couldn’t help the smirk that spread across her face. At this moment, Finn would have told her she was crazy; there was danger written all over this, and she _loved_ it. And so did Kylo. 

“I said you could find the release you need.” He muttered, his face so close to hers she could see every fleck of green in his dark eyes. “Behind me, there is a table full of First Order officers. I can already feel the hatred running through you.” He looked her over, and smiled mischievously. “Take your pick. Make them bleed.” 

Part of Rey was horrified at the idea. She couldn’t do that; it wasn’t right; it went against everything Luke had ever taught her. But as Kylo stepped aside, and she beheld the officers, something inside her smothered those protests. 

Keeping one hand tight on her staff, her other pulsing with energy, she approached their table. They didn’t notice her, clad in all black, her face a shadow. A goddess of darkness. 

That is until she held her hand out, and the middle officer’s head snapped back, slamming into the wall. He pitched forward, blood pouring from his nose, unconscious but still breathing. 

The other officers made startled noises, some jumping out of their seats. Rey brought her fist closed and they were forced back into their seats. When their eyes clasped onto her, they were full of terror. 

_‘Control it. Take it easy.’_ Kylo’s voice in her head. Distant and distorted through the shadows in her mind. 

There was another voice, screaming from deep within her, pushing through in bursts. Her voice, telling her to keep going, never stop. 

_No. Control._ Yes, control. Rey pushed back at the monster taking over, kept it at bay. She understood now. That darkness, it had always been there. It wasn’t Kylo’s, it was hers. 

Terror flooded through her at the realisation. Darkness… No, she had to run. Had to get away from it… 

It pushed back. The two sides warring so violently the inside of her head started to pound. 

With one hand, she pushed her healing abilities into the first officer, the blood slowing from his nose. But with the other, she rifled through a woman’s mind. She screamed from the pain, images flooding into Rey’s mind. Of her childhood, her family, her betrayal of her husband to join the First Order. Rey growled, and tore a hole in her conscious. 

_‘Control, Rey. Take it easy.’_ The voice was getting farther and farther away, though the other one grew louder and louder. Fighting. Battling. Dark against Light. 

Until the man in the orange flight suit walked in. 

He was tall, stocky, dark hair and eyes, stubble around his mouth… Rey knew this man. He was from the Resistance. A pilot she often saw with Poe. A kind man, she had thought, with every reason to despise the First Order after they killed his family. 

A story. A lie he told to infiltrate their ranks. 

Because the pilot did not look weary of the dark figures cloaked in black, or the officers at the table. He merely took the empty seat, picking up a half-finished drink. 

And the darkness won. 

It flooded through her, taking over every nerve and vein. It sparked inside her. Her anger grew hotter and hotter. She had to get it out. 

So Rey flung out her hand, the Force pouring out of her and wrapping around the traitor’s throat. She squeezed tighter, tighter, tighter, lifting him out of his chair. His eyes bulged. His face filled with red as he struggled against the invisible hands. 

He was a traitor. He had to pay. 

_‘Rey.’_ The distant voice again. Familiar. It pulled her back a little. _‘Rey. Stop.’_

She growled at it. He was a traitor. He had to pay. 

_‘Rey!’_ Something barrelled into her from the side, catching her arm and spinning her around until she was faced with eyes she knew better than her own. 

The darkness leaked out of her. The pilot collapsed onto the floor, gasping for air. Rey collapsed into Kylo’s arms, tears cascading down her face. 

What had she done? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm I wonder what's next... 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought.


	18. Beautiful Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope the cliffhanger had you all waiting on edge ;) here's a little something to calm those nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone for your continued support and patience! I can't express my gratitude enough. Love you all! <3
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

The city walls were closing in around her. Rey could feel them suffocating her. They curved in, blurring together, until she was in a tomb of darkness. She would never escape. 

Rey ran, faster than she ever had. _Faster, faster, faster…_

She had to get away from that darkness. She tried to force the light to glow brighter than it ever had, burning away those shadows. But every time, it fizzled out. 

No. _No, no, no…_

_Your darkness. All yours._

The voice inside her head wasn’t hers. It wasn’t his. She recognised it, but no name came to mind. It was deep, bellowing, crushing her skull from the inside out. 

_Faster, faster, faster…_

The hotel. There. In front of her. 

Rey willed the last dregs of her energy to surface, as she blazed towards the doors, past the lower levels with its ogling residents, flying up every step and past Axane, who appeared to be sending a message. 

The suite entrance slammed closed behind her. _Safe_ , her voice now. _You’re safe now._

But it wasn’t enough. She could still hear the gasping breaths, still see the fear in his eyes. By her hand. 

Rey tore off her cloak, her staff clattering to the ground. She ripped the buns from her hair; she no longer deserved this mark of family. What would they have said?

Her whole body racked as tears poured down her cheeks. So many that her vision blurred. She barely saw as she made it to the refresher, stepping into the shower fully clothed. 

The moment the water hit her, every muscle relaxed, allowing the tears to come faster and hotter. Her legs gave out and she collapsed under the showerhead, back against the cold tiles and head tilted to meet the water. If she was lucky, she’d drown before she had to face what she’d done.

**

Kylo Ren had let her go the moment she struggled against his grip. He had sensed the darkness in her, all the way back to Starkiller. But he had never guessed... He should have known. 

Now, as the roles were reversed, as she ran from everything, Kylo stayed to pick up the pieces. 

There wasn’t much he could see through the gap in his mask, but Kylo recognised fear when he saw it. The sombre air hung heavy over the bar. The First Order officers were quiet, casting wary glances his way every few seconds; the Resistance traitor had scuttled off to tend to his wounds; everyone else clutched their drinks tight, praying he wouldn’t turn on them. 

The only one who deserved his wrath was the traitor. Kylo wanted nothing more than to finish Rey’s job, but if he did, what would he be then? The monster she used to think he was? Or were they both monsters now? 

No. Rey could never be a monster. She may have been driven by passion and rage, but there wasn’t a part of her that was cold and cruel. 

So, Kylo did what he least expected. He turned and left. 

As he reached the door, glimpsing Rey’s fleeing form down the alleyway, Kylo whirled upon the room. Channelling the deepest well of his power, he commanded, “None of you will remember what occurred here tonight. You will return to your evenings, and your lives, and forget our presence.” 

Understanding shone in the eyes of those he saw. Those he didn’t, Kylo sensed their bodies relax, their smiles returning. He was surprised it had even worked. In his experience, Snoke was the only one powerful enough to perform a Jedi Mind Trick on more than one person at once. 

Kylo didn’t dwell on it, however. Rey needed him, and he had to get to her before she did something stupid.

**

Rey wasn’t sure how long she had been sat there, only that she was soaking wet. The water clung to her hair, her clothes, like the shadows that clung to her mind. The exhaustion had seeped into her bones, making her limbs too heavy to move. 

“Rey.” 

The voice startled her, so much that when her head snapped up, it cracked against the tiles. 

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” The voice said again. Rey looked up, through the open shower doors – where she realised she’d have to dry the refresher floor – to see a figure ensconced in an ethereal blue. 

The man who faced her wasn’t Anakin Skywalker, Kylo’s frequent visitor. This man was slightly older, golden-brown hair adorning his head and face. His expression was humble, almost smiling with the creases surrounding his ice blue eyes. 

Something stirred in Rey at the sight of him, much like it had at the older man on Endor. But she hadn’t the energy to put the pieces together 

“Come to reprimand me for my actions?” When she spoke, her voice was drawn and withered, as if all the fight was gone. 

Rey wasn’t surprised. 

“And what might those actions be?” The ghost said, arching an eyebrow. 

A choked laugh escaped her. A laugh that promptly became fresh tears as she recalled the pilot’s eyes. 

“I’m not here to scold you, Rey.” The ghost perched on the edge of the sink, folding his hands inside his robes. They were Jedi robes, from the old times, long and billowing so they could suit any weather. “Do you know who I am?” 

Rey shook her head. 

“My name is Obi Wan Kenobi.” 

_What?_ Rey’s eyes widened as she took him in. Obi Wan Kenobi. Anakin Skywalker’s old master. Old Ben, as Luke liked to call him. She’d heard so many stories about him; how he guided Luke into destroying the first Death Star, how he gave his life to save his young apprentice. Though none about his life before the Empire, she regretted to admit.

“I’m sure you’ll learn enough about that one day.” The ghost chuckled. Could he hear inside her head? At the thought, Obi Wan laughed again. “Well, of course I can, Rey.” 

“How do you know my name?” She tried to rise, but neither the slick floor nor her exhausted bones would allow her. Obi Wan put out a hand, gesturing for her to remain there. It wasn’t the most dignified position, but he appeared to understand. 

“Why wouldn’t I know your name?” He shrugged. “I’ve been watching over you for many years.” 

“Why?” Nothing he said was making sense. Why would a Jedi Knight – a legend like him – watch over her on Jakku? 

“So many questions, so little time.” He waved her off, though his eyes turned sombre. “But I did keep tabs on you. Because I knew that one day you would grow into your powers, and you could accomplish great things. 

“Living on a planet like Jakku, I knew it would be hard for you to control your anger, your pain. In fact, I wish I could have been there to stop it all.” Obi Wan turned his head away, wincing as if it hurt him to remember. The memories lingered at the edge of Rey’s own mind. She let them linger for longer than she should have. “This darkness in you… It is your own, and it is your burden to bear. But you _can_ control it. You just have to let go of your past.” 

Rey huffed a laugh, stifling the fresh tears in her eyes. “How can I let it go?” 

“You will. With time.” Something crashed outside the ‘fresher door. Obi Wan jerked his head towards it, where Kylo had no doubt returned in her wake. “He will help you. Just as you are helping him.” 

He started to fade before her, a lingering smile playing on his lips. “Wait.” She called, her voice barely louder than a mumble. “It’s going to get worse, isn’t it?” 

He didn’t have to answer. She already knew. She could feel the darkness ebbing at the edge of her conscious. It was growing and evolving every second – manifesting into her latest mistake. What would it take to finally tip her over the edge? 

“We’ll see each other again, Rey.” Obi Wan said before disappearing entirely. 

Rey sank further against the shower tiles, the water still cascading over her. It felt heavier than before, like a weight pressing on her shoulders, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn it off. 

The refresher door opened a crack. Rey didn’t look up to see Kylo’s head peer in; her face was buried in her knees. Soft footsteps was the only alert she had to him entering before he was sat beside her under the water. 

She craned her neck to the side, watching him as he pulled off his heavy robes, tossing them onto the refresher floor and tilting his head to meet the water. She was grateful for his silence, as he slid a strong arm around her shoulders. The movement was simple, but it was all she needed to set the tears running again. Rey buried her head in Kylo’s shoulder, allowing the sobs to come and her body to shake. 

Six months ago, this would have been unthinkable, but right now, he was the only one who understood. And as his other hand ran through her soaked hair, he was the only one she wanted with her.

**

Kylo was shaking as he took Rey into his arms. The water was warm but it did nothing to calm him. He couldn’t help the sick feeling spreading through him. This was a woman he cared about, a woman he loved, and he had failed her. This was his fault. 

_‘I’m sorry, sweetheart.’_ He whispered as he stroked her hair. He wasn’t sure if she could hear him, or if she was even listening. _‘This is my fault. I’m sorry, Rey.’_

By then, Kylo was certain she couldn’t hear him. He looked down at her, head resting on his chest. Her eyes were closed, fluttering in her sleep. His lips met her forehead. _‘I won’t fail you again, my love.’_

Reaching up, Kylo turned the water off and sat there with her until they had both dried off. Then, carefully manoeuvring her in his arms, Kylo carried her into the bedroom. He wanted nothing more than to keep her close that night. On the edge of the bond, he could feel fear pricking. There was nothing he could do to stop the nightmares. She would cry, maybe even scream. And he wanted to be close when she did, so she could claw at his skin and be soothed by the knowledge that he was still there. That he was her reality, not the dreams. 

Kylo set her down, struggling to pull back the sheets. She was still fully clothed, only her cloak and staff missing. He’d found them strewn across the floor when he’d returned, so now they were settled carefully on the sofa. He removed her boots, hoping that would make her more comfortable, and left the rest. 

Before climbing into the other side, Kylo tugged off his own boots and tunic. He was sure she wouldn’t mind; after all, she had seen his bare chest before. And he hated sleeping in his tunic. 

Kylo lay facing Rey, the silk sheets massaging his aching muscles. For now, she slept soundly, only the occasional wince breaking through. He’d never realised quite how serene she looked asleep. Awake, she was a fiery tempest; soft features moulded into defiance. Asleep, she was an angel. An angel he didn’t deserve. 

He resisted the urge to reach out and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. He didn’t have to wonder why she’d taken it out, and he wouldn’t ask. But he did prefer it down. It made her seem stronger, less naïve than the scavenger vehemently believing in her family’s return. 

Kylo would have been lying if he said he knew what happened to her family. He could only suspect the First Order had something to do with it; Snoke’s mind had often leaked into his during the torture sessions. Most of it Kylo shut out, not wanting to see what horrors Snoke had released on the galaxy. After Starkiller Base, however, Kylo started picking up on little details: images of a desert planet, a technological graveyard. 

Snoke knew. And Kylo silently promised her he would find her answers. Even if he had to kill the Supreme Leader to get them. 

_Kill the Supreme Leader and leave the First Order? You would do that for her?_

The questions would have suffocated him if the answer weren’t so simple: 

_Yes. Yes, I would._

**

_The darkness was closing in. Shadows danced at the edge of her vision, the faces within laughing and beckoning to her. The voices drew her closer, closer, closer…_

_“You’re mine now.” A booming voice chuckled. She recognised the sound, the battered face, the looming form encased in the glow of a hologram._

_Then another face._ Her face. _Grinning wildly, lit up by the red lightsaber at her side. Her eyes sparkled electric gold as the saber spun in her hands. Rey – the other Rey – sneered, “There is no other way.”_

_Then she swung her saber down…_

Rey jolted awake, screaming into the hollow chamber. _No, not here, not alone again…_

Her heart thundered, tears blurring her vision. She couldn’t have been left there again. _Not again, not again, not again…_

But as she struggled against the sheets, big hands pinned her gently against the bed. A great form loomed over her, speaking softly, but the words didn’t reach her. She struggled against their grip, so they trapped her beneath their body. 

Warmth seeped into her from their bare chest. Their long dark hair tickled her cheeks. Onyx eyes pleaded with her to calm down. Then she heard the voice: “Rey, shush. It’s okay. It’s _me_.” 

“Ben?” Rey whimpered. 

“If you like.” He sighed, rolling his eyes as he moved off her. He collapsed beside her, keeping his body close enough that his warmth soothed her. 

She furiously wiped at the tears on her cheeks. Hadn’t she cried enough tonight? She stripped off her vest and threw off the sheets in any attempt to cool down, then fell back onto her pillow. 

Kylo had his head braced on one hand as he gazed at her. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and met his gaze. He blinked, once, twice. His lips parted slightly, unable to process her words. “I’m sorry I couldn’t control it.” 

“Don’t ever apologise for that.” He commanded, though there was no malice in his voice. “I failed you. This is my fault.” 

He really believed that. Rey turned to him, placing a hand above his scar. Kylo leaned into the touch, with or without meaning to. “You saved me, Ben Solo.” 

This time he wasn’t fazed by the name. “What do you mean?” 

“I… I heard your voice. Through everything else in there.” She averted her gaze, shame heating her cheeks. How could she have let herself be overwhelmed? What would Luke say? She tried to block out that thought. “I heard your voice calling me, and it brought me back. Thank you.” 

Kylo didn’t get a chance to reply before her lips were on his. She hadn’t expected herself to do it. Neither had he apparently, because he went stiff for a moment. 

The kiss was awkward and strange, nothing like the dream. They were still getting used to it, to each other. 

Rey pulled away after a couple of seconds, part of her disappointed. She had wanted the dream. She had wanted better. She just wasn’t good at this. 

But Kylo wasn’t done with her yet. He caught her face in a paw and pressed his mouth to hers. 

Starlight exploded behind her eyelids as he deepened the kiss, hands spreading through her hair. Her fingers matched his actions, tangling in his mane before spreading down across his chest. The muscles were hard, the skin smooth, just like she’d imagined. 

Rey’s body moved without her telling it too, as if it knew exactly how to get what it wanted, and Kylo gasped onto her lips when her leg hitched over his hip. He grabbed hold of it, tugging her hard against him. 

He drew away from her lips, teeth dragging along the bottom one. His body was now looming above her – 

“I won’t…” He muttered, still catching his breath. “Not tonight.” 

He was right. Tonight wasn’t the right time. All Rey wanted was for him to hold her through the night – through the nightmares and the tears. 

So, he let her leg go, moving her arms around her torso again. Rey let her head rest on his shoulders, listening to the beat of his heart. 

For the first time that night, Rey’s breaths were even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!   
> The next chapter's a big one; I'll get it to you as soon as I can.  
> Let me know what you thought :)


	19. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo go exploring, before the unexpected happens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry to have kept you all waiting so long! I didn't realise just how long it had been! I've just been so busy lately and this chapter took some doing, but it's here now and I hope it's worth it. I can't thank you all enough for your patience and support! Thank you thank you thank you!!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Rey had seen love in all its forms during her short time. She had seen parents dote on their children, seen old friends reunite with large smiles, seen lovers whose eyes never wandered far from each other. She had even seen it between droids who exchange more harsh words than kind ones. 

But she had never experienced it until now. 

The sun broke over the horizon, shining through the window and casting Kylo in a pale halo. Rey watched the light soak over his skin, his scars. The scar she had given him was more faded now than the first time she’d seen it. She hadn’t thought to try Force healing it, hadn’t practiced in so long, but Rey couldn’t help enjoying the memory of her on his face. 

The way he enjoyed seeing her wearing black, as if it bound them to each other even without the Force. 

Kylo’s eyes opened, squinting in the sunlight. He lifted his face to meet it for a moment, before he groaned and buried his head back into the pillow. Rey stifled a laugh and prodded him in the chest. He turned back to her, one eyebrow arched. She placed a hand on his face, and whispered, “How many?” 

“Three.” He replied, and seeing the glimmers of sadness return to her face, he smirked, “Meaning you woke me up three times last night.” 

She huffed a laugh, sitting up. The covers no longer suffocated her, but they were warm. The spring heat was pleasant on her skin, cooled by the gentle breeze. The air was thick with ship oil and alcohol floating up from the lower levels, and countered by the jasmine flowers that adorned the balcony and the scent of burning spices coming from the man by her side. 

She closed her eyes, breathing it in, letting it tingle inside. When she opened them again, Kylo was smiling at her. He cast his glance away the moment their eyes locked, his cheeks flushing. 

“So…” She started, chewing on her bottom lip. “We’re not going back to _The Finalizer_ any time soon?” 

“That would be our best option right now.” Kylo said, running fingers through his hair. If it weren’t for her incredulity, she would have stared at the way it ran smoothly over his knuckles. 

“I thought you said…” 

“I know.” He sighed. “They are looking for me. And if they find me, I’m as good as dead. Going back and lying to the Supreme Leader about your training is the only beneficial option.” 

Rey stayed quiet. She could feel his building resentment of the First Order sparking down the bond. Even if he wouldn’t return to D’Qar with her, it was getting clearer and clearer that his back was firmly turned on Snoke. 

Kylo had been staring off into the distance. Getting caught assuredly meant death. And going back meant facing Snoke; would that be any better a fate? 

He cleared his throat. “I don’t think one more day could hurt.” 

Rey shook her head, not bothering to hide her smile. He was still putting her first, no matter the consequences. She wanted to lean over and kiss him. Instead she got up and pulled on her boots. 

She grabbed her staff from the floor and turned back to him. “Come on, I think a tour of this planet is finally in order.”

**

Leia had spent all night with her teams, planning and mapping out every possibility. Her eyes were exhausted and her arms hung limp at her sides. But there was no time for sleep. Midnight was fast approaching, and everyone was ready for their mission. 

In the largest hangar, Finn and Chewie were priming the _Falcon_. The trooper was hardly happy about the specifics of their mission, but Leia had no doubt he would obey. He was a good man at heart. 

BB-8 beeped excitedly beside Poe. Leia could only hear snippets of their conversation as she entered the hangar, but it seemed BB-8 wanted to accompany them. Poe ushered the droid onto the _Falcon_ , which stood tall and proud over her. 

Leia smiled, though it held no happiness. _Han would have loved this mission._

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and continued forward. Chewie came down the loading door first and pulled the general into a bone-crushing hug. “Be careful.” Leia whispered into his fur. The Wookiee growled in response. 

Finn descended second. He gave a respectful nod to the general before approaching Poe. It was no secret around the base that the two were close, so Leia watched their short, awkward hug with a smirk. The pilot patted Finn’s arm with a gentle smile before heading towards the other hangars. 

A part of Leia wished she were going with them, but she knew her presence would not be beneficial to bringing home her son. Which was why Luke remained on D’Qar too, despite his grumbles about having no excitement in his life anymore. 

Leia had only rolled her eyes. 

Now, she watched the hangar doors slide open. No landing lights were sparkling outside, submerging the landing strip in darkness. The stars were covered in dark grey clouds, promising rain in the next few hours. Not a Guavian ship in sight. 

The X-Wings, led by Poe and flanked by Jessika and Snap, were the first to ascend. Only a small squadron had been sent. They couldn’t afford to reveal every ship they had. Then the _Falcon_ raised itself off the ground, tucking in its legs and gliding out of the hangar. 

For a moment, their engines were all Leia could hear. Until the horizon filled with spots too dark to be clouds, hulking ships zooming towards them. They were faster than most Resistance ships, and would reach the base in a matter of minutes. 

Poe and the _Falcon_ made the jump the moment they hit the atmosphere. The exact moment the base exploded into cannon fire.

**

Rey had been reluctant as they reached the lower levels of the hotel. She had given Axane a tentative smile as they passed her desk, but the alien had looked at her as if she should be wary. And as they descended, passing various less civilised tenants, Rey’s throat closed up more and more. 

All she could think about was how she’d raced past these same tenants, these same walls the night before in her terror, back to the only safe place she knew. Going back felt like spiralling into that darkness again. 

She shook it from her mind. Rey didn’t quite believe Obi-Wan when he said she could beat this. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, those shadows were always gnawing the edge of her conscious. 

But somehow it was comforting to know the Jedi Master was watching over her. 

Kylo’s stalked strong beside her. He’d gone without gloves this morning, and his face was visible. Calm, despite their surroundings. Rey remained close to him the whole way, shoulders bumping every few seconds. 

_‘Are you alright?’_ He looked down at her, eyes blazing with concern. 

She avoided his gaze. _‘Fine.’_

Kylo knew full well she was lying, but didn’t press the issue. He sent her images of his times on Coruscant with Leia. He was such a happy little boy, chasing R2-D2 through the senate building, laughing when they were reprimanded by officials. Rey again wondered what had turned him so against the light. At least it soothed her anxious heart. 

He led her through the sunlit streets of Coruscant, the mist above them splitting the light into fragments, but it was warm. Warm enough that she was grateful she left her cloak behind. 

Rey wasn’t sure where he was taking her, but her trust ran deeper than her wariness, though she kept one eye searching for danger. 

They had been walking for almost an hour before Kylo slowed. The mouth of the alleyway expanded into a large square. Spacious enough for endless crowds, countless landing pads, and more stalls than Rey could see. 

“If we’re going to start anywhere,” Kylo said, “It’s here.” 

The stalls were lit in brilliant sunshine, blasting iridescent colour onto the grand glass buildings. This was hardly like Niima Outpost, covered in dust and stinking of grease. Rey inhaled, taking in the spices and the sugars and the citruses. 

She had a little money left from her shopping trip a few nights before. But she knew no amount of credits could be enough. Even from the outskirts, she laid her eyes upon at least a hundred things she wanted. 

Turning back to Kylo, she found that he was already holding out an arm. She slipped her hand around his upper arm, his muscles tensing at her touch, before leading him towards the first stall. 

The vendor greeted them with a small nod of his head, continuing his conversation with the customer beside him. Kylo ignored the vendor and picked up a few pieces of the fruit from the table. Takodanian fruit. 

Rey didn’t recognise half the berries and currants that adorned the stall. All of them were sweet to her senses and she would have stood there to try them all if Kylo hadn’t passed her the exact fruit Maz had given to her on Takodana. 

It was a light purple in colour, and smelled of the fresh water lakes surrounding Maz’s castle. Rey took it from Kylo’s hand, rolling it between her palms. 

“It’s called a Starfruit.” He said. “And it’s just ripe enough for peeling.” 

Rey scrambled in her bag for her credit chip as the vendor finished with his last customer. But Kylo stopped her with a hand on her wrist. He pulled his own credit chip out, and asked the vendor to bag ten for her along with the one she already carried. 

The alien chuckled heartily and accepted the payment. He handed the bag to Kylo, who shoved it in Rey’s knapsack. 

When they were a few paces away from the stall, Rey said, “You didn’t have to do that.” 

Kylo shrugged. 

Rey could barely contain her grin, and as she began peeling the Starfruit’s skin, her feet were almost skipping. Taking a bite, exotic juice burst into her mouth, dribbling down her chin. Kylo laughed as she wiped at her chin. 

Reaching into her knapsack, she grasped another piece and tossed it at his head. He caught it with ease, however, and began peeling it. Within a half hour, they’d gone through half the bag. 

They were nearing the centre of the square, where the market stalls formed a massive circle. Inside the clearing, a band of musicians were playing while professional dancers whirled around them. 

Rey stopped at the edge, so entranced by the dancers that she almost didn’t hear Kylo say, “I’ll be back in a moment.” 

Then his warmth at her back was gone. She barely noticed as the rhythm of the instruments flowed through her. She swayed back and forth, imitating the dancers’ movements. They twirled around each other, taking different partners every few moments. Rey had never danced like that. Never danced at all, in fact. 

As the song changed, the crowds of spectators rushed forward to dance with them. 

“Why don’t you join them?” 

Rey startled, whirling on Kylo who stood not inches behind her. He wore a gentle smirk, encouraging her to enjoy herself. Wasn’t it the least she deserved? 

“Only if you do.” 

It was Kylo’s turn to look startled. Even without the bond, it was clear he’d never danced before either. It was new to them both, and they were both hesitant. But where was the harm? No-one recognised them. To everyone here, they were two fools in love. 

And Rey supposed that was true. 

So, she grabbed Kylo’s hand and dragged him into the crowd. 

**

Kylo had decided Rey was crazy only two seconds after she pulled him into the clearing. She pushed past masses of people moving awkwardly to the music, laughing and jeering. Couples danced entwined in each other’s arms, children ran through the fray, and nobody once stopped to watch him in fear. 

It was oddly liberating to be unknown. To be here with her, without fear or duty. 

Rey paused close to the centre, the music far louder here. She turned to him, evidently waiting for him to take the lead. Kylo wasn’t sure how to do this. His mother had tried to teach him how to dance when he was young, but he was sure getting into wrestling matches with Chewbacca wasn’t part of it. 

He wrapped one arm around Rey’s back, settling his hand just below her shoulder blades. Taking her other hand in his, Kylo pulled her close. He started to move his feet, eyes trained downwards so he wouldn’t step on her toes. 

Rey laughed a little at his concentration. “Relax. Not everything you do has to be perfect.” 

“Says the perfectionist.” With that, he twirled her and tugged her back. She stumbled into his chest, which had them both laughing. 

They danced through the whole song, and the next, and the next. Rey stumbled and Kylo caught her. Kylo made a wrong move and Rey snickered. Her staff hit him multiple times in the face, and more than once did her hip collide with his lightsaber. 

But Kylo didn’t want to be anywhere else. 

As the music slowed, Kylo twirled her again until her back hit his chest. She tried to turn around, but his arm snaked around her waist to keep her there. Twisting her neck, her gaze met his, filled with simmering desire. He was sure she felt it radiating from him too. 

Everywhere her body met his made him tingle with crazed yearning. Heat pounded through him, quickening his heart and sucking the breath from his lungs. Their lips were so close. 

He recalled what he’d said last night. That this wasn’t the right time; it still wasn’t. She may have forgotten for a few beautiful hours, but the sadness, the grief and the anger remained. 

But was it so selfish to want her as badly as he did? 

As he drew closer, Rey’s eyes fluttered closed, waiting for the moment of truth. 

The rumble of incoming ships meant it never came.

**

Rey pulled away from Kylo, startled by the clamour. Squinting upwards, Rey saw a group of ships coming in to land. 

All the dancers had cleared, the musicians having run from the squadron’s approach. She and Kylo hurried back to the edge of the clearing, praying it wasn’t who she thought it was. 

If the First Order had found them, it was only moments until they were dead. Minutes, perhaps, if they could fight their way out. But as Rey finally recognised the ships descending into the clearing, she felt a shred of hope. 

Glancing back at Kylo, who wore a scowl more vicious than Rey had ever seen, her hope turned to sorrow. 

The _Falcon_ touched down not thirty feet away, its loading door already opening. The X-Wings that followed were just as quick at disembarking; Rey caught a glimpse of Poe pulling off his helmet as he jumped from the cockpit. 

But her attention was diverted by the man running towards her. “Rey!” 

Rey couldn’t help the joy that overcame her at seeing her best friend again. She burst forward, wrapping Finn in a hug as they met. “Oh, thank the Maker you’re safe. We thought –” 

Rey was promptly shoved behind Finn. She stumbled a little, catching herself and whirling on her friend to find him advancing on Kylo, whose lightsaber was sizzling at his side. Before she knew she was moving, Rey slid between them. “Don’t touch him.” 

Finn looked at her as if she’d gone crazy. “Rey, what are you doing?” 

She didn’t answer; didn’t need to as the rest of his fleet joined him. Chewie descended the loading bay, growling a hello at her, but falling silent at the sight of Kylo behind her. BB-8 raced off the _Falcon_ behind him, beeping excitedly and bumping into her leg. The droid didn’t seem fazed by Kylo, but still kept his distance. 

Poe clapped Finn on the shoulder, casting a wary glance towards Rey. Nothing like his usual lopsided grin. Poe’s squadron – Jessika, Snap and the others – stopped just behind their leader, blasters in hand. 

“Well isn’t this a lovely welcome.” Kylo snarled, twirling his lightsaber once, showering sparks everywhere. 

The squadron loaded their blasters, ready to train them on Kylo. Rey manoeuvred herself so she blocked even more of his body. 

Poe held a hand out in caution to his squadron as he said, “We found you then. Finn here was beginning to think we never would.” 

Rey managed a smirk. It was so difficult to remind herself these were her friends when they had every intention to kill the man she would have kissed not five minutes before. “How did you know I was on Coruscant?” 

“A message.” Jessika called from the back. 

_‘Axane.’_ Kylo grumbled in her mind. Of course, that’s what the alien had been doing when she’d raced past last night. 

“We’re here to bring you home, Rey.” Finn said carefully, not taking his eyes off Kylo’s glare. “Leia’s been worried sick. We all have.” 

Kylo tensed at the mention of his mother. 

Rey inhaled deeply. She wanted to go back to D’Qar, to see Leia and Luke again. But it wasn’t her home. Not without – 

She whirled. Kylo’s gaze softened as it rested on her, the real man that lay beneath the monstrous exterior. His lightsaber clicked off as she said, “Come with us.” 

He drew back. “You know I can’t do that.” 

“And you can’t go back.” 

“Rey, I –” 

“No, listen. If you go back without me, Snoke will kill you.” She glanced back at her friends. “Come with us,” This time she grabbed his arm. “Come _home_.” 

Kylo looked as if he were about to say yes, but Finn cleared his throat. “Rey, there’s something you should know.” 

Confused, Rey faced her best friend. “I don’t think he’s told you about what’s happened on D’Qar while you’ve been gone.” 

Poe and the others found somewhere, anywhere else to look when Finn spoke. She muttered to Kylo, “What is he talking about?” 

“I have no idea.” 

A twinge of guilt pulsed down the bond. “Don’t lie to me.” 

“They tried to starve us out.” Finn interjected. 

Horrified, she stepped away from Kylo. “What?” 

“The First Order enlisted themselves with the Guavian Death Gang. They surrounded us, blocking every trade route. We were starving.” Despite his self-righteous tone, Finn’s words were sincere. 

“Didn’t you know?” Poe whispered. 

Tears filled Rey’s eyes. She could barely look at any of them as she shook her head. If she’d known… If she’d have known, would she be there now? 

“You lied to me.” Her voice wasn’t angry, wasn’t a snarl or a shout. It was small. Broken. “You betrayed me.” 

“Rey, I –” Kylo tried to reach out for her, eyes sparkling in agony. She couldn’t bear to see him like that, so she turned away, moving towards her friends. Towards the side she should have stayed on in the first place. 

What a fool she had been. 

“Goodbye, Ben Solo.” 

Rey walked into the _Millennium Falcon_ and didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Now what?
> 
> You'll have to wait to find out ;) hopefully not as long as last time though...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought down in the comments :)


	20. Weight of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend returns and helps Rey to see the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you all so much for your patience, and your incredible support. Reading all your lovely comments makes my day!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Damn him. Damn him and the entire galaxy. 

Rey halted in the middle of the _Falcon_. Her feet wouldn’t move another inch, the momentum gone. All the anger, the confusion… All gone, replaced by that empty chasm. 

Her legs gave out, every part of her cracking like glass. She grasped her staff for support, but she only had the energy to collapse onto the booth. The world around her faded away as the tears came thick and fast. 

She wasn’t sure how long she cried. Or even why. 

She should have known he was playing her for a fool. Should have known he would turn around and betray her at any moment. But that didn’t explain the desire in his kisses, or the bravery in his defence of her, or the agonising passion that consumed their bond. 

Rey could feel it now, could feel his heart breaking with her own. Like their souls were cleaved in two. 

She threw up her shields against it. The bond went quiet. 

And she was alone once more.

**

Kylo couldn’t hear anything over the roar in his mind. 

It was deafening, threatening to tear him apart. Without her, there was no calm. 

He remained staring at the sky, even after the _Falcon_ and its convoy disappeared. He remained in that square, lightsaber clutched in hand, until the sun went down. 

And suddenly the darkness was beautiful. It swallowed him whole, and he revelled in it. It washed away his pain, twisting it into the rage he once swore by. The rage that left burning scars across Coruscant. 

He hadn’t told her before. Because he’d thought it wouldn’t matter. He’d thought he’d never lose her, because he’d always be there to protect her. 

But how could he hope to protect her from himself? 

**

“What’s the general going to say when she finds out we ignored her orders?” 

A distant voice broke through the wariness of Rey’s exhausted mind. She hadn’t said a word as the others boarded, Poe replacing Chewie – who’d gone to fly Black Leader – as the _Falcon_ ’s pilot so he could talk to Finn. 

Rey strained to hear the rest of the conversation. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Finn grumbled. 

The sound of a hand slapping a shoulder. “Yes, it does. She said specifically to bring him home, whether we liked it or not. You jeopardised that.” 

“I had to tell her the truth.” 

“What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.” Poe snapped. 

Confusion swept into Rey, jerking her awake. Because she would have known, even if Finn hadn’t told her. They would have arrived on D’Qar to find the block. But then… if the block were there, how did they get out? 

Rey rose on shaking legs, gripping her staff hard for support. She dragged herself towards the cockpit, where Poe fiddled with controls and Finn sat beside him. She placed either hand on the backs of their seats, making them turn to her. 

Finn opened his mouth to say something, but settled with a soft smile. She glanced herself in the reflection of the window. Her eyes were red raw, her hair mangled from all the pulling. 

Poe took one glance and decided not to get involved. 

“How did you get out?” She said, her voice hoarse. 

They both went rigid. Finn was the first to feign confusion, “What do you mean?” 

“If there are First Order and Guavian ships surrounding D’Qar, how did you get out?” She repeated, voice stronger. 

“Well,” Poe swallowed. “The First Order ships weren’t actually there when we left.” 

Her voice hardened. “You told me there were First Order ships.” 

“There were.” Finn now. “Now there aren’t. And I doubt there are many Guavians left after the assault last night.” 

A heartbeat. A single, full heartbeat rang through her chest. Not a broken rasp, trying to keep going around the shards. And it was full of anger. 

“What happened to them?” She said, as calmly as she could. 

“Does it matter?” 

Rey glared at her best friend, wishing she wasn’t tempted to claw his face off. 

“What happened to them?” She repeated through gritted teeth. 

“They left. About a week ago.” 

A week ago. The same time they’d left for Coruscant. The same time the First Order started hunting them. 

Rey almost fell to her knees again. 

**

It would take eight hours to get back to D’Qar. BB-8 had calculated it the moment the _Falcon_ hit lightspeed. For a small droid, he was quick in his functions and took pride in the smiles given to him by the humans. 

But his master had merely waved him off when BB-8 had passed on the information. Poe appeared distressed, something BB-8 took to mean he wished to be left alone. Finn was quieter than usual, but the droid never particularly found him interesting conversation anyway. 

So, he had approached Rey, whom he considered his closest friend save Poe. But Rey was crying. And when she wasn’t, she was staring blankly at the wall. He attempted to comfort her with light conversation. 

All he got from her was the occasional nod. Eventually, the little droid gave up and went to find his master. Even if Poe wanted to be separate from the humans, perhaps he wouldn’t mind his best friend. 

“Hey, buddy.” Poe said as BB-8 approached. The pilot was fusing a wire together in one of the control panels. 

BB-8 beeped his response and fell silent. 

“No, I’m not upset with Finn.” Poe muttered, moving onto the next wire. It was several moments before he sighed, “Alright, I am.” 

BB-8 had always been a curious and mischievous droid, and so couldn’t resist the urge to ask why. 

“Because he had no right to tell Rey those things.” Poe shook his head. “Not that she didn’t deserve to know. But he jeopardised the mission… And, well, look what it’s done to her.” 

BB-8 made it clear he didn’t understand what his master meant. 

“Neither do I, buddy.” Poe glanced wistfully towards the common area. “Neither do I.”

**

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He’d still lied to her. 

But he’d also tried to protect her. They’d even talked about running, playing a game of hide and seek across the galaxy with the First Order. Always on the move. Always together. 

While the Resistance was fine without her. 

How could she have been so foolish? Believed every word that came out of his mouth. Because she was in way over her head. 

But she’d also believed every word from Finn. Why wouldn’t she? Someone she trusted – but someone that hated him more than anything. 

Perhaps she shouldn’t listen to either of them. Not to him, to Finn, Poe, Luke, Leia – any of them. They were all playing games to get what they wanted out of her. Even her ghostly visitors. Though their advice was sound and their intentions meant well, she couldn’t help but suspect them of keeping more secrets. 

Which was why, the moment they touched down on D’Qar, Rey grabbed her staff, ran for the door and followed the voice calling her into the depths of the base. 

Finn tried to call her back. Leia tried to stop her on her way in, Luke by her side watching with a disapproving eye. She didn’t stop to greet Jessika, or scan the wreckage of Guavian ships on the landing strip. 

The voice was calling her. Deeper, further down. She passed the control rooms, the meeting offices, her own chambers, until she reached a non-descript door at the end of one hallway. 

She knew the voice. One that she could always let in, always trust in. Even from the moment they met, Rey knew she could put faith in Maz Kanata. 

“Ah, I was wondering how long it’d take for you to find me.” Maz smiled as Rey opened the door. 

When Rey didn’t move inside, the old alien strode over and took her hand, indicating for her to kneel. She did, her gaze focusing on Maz’s large eyes as they came face to face. 

Tears welled up in her eyes again, and Rey tried to blink them back. Maz placed a hand on the side of Rey’s face. “My dear child, I am truly sorry.” 

“What do I do?” Her voice was hoarse. 

“That part is for you to decide. But perhaps I can help calm your troubled thoughts.” Maz led her to the adjacent armchairs and gestured for Rey to sit in one. She picked up a tea pot and moved to pour some in Rey’s mug. Before she could, Rey grabbed the whisky bottle beside it. Maz nodded. “Good choice.” 

She took a swig, almost gagging on the burning taste. Maz then took the bottle and poured them two glasses. 

“The twins are looking for you.” Maz stated as she settled into her armchair. 

“Let them.” 

Rey was surprised at her own answer. She thought she would be thrilled to see them when she finally got back. But all she felt was despair, the shadows closing in around her mind again. 

“When you’re my age, you start to understand that talking isn’t always the best way to comfort someone.” Maz took a sip of her whisky before gesturing to her. “But neither is the darkness.” 

Rey knew Maz could sense things, far beyond her comprehension. The old alien had probably sensed her distress from miles away, combined that with the Force bond so lively it practically crackled in the air, and guessed the reason. But the darkness was so deep inside Rey, locked away tight and smothered that she never thought Maz would be able to find it. 

“Tell me what those pesky ghosts said to you.” 

“How do you know about that?” 

“Everything I know about you, and Ben over the last few years, come from them.” 

That _name_. She’d tried so hard not to think of his name. It would make it all too real that she’d lost him. And it was real pain that shot through her at hearing it. 

_Goodbye, Ben Solo._

She hadn’t been saying farewell to Kylo at all. She’d been forsaking any hope of bringing back the boy that still resided within him. 

Rey pushed back the grief, and nodded to Maz. “I only spoke to Anakin once, in a dream.” The memory flashed through her mind. The forest, the ghosts, Kylo’s lips against hers. She swallowed and continued, “He told me the truth about what he’d told… Ben… that time.” 

Maz took another sip of her whisky. The look in her eyes told her the alien already knew this. 

“Then Obi-Wan Kenobi came to see me, after I…” The darkness in her mind spiked, and Maz placed a hand over hers. “Anyway, he said that Ben could help me the way I was helping him.” 

“Is that all he said?” Maz smirked at her. 

Puzzled, Rey racked her mind for the Jedi’s other words. “He told me he’d been watching over me, but I don’t understand why.” 

Maz shrugged, as if this were old news to her. Rey almost pressed her on the issue, but other things were crushing her mind. “But Obi-Wan lied to me. He said Ben would help me. Not betray me.” 

Maz grunted in acknowledgement, before setting down her whisky. “There’s something you should know, Rey. About Ben.” 

Rey’s insides went cold. “I don’t want to know.” 

“You do, child.” Maz took her hand. “I know how, despite all of this hurt, you wonder why that boy continues to push you away. No matter how close you get, he does something to sabotage it. Even inadvertently.” 

“He does it because he's scared.” She’d said the same thing to him once. 

Maz shook her head. “He does it because he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. Or anyone else. Luke, Leia, Han –” Her eyes filled with sadness. “They are all good people, and they were doing what they thought was right. 

“Ben spent a lot of time on his own as a child. Leia was off on official business, rarely taking her son with him, and Han spent more time with Chewbacca than with his son. 

“As he grew up, his Force abilities grew. They were so strong, it frightened the poor child. And when he got upset, he would destroy things. 

“Leia decided it would be best for Ben to train with his uncle. That way he could learn to control his power and use it for good. But Ben saw it very differently. He saw it as his mother abandoning him in his time of need.” 

Rey knew exactly what that felt like. But Kylo had a loving family, she’d had nothing. 

“Luke barely knew his nephew. He was always at the Academy, and hardly ever saw Ben. They didn’t connect as well as Leia hoped. Luke was wary of his nephew’s power, but trained him as he would any other student. 

“The other students were jealous of him, and would taunt him, try to make him lose his temper. Until Luke decided to train Ben alone. He learned to hone his power, but also his rage.” 

“So, he started using it.” Rey whispered. 

Maz nodded. “Anyone would.” 

“But why didn’t Luke stop those kids?” 

“Because he felt like Ben was more of a threat. Every day the darkness grew in him until eventually, Luke sent his nephew back home, refusing to complete his training. Ben was thrilled to be going home, hoping his mother would be too. But she was afraid.” 

“That’s when Snoke got his claws in.” The tears returned in Rey’s eyes as her heart broke even more. She couldn’t excuse his actions for this, but suddenly everything made sense. Why he’d been so terrified to lose her. 

Maz threw back the last of her whisky. Rey’s glass still sat in her lap, shaking where she gripped it in her fingers. “Snoke persuaded Ben that his family didn’t love him. That the only thing offering him a home was the darkness. He seduced him with power and the strength to destroy his enemies. 

“It wasn’t until the truth was revealed that he became Kylo Ren.” 

_Darth Vader._

That name dripped like poison in Rey’s mind. That misguided belief had started all this. 

“It was Kylo Ren who destroyed the Academy. It was Kylo Ren who killed those students, who killed Han.” Maz’s voice was soft. “It is Ben Solo who fell in love with you.” 

Everything inside Rey shattered. Her heart, her soul, the shield blocking the bond. And everything flooded inside her. His pain, his rage and hate, his guilt, his _love_. 

By the Maker, what had she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I say every time, there is much more to come :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to let me know what you thought down below :)


	21. Take Me To Church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Rey's chat with Maz... What could possibly happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I want to say is thank you for 100 subscribers! That's amazing! Thank you to you fabulous 100, and as always to everyone else! I love you all, knowing I have you and reading all your lovely comments makes my day just a little bit brighter :)
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

The shuttle’s engines roared to life as Kylo Ren settled in the cockpit. The sound was muffled through the mask, and through the clatter in his mind. He hadn’t slept all night because of the noise, instead finding himself probing at the shields around the bond so thick they might as well have been made of steel. 

He manoeuvred the ship through the city planet’s streets for a while, not knowing where he was going. Where could he go? He couldn’t return to the _Finalizer_ and risk facing Snoke without her in tow. The Supreme Leader would either kill him, or make him watch the First Order hunt and kill her. 

But, he couldn’t stay here forever, drowning in his guilt, waiting for her to return. She never would. 

There was something he could do. 

Kylo set course for Arkanis, and prepared the shuttle for lightspeed.

**

A cold hand on her shoulder jerked Rey from a fitful sleep. 

She had fallen asleep almost immediately after the conversation with Maz, too exhausted to go back to her own chambers. So, there she remained in Maz’s armchair, a blanket strewn over her shivering form. 

Rey whipped around to the intruder, and sighed when she found C-3PO stood there. “Forgive me, miss, but Maz Kanata wanted me to inform you that she has gone to speak with the general and Master Luke.” 

“Thank you, Threepio.” She muttered, shuffling onto her other side and closing her eyes. 

The droid tapped her again. “She asked me to escort you there when you woke up.” 

Rey grumbled, tempted to pull the blanket over her head. But she’d have to face Luke and Leia eventually. 

“Fine.” 

Pulling herself up, she straightened her clothes and strapped her staff across her back. Where was her cloak? She realised with a pang that she’d left it on Coruscant. 

C-3PO hovered by the door, only moving through when Rey joined him. “The general was quite worried about you, when you ran away so quick last night.” 

When Rey didn’t reply, the droid started rattling to himself. About Luke’s frequent absence to meditate, about R2’s snide comments towards him, about Finn’s lessons with Jessika. 

Rey had half a mind to ask how those lessons were going, but she already knew the answer. Finn would try his hardest, Jessika would tell him he was doing it wrong, and he wouldn’t be practicing nearly as much as he should for worrying about her. 

She knew she should tell Finn how much she appreciated his determination to get her back, keep her safe. When she forgave him for lying to her, that is. 

Instead of leaving her outside the command office, C-3PO waddled through the door. Before she could wonder if he should remain in the hallway, she spied the plethora of people inside. 

Leia perched on the edge of her desk, offering a small smile Rey’s way as she entered. Sat in front of the general was Maz, BB-8 by the old alien’s side. At the giant table that took over most of the room, Finn and Poe sat a few seats apart, Chewie between them. Only a few weeks ago, she would have been disappointed to see the rift between them. Now she couldn’t bring herself to care. Luke lingered by the far wall, surveying as usual, R2 by his side. 

The golden droid on her left hobbled towards Leia, and took up his place beside her. Rey remained in the doorway, fighting every urge to turn and run away. 

No-one said anything for a moment. She scanned the room, finding the only one meeting her eyes was Maz. Had she told the others about their conversation? 

“When did Maz get here?” Rey was surprised to find her voice steady. 

“Just after I sent them to Coruscant to find you.” Leia waved a hand at the occupants of the meeting table. “We thought she might be of comfort to you once you returned.” 

_You have no idea._

“So, you got me back… What now?” Rey tried to keep the edge from her voice, but no matter how much she was still mad at him, she wished it hadn’t ended up like this. 

“Rey.” Hearing Luke’s voice again pained her. It was full of concern and understanding – and disappointment. “We need you to tell us everything about your time with my nephew.” 

Fear rattled through her at the notion of laying her soul bare. 

“No.” was all she said. 

“No?” Luke raised his eyebrows. “Rey, I don’t think you understand –” 

Maz cut him off with a sharp gesture. “And I think it’s unreasonable for you to ask her such a thing.” She rose from her seat, beckoning Rey over to her. 

Rey took careful steps towards Maz, who gestured towards the sofa against the back wall. Rey could feel the others’ gazes burning holes into the back of her head as she took a seat. 

Maz turned to the room. “I told you that Rey here has suffered enough without your interrogations.” 

“Suffered?” Finn this time, his voice tentative. “Did he hurt you?” 

Rey swallowed, turning sharp eyes on her best friend. “He didn’t touch me.” 

Well, that wasn’t strictly true… 

“Then why are you wearing that?” Finn wrinkled his nose as he took in her black attire. 

“ _Finn_.” Poe growled across the table, and Finn clamped his mouth shut. 

A thought occurred to her then. “What did you mean about ignoring the general’s orders?” 

It was Leia that replied to the question. “I asked them to bring my son home with you. But we thought you knew about the trade block.” 

Rey shook her head, folding her hands in her lap to stop them from shaking. “I failed, didn’t I?” 

Confusion swept through the room. It was evident on every face except Luke and Leia’s, who suddenly found her boots very interesting. 

Luke’s voice was soft as he said, “No, Rey. You didn’t fail.” A swift glance at Maz told her everything. Even Luke, Jedi Master, was a little frightened of angering the old pirate. “It was… wrong of us to ask so much of you.” 

“What are you talking about?” Finn said. 

“We thought... _wrongly_ thought Rey could perhaps bring my son home because of their bond.” Leia’s eyes were full of sorrow. “We thought it would work.” 

_But it was working._

As if he had read her mind, Poe interjected, “It was working.” 

Chewie growled at that, telling Leia how she defended Kylo when Finn went after him. Leia’s eyes widened with hope as she looked at Rey. But all Rey could think of was Kylo’s eyes as she’d left him. 

_Goodbye, Ben Solo._

After all the times Kylo had defended her. Against Snoke, against drowning, against her own darkness – she had left him behind. 

_It was Ben Solo who fell in love with you._

The shattered pieces of her heart ached. He’d still lied to her, betrayed her. She’d never forget that. But with all those memories came the story Maz had told her last night, and she realised she wasn’t done yet. 

“We became… friends.” She said, confidence finally returning. Turning her attention to Finn and Poe, she continued, “He saved me. That day on Naboo.” 

The pair exchanged startled glances. 

“His knights were chasing me, and I had no weapon. One of them tried to kill me,” She shuddered as the memory flooded her mind, a mighty weapon swinging toward her… 

_The hiss of a lightsaber came too close to Rey for comfort, but when she opened her eyes, the knight had a red, cross-guard lightsaber impaled through his chest._

_The sparking blade was removed moments later. The knight crumpled to the ground, a gaping hole now burnt through his middle. Rey scurried away from the body and onto her feet._

_Kylo Ren had saved her life._

_Just like in the vision…_

“But he got there first. He killed one of his own men to save me.” Her voice went quiet as the surprise from that day flooded back into her. Even at the beginning of this mess, he’d been putting her first. 

Maz gripped her hand, urging her to continue. “Then, as I ran, I realised I had nowhere to go. I thought he was going to take me to Snoke, so I jumped into the lake. And he saved me from drowning.” 

And she’d woken up on that beach, his face so close to hers, fear marring his beautiful features. 

“But he took you.” Finn glanced to Poe for support. “You were unconscious.” 

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Did you really think he would save my life _and_ bring me back to you and apologise?” 

At that, Finn shut up. 

“He taught me how to master telekinesis, helped with my combat skills,” Luke cleared his throat, but Rey ignored him. She would have learned it even without Kylo. “I was staying in a cell at that point, but eventually he asked me to stay in his chambers…” 

_Exploring Kylo’s rooms, Rey found it bare. This certainly wasn’t home for him._

_The shower suddenly went off and Rey heard the thud of his feet stepping onto the tile floor. The refresher door was cracked open, and before she could avert her eyes, Rey caught Kylo’s bare back as he stood before the mirror, a towel around his waist._

_Rey had to swallow her gasp. Though she tried, she couldn’t seem to look away from the pale skin, untouched by sunlight, and droplets of water that ran from the mass of dark hair._

Finn choked. 

“To sleep on his couch.” She said through gritted teeth. “Because it was better than that cell. But I couldn’t have avoided Snoke for long. He summoned us soon enough and invaded my mind.” 

Grimacing, she fought past the lingering pain, “It was painful, worse than…” Rey caught herself before she carried on. Kylo was the only one who knew about the lashes down her back… “Anyway, he helped me. Kept my mind off it, and when Snoke attacked, we fought him off. Together.” 

Rey stumbled over what to say next. Could she tell them about the dream? Would they understand about Anakin and Obi-Wan? What would Luke say about the darkness in her? 

“And then?” Leia pushed, though the words were gentle. 

Rey glanced at Maz beside her, who merely raised her brows. Her choice, then. 

Her attention shifted to Luke, and the disappointment in his eyes. She was sure he at least suspected about the shadows clinging to the edges of her mind. 

A look at Finn, Poe, Chewie – all of whom were waiting eagerly like this were juicy gossip. No, this was not the time to discuss the rest. 

“And then we went to Coruscant. More training until you found me.” She lied smoothly, perhaps the only time she’d ever done so. Finn looked relieved, but Poe was chewing on his lip, trying to decide if there was nothing else going on. 

Leia merely nodded. “Finn, Poe, I believe you have a mission to be getting ready for.” 

_Another one?_

Looking as if they’d just been sent to their rooms without supper, the pair left the room, BB-8 following dutifully behind his master. Chewie growled something to Leia, who smiled and gestured toward the door. The Wookiee bid them farewell and left, half-dragging C-3PO along with him. R2-D2 remained only a little longer, before he assessed the tension in the room and rolled after his friends. 

When they were gone, Leia slumped into her desk chair, dragging out a bottle of whisky. Maz joined her in pouring four glasses of the stuff. But while the others settled, Rey’s body remained rigid. 

“Well that’s enough to keep them satisfied for now.” Maz quipped, sipping at her whisky. Did she never get drunk? 

The alien slid a glass to Rey over the coffee table, winking as though she would need it for what was to come. She took a taste, and this time managed to swallow without choking. 

“Rey, if you’d like to finish your story.” Leia gesture, downing her first glass and pouring herself another. Only Luke’s glass remained untouched as he surveyed the conversation from the wall. 

“I already –” 

Fixing her with a hard gaze, “I may be getting old, Rey, but I’m not stupid.” 

Maz cut in, “You probably wanted to tell them yourself, but they grilled me when you fell asleep.” 

Hurt flashed through her. “So, they know about…?” 

Maz gave her a pointed look. “About why you were so upset the boy lied to you.” 

_Thank the Maker._

“I’m sorry, Rey. I know my son can be…” Leia considered, “difficult.” 

She huffed a laugh, the sound hoarse in her raw throat. “That’s an understatement.” Rey finished the glass of whisky. “Did you know this was going to happen?” 

“I suspected.” Luke said. “When we discovered the bond, when I suggested that you could bring my nephew to see reason, I knew it would not be done with so much distrust and hatred in your hearts. You had to see each other as more than that.” 

“And I had hoped,” Leia grinned, a wicked gleam in her eye. “That my son would be drawn in by such a strong, beautiful girl.” 

Rey didn’t ask what she meant by that. It was clear Leia wanted details, anything about her son’s kindness, anything that would give her a stronger thread to hold onto. 

“Remember how I said we shared dreams?” She whispered. Leia nodded as her eyes widened in expectation. “After Snoke, there was one. On Endor.” 

Luke stepped away from the wall. Rey’s hands started shaking as she reminisced, “It was the day you defeated the Empire. We saw you,” A glance at Leia, “You, and Luke, and Han.” Her voice caught on the name. 

_Kylo lurked in the shadows, his gaze fixed ahead. She followed his stare to the couple dancing across the way, the woman’s arms wrapped around the man’s neck. Her hair flowed as the man spun her around, both with massive smiles on their faces._

_Han and Leia._

_It was the first time he had seen his mother in over six years. And this wasn’t even her. If Leia turned around now, she wouldn’t recognise either of them._

_Then… Han. It was the first time he’d seen his father since…_

“He and I – we’ve learnt not to regret. But I know there isn’t a piece of him that doesn’t wish to go back and undo what he did that day.” Tears threatened to fall, and the ache in her chest grew stronger. 

Luke’s hand rested on his sister’s shoulder. Rey found it difficult to sense others’ emotions, but the pain in Leia’s eyes was evidence enough. 

“Thank you, Rey.” 

Rey took that as her cue to leave. She stood, about to walk away when her knapsack suddenly felt heavy. She reached into the bag, her hands at first closing around something sharp, then around what she was looking for. 

She returned to Leia’s desk. “If it’s okay, I’d like to accompany them on their mission. It might help me get back to normal.” Leia nodded without looking up. At least, not until Rey dropped the bag of blue sweets on her desk. 

She had bought them in the market for Kylo, as a thank you for the Starfruit, but now it only felt right that the general should have them. 

And as she walked out, not looking back to gauge their reactions, Rey felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

**

It felt like a century had passed by the time Kylo Ren’s shuttle landed on Arkanis. Though he wanted to remain as incognito as possible, it was hard to do just that on a planet swarming with First Order troops. So, he glided the spacecraft right into the heart of the Academy, donned the mask and made as much noise as possible disembarking. 

Arkanis had been a wealthy ally to the New Republic before Hux had taken over the Academy once run by his father. Kylo hadn’t been there, hadn’t even been fully affiliated with the First Order when the invasion occurred. Being an Outer Rim planet, neither the Republic’s or the fledgling Resistance’s fleets could get there before the carnage erupted. And now most of the attendants of the Academy were children stolen from the murdered families. 

He had to admit, though, Arkanis was a far nicer planet to be brainwashed on than where they’d trained the Stormtroopers before. 

“Ren.” Hux’s bored voice rang through the courtyard, almost muffled by the downpour. “We weren’t expecting you. To what do we owe the pleasure?” 

The condescension in the general’s voice was enough to have Kylo’s teeth grinding together. He had neither the energy nor the patience to deal with the insufferable redhead right now, but one wrong move could spell doom for him. 

“The Supreme Leader informed me of some troubles you’ve been having here.” Kylo said, praying that he hadn’t just made that up for nothing. 

“I did tell him we could handle it ourselves.” Hux grumbled, turning to wander back inside. As he moved, Kylo noticed a figure clad in grey metal lurking behind him. Phasma. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kylo followed him. “Evidently Snoke doesn’t think you’re intimidating enough, general.” 

Hux brushed off his comment as if it were a speck of dust on his pristine uniform. “So, where’s your little toy?” 

Kylo resisted the urge to snarl. He had been probing the bond on and off the last few hours, but each time gave the same answer. Shut, and with the intention of remaining so. 

“Must I remind you that she is none of concern?” 

“Unfortunately, Ren,” Hux paused in his stride and turned toward him, eyes flashing with contempt. “You are both my concern. Especially when you decide to run off into the sunset together.” 

This time, Kylo did growl. “I was under orders from Leader Snoke…” 

“That’s not what he tells me.” A challenge. A threat. Kylo had to rein in the urge to cut the general into pieces then and there. 

“He wouldn’t.” Kylo continued his pace down the hallway. Passing Stormtroopers stopped to acknowledge his presence, some even inclining their head. He ignored every single one. “They were specific orders, to train her without the distractions of your politics. And you were not to know about it.” 

Hux raised a ginger eyebrow at him, but said nothing else. 

“Sir.” Phasma’s robotic voice came behind him. He had often wondered if she sounded like that without the helmet. 

“Captain.” 

“Since the defection of FN-2187, the troops have begun to question their purpose here. There have been instances of non-compliance, even violent protest.” If the captain could have sounded anxious, Kylo imagined this would come close to it. 

“For example?” 

“Just last week, an infantry was ordered to dispose of the bodies left by our… allies, and refused. Instead they set alight one of our fighters.” The way Phasma hesitated had Kylo wondering if she too was concerned about working with Kanjiklub as the First Order’s personal assassins. 

The gang was notorious for betrayal, even within their own ranks. Hux assumed he could control them because the First Order was the only name more feared in the galaxy than theirs. 

“And where are these traitors now?” Kylo’s voice rasped through the regulator. The sound was painful now to his own ears. 

Hux snorted. “Where do you think?” 

Right. Dead. 

“Anything else?” 

“Not yet,” Hux halted before a large white door, and gave Kylo a once over. Through the door, he could hear clatter and chatter. “But since you’re here, perhaps you can bring them to see our reasoning.” 

The door slid open, and the hall fell silent. A thousand faces turned as one to behold who was disturbing their dinner. Many gave Hux a disapproving glance, Phasma an anxious one. But Kylo… 

Kylo had their eyes sparkling with fear. His ominous presence, looming form and cold shell of a mask, had them swallowing, shaking. A ripple of terror moved through the room. 

It met him, and it was familiar. A familiar sight, feeling. It burrowed into him, beckoning his leashed rage to come out and play. It wasn’t much of an effort to let it go. 

He struck their minds with full force, ripping apart layer after layer. Not searching for anything in particular; he didn’t care if they wanted to betray the general. He was just playing, striking harder and harder each time. 

Anything to get that bond to open. 

It never did. And eventually Kylo bored of seeing the same things over and over. 

So, he remained silent. Silent as he moved through the crowds like a shadow. He didn’t need words to convey his threat. Submission already weighed the shoulders of the troops. 

Neither Hux, nor Phasma followed him as he went to find chambers as far away from everything as he could get. 

Tomorrow, he would find those gang members. 

Tomorrow, he would tear them apart, Hux and the Academy too if it suited him. 

Then he would find her, sink to his knees, and beg her forgiveness. 

The only thing he feared was that she wouldn’t give it to him.

**

She’d forgotten just how far her quarters were from everything else. Rey spent at least twenty minutes re-familiarising herself with the route, and then another twenty with the room. Leia had allowed her to choose her own quarters, and had surprised the general with her pick. 

They were spacious, seemingly more so with the white walls and large floor-to-ceiling windows. While most others lived below ground at the base, Rey hated the idea of being confined, without any sunlight. Or starlight. 

It was why she’d spent the time not sleeping outside her AT-AT on Jakku. 

She hadn’t had the chance to decorate, but everything she wanted in it was back on Jakku. _Even with all that, it still won’t feel like home._

Rey shook the thought away and perched on the edge of her bed. She hadn’t asked for specifics about the mission with Finn and Poe, assuming only that it would be dangerous. Which was why she pulled Luke’s old lightsaber out of the drawer. 

She pulled out the contents of her pack, dumping the nearly empty bag of Starfruit on her pillow. Her eyes rested on it for a moment, grief threatening to suffocate her again, before pulling one out and devouring it. 

Her hand then closed around something sharp in her pack. What was that? Rey opened her fist to reveal two blue Kyber crystals. 

“I didn’t –” But her voice failed her as she realised that’s what Kylo must have been doing when he left her in the market. He’d always said he’d like to see her with a double-edged lightsaber. 

What would she do with them? She already had a lightsaber, and Luke had his own constructed one now. Her master always said one of the most important times in a Jedi’s life was constructing your own lightsaber. But she didn’t feel like much of a Jedi anymore. 

She thought back to what Obi-Wan had said. She had to let go of her past… But her past was as much a part of her as the Force was. Perhaps she didn’t have to let go of it, just stop looking back. 

Rey’s gaze moved to her staff where she’d leant it by the door. She couldn’t bear the thought of parting with it, but it was always there, always reminding her. Just like her hair when she looked in the mirror. 

Maybe she didn’t have to give them up… 

She set into action, first packing the lightsaber and the fruit into her knapsack. There was a pile of grey clothes, freshly washed from when she’d returned from Ahch-To, sat on the armchair. Along with her cloak, the other set were still on Coruscant. 

She ripped off the black attire, and donned the grey. 

The next task took her a while. Many of the tools she’d had in her pack when she left Jakku were stored away in the room. She sought them out and began her work. Sawing, hollowing out, wiring; taking it all apart to start again. Eventually it was done. 

An hour later, standing before the refresher mirror, her fingers hesitated in the moment before she tore out her buns. No, she _could_ do this… 

With her hair down, she looked older, wiser. Less like herself. 

She considered leaving it like that and living with it. But it would get in the way if she had to fight. Pulling it over one shoulder, it reached just below her breasts. Far too long to stay loose. 

Her knife from Jakku had been in the drawer beside the lightsaber. Now it was in her hand, poised to slice at her collar bone. _No going back now._

The knife slid through her hair easily and the locks fell the floor. There was no hesitation now, as she tied half back and beheld her reflection. 

She didn’t look like a scavenger anymore, not a lost girl searching for her place in the galaxy. She didn’t even look like Luke’s Padawan. 

The face that stared back at her was fierce and strong, ready to take on anything. She wasn’t playing anymore, and she could have sworn the Force shone in her eyes as answer. 

Rey smirked at her reflection. The object in her hand was heavy as she lifted it in front of her. The grip was the same, in fact most of her staff remained intact. But as she pushed her thumb down, the two ends burst into bright blue flame. 

“It’s time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well... I'll let you guess what's happening next ;)
> 
> Let me know what you thought! :)


	22. Ships in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it coincidence, or is it fate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this every time, but thank you all so much! This chapter was very quick and fun for me to write, so I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

The rain hadn’t ceased all night. It thundered against the roof of Kylo’s chambers, but at least the noise was distracting him from his sleeplessness. 

The moon peaked only a few hours into Kylo’s scrutiny of the walls. Drab and grey, as was everything else. He longed for colour; a splash of brown, pools of hazel, flushed reds. 

He could only take so much of it. So, as the darkness began to fade and dawn was only a couple hours away, Kylo dressed, grabbed his mask and lightsaber, and set off through the Academy. 

Hux and his nest of Stormtroopers wouldn’t be up until the sun rose. Only the infrequent night patrols stood between him and the general’s office. And despite the protests, he doubted once the troops saw his menacing shadow closing in on them they would try to stop him. 

Sure enough, the first duo of troopers lowered their heads and kept walking. The next stopped and saluted. That pattern continued until he reached his destination. 

The office, as expected, was locked. His saber would make quick work of the door, but he couldn’t afford to piss Hux off yet. Instead, he closed his eyes and focused his mind. And the lock snapped open. 

The inside, as entirely not expected, was messier than a sandcrawler. Papers were strewn over the desk, furniture lay upturned at every wall, and at least ten commlinks were broken on the floor. 

Either a large creature had broken in and gone on a rampage- unlikely on a planet unknown for particularly large, dangerous creatures – or Hux hadn’t believed a word he’d said last night and tried to contact the Supreme Leader. 

Only to find the communications were being jammed by an outside source. His command shuttle. 

Kylo stepped carefully over the broken furniture, locking the door behind him, and settled into the desk chair. He slipped off his mask, glad to be rid of it, and left it facing away from him on the table. 

He worked efficiently, rifling through the papers, searching for any mention of Kanjiklub or Resistance conspirators. He went over what he already knew: they were employed under a search and destroy warrant; their leader was Tasu Leech; they had killed seven conspirators, two of which having already been on Arkanis. 

Eventually, he found a list of names. He recognised a few from his mother’s political days, and it seemed the Resistance had a network running across the galaxy. Coruscant. Arkanis. Corellia. Tatooine. Geonosis. Nal Hutta. Mandalore. 

Kylo pocketed the list. The right thing would be to deliver the list to the Resistance, the way he had warned them about Starkiller’s next target. But it seemed much more fun to hunt them down himself.

**

“Rey?” Finn’s voice called from the other side of the door. “Are you ready to go?” 

Rey didn’t reply. She merely adjusted the strap of her staff… lightsaber, and waved open the door. When Finn beheld her, he sucked in a sharp breath. 

“You look…” He met her eyes and she arched an eyebrow. “Different.” 

“Good.” She said, and shot him a winning smile. 

He seemed taken aback by the gesture, but managed a grin in return. Rey didn’t want to stay mad at her best friend. It would do neither of them any good. 

“Come on.” She said, linking her arm with his. “We have work to do.” 

Finn gazed at their joined arms. “Does this mean I’m forgiven?” 

She sighed. “I still hate that you lied to me...” 

“Bent the truth, I think is more accurate.” 

She cut him off with a sharp glare. “ _But_ … I know you did it because you thought it was right. So, thank you. Just don’t do it again.” 

“Yes, boss.” He mock-saluted her, and they both burst out laughing. 

When they reached the landing strip, Poe was fiddling with his orange flight suit. Jessika was behind him, crouched underneath Black Leader with a screwdriver. 

Poe did a double-take as they approached. He let out a whistle between his teeth. “Damn. If I weren’t…” A glimpse at Finn. A tense of the muscles encasing Rey’s arm. “Well, you look pretty good.” 

“Thanks.” Rey gave a dramatic flip of her hair, though something jabbed her in the chest. Swallowing, she changed the subject, “So where is it we’re going?” 

“Arkanis.” Jessika called as she emerged into the daylight. She too was wearing a flight suit. “The general wants us to find out who’s killing our confidantes.” 

Rey nodded. Maz had mentioned the murders the day before. 

“I’m assuming we’re taking the _Falcon_?” She asked, turning to Finn. 

“No. Chewie said he wants to work on the _Falcon_ today.” 

Poe came over and clapped Rey on the shoulder. “Jessika is flying her X-Wing. Finn and I are taking a recovered TIE fighter…” To their left, Poe was gesturing to said fighter. Other than a plethora of scratches and scuffs, the starfighter appeared in perfect condition. 

“How did you get that?” Rey couldn’t keep the awe out of her voice. 

“I didn’t. One of our spies has been using it to fly to Mandalore and back. But he hasn’t got another mission for a few weeks, so he said we could use it.” 

“And me?” 

Poe beamed down at her. “ _You_ are flying Black Leader.” 

Every ounce of air in her lungs escaped. _Seriously?_

She opened her mouth a few times before words returned. “You’re kidding, right?” 

“Not a bit.” Poe and Finn moved away from her, grinning as if they were proud parents handing their daughter’s dreams to her on a silver platter. “Our way of apologising.” 

Rey couldn’t decide between embracing them or hitting them for teasing her. 

“You’re actually letting me fly it?” She jabbed a finger at Poe. “The one thing you love more than the idiot next to you.” 

In unison, their jaws dropped and they shuffled two feet apart. Rey rolled her eyes. “Oh please, if I didn’t say it nothing ever would have happened.” 

“I’m glad you did before I had to!” Jessika shouted from beside her starfighter. As Rey glanced to her, the pilot was laughing. 

Poe’s cheeks were stained pink, and Finn was suddenly finding the distant trees very interesting. She chuckled, approaching Black Leader. “I’ll give you two some privacy.” 

_Someone in this galaxy should get to be happy._

Rey ran her hand down Black Leader’s nose. It truly was an incredible ship; faster and more agile than the Falcon, and something she knew she’d love flying just as much. 

As she rounded the front of the starfighter, she caught sight of an elaborately-clad figure, flanked by guards. The Queen of Naboo. And the three senators that had accompanied her during their meeting. 

Rey vaguely recalled talk of Leia rebuilding the Senate on D’Qar. The queen spied her and smiled. Rey glanced behind her, at Finn and Poe engaged in awkward conversation, and moved towards the queen. 

Four loaded blasters were trained on her before the queen ordered them to stand down. “How goes your training, Padawan?” 

“Well. Thank you, your majesty.” 

The other woman angled her head. “I must thank you and your friends for your assistance during the attack on my palace. If you hadn’t been there, I’m sure it would have been much worse.” 

Rey nodded, mouth setting into a grim line. As if on cue, Leia and Luke emerged from the base behind her. “Ah, your majesty, welcome.” The general shook the queen’s hand. “It’s an honour to finally meet you.” 

To Rey’s surprise, the queen appeared awe-struck. “I’m afraid it is I who is honoured to meet you.” 

Before Leia could reply, the eldest senator said, “Let’s get on with this, shall we?” 

“Senator Thrax, I know that on Corellia things move quickly, but here we have time to exchange pleasantries.” Leia’s voice was cold. It seemed that even though Thrax supported the Resistance, he and the general were not on kindly terms. 

“I know you want to put this off for as long as you can to protect your son, but this must…” 

“I’m sorry? What do you mean, protect her son?” Rey’s attention was wholly fixed on the senator. His hard-blue gaze bored into her, but she returned the glare with just as much threat. 

“This doesn’t concern you, girl.” He sneered. 

Leia opened her mouth to snap at Thrax, but Rey got there first. “I think you’ll find it does concern me, Senator Thrax. I am a Jedi Master’s apprentice, and out of everyone here, I know _her son_ the best. So how about you explain exactly what you meant?” 

She half expected Luke to reprimand her for the outburst, but when she looked round, he was smirking. Leia was gazing at her as if she’d never seen her before. 

Thrax huffed. He wasn’t going to speak. 

But the queen was. 

“My dear.” She patted Rey on the arm. “The general’s son is an asset of the First Order.” 

It took everything she had not to snap that Kylo was not an asset. He did not belong to the First Order. Or to Snoke. 

The queen’s kind eyes kept her quiet. “He has done terrible things. Killed many people, and we cannot leave someone like that unchecked.” 

Clearly the queen did not know of her time with Kylo. Glancing at the senators, she wasn’t sure they did either. Except Thrax, who was glowering at both of them. 

“What are you saying?” Rey whispered. 

“We are here to negotiate the terms of Kylo Ren’s capture, and what shall be done with him afterwards.” The queen turned her attention to Leia. “We hope we can come to an agreement that satisfies all parties.” 

As the queen, her guards and the senators followed Leia into the base, the general shook her head at Rey. Luke hung back for a moment. 

“We’ll do everything we can, Rey. He means just as much to us as he does to you, remember.” For the first time since she returned, there was warmth in Luke’s smile. 

“I know.” She smiled, though the gesture was weak. “I thought you were going to be mad at how I spoke to Thrax.” 

“There is rudeness, Rey.” He patted her cheek. “And then there is standing up for yourself.” 

With that, he turned and followed them inside. 

**

Flying an X-Wing felt like freedom. 

Black Leader responded as if it already knew what she wanted. It was sleek, swift, everything she’d imagined flying one would feel like. 

Poe had gone over the basics just before they departed. But it wasn’t until the starfighter was in her hands that she grasped the reality of what she was doing. 

Her mind wandered as the three ships hurtled through hyperspace. To what awaited them on Arkanis, to her helmet back on Jakku, to Luke and the discussions they were having. And to Kylo. 

She had no idea where he was, hadn’t reopened the bond since they left Coruscant. Part of her didn’t want to hear his inevitable excuses, not until she was facing him again. But the rest – she was afraid of what would greet her when she did. 

Arkanis came into view. The planet was larger than Rey imagined, half shrouded in industrial smoke. The other half clear to reveal large expanses of forest. Of course, they were heading for the half that would choke them to death. 

The plan was simple. Jessika and Rey would land in the dark expanse of forest behind the Stormtrooper Academy, while Poe and Finn landed in the open. Finn would pose as a trooper, something he had been particularly pleased about, and take Poe as prisoner into the Academy. They’d all agreed whatever information they needed would be inside. 

Jessika would enter through the back, and stir up enough trouble to have the troopers running for her. Then Rey, scouting from the top, would climb down a ventilation shaft and look for the main office. 

It sounded simple enough. 

As they touched down, Jessika was out of her X-Wing quickly. Rey fumbled with her safety straps and the latch on the canopy before she could jump out. 

“Are they down?” Rey kept her voice low as she spoke to Jessika. 

Their commlinks crackled for a moment before Poe’s voice came through. “We’re down. We’ll signal when it’s time.” 

Jessika gave her a stiff nod and they began their descent to the Academy. They moved quickly, careful not to step on any loose branches. Jessika gestured for her to slow down as the trees gave way to gravel. 

The twilight sky was growing darker by the minute. They watched as sets of troopers filed in for the night, leaving only a few patrols outside. It would be much easier to slip past them now. 

As one patrol marched past, Rey strained to hear their conversation. 

“I don’t know why the others think it’s a good idea to fight this. The general made it clear anyone who resists will be shot on sight.” One was saying. 

The other one nodded. “I still don’t understand how that trooper got away.” 

“Apparently, he was there when Starkiller blew up. Had a hand in it.” 

Finn. They were talking about Finn. 

When their voices faded around the side of the building, Jessika gave her a look to say she heard it too. What was going on here? 

There was no time to think about that now. 

Jessika gestured to a rusty ladder against the wall. Then she sprinted across the gravel to a supply door and slipped inside. 

Rey gripped her new lightsaber tight, crossing the space between her and the ladder with gritted teeth. She pressed her body flat against the wall, scanning for troopers, and moving only when she was certain she was alone. The rusted metal bit into her palms as she climbed, up, up, up, reaching the roof in moments. 

The roof was slick with rain. Her boots slipped a couple of times, but she managed to make it across unscathed. 

Over the edge, Rey caught sight of Poe being shoved roughly by a Stormtrooper – Finn – towards the side entrance. Finn was careful not to touch the pilot with his hands, pushing with the barrel of his blaster instead. 

Poe looked upwards as the other troopers formed a circle around them. Rey nodded once to him and scurried to the other side of the roof. The ventilation shaft was narrow with only thin rungs every few feet to assist her. She supposed it was good she had so much experience climbing around crashed Star Destroyers. 

She lowered herself in, clasping the first rung tight. It took a few tries to get the first step right, before she was moving swiftly down. 

The ventilation shaft soon formed a T-junction. Rey assessed her options: below was a straight drop into the unknown, no more rungs to support her; to the side was an opening barely large enough to fit her body into. 

If she fell from this height, she had no doubt she’d either break every bone in her body or end up with a blaster bolt in her chest before she could move. 

Claustrophobic tunnel it was then. She twisted her body until she was lying face down in the shaft. There was room enough for her to get on her knees, but from there it would be uncomfortable. 

Rey moved quickly, listening carefully to the footsteps beneath her, and to her commlink in case one of her companions was in trouble. When voices floated up to her, she paused. 

“You two go see what the commotion is about in sector C.” A hard, commanding voice. “You, bring the prisoner to me.” 

A voice she recognised. 

_Damn_ , she thought. Hux was there. 

Rey kept still until the general’s voice faded into the distance. Around a sharp corner, the shaft opened over a steel walkway. It hung at least thirty feet over what appeared to be a mess hall. 

She doubted it was secure, swaying as it was, but it was better than the shaft that was now beginning to hurt her spine. 

Manoeuvring herself so that her feet would drop first, Rey shimmied out of the ventilation shaft and landed catlike on the walkway. 

_Now where?_

The walkway swayed again, harder this time. She grabbed one of the railings as the steel beneath her feet creaked. 

Then she felt the looming figure at her back. 

“Rey.”

Grabbing her lightsaber, she slowly turned to face the intruder. 

He was concealed in shadow, but Rey knew the way he stood. The way his hand flexed as he reached for his own lightsaber. 

She ignited her lightsaber, and his eyes went from roaming her to the two blazes of blue. Countered by the red flare of his. 

Kylo Ren smirked at her. “This is going to be fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I would say I didn't mean to leave it like that, but I really did ;)  
> The next few chapters should come quickly because I think I've been bitten by the writing bug lately.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought :)


	23. Fear the Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two are always fighting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments for the last update were so great to read, everyone going nuts over the cliffhanger. I would say it's resolved, but... well, read and you'll find out. ;)
> 
> Thank you for all your continued support and love!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

“This is going to be fun.” 

The spark in Kylo’s eye said he was itching for a fight. Rey was too, wanting nothing more than to try out her new lightsaber. 

And perhaps kicking his arse again would suffice instead of scolding him like she’d been planning. 

The steel shutters she’d used to smother the bond were close to shattering from their proximity. Kylo’s body was thrumming with energy, as she had no doubt the bond was. But she wouldn’t open it. Not yet. 

Without a word in reply, Rey lunged. 

Kylo parried the blow, shooting her back. Every fighting instinct kicked in; from Jakku, from Starkiller, from their intense training on _The Finalizer_. The shadows creeped closer in her mind, offering her strength and power, but she shoved them back. 

Kylo took a step away from her, almost taunting her to follow him. She couldn’t keep the feral grin from her mouth as their lightsabers met again, showering sparks across the walkway. 

Fighting with her staff-saber felt more natural than with a single-bladed one. Where one end hit his, the other was ready to intercept the next swing. 

They carried on like that for a while, thirty feet from the cold ground. If one of them fell now, there’d be no coming back. 

So, she dodged a swing, intercepted another, and threw her foot towards him at the first opportunity. He stumbled back from the blow, one hand grabbing the railing for support. Then she launched herself from the edge and grabbed a pipe above her to swing herself onto a lower walkway. 

When she looked back, Kylo was smirking at her. She almost beckoned him with a finger, like this was all a game and her friends weren’t out there risking their lives. 

She had a split second to decide: leave him and help her friends, or stay and fight. 

Kylo made the choice for her. He leapt onto her walkway, landing with a resounding thud. He twirled his lightsaber, a smirk playing on his lips. 

With the shield up, Rey couldn’t determine whether it was playful or cruel. A question nagged at the back of her mind: did he know about the murders, perhaps a part of it? And was it all a ruse – the kindness, the passion all a ruse to distract her while the First Order made its move on the galaxy? 

_It was Ben Solo who fell in love with you._ Maz’s voice rang loud and clear in her head. 

As if he could hear it too, Kylo’s smirk faltered. 

_Well, there’s only one way to find out…_

Rey turned, sprinted across the walkway and through a doorway into a grey corridor. There were no Stormtroopers around, nor any sign of Hux. Kylo would no doubt trail her, so she moved. Threw herself round a sharp corner, listening for his footsteps. 

She pulled the commlink from her pack. She had maybe two minutes before Kylo found her again. “Guys, come in, what’s happening?” 

No-one answered. 

“Finn?” Nothing. “Poe? Jessika?” 

She jammed the commlink back into her pack just as Kylo emerged into view, lightsaber blazing. 

The weapon arced towards her shoulder. Rey threw herself to the side, twisting her body to parry the attack. When he swung high, she ducked and rolled, running when she found her feet. 

He pursued her down hallway after hallway, but no fear pulsed inside her. Every limb was shaking with adrenaline, her breaths coming sharp and short while her heart worked to keep up with the anticipation. 

They kept heading downwards. As Kylo side-stepped one of her attacks, Rey whirled and gained his position, now driving him backwards. 

Wherever they went, they left burning slashes down the walls, the floor, and the scent of scorched metal. Corridors, doors, rooms full of expensive machinery – Kylo didn’t seem to care what got smashed up here. 

It was like a dance, stepping to the best advantage, whirling around each other in a hurricane of strikes. 

Eventually they reached a part of the Academy Rey supposed was barely used. The ceiling was covered in dust, the windows grubby, and the lights sparking out. 

With the look Kylo was giving her, Rey could have sworn he was leading her somewhere. He backed into a shadowed alcove, the door behind him sliding open. 

She followed, arcing her lightsaber to meet his. But before it could reach him, his hand grasped the staff. He clicked off his weapon and threw it… onto a bed. 

They were in his chambers. 

Was he serious? 

She put out her own, only to fight out of his grip and swipe her staff into his legs. As he went down, she pushed herself up with a foot on his thigh. She swung herself over his shoulders, locking a leg around his neck and twisting so he landed with a thud. She landed on top of him, her staff jammed against his neck. 

“I hate you.” She snapped, though the force was lost from her voice. 

Kylo merely grinned, shifting his weight and flipping her over. His body loomed over her, touching hers everywhere he knew it set her on fire. Her heart thundered, threatening to break through her ribcage. 

He leaned his head down an inch, his lips close enough for her to feel his warm breath. Obsidian eyes bore into hers, pupils blown wide. As her muscles shuddered, waiting for him to close the gap, he moved closer and whispered in her ear, “No, you don’t.” 

Rey turned her head away, desperate to clear her mind. With him so close, she could barely remember why she’d left him, what she was doing there. Couldn’t separate right from wrong. 

So, she threw her knee into his inner thigh and shoved him onto his back. This time she pinned him down with a knee on his chest. “I guess if you play with fire, you get burned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's a pretty short chapter, but I have the next one ready and something big is happening. I'll let you guess what it is, before I update ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought.


	24. Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So all I say is that I had the most fun writing this chapter... ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your support, as usual! :)
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Rey took no time getting up, getting as far away from him as she could in the small chamber. The massive bed took up almost the whole space, leaving room only for a coffee table and one chair in the corner. Off to the side was a refresher, though she couldn’t see inside. 

She would have stormed out, or screamed at him, if she hadn’t laid eyes on a garment laid across the back of the chair. Her cloak. He’d brought it with him. 

Rey moved towards it, fingers skimming the soft black material. “Why?” She whispered. 

“Because it’s yours.” Kylo’s voice was quiet, pain flashing in his eyes when she turned. 

“That’s not what I meant.” She swallowed down the threat of tears. 

“I was trying to protect you.” 

“Protect me?” The sound that came out of her was barely human. “While my friends were starving, you were protecting me?” 

“I made the ships leave when I took you to Coruscant, so they’d have a better chance.” It wasn’t quite a yell, but the tone startled her. 

“I know.” 

“What?” 

“I said I know!” She snapped. “But you should have told me! Why didn’t you?” 

Kylo remained silent, not meeting her gaze. 

“Why. Didn’t. You.” She took a step toward him, anger building in her. 

“Because I knew you would have run back to them, to save _them_ , and I would have been stuck here without you.” 

Rey felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. 

She moved away as he stepped closer. “Then how do you explain the murders?” 

“That’s why I’m here.” He waved a piece of paper at her, gaining ground. 

“You knew?” She didn’t have to try to push disbelief into the words. Another thing he’d known and hadn’t told her. 

Kylo didn’t answer. His hands were curled into fists, the pain in his eyes not matching the rage that rippled off his shoulders. 

“Was it protecting me when you didn’t tell me about this?” She breathed slowly, or tried to. “We could have stopped this.” 

“No, we couldn’t. If we tried, they’d have killed us.” He muttered. 

“So, you’re here to save your own skin.” She almost laughed around the forming tears. 

“I’m here to stop them.” He growled. “To stop them, because I thought…” 

“That I would forgive you.” She should have been surprised; laughed, screamed, anything but the softness of her voice. 

They’d fought before, snapped and ripped at each other so many times. But this felt too real. The tension, the emotion, it hit her harder than she expected. 

“I know you, Ben Solo.” He tensed at the name. “Better than you think. And I know you didn’t expect to see me again and have everything be okay.” 

Kylo opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off. 

“Maz told me everything.” Their eyes met, and Rey could feel the barely healed scar in her soul begin to split. “She told me _everything_. And it _killed_ me.” 

Kylo began advancing again. “You think it didn’t kill me?” 

She moved back until she was pressed against the cold metal wall. 

“To watch the woman I love look at me with hatred? To be so sure she was never coming back, to not even be able to feel her?” 

He _loved_ her? Maz had said it, but she hadn't quite believed it. 

Kylo stopped inches away. “You were not the only one that suffered.” 

And for the first time, she saw him. The dishevelled hair, the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in years. The guilt that was always eating him up had taken another enormous chunk. 

Something buzzed in her pack, interrupting Rey’s rampaging thoughts. She dug out the commlink, not taking her eyes from Kylo. Finn’s voice crackled through, “Rey… we’re… I mean… okay… Rey, are… you there?” 

Safe. They were safe. And she was here. 

“I have to go.” She whispered, but she didn’t move. 

He did. 

The kiss wasn’t like the others. While those had been passionate, this was ravenous. Kylo kissed her like she was air, his hands gripping her waist and pressing her into the wall. Their bodies melted together, as if they were two halves moulding into a whole. 

When they broke apart, Rey was gasping. She shoved him away. How could she kiss him, and act like nothing ever happened? 

Kylo was stunned. “I’m sorry.” 

Those words weren’t just for the kiss. They were for everything. For lying to her, pushing her away, _hurting_ her… 

And she knew she should leave. Finn, Poe, Jessika – her friends were waiting for her. But she would return with nothing except another hole in her chest. 

Because she’d already forgiven him. 

“Me too.” She whispered. Sorry for leaving him when he needed her most. 

When she needed him. 

Rey couldn’t bring herself to do it again. 

She let her shields fall, the bond a blast of energy between them. Everything she’d been missing shot down that bridge. He would stop if she asked him to. He would leave and never come back if that’s what she wanted. 

_‘That’s not what I want.’_ The words were barely audible, but a sliver of hope shone in his eyes. She wasn’t sure where she wanted this to go, only that she wanted him. Beside her. _‘Promise me something.’_

Kylo took a step forward. _‘Anything.’_

_‘No more secrets. No more lies. I can’t forget what you did, not yet, but I won’t lose anyone else.’_

He didn’t reply, didn’t say yes or no. Instead his answer came in a kiss. This one tender and sweet. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, twining her fingers in his hair. 

Kylo pulled away enough to look at her. His eyes roamed over her bright eyes, swollen lips, new hairstyle. “Why did you cut your hair?” His voice was low, hoarse. It made something deep down quiver. 

“I wanted a change.” 

“Hmm I like it.” He murmured, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against hers. “I like the way you change me, Rey.” 

She liked it too. Before Kylo, Rey would never have been like this with another person. If he hadn’t come for her, she would be on the wrong path – pretending to be something she wasn’t. And if they hadn’t separated, they wouldn’t see each other for what they truly were. 

She knew him now. Knew his strengths, his weaknesses. His darkness and his mistakes, but also his never-ending light. 

Their lips met again. Slower, teasing. When she opened her mouth to him, Kylo’s hands trailed from her waist onto her thighs. In one swift move, he lifted her so she straddled his hips. 

Heat flooded her chest, down her abdomen and pooling between her legs. Rey bit down on Kylo’s bottom lip and his eyes flared open. _‘Are you sure?’_

Maybe it wasn’t the right time. Maybe this would be the biggest mistake of her life. And maybe she shouldn’t let her guard completely down in a place crawling with her enemies, with her friends worried and waiting for her. 

But the rational part of her was smothered by her desire. They would be in danger wherever they went. The First Order would discover them, kill them for it. Or they could face a similar threat from the senators back on D’Qar. She might never get a time like this again. 

_‘Yes.’_

Kylo smirked, making her shiver. He braced her with one arm, while the other brushed her hair back as he continued to kiss her. If she was heavy, he didn’t complain once as he carried and laid her on the bed. 

The sheets weren’t as soft as the ones on Coruscant, and a part of her wished their first time had been there. But as Kylo pulled off his outer robes, she didn’t care. 

“You should…” She said around kisses, “probably know… I’ve never… done this…” 

“Neither have I.” 

Rey smiled. She let him remove her vest, before they separated to pull off their boots. As he leant in for another kiss, she placed a hand on his chest. “What if they find us?”

“No-one comes down here anymore.” Kylo nuzzled his way into her neck, planting kisses against her throat, behind her ear, along her collarbone, and she let out a soft moan. “So, they won’t hear any of that.” 

She huffed a laughed and brushed the hem of his tunic with her fingers. She pushed it slowly upwards, allowing herself to explore the hard planes of his chest, the scars, the soft skin. When it reached his arms, he pulled it off himself. 

The rest came off quickly after that, leaving them both in only undergarments. As she tugged him further onto the bed, a shot of anxiety ran through her. What if it wasn’t how she imagined? 

Kylo kissed her deeply, removing any worry. He hitched her leg around his back, letting her get used to the sensation of his skin on hers before he was grinding into her. She gasped at the heat it sent searing through her, and rolled him onto his back. 

Kylo sat, drinking her in, before she began to press kisses to his chest. As she did, her hair fell down her back, Kylo having let her one bun free. 

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered. 

She grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips. “And you’re just desperate for me to get this off.” She murmured, fiddling with the tie on her breast band. 

“Mmm, you got that right.” 

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder, and let the band slide off. His gaze moved to her breasts. She had half a mind to cover them up, embarrassed at how small they were compared to other girls. But Kylo cupped each one with a large hand, gently kneading them between his fingers. 

He flipped them over again so her back hit the sheets. His mouth found its way down her throat, her chest and onto her breasts where they lingered. He even nipped at them, making her toes curl. 

By the time his kisses reached her waist, everything was pounding. She couldn’t describe the need that drove her hips upwards, or the way her breath hitched when he dragged his teeth along the thin fabric and onto her inner thigh. 

_‘You said you’d never done this before.’_ Even her mind was out of breath as he climbed her body again. 

_‘I haven’t.’_ He growled, the sound reverberating through her. 

And though she had been sure it was only affecting her, the evidence of his need pressed into her. 

With that, the last pieces came off. Rey hadn’t known what to expect when she finally saw him, but what greeted her made her core tighten. 

He hovered over her. _‘We can still stop.’_

Rey ran a hand down his chest, fingering the area just above his groin. _‘No way.’_

Kylo grinned and kissed her, hungry to devour every inch of her. She gasped as he slid into her, the feeling both unnatural and so so right. He stilled, letting her adjust. And it wasn’t until he shifted his hips that she realised just how much she wanted this. 

He drew out, thrusting back in tantalisingly slow. Every part of her was on fire as the movements continued, his mouth still tasting hers. She dug her nails into his back, urging him on, deeper, faster. 

Kylo groaned into her neck. The sound made her skin tingle. She’d never felt more alive than right then, there in his arms as he loved her the way she’d always dreamed. But no matter how she bit at his lips, or how high she lifted her legs, she couldn’t get enough. He was torturing her. 

He opened his eyes, gazing down at her with those beautiful eyes. She ran a finger across his scar, the first mark she’d given him. This was a mark they could have together. 

“You’re mine.” She whispered. 

He growled at the words. “Say that again.” 

So, she did. Again and again and again, while each time he responded with a deeper thrust. _Harder. Faster._

Now he responded to her every command, moaning her name like a prayer in her ear. 

So close. She was so close to falling over that edge. 

“You remind me what the galaxy should be.” He rounded his hips for emphasis. 

“I love you, Ben Solo.” 

This time he grinned at the name, claiming her mouth with his own again. Kylo thrust, once, twice, thrice. Harder and deeper as they both neared their climax. 

The bond was thrumming. Blazing with energy, growing stronger and stronger. 

His hands, which had been gripping her hips, skimmed over her breasts. The simple touch threw her over that cliff, and she cried out his name. Kylo followed swiftly after, finding his release with a snarl. 

The bond exploded in light, and as Rey gazed at Kylo, she swore she could see a thousand galaxies in his eyes. 

He lay there for a moment, heart pounding against hers. He pressed a final kiss to her lips, sliding out and collapsing beside her. 

Rey rested her head in the crook of his arm as they both tried to slow their breathing. But everywhere their skin touched, heat sparked even now. 

She supposed that she would never get enough of this. Not just of their joined bodies moving in wanton desire, but of just being with him. Without barriers. 

A thought occurred to her then. _Finn must be so worried by now._

“Why do I hear another man’s name on your mind right now?” 

She laughed. “They’re waiting for me.” 

“Then let them wait.” 

She almost said she couldn’t. Almost said she had to find them, ensure them she was fine. But it was the middle of the night, and they were safe. 

She could make up a story about losing her commlink in the morning. 

They lay like that for a while, until he kissed the top of her head, one hand playing with the dark strands of her hair. The other… 

Despite the breath still gasping out of her, she wasn’t tired. And as his other hand trailed down her abdomen, lower and lower, the ache stirred again. 

“Round two?” She gazed up at him, the need still in his eyes. “Already?” 

“For you, always.” 

Her heart glowed as he pulled her back into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... That's my first sex scene, and I would love to know what you thought - and if it went well!
> 
> Thank you all so much for sticking with me so long, but we're not done yet. There's much more to come, I promise! :D


	25. Let The Flames Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, in usual fashion with this fic, the good can't last forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's my birthday, and I wanted to celebrate with you guys by bringing you a new chapter! I want to say thank you for all your love and support, especially on the last chapter - it seems you were all quite excited about that ;)
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Sunlight poured in from the small windows over the bed. Rey blinked in the glow, sighing as its warmth covered her skin. But it didn’t match the heat of the man beneath her fingertips. 

Rey’s head rested on Kylo’s chest, his heartbeat a steady pulse against her hand. She had one leg tangled around his, too tired to remove it after their final bout last night. 

_Four times_ , she thought with a laugh. 

Craning her neck to rest her chin on her hand, she gazed at him. She’d thought before how peaceful Kylo looked when asleep. Now he was content as well. 

Rey brushed a strand of hair from his cheek as he moved his head. As she did, a hand grasped hers holding it against his lips. 

“I thought you were asleep.” 

“I was,” Kylo prized open his eyes. “Until this strange hand started mauling my face.” 

She chuckled, sighing again. She’d thought, not just as he satisfied her, how content she was too. Living on Jakku, Ahch-To, even D’Qar, there had been expectations of her. Rules she had to follow, sometimes even to survive. 

Here, in his arms… It was the one place she could truly relax. 

“I slept through the night.” She whispered. 

Kylo’s hand paused where it had been skimming her side. “Huh?” 

Rey beamed at him. “I didn’t have a nightmare. That’s the first time in weeks.” Before he could respond, she leaned up and kissed him deeply. 

When they broke apart, and Kylo leant in for another, she placed a finger over his lips. “I’m going to take a shower.” 

“Mmm, mind if I join you in that?” 

She pushed off him. “If you do, we’ll be at this all day.” 

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me.” He was leaning on his elbows as she climbed out of the bed. She hesitated a moment, considering tugging a sheet around her, but what was the point? 

Rounding the bed, Kylo’s eyes followed her naked form with hunger. She disappeared into the refresher, popping her head around the door once to say, “And we have work to do.” 

The shower was cool, like rain on a hot summer’s day. She used two palmfuls of his hair product before stepping out. She grabbed a towel, wrapping it around herself and wiped a film of steam from the mirror. 

Her reflection was different from the night before. Then, she’d looked fierce and while that fire still blazed behind her eyes, her body was calm. The smiles came easy to her mouth. Especially as Kylo stepped in, trousers back on and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“You’ve been using my shampoo.” He muttered as he pressed kisses to her collarbone. 

“Is that a problem?” Rey met his gaze in the mirror. 

Kylo ignored the question, his face stern for the first time in hours. 

“What is it?” She asked, reaching back to run a hand through his hair. 

“I have to go back to _The Finalizer_ eventually.” 

_Way to ruin the moment._

As if he heard her, Kylo shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here with Hux. If he hasn’t discovered I took the list by now, he will soon.” 

“Then come home with me.” 

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

An image of the senators flashed into her mind. The queen’s guards were holding Leia back as Kylo was lead to his own execution. 

She shook the thought away. No way the twins would let that happen. 

But it wasn’t a risk she was willing to take. 

“You can’t go back, though.” Rey spun in his arms. 

“If I don’t, Snoke will hunt us down and kill us all. I won’t let him do that to you.” Pain flashed down the bond, matched by Rey’s disbelief. He was only ever concerned about her, not himself. “We can’t keep running forever.” 

She would have argued, but he was right. It had been a plausible solution when they were on Coruscant, but not now. Now they had to stand together and fight. Or they would never be free. 

“So, what do we do?” 

Kylo opened his mouth, but the words never got the chance to come out. 

A loud bang shattered through the chamber. They both ducked as a large piece of debris came flying through the refresher door. Heart pounding, Rey grabbed onto him. Touching her cheek lightly, he said, “Stay here.” 

Then he was gone, through the door to face whatever had come for them. Whoever it was, she was certain they wouldn’t get two feet before Kylo carved them in two. 

But he wouldn’t do it alone. 

Rey scrambled for her clothes, tugging on her cut-offs and shirt, wet hair dangling behind her as she entered the chamber. The entrance had been blown to bits. Metal pipes jutted out with sharp teeth, ready to snap at anyone who got too close. Torn wires sparked here and there as dust rained to the floor. 

She shot her hand out, and her lightsaber landed in her grip. Igniting it, she took her place beside Kylo, whose lightsaber was already flaring at his side. 

Only then did Rey see who emerged through the wreckage. 

“ _Finn_?” 

The ex-trooper stepped through the door, blaster trained on Kylo. Rey moved in front of him, just like she had on Coruscant. _It’s not happening again._

_Maker, don’t let it happen again._

But it wasn’t just him and a squadron of pilots this time. Rey realised that as two other figures appeared, one clad in heavy grey robes and the other in her usual Resistance garb. 

Leia stopped short as her eyes rested on her son. The general’s eyes brimmed with tears, and by the way her hands shook, Rey could tell she was refraining from rushing forward. 

Behind her, Kylo tensed. Fear, guilt, self-loathing – all rushing through him. 

Luke was less surprised but looked at his nephew with just as much compassion. 

Following them, Jessika and at least a dozen Resistance fighters formed behind Finn, blasters aimed. 

Rey held her staff-saber in front of her. “Any of you hurt him and you’ll deal with me.” 

She could have sworn a smile flickered across Leia’s face. 

“We thought you were in danger.” Finn explained, lowering his blaster. “You didn’t answer the commlink, and we thought…” 

“That I was hurt?” She clicked off her lightsaber but kept her finger close to the button. “And you thought the best way to save me was to blow me up?” 

Despite himself, Kylo chuckled. The sound echoed in her mind, stirring heat in her chest. _‘Stop doing that.’_

He didn’t reply, but his amusement was as clear as the sight before her. 

“They thought you were in trouble.” Luke stepped forward. “So, they called us.” 

Not taking her eyes from her son, Leia said, “We’re glad you’re okay.” 

It took her a moment to realise the words weren’t for her. Kylo avoided Leia’s gaze, staring instead at the floor. Rey moved closer to him. 

Finn noticed the movement and said, “Why didn’t you answer?” 

“I was busy.” 

Then he noticed Kylo’s bare chest, her vest and pack laying on the floor, the crumpled sheets on the bed. Finn looked like he was going to be sick. 

She almost told him to get over it. But that wasn’t fair on him, after everything he’d been through with the First Order, after everything Poe had been through… 

“Where’s Poe?” 

“They got him.” Finn’s voice choked on the pain. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.” 

And she’d been too caught up to listen. 

“Hux must have taken him while we were fighting.” Kylo muttered behind her, remorse coating his words. 

Finn snapped at the sound of his enemy’s voice. He loaded the blaster again, anger flaring in his eyes like he didn’t care who got in the way. “Did you order his capture?” 

Kylo didn’t move to defend himself, like he blamed himself for this too. Leia shot forward, as if to grab the blaster, but Luke blocked her with an arm. 

So, Rey moved instead. “Put it down, Finn.” 

“If he did this…” 

“Put. It. Down.” 

Her best friend met her eyes, startled by her serious tone, and chucked the blaster away. His knees started to give out beneath him. Rey caught him in a hug. “I’m sorry, Finn. I should have been there.” She pulled back. “But this is not his fault.” 

Something in his jaw twitched. 

“We _will_ find Poe. We will get him back, I promise.” 

“How?” A tear rolled down Finn’s cheek and she wiped it away. 

“I will find him.” Kylo said. 

All eyes turned on him. Kylo didn’t shrink back from the weight of the gazes, or the truth of what he was about to do. “Hux will send the pilot to Korriban. That’s where Snoke is.” His gazed landed on Rey. “That’s where I must go.” 

His plan unfolded in her mind. He would confront Snoke, lie and manipulate him so they would have any advantage in defeating the First Order. 

A sickening feeling threatened to suffocate her at the idea of him facing Snoke again. But what other choice did they have? 

“And what of Rey?” A shiver ran through Kylo at the sound of his mother’s voice, the lingering effect rippling across Rey’s own skin. “He still thinks she is with you. Won’t he wonder where she is?” 

“I’ll go with him.” Rey said, taking her place by his side. 

_‘No, you won’t.’_ The voice in her head wasn’t commanding, it was fearful. 

Their gazes met. _‘You can’t stop me.’_

_‘Rey…’_

“Rey, I don’t think that’s wise.” Luke said from the corner of the room, calm and collected as always. “Korriban is extremely dangerous. And if you’re there, my nephew has no-one to report back to.” 

Kylo smirked. _‘Problem solved.’_

She almost jabbed him in the ribs as Luke continued, “Snoke believes you are on Coruscant, and so I will accompany you there. You can show me what you have been taught.” 

Leia nodded. “I’m sure Finn won’t be able to rest until he knows Dameron is okay, so he may join you if he wishes.” 

Finn looked to Rey, the question in his eyes. She merely nodded, though she was pleased to finally spend some time with him. 

“Unfortunately, I can’t. Those senators are causing chaos on my base.” Leia crossed her arms in an exaggerated huff, prompting a small laugh from everyone. Including Kylo. Across the bond, Rey felt his guard slip slightly. 

This. This was what her family was. Her home. 

She reached out and squeezed his hand lightly. “What about the list?” 

His eyes fell on her, the full intensity of his gaze burning her from the inside out. It took him a moment to dig out the piece of paper he’d shown her the night before. 

“What is that?” Jessika asked, pushing forward through the other pilots. 

“What we came here for.” Rey replied, taking the list from Kylo. “This is a list of all the targets the First Order has.” 

She perused it for a moment. There were no names she recognised, but she had no doubt they meant something to Leia. Two signatures at the bottom caught her eye. Hux’s cursive and a scrawl that read Tasu Leech. 

Kanjiklub. By the Maker. 

“Take it and find them.” She said, thrusting it towards them. Jessika pocketed the list. 

“We should go, before someone finds _us_.” Finn said. 

Rey nodded. No doubt they’d heard the explosion. 

She turned to Kylo. “Then I’ll see you soon.” 

“Of course.” He whispered. 

Rey pushed up on her toes and kissed him. More than a few gasps emanated from behind her, but she didn’t care. And when Finn cleared his throat, she deepened the kiss. 

Kylo broke away a few moments later. _‘I love you.’_

_‘Be careful,’_ She ordered. _‘Don’t close this bond, either.’_

He smirked, a gesture meant only for her. _‘Then how could I hear your beautiful voice, sweetheart?’_

She almost laughed. _‘Save the sweet talk for Snoke.’_

With that, she pulled back, grabbed her affects and followed Luke out the door. 

**

As Rey picked her way across the rubble, following Skywalker and glancing back at him before she disappeared, Kylo thought it would be harder watching her leave. 

The warmth of her still coated his skin, and the unyielding presence of her in the back of his mind would always be there. Always remind him that no matter how many lightyears separated them, she was his. And he was hers. 

A few weeks ago, that belonging would have scared the kriff out of him. For six years, he had belonged to Snoke. More a possession than an ally. But he was neither to Rey, they were equals. 

_‘I want to hear this speech properly one day.’_ Rey’s voice flooded into his mind. 

He chuckled, stepping over the wreckage himself to catch a final glimpse of her. She, Skywalker and her insufferable friend – at some point he’d have to find a way to tolerate Finn – were the last to leave through the enormous hole in the outer wall. 

The general – his mother – had already left. His _mother_ had been here. 

Seeing her… Seeing the tears in her eyes as she beheld the man her son had become. It was worse than his seeing his father again. Worse than witnessing the pain, the betrayal, the understanding that flashed in Han Solo’s eyes as he died. 

Because his mother knew what he had done. And she still loved him. 

He stood staring at that hole for what felt like hours, but the minutes were short before the thud of boots echoed in the hallway behind him. Stormtroopers. 

Kylo knew Hux would have heard the blast and rallied his forces to face the threat. He had seconds to decide how he would appear to them; remaining shirtless would tip Hux off to exactly what he had been doing, and the general wasn’t stupid enough not to figure out who he’d been doing it with. 

But appearing as their ally would mean he had to chase Rey and the others down, and he couldn’t make that decision. Chase Rey and he’d keep her safe, but he would leave his mother to the mercy of Hux. The alternative wasn’t an option. 

As the footsteps got closer, some heavier than the others, his plan changed. There would be no way to get through this unscathed _and_ be able to find the pilot. 

He whirled as Hux and Phasma marched around the corner, followed by at least two dozen Stormtroopers. 

“What’s going on here?” Hux demanded. 

“I don’t believe I gave you permission to come to my chambers, general.” 

Hux sneered, both at his tone and his bare chest. “And I don’t believe the Supreme Leader gave you permission to fraternise with the enemy.” 

“I’m fairly sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kylo smirked at the general, hoping he’d take the bait. 

“Careful, Ren. Don’t mistake me for a fool.” Hux stepped closer, peering around Kylo. “Especially when I can see one of them in the forest.” 

Surprised, Kylo turned, expecting to see Rey racing back towards them having figured out his plan. But there was no-one there. 

And he realised why as Hux snapped his fingers and five dark figures stepped through the thread of troopers. The Knights of Ren. 

Kylo didn’t look back, didn’t want to see those cruel twisted masks or the faces beneath that had grinned as they beat him down. 

And he didn’t look back when he felt the general’s fist flying towards his cheek. 

As he went down, pain crackled through his face and a warm liquid filled his mouth. Kylo spit the blood on the floor, resisting a growl as he tried to push himself up. But a large boot crushed down on his back, slamming him back into the floor. 

“Take him and the pilot to Snoke. Let him deal with them.” Hux spat. “And deploy the garrison, track those traitors down.” 

_‘I’m sorry, Rey.’_

And his world went black.

**  
They made it halfway through the forest before stopping for breath. Luke was panting, stumbling over rocks and bracing himself on a tree. Finn gulped for air, but Rey’s attention was fully riveted on the way they came. 

She stared that way for some time before Finn regained his breath and moved towards her. His hand brushed the soft material of her cloak, now half-stuffed in her pack. “Did he give this to you?” 

Rey stroked her favourite garment. “Yes.” 

Though she could sense the unease rolling off her best friend, Finn smiled at her. He knew what it was like, to care for someone as much as she cared for Kylo. And she knew Kylo had surprised him by saying he would find Poe. If he kept surprising him, Rey was sure Finn would come around. 

Luke pushed himself off the tree, sucking in big drags of air. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to do that. But if you’re done admiring a large piece of cloth, we should probably get going.” 

Rey chuckled, falling in step with her master. “I’m assuming the _Falcon_ isn’t here.” 

“No, but Chewie was not fond of the idea of us coming without him.” Finn nudged her with an elbow. She could imagine the conversation with the Wookiee. Telling him to stay because the Falcon needed the work, and Chewbacca responding with a series of angry growls that could only translate into the obscenest curses. 

“So, what am I flying us to Coruscant in?” She assumed Black Leader would return in Jessika’s capable hands. 

“You’re not flying anything.” Luke muttered. “I will be flying one of Leia’s less dented U-Wings.” 

Rey stared at him open-mouthed. He knew how much she loved to fly. 

Luke raised an eyebrow at her. “You need to rest after your… escapades.” The notion sent a shiver through Luke, and she almost giggled at the sight. But she couldn’t argue with him; four rounds had left them both exhausted. 

Finn said nothing to that, his gaze drifting off elsewhere. They all fell into silence, though Rey could have sworn she heard the thud of boots behind her. She turned back, finding nothing there. 

The thud got louder, though the sound was muffled compared to the rustle of leaves around them. She glanced back again. Nothing. 

“Rey?” Luke’s voice was worried. “Is everything okay?” 

_No._ “Fine.” She said. 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Images hazed into her vision. The metal hallway, blown to bits. The one they’d just been in. Thoughts of the plan – Kylo appearing before Snoke as a loyal servant, warping into Kylo kneeling bloody and broken before him. 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Anxiety rippled through her. _‘Kylo, what are you doing?’_

But there was no reply. 

The image changed, revealing a figure clad in pristine black, a shock of red hair dazzling her. Hux’s voice was stifled as he said, “What’s going on here?” 

The bond, too open, flooding every sense with his, the balance they’d had before gone. 

Kylo looked to the gap they’d disappeared through. 

Rey whirled in her path, Luke and Finn casting wary glances her way. “Rey?” 

But their voices were quiet as well, almost silent compared to the roar of his thoughts in her mind. He was showing her his plan, all of it. 

And before she could register it, pain lanced through her face. Hux had hit him, and she fell to floor as he did, clutching her cheek. 

Finn raced to her. “Rey? Are you okay?” When she didn’t reply, he shook her. “Rey!” 

She fought out of his grip, spitting blood on the forest floor. Stumbling, she started the descent back to the Academy. “Rey, what are you doing?” 

Hux’s voice broke through the fog again. “Take him and the pilot to Snoke.” 

Hands grabbed her from behind. Luke, holding her back like he had Leia. “Rey, you can’t go back there.” 

“No…” She croaked. “No, he’s… He needs me.” 

“I know. I feel it too.” Though Luke’s voice was calm, she detected real fear in it. “But he knows what he’s doing.” 

And part of her knew he was right. This was part of the plan. 

Didn’t mean it was a good one. 

She struggled out of Luke’s hold and moved forward – 

_‘I’m sorry, Rey.’_

“Ben!” She screamed, falling to her knees… As the bond went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well... I actually feel so evil for doing this but ah well...
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought!


	26. Castle of Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one took a bit longer to write, so sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all as usual for your patience, support and lovely comments!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Kylo landed hard on the cold stone floor of the holding cell. The two knights that dragged him through the depths of the Korriban base laughed, closing the door with a thud. He struggled up on aching arms, finally resting against the wall. 

The cell was small, made entirely of crumbling red stone, like the rest of the barren planet. No wonder Snoke had chosen this world to be his headquarters. It was just empty as his soul. 

The door and the metal bars separating him from both the cell beside him and the outside world would have looked out of place if they hadn’t rusted copper, themselves becoming part of the rock. 

He had no idea how long it had taken them to get here. At least a day given how far Korriban was from Arkanis. Rey must have been on Coruscant by now. 

_Rey._

Kylo had promised not to close the bond, but whatever was coming for him with Snoke wouldn’t be pretty. And he didn’t want Rey to be any part of it. 

He peered down the bridge, finding her in a fitful sleep, curled up in the corner of a U-Wing. Not wanting to wake her, he built a thin wall between their minds. She wasn’t a fool not to know why it was there. 

“Let me guess,” A familiar voice broke through his thoughts, echoing through the chamber. “Finn told Rey they got me, and you valiantly offered to come to the rescue. Congratulations on that feat. A real job well done.” 

Kylo tugged off his gloves – surprisingly his knights had bothered to give him proper dress; even his mask and lightsaber sat taunting him in the corner – and wiped the dried blood from his nose. 

“You don’t sound surprised I’m here.” He faced the other man, also sat on the floor through the bars, flight suit ruddy with dirt and blood. 

“I’m not an idiot, Ren. I know you’ll do anything for her.” Poe spoke as if he knew the feeling. 

Kylo bristled at the name. “Don’t call me that.” 

Poe huffed. “Alright, _Ben_.” 

He suppressed a growl. It didn’t sound right coming from anyone but Rey. “Or that.” 

Silence fell for a moment, before Kylo caught the other man staring at him. “What?” 

“I just didn’t expect you to look so…” 

_Human._

The word hung in the air between them like a dead weight. He remembered the first time Rey had seen him, the shock on her face. Because he didn’t look like the monster she’d expected. 

The question was, did he still feel like one? 

Kylo shook the thought from his mind, and said through gritted teeth. “Let’s focus on our primary concern, shall we?” 

“You mean our imprisonment in a base full of lunatics?” 

Kylo almost chuckled. Perhaps he could get along with this one. 

Poe pushed himself up, limping towards the small cot they’d provided him. There was no such commodity in his own cell. Collapsing onto the thin mattress, Poe brought his ankle up to rest on his knee. “One of your minions stepped on it. I don’t know if it’s broken, or just twisted.” 

If it was broken, they weren’t going anywhere soon. “If you can move it, it isn’t broken.” 

Tentatively, the other man moved his foot in a circular motion. He winced at the pain, but that at least answered the question. 

The pilot didn’t ask how Kylo knew how to check for a broken bone and he didn’t particularly want to explain. His knights had given him far too many breaks and fractures over the years, not one of them a pleasant memory. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Poe leant forward. 

Kylo did a quick scan of both cells, finding no indication of cameras or recording devices. “Snoke will send for me soon enough. Then we can discuss escape plans.” 

The other man went silent for a moment. “He’s going to torture you, isn’t he?” 

Kylo snorted. “Careful, Dameron. You actually sound like you care.” 

“I care only about Rey. I don’t wish to see her hurt.” He crossed his arms, a haughty expression setting his face. “It helps that you’re also the general’s son.” 

“So, the fact that I gave myself up to a man who wants to kill me to get you out has nothing to do with it?” Kylo couldn’t hide the sarcasm that dripped from his voice. 

Poe sneered. “Don’t act as if you’re here because you give a damn about me.” 

Kylo had no argument for that. He wasn’t here for the pilot, not really. He was here for himself, to get to Snoke, to get free of him. And for Rey, because she wouldn’t stop worrying about her friend and blaming herself for his capture until he was safe. 

“I’ll ask again. Once Snoke is done turning your brain to mush, what’s the plan?” 

Kylo suffocated the growl that threatened to break free. “I’m going to get what I need from Snoke. And then we’re getting out of here.” 

**

An hour later the door to Kylo’s cell slid open. The two knights that had dumped him here now stood in the doorway. One gestured sharply for him to get out. 

Kylo rose, pain lancing through his body. But he refused to show it, instead schooling his features into cold neutrality. He moved for his mask and lightsaber, anything not to have to look Snoke in the eye. The knight moved in front of him. 

“Very well. I can do just as much damage without it.” Kylo snarled, the threat echoing through the chambers. The knight didn’t react. Instead, he grabbed Kylo’s arm and wrestled him out the door. 

Glancing back once at Poe, Kylo nodded. He and the pilot had sat in relative silence since agreeing that while he was gone, Poe would figure out the codes to unlock the doors. He pilot returned the gesture before Kylo disappeared out of sight. 

As he was escorted through corridor after corridor, deeper and deeper into the base, Kylo took note of every corner, every staircase, every control room. His knights were brutal, but not one of them was very smart. If they were, they’d have blinded him. 

Or at least taken the most complicated route to Snoke. 

As it was, they reached the chamber within ten minutes. 

Kylo steeled himself for what lay beyond those doors. He hadn’t seen the Supreme Leader in person in over two years. His knights tightened their grips on his arms, as if he would resist as they shoved him into the giant chamber. 

The room was much like the one on _The Finalizer_ , spacious enough to occupy hundreds yet always sparse. The walls curved in and were so dark they appeared to be swallowing you whole. The only difference in fact was the throne at the other end. 

It was far smaller than the hologram made it out to be. Snoke was already sat in it, his posture crippled with age. Standing, he was almost eight-foot-tall, enough to be imposing on any man. But Kylo had grown accustomed enough to the enormity of the image that his true form became pathetic. 

Yet each step got heavier as he drew closer. 

Snoke had his scarred head propped up on a fist, as if he wasn’t at all surprised by the betrayal of his protégé. But the Supreme Leader’s eyes were burning holes into Kylo, the rage and hatred leaking from that throne almost suffocating him. 

His knights knocked his knees out from under him, holding his shoulders in iron grips to stop him from rising. 

Snoke said nothing for a moment. The edge of his conscious, full of darkness, probed the edge of Kylo’s mind. Before he could burst through, though, Snoke said, “Is this what my great project comes to?” 

His voice was booming, yet somehow it sounded smaller, as if a piece of the Supreme Leader’s conviction was gone. 

“The prodigy of the Force… I sent you to teach her, to give her to me.” He shook his head. “I taught you to use your feelings for power, not for pretty fancies.” 

“Supreme Leader, I –” 

“Ren!” Snoke bellowed, rising from his seat. His eyes glowed with so much fury Kylo couldn’t help but shrink back. Beside him, one of his knights sniggered. “I should have known your heart was too weak.” 

He took a step forward, and Kylo willed himself to face his old master. “I should have killed you the moment you brought her to the ship.” 

What would have become of Rey? Kylo didn’t have to ask; he already knew. Snoke would have taken her, tortured her, twisted her until all the light was gone. And if Snoke hadn’t killed him, Kylo knew even then he wouldn’t have let that happen. 

Snoke didn’t voice the alternative, but it still hit him like a stone wall. What would have become of _him_ if Rey was the one on the end of Snoke’s wrath?

“Your thoughts betray you, Ren.” He sneered, growing ever closer. “I know only what your faithful servants have told me. Only what I can glean myself…” Snoke held a hand out towards him. “I want to see the truth.” 

Kylo grimaced at the pressure pounding against his head. It would only get worse. And worse still if he kept his barriers up. 

One by one, he dropped the shields, hiding only the one between him and Rey behind mounds of darkness. 

As Snoke swept into his mind, and pain ripped through his head, Kylo prayed the Supreme Leader would be distracted enough not to notice him doing the same. 

Snoke broke open the vault around his guilt, laughing at his weakness. Images poured into him, of all the people he killed. Their frightened eyes, the terror in their hearts. 

Blood began to pour from his nose, staining his skin anew. He spat it at the Supreme Leader’s feet, spots landing on his robes. Snoke ignored the insult and forced himself harder through his memories. 

Images of his knights, beating him to the ground; the screams of the Jakku villagers; feeling Poe’s will falter as he tortured him; the burning flesh of Finn’s back. The pilot was right, he wasn’t human at all. 

Then of Rey. Her fierce beauty, and her compassionate smile. The whirlwind of her lightsaber as they fought, and the softness of her lips as they kissed. Snoke could see it all. The pounding of his heart every time he saw her. The breath she stole when she touched him. 

The most secret, intimate of moments. He couldn’t hide a single one. 

But it was the price he had to pay. 

Kylo slipped into Snoke’s mind, carefully, quietly enough for him not to notice. The inside of his mind was a torture in itself, choked by darkness and hunger for power. 

He had to be quick. If Snoke found him there… 

Well, he would certainly never see Rey again. 

He was already convinced it would be nigh impossible to find any weaknesses in his old master. Snoke was too ruthless, too calculated not to have planned for anything. And to counterattack with triple the force. 

At least that wasn’t the only reason he was risking everything. 

Kylo had to rummage through pockets of Snoke’s memory, finding horrors he wished he’d never witnessed, before something flashed through his mind. 

A desert. A graveyard of giants. And a small girl screaming into the sky, begging for someone to come back. 

Kylo remembered this image. He’d seen it in Rey’s mind. And before, in his own visions before they met. 

He’d never told her he’d shared her vision. It hadn’t meant anything then, just a phenomenon like their dreams. But if the bond was forged after they met, why would they share visions before? 

_It is you._ He’d said those words, not understanding what they meant, to her on Starkiller. 

Kylo thought he’d put the final pieces of their puzzle together. Now it seemed he’d missed a section. 

The images changed. Or rather zoomed in on the ship racing for the Jakku atmosphere. It wasn’t a model he recognised, though it rocked and sputtered like another ship he knew. 

He could still hear her screams in the back of her mind, pleading with them not to leave her there. Alone and afraid. Kylo, though he had never known them, hated her family for doing that to her. It was almost like leaving her to die. 

But as his vision followed the ship into the stars, he understood. Because the moment it was clear, the ship was blown to pieces. 

Rey hadn’t seen it. That beast they’d left her with had already dragged her away, before the flaming hunk of metal crash landed back in the desert. 

By the Maker. She’d probably scavenged from that ship. 

Kylo rifled through Snoke’s memories for any clue at who they might be. After a few moments, he thought it was pointless. Perhaps Snoke didn’t know after all. 

Then another image popped up. Great skyscrapers and all manner of starfighters to transporters whizzing around, a grand temple sat in the centre. 

Coruscant. Her parents were from Coruscant. 

**

There was no strength left in his body as his knights tossed him back to the confines of his cell. He tried to push up, but his arms failed him. And his insides betrayed him by coughing up more blood. 

Perhaps he would lay here until he starved. At least he could have the satisfaction of Snoke’s minions having to peeling his cold, dead body from the floor. 

“You’ve looked better.” Poe said through the bars. Though the words were jesting, there was only concern in the pilot’s voice. 

“Felt better.” He managed to flip onto his back but even that took effort, especially as his head was pounding. 

Kylo could sense the pilot was brimming with questions. Poe already knew what the mind probe felt like, but invasion by Snoke was ten times worse than anything he could do. 

When he’d retreated from the Supreme Leader’s mind, the pain that erupted behind his eyes was staggering. Snoke thankfully hadn’t noticed his incursion, or it would have been worse. 

He dug through every memory Kylo shared with Rey. Every detail that might help him crush the Resistance. And he let him, throwing his remaining energy into concealing where Rey was headed, and what his mother would be doing. 

If Snoke intercepted either of them… 

He didn’t want to think about the consequences. 

“The codes?” Kylo had one arm thrown over his face, exhaustion closing in like a wild predator. 

Poe sighed like the world had forsaken him. “I couldn’t figure them out.” 

Kylo peered at the other man from beneath his hand. “The best pilot in the Resistance couldn’t figure out door codes?” 

“Then why doesn’t the _Master of the Knights of Ren_ give it a go?” 

A few hours ago, he would have snarled at the name. He wanted nothing to do with those traitors. 

Now he merely huffed a laugh. “I would if I weren’t about to pass out.” 

Poe was quiet for a moment, contemplating the walls around him. “If we’re really going to do this – get out of here, I mean – then we could both use some sleep.” 

With that, the chamber went quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's my first Kylo-centered chapter for a while. I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments :)


	27. A Year Without Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Leia POV. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as usual for all your support and love!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Coruscant was just as she remembered it. Ships wound their way through busy streets, lights glowing through the mist and the roars of their engines ricocheting off the skyscrapers. 

The sun was descending over the horizon, casting shots of deep red into the sky. As if on cue, the city flared into its night life. Even from inside the U-Wing, the rumble of music and chatter floated upwards. 

To think she had been here but a few days ago, this life carrying on while hers ground to a halt. And now she didn’t even remember herself as she was then. 

As they neared the Jedi Temple, the noise grew fainter. Rey strained to hear the last dregs of it, letting herself imagine he was sitting beside her. Not being tortured somewhere by his worst fear. 

The bond had flared back to life halfway through their journey. If the nightmares hadn’t done it first, the burst of energy would have been enough to wake her up. Finn had fussed over her when she’d jerked upright, though she was breathing heavy sighs of relief. Yet when she tried to feel his presence, she was met by a thin barrier. 

_Why must you always protect me…_ She’d whispered down the bridge. In truth, the last thing she wanted was Snoke’s overwhelming presence in her mind again. She was barely keeping the darkness beyond the threshold without that monster’s intervention. But she had to know if he was okay… _and not yourself._

Because no doubt he’d let Snoke in. Let him rip his mind to shreds if it meant a chance at helping her. 

_You’re a fool, Ben Solo._

Luke effortlessly glided the U-Wing into the hangar at the base of the Temple. It didn’t take Rey long to grab her affects and run out. The twilight breeze swirled through the open door, twining through her hair. She breathed it in, and she swore she could smell the jasmine flowers from the hotel deep in the city. 

Finn disembarked after her, checking the ship and shouting to Luke that everything was fine. Then they were all moving inside. 

Aside from their U-Wing, the hangar was mostly empty. Where ships once were, dust now gathered. There were even some old droids, long powered down and covered in cobwebs. 

The same could be said for the rest of the Temple. The hallways were dark and worn with age. Rey wondered just how long it had been since anyone had been here. 

“Almost sixty years.” Luke said. He looked to her, then waved a hand to the high ceilings. “The whole place was left to the elements after my father killed those younglings.” 

“Did no-one use it during the War?” Rey queried, hurrying to keep up with her master. Finn lingered behind, taking in the grandeur. 

“I don’t know.” Luke shrugged. “It’s likely my father and Emperor Palpatine visited every so often.” 

They continued the journey in silence. Luke seemed to know exactly where he was going through the labyrinth of corridors, and very soon they ended up in a grand hall. It reminded Rey of the open halls surrounding the courtyard on Naboo, with large pillars rising at frequent intervals. 

She leaned over the small stone wall to get a better look at the intricate design on the floor and realised it was the main foyer. Two great doors stood at the opposite end, closed to the outside world. 

Luke moved past her, and down a set of steps. Even with his soft boots, his feet still slapped against the marble. “Finn, if you wouldn’t mind finding chambers to your taste, I’d like to speak with my Padawan.” 

Finn nodded, not inclined to argue, and made his way up a winding staircase. She watched him go, her fingers shaking at the thought of what Luke was about to say. 

When she finally looked back to her master, he gestured for her to join him and moved off in another direction. 

They began down another large corridor, old plant pots sitting between each window. The glass was smudged with dirt and she wanted nothing more than to wipe it away and behold the city beyond. But she dutifully remained by Luke’s side. 

“Tell me about the nightmares.” Luke finally said. 

She was speechless for a moment. How did he know about those? 

“You woke up in distress, Rey. It doesn’t take much to decipher why.” 

“I…” She began, having to take a deep breath before she continued, “They started after Snoke. At first it felt like he was inside my head all the time, trying to pull it apart. Then… they changed.” 

“How did they change?” To her relief, his voice was calm. 

“Soon, it wasn’t Snoke inside my head.” She swallowed. Would he refuse to train her, cast her aside if he knew? From the way Luke kept his gaze fixed ahead of them, Rey suspected he might already know. “It was me.” 

The dream after Obi-Wan visited her… The image of her own eyes flickering gold, a red lightsaber by her side… She shivered, gripping her own saber tighter. 

Luke’s jaw was set as he asked, “And last night?” 

_Pain lanced through her head. And yet she kept forcing herself into his mind. The man’s dark eyes pleaded with her, begged her to stop, to see him. Deep down, Rey felt she knew him. From another time. Another life._

_But that life was not her own._

_So the darkness consumed her, gripping her tight enough to suffocate warmth and light from her. What was left was cold, unending rage._

Rey shook the memory from her mind. “The same.” 

Luke arched an eyebrow at her, making a thoughtful sound low in his throat. “You don’t have to fear me, Rey. I already know the truth.” 

She glanced at him, though she wasn’t surprised. 

“I felt it,” He continued, “when you returned from Coruscant. Maker, I felt it when I first met you.” 

This time, he did take her by surprise. “You did?” 

He nodded forlornly at her. “Yes. There is such bright light in you, Rey…” 

The words made her chest ache. She’d heard the exact words in Kylo’s mind before. 

“But no light can go unchallenged.” Luke’s voice sounded ancient with the words. Such wisdom. “I am not innocent to succumbing that darkness. And I do not expect you to be. No good can come from being too much of either, so all I expect is that you do what is best for you.” He finally stopped and turned to her, placing two steady hands on her shoulders. “Darkness in our galaxy can be fought. But the monster inside can only be tamed.” 

Tears began brimming in her eyes. Her voice was small when she whispered, “How?” 

“Only you can decide that.”

**

The Tatooine desert whipped around Leia’s face. Though it was winter here, the sun still beat down, causing trickles of sweat to run down her back and she remembered just how much she hated this planet. Tugging her scarf tighter around her mouth, Leia steeled herself for what she was about to do. 

Mos Eisley was abuzz. Vendors yelled in their various tongues, advertising their wares as landspeeders whizzed through the streets. 

Jessika stood to her side, similarly dressed in thin pale garments, blaster in hand. Here, the scarfs weren’t just for protection against the sand, but from recognition too. 

Because it wasn’t just Stormtroopers wandering around. Leia recognised members of various smuggling gangs, bounty hunters, even old minions of Jabba the Hutt’s. And she was sure some of them would love to get their hands on her. 

“The list said Rix was last seen here.” Jessika’s voice was muffled through the scarf, but Leia could hear her well enough. Rix was an old contact of Leia’s, from her days in the senate. She had trusted him well, and though they hadn’t talked in years, it made sense why the First Order would want to eliminate him. 

“Rix was partial to this place. He’ll be around here somewhere. If he’s still alive, that is…” Jessika shot her sidelong glance, but Leia smiled. “He’s older than I am.” 

The pilot nodded, returning her gaze to the town in front of them. 

They had come alone, refusing even Chewie’s help though part of Leia wished he was here. A Wookiee here nowadays would be too conspicuous for the task at hand. 

Leia took a step forward, sighing deeply. She had to get it over with eventually. So, she continued forward into the fray. 

Jessika stayed close behind her, blaster gripped tightly in her hand. 

It had been hard on the pilot to hear her best friend had been taken by the First Order. Given her history with them, Leia wasn’t surprised she was on edge. 

Jess hadn’t told her much of what happened to her parents, only that they were killed by Stormtroopers just before she joined the Resistance. The worst part Leia had found out from Poe. Her younger brother had disappeared that day and no matter how much she searched, there was still no trace of him. 

Leia hoped that one day she could help Jessika find her brother. If only because she knew the feeling too well. 

As a squad of Stormtroopers marched towards them, they slipped down a narrow alleyway. Leia held her breath as the white-clad soldiers passed by with barely a glance at them. When they disappeared, she nudged Jessika and pointed towards the other end of the alley. 

She had to dodge discarded pieces of metal and rubbish to reach the mouth, and she was just manoeuvring around a large sheet of it when a scream pierced the air. 

Jessika loaded her blaster and went first. Leia had her own smaller blaster tucked under her garments and she fumbled for it as Jessika checked both directions. Surprised, the pilot lowered her blaster and shook her head at Leia. Perhaps it had just been a jeer from one of the local stalls. 

That is until a shadow barrelled into Jessika, knocking her to the ground. 

Leia rushed forward. The figure was clothed in all black, the gear of a thug, and was pinning Jessika to the sand. But the pilot was holding her own, using the grip of her blaster to hit her attacker. 

He wouldn’t budge. Leia trained her blaster at his back, but thought better of it. Whoever he was, he might be able to give them information. And he couldn’t do that if he was dead. 

Before Leia could act, Jessika had brought her knee up to connect with his groin. With a groan, her attacker fell to the side, and Leia promptly smashed her foot into his ankle, making him cry out in pain. 

Jessika moved around him and hooked her blaster under his throat. “Speak.” 

The man stopped moving, glaring directly at Leia whose scarf had come away from her face. 

“Speak!” Jessika spat, spots of blood staining her teeth. Leia hadn’t noticed the man hit her. 

“Turn around.” Was all he said, a sick grin twisting his face. 

Leia did. And what she found made her stomach churn. 

Rix lay between two piles of rubbish, throat slit and skin carved up. Blood coated his limp body and there was a knife in his hand as if he’d tried to defend himself. How could anyone be so cruel to attack a helpless old man? 

Rage boiling in her veins, Leia whirled on the man. “Who are you?” 

The man didn’t answer. Instead he appeared to be trying to bite something. A crack sounded and his mouth filled with bubbling poison. 

Jessika scrambled away as his skin began to sizzle, falling away and revealing muscle and bone. Leia watched as the other woman covered her mouth to keep from vomiting. 

Once the life had left his eyes, Leia returned to Rix. “We have to take him with us.” 

She half expected Jessika to ask why, but the pilot only nodded. They had to give him a proper funeral. It was the least she could do after failing to save him. 

“I’ll go get the speeder.” Jessika turned to leave but was stopped short. 

“Halt!” Five Stormtroopers were in front of them, blasters trained. “Drop your weapons and identify yourselves.” 

Leia couldn’t help the fear that rose within her. This couldn’t be how she died. 

Jess discarded her weapon and pulled the scarf from her face. The Stormtroopers didn’t move, waiting for Leia to do the same. 

She rose, throwing her blaster on the floor. The head trooper stumbled back a step, whether from her identity or merely the stern set to her face, she didn’t care. 

“General Organa.” He said, voice raspy through his helmet. 

Then he did something unexpected. Dropping his weapon, he removed his helmet. Beneath was a young man with pale skin and ashen blond hair. “Forgive me, general.” 

The other Stormtroopers followed suit. Three men, two women, youth still burning in all of them. They seemed surprised, elated even, to see her. 

The head checked the alleyway before coming closer. “Is it true that FN-2187…” 

“Finn.” Leia and Jessika both said. 

He held up a hand in apology. “Finn… is it true that he defected to the Resistance?” 

Leia crossed her arms. “It is.” They didn’t seem dangerous, but one could never be too sure. 

“You see, we were trained on Arkanis before we were sent here. Surely you heard of the revolts?” 

Confused, Leia frowned at them. She hadn’t heard anything about revolts. Though if the Stormtroopers were turning against the First Order, it would explain why they had found it so easy to infiltrate the Academy. 

One of the women stepped forward, a hand on her colleague’s shoulder. “They started because of Finn. And we heard about your invasion. You broke the Jedi out, from Kylo Ren’s capture?” 

Leia snapped her lips shut and nodded. _It was hardly a capture,_ she thought. When Leia had beheld her son again, the despair and heartbreak hadn’t prevented her from seeing the situation. Or the passion between him and Rey. 

In fact, it had warmed her heart to see more than a shred of hope that her son might come back to her. 

“Being here, we had hoped to find a member of the Resistance and join you.” The man said. 

“Join us?” Jessika’s voice was taut. She was on the verge of snapping. Clearly she didn’t believe a word of what was coming out of their mouths. 

The woman’s gaze turned solemn. “The First Order has none of our loyalty. They stole us from our families, abused us, and tried to brainwash us.” Her dark eyes rested on Leia, full of fire. “We want vengeance.” 

There was such conviction in her voice that Leia smiled. “Then you shall have it.”

**

Finn and Luke had already retired by the time Rey had stopped wandering the halls. They didn’t bother her about the late hour; she’d specifically asked Luke to leave her be for a while. Finn – well, she was certain he thought it was just in her nature to explore. 

Midnight had come and gone, the city still humming long into the early hours. Rey had found a balcony an hour before; the glass doors had been locked, but they didn’t survive the touch of her lightsaber. The night air was chill, yet her skin was warm as if the stars themselves were watching over her. 

Her thoughts inside had been consumed by how she would rid herself of the darkness inside. The prospect seemed fruitless. So, she let her mind wander to Kylo. The barrier was still up, though thinner now as if it had been beaten repeatedly. 

Small bruises had appeared on her arms. Nothing compared to what must be on him. 

Leaning over the balcony, Rey wrung her hands together. She desperately wanted to talk to him, find out if he and Poe were okay. The questions racing through her mind would eventually suffocate her. Somehow worse than all those years spent wondering if her family would return. 

She had come to accept that she had never really had a family in the first place. It wasn’t something she missed, rather something she dreamed she’d had. 

Poe. Her friend. Beside her one moment, gone the next. 

And Kylo. Her lover. Her Force-bonded mate. The only one that kept her from going insane. Yesterday, he’d kissed her and been in her arms. Now, she was left to wonder if she would ever see him again. 

She recalled the thoughts in his mind as she’d left Arkanis. That he was hers, and she was his. Equals. But he was wrong. 

They didn’t belong to each other, not like he had belonged to Snoke or she to Jakku. But they belonged together. And now her heart ached for the other half of her soul. 

“You look like you’re about to jump.” 

Rey startled at the sound, twisting to find an ethereal figure wreathed in blue smiling at her. Obi-Wan. 

She sighed, turning away from him. “If you’re here to give me another lecture…” 

“Lecture?” Obi-Wan chuckled, moving so that he too was leaning over the balcony. He gazed out at the city with sadness. Though Rey knew little of the Jedi Master’s life beyond what Luke told her, it was simple to assume he had once lived here. “I thought it was rather sound advice.” 

“He will help you.” Rey repeated his words. “That’s what you said.” 

“Hasn’t he?” 

Of course he had. Just his presence kept the nightmares at bay. 

“Luke is right, though.” Obi-Wan cast her a sidelong glance. “Ben can only help you so far. The rest is up to you.” 

_When isn’t it all up to me?_ She almost kicked the stone in frustration. “Is this why you came tonight?” 

He shrugged, turning so his back hit the ledge. “No.” 

Rey waited. One second, two, three… But Obi-Wan said nothing. “Well?” 

She didn’t want to be so forward. She barely knew him after all, but his face stirred something within her. Something familiar. 

Or maybe it was because he’d silently watched her on Jakku for fourteen years and never once offered help. 

“I’m here to help you, Rey.” He shifted a serious gaze upon her. “And to warn you.” 

Anxiety coursed through her. “Warn me?” 

“The last time we spoke, you asked if it was going to get worse.” Obi-Wan hadn’t replied then, but she wasn’t a fool to think it wasn’t. “I’m sorry, Rey. But it cannot be avoided. The worst will come; it _must_ come.” 

Rey had to curl her fists to keep her fingers from trembling. “What is it?” 

Obi-Wan looked to the sky as if the answer lay in the inky canvas. He sighed, “I don’t know.” 

“Then how can you help me?” 

“Ben faced Snoke today. I was there. I watched it all. And he wasn’t looking for an advantage against the First Order.” 

Rey opened her mouth to reply, whether in disbelief or anger she wasn’t sure. But the Jedi cut her off. “He was looking for information about your parents, Rey.” 

This time she looked at him. Really looked at him. To find the lie, the deception in his face. But there was none. 

Why would Kylo forsake an opportunity like this for a hopeless pursuit? Unless he already knew he would find no advantage, yet… Why would Snoke know about her parents? 

“And?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. 

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I don’t know if he found anything.” 

What if he did? Rey couldn’t allow herself that thought. She’d held onto her family for so long, the idea of finding them now seemed preposterous. 

She continued searching the Jedi Master’s face for clues. “Do you know anything?” 

Before he answered, Obi-Wan faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a cliffhanger, but I'm so excited to write where I know this is going!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought :)


	28. Still Falling For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Force dreams... They give me life ;) Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as usual for all your support and love!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

_Rey woke in a double bed, velvet-soft sheets wrapping her body and something heavy laying across her abdomen._

_There was no sunlight filtering through the windows. Because when she prized her eyes open, there was no sun. No sun. No sky. No sounds of the city._

_Just endless dark covered in stars._

_For a few moments, she didn’t notice that the view was wrong. That the plain grey chambers she lay in were wrong. That she hadn’t gone to sleep with someone breathing beside her._

_Rey turned over, the arm holding her shifting to encircle her waist. Her heart skipped, but she didn’t move._

_And when Kylo opened his eyes, she smiled._

_“If this is my dream, then I much prefer this to the real world.” Kylo muttered. Rey chuckled, and laid her fingers on his face._

_The brush of their skin sent sparks through her veins. It was so real. So much that Kylo’s eyes widened a bit. “Our dream?”_

_Rey bit her lip and nodded. “Our dream.”_

_With that, he crushed her into his arms. She held on tightly, savouring the strength and warmth of his body. The steady beat of his heart against hers._

_“Thank the Maker you’re alright.” She whispered into his shoulder._

_Kylo didn’t have to say anything. She felt it. Felt the fear in his bones that he would never see her again. But they had. They_ would. 

_When Rey pulled back, examining his face, she slapped him on the arm. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”_

_He yelped and rubbed the spot she’d hit, though he was grinning._

_She laughed, wrapping herself in his arms again. When her fingers gripped his back, he hissed. Of course! She thought. It wasn’t just his fear she could feel. But the injuries all over his body…_

_“Here,” She took his hand, lacing their fingers together. With the darkness hounding her mind, she wasn’t sure if the Force healing would work. But she had to try._

_The kernel of light was there. Deep and buried, but there. Rey grasped onto it, twining it into her power and across their bond. The tension melted out of Kylo quickly, and when she opened her eyes, his wounds were mostly closed._

_“Thank you.” Kylo said, watching as her fingers traced the veins from his wrist to his elbow. When he met her gaze, his eyes were sparkling._

_Unlike last time, when he had taken the lead, Rey was the one to move closer._

_Something in the back of her mind reminded her that she had questions to ask. Things they had to discuss. But couldn’t they wait? Just a little while?_

_“Rey,” Her name on his lips made her shiver. “There’s something…”_

_Before he could finish that sentence, she dragged his mouth down to hers. The kiss wasn’t violent like before. Instead it was full of remorse and relief. They gripped onto each other like if they let go, they would be lost forever._

_Her hands dragged through his hair, finding flecks of dried blood in it. She drew back, still combing it out as she stared at him. “What did he do?”_

_Instead of answering, Kylo showed her._

__Snoke swept into his mind, pain ripping through his head as his knights held him down. He broke open the vault around Kylo’s guilt, laughing at his weakness. Images poured into him… the people he killed, their frightened eyes, the terror in their hearts.

Blood poured from his nose, staining his skin anew. He spat it at the Supreme Leader’s feet, but Snoke only forced himself harder through his memories. 

_Rey shook her head. “That’s enough.”_

_She couldn’t help the guilt that rattled through her own body. It was her fault he was in the mess. If it wasn’t for her…_

_“If it weren’t for you, my life wouldn’t be worth living.” Kylo said._

_Something in her chest constricted at the words, and when Rey met his gaze, she found nothing but conviction there. She kissed him again, the gesture tender this time but wanting. Always wanting…_

_But Kylo pulled away again. “Rey, I need to…”_

_“Later.” She said, rising on her knees so their bodies collided. His chest was bare, like usual when he slept, and she wore only her cut-offs and loose tunic._

_His hands gripped her hips, his breath ragged as their foreheads met. Yet… “Rey…”_

_Impatient, Rey wrapped a hand under his jaw. Neither of them knew when they would see each other again. Or what state they would be in. Perhaps it was foolish to put the galaxy on hold, but right then she didn’t care._

_She wanted this now. Before the darkness returned._

_“All we have is right here, right now. Do you want to waste that?”_

_She could see the debate in his eyes. But he knew she was right._

_“Right now, huh?” Kylo smirked in his wicked way, forsaking his argument for the moment, and he kissed her like a man starved._

_It wasn’t long before her tunic was crumpled on the floor. His mouth trailed down her neck, and round her jaw to the soft spot below her ear that he knew made her breath catch._

_His fingers grazed her sides, hooking around her breast band. She allowed it to fall away, running her own hands across his chest, trying to memorise every inch of him._

_In one swift move, Kylo flipped her onto her back. Then he was dragging down her cut-offs, any pretence of hesitation gone. His mouth claimed the inside of her legs, teeth grazing her skin. A soft moan escaped her lips when his reached the apex of her thighs._

_He’d feasted on her before, when they’d gotten bolder, more desperate for each other in every way they could fathom. The sensation had her crying out. And it did again, as he pulled off her undergarments and had her moaning his name._

_But he wasn’t done. Kylo climbed up her body, licking his lips like he was devouring his meal. Rey placed a hand on his chest where his heart beat erratically._

_Perplexed, he paused. Only to have himself overturned so she straddled him._

_He grinned up at her. “Always have to be in control, don’t you?”_

_Her answer came in a devilish smirk. Rey leant over him, relishing in the feeling of his body beneath hers. As their lips collided, her core tightening at the fire searing through her, her deft fingers began to undo his trousers._

_Kriff, she wanted this._

_A low groan dragged from Kylo’s throat as she lowered herself onto him. She would make this torture for him, just like he had for her. And when she began to move, he met her with every thrust._

_Kylo sat up, forcing her to shift her hips against his and dragging a groan from her throat. Brushing away a strand of hair, he whispered, “I miss you.”_

_A little piece of her heart shattered at the words. Oh, how she missed him._ “Not just this,” _she thought as her body begged for more._ “All of it. All of you.” 

_Rey knew he’d heard her, because he claimed her mouth with his own. Their bond – that bridge of energy – was sparking with light. It filled their minds, their souls, reminding them of just who they were, and who they could be._

_“Ben,” She moaned his name, again and again, fingers wound in his hair as his teeth grazed her breasts._

__“Only you…” _His voice was breathless even in her mind._ “I like the way you say that.” 

_Closer. Closer. Closer._

_That cliff was dawning. She could feel herself tilting on the edge. But before the thrust of his hips threw her over, Kylo tossed her back onto the sheets._

_“Now who likes to be in control?” Rey gasped as he covered her body with his own. Kylo grinned, letting slip a low growl as she arched her back to meet him._

_Hoisting her legs around his back, she let the sensation build and build. Somehow it felt even better this time. Whether it was the dream, or the reprieve of having him back in her arms, she didn’t know._

_The bond was glowing so bright she wondered why the whole room wasn’t filled with it. She was sure they would have outshone the stars._

_Kylo gazed down at her, and she heard every thought in his mind as if it were her own. She was beautiful. She was perfect. And he didn’t deserve her._

_She touched a thumb to his scar, reminding him that perhaps neither of them were worthy of the galaxy. But they would always be worthy of each other._

_“Maker, I love you.” He whispered and kissed her again, thrusting harder and deeper, and they both cried out as release found them._

_The bond exploded into light and for a moment, there was nothing but them._

_Catching his breath, Kylo collapsed beside her. Rey moved into his embrace, leaning her head on his shoulder and breathing him in. The burnt spices, the metallic tang of blood and the faint aroma of jasmine flowers._

_She lay staring out the window to the stars and the distant planets as they passed, listening to his heart beating in time with hers._

_Kylo drew lazy circles down her back, his gaze also riveted on the view._

_“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He muttered, though he knew full well what she was thinking. How she wanted to spend eternity here like this. To forget about the galaxy, and all they still had left to do._

_She grinned at him. “I’m thinking I ought to get some new undergarments.”_

_Kylo chuckled, arching an eyebrow. “I can only imagine.”_

_And Rey saw exactly what he imagined. She pinched his shoulder._

_They fell silent again, but only for a moment before her thoughts turned elsewhere. She may have wanted to forget, but eventually they would wake up and who knew what horrors tomorrow would bring?_

_“How is he?”_

_Kylo didn’t look surprised by the question. “Beaten up like me. But he’s fine.”_

_A wave of relief washed over her. At least she could tell Finn to stop freaking out._

_Rey felt Kylo’s mind grow dark with worry. He’d been trying to tell her something. And she had no doubt what it concerned._

_She’d put off asking long enough._

_“Obi-Wan came to see me.”_

_Kylo shifted to face her, surprise coating his features. She realised that she hadn’t told him about the first time he came, so she opened the memory to him. The pain of that night came flooding back and he laced their fingers together._

_“What did he say this time?”_

_“He was talking gibberish about light and dark…” He chuckled softly, though her gaze wandered to the stars again. “But he said he was there. With you.”_

_“What do you mean?” Rey didn’t reply. Maybe this was a bad idea. Kylo hooked a finger under her chin, forcing her look at him. “Rey?”_

_“He said you couldn’t find anything to help us.”_

_Some of the tension melted out of his shoulders. “I wish I had.”_

_“It’s okay. We’ll find another way.” She paused, a weight like a hand pressing against her throat. “And he said…”_

_She started shaking. Did she really want to know?_

_Kylo’s arms tightened around her, but she shook him off._

_“He said…” She sat up and had to swallow before continuing, “He told me you were looking for my parents in Snoke’s mind.”_

_Kylo said nothing, weighing how to proceed._

_“Is it true?” She whispered._

_He nodded. “I thought for a while he might know something.”_

_“And?” Now she was filled with a new kind of wanting._

_“I’m surprised he didn’t find me…” Kylo’s expression was thankful, and Rey knew that if Snoke had discovered him, perhaps they wouldn’t be here now. “But I had to know. I had to look for you, and I found them.”_

_The words should have brought her joy, but his tone was less than reassuring._

_“Where are they?”_

_Sorrow sucked the life from their bond, casting shadows where there had been light. Somehow, she already knew what he was going to say._

_“Rey, I…”_

__“Where are they?” _Her voice broke on the words._

_“I’m sorry.” Kylo’s voice was barely audible. “I’m so sorry… They’re…”_

__Dead. _The unspoken word choked her. The tears began falling, silent at first, then sobs as her muscles refused to hold her up._

_They were gone. And she’d never even known them._

_She’d waited so long… So long… For nothing._

_Kylo enveloped her in his arms, letting her cry into his shoulder. She dug her nails into his bare back, reopening wounds she hadn’t long closed. But he didn’t seem to care, or even notice, as she felt his own tears wetting her hair._

_“I’m sorry.” He kept muttering. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”_

_She wasn’t sure how long it took for the tears to stop. With every breath, her chest felt like shards of glass were tearing her apart from the inside. All that hope, all that dreaming – shattered in one word._

_Kylo’s mind was completely open to her. And she’d seen it._

_She’d watched as her parents’ ship passed through the atmosphere of Jakku. Watched as they were met with an overwhelming number of First Order ships. And watched as they were blown apart, tumbling back to the desert in flame._

_Eventually, he moved back and brushed the hair from her face._

_“They did this.” She growled, though the sound was weak. “He did this to them. I’m going to kill him.”_

_Unlike Luke or Obi-Wan, Kylo didn’t reprimand her. He didn’t say that wasn’t the right path. Because even though it probably wasn’t, he understood._

_“Be my guest.” Kylo whispered._

_Rey pulled away from him then, wiping the tears from her face. It was several moments before she spoke again, “I should have expected it – fourteen years later. You would think they’d have come back if they could.”_

_And hadn’t Maz told her? Rey recalled the old alien in the basement of her castle._ Whomever you’re waiting for on Jakku, they’re never coming back.

_It just hadn’t seemed real before._

_“I would have waited too.” Kylo muttered. If she hadn’t been so hollow, she would have been surprised by his confession. She’d been sure he would never have been as naïve as she had._

_“I did find something else.” Kylo said, measuring his words as if he had to be careful around her now. What did he expect her to do? Trash his chambers?_

_Actually, that sounded like a good idea._

_When she didn’t reply, Kylo continued, “They lived on Coruscant.”_

_Rey whipped her gaze to him. “What?”_

_“I saw that in his mind. I saw the city, and the Temple.”_

_“You think they lived in the Temple?”_ But it’s so run down.

_Kylo shrugged. “If they were in hiding, it’s likely they did for a while.”_

_Something like hope filled Rey’s chest, piecing back a few shards of her heart. If they had lived in the Temple, perhaps she could find something of theirs. Perhaps they didn’t have to die._

_Rey took a deep breath, the sound resonating through the lifeless recesses of her body. Her cheeks, lined with tear streaks, were cold. Exhaustion hit her like a dead weight, and she wondered if this was how Kylo felt in that moment on Starkiller._

_The way he was looking at her told her he had._

_She wanted to ask if it ever got better. The pain was raw now, but surely it would fade into an ache. Then fade altogether._

_But the truth was written all over his face._

_It never went away._

_Not for the first time, Rey cursed her lot in life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...  
> Is there much I can say?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought :)


	29. Nobody Can Save Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the story develops (and nears its climax), chapters are getting more and more difficult to write. So I hope they're still going well!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for you patience and support as usual!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Kylo hadn’t noticed the window in his cell before. Dust clouds blotted out the night sky, filtering through the bars and making him choke on the fumes. He should have been sleeping, gathering his energy for what was to come. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Rey. 

He couldn’t feel her across the bond, just cold emptiness. No doubt she was exhausted after their conversation, yet it still terrified him. 

The energy between them had been pulsing when they reunited, burning as they gave in to their more primal passions. And afterwards, Kylo could never forget the heat of her skin against his, the intoxicating taste of her lips or the sound of her calling his name like it was the most beautiful word in existence. 

But that sweet moment of ecstasy was gone within moments. He’d felt her heart shatter, and held on as if he could piece her back together again. 

He sat watching the world grow darker for what felt like hours. Or at least long enough for the snoring in the adjoining cell to cease. 

Poe groaned as he turned over, almost falling off the edge of his cot. Kylo watched him out of the corner of his eye, making sure the groggy pilot could sit up without injuring himself further. 

Poe hissed as he set down his foot, ankle no doubt barking in pain. He tried to stand but thought better of it. 

“What time is it?” 

Kylo tried to glimpse one of Korriban’s moons, but the dust was too thick for even that light to shine through. “Midnight, I think.” 

Poe groaned again. “Wonderful.” 

“You should probably go back to sleep.” Kylo didn’t look at him, but he could feel the other man’s eyes boring into the back of his head. 

“So, should you,” He quipped, “and yet you’re not.” 

When Kylo didn’t answer, Poe crossed his arms. “I heard you stir in the night. The sound you made was awfully strange.” 

Startled, Kylo faced him. Poe’s eyebrows were raised, the simple gesture demanding answers. He only prayed for the sound not to have been when he and Rey were… 

“Nightmare.” It wasn’t _entirely_ a lie. 

Poe only huffed like he didn’t believe him one bit. 

Kylo pushed himself up from the floor, flexing his replenished muscles. He felt stronger than he had in days thanks to Rey’s healing, and when he shrugged off his robes and examined his skin, the wounds were gone. 

“What the…” Poe stumbled from his cot to the bars, eyes wide. “But… you were covered in blood.” 

Kylo smirked. “Let’s just say Rey has more tricks up her sleeve than you think.” 

Confusion, then suspicion crossed Poe’s face. Kylo sighed and waved it off. He hadn’t the patience to explain right now. 

The control pad beside the door was still intact, much to Kylo’s surprise. If he were trying to keep in a prisoner as dangerous as him, the first thing he would have done would be to destroy their first chance at escaping. 

Only when he scrubbed away the grime did he realise why. 

The key pad was all in the Old Tongue, something he could never hope to read. All glyphs usually written on Jedi and Sith Temples from centuries before even his grandfather was alive. 

He cursed under his breath, resisting the urge to bury his fist in the wall. Broken knuckles would do him no good. 

“Now you see why I couldn’t figure them out.” Poe jerked his head to where Kylo’s lightsaber remained on the floor. “Couldn’t we just use that?” 

“And draw the attention of the whole base? I’d like to get out of here alive.” 

“Then what do you suggest?” 

Kylo turned back to the control pad. “We sit and we wait. They have to come at some point, unless they want starved rotting corpses. That’s when we make our move.” 

Poe didn’t even blink at the gruesome image. Then again, the man had a strong stomach and an even stronger will to resist the mind probe for as long as he did. 

“And if we get out?” 

“Then you find us a way to the surface, while I kill every last one of them.”

**

The Temple library was enormous. It hadn’t taken much to find, situated at the northern face with double doors almost the size of the building itself. 

This was Rey’s last resort. The moment she’d woken, wrapped in a blanket on the balcony and the sun barely crossing the horizon, she’d been desperate to find anything of her parents’. And as the tears dried on her cheeks – at first because the knowledge they were gone slammed into her again, then out of frustration when every room she rifled through proved empty – Rey decided there must be something in a such a large archive. 

She marvelled at its grandeur. High-vaulted ceilings stretched into two storeys, each tall enough to house thousands of glowing holobooks. The marble floor clicked under her feet and she left marks down each long table, tracing her finger in the dust. 

She’d been searching all day and now the evening sunlight filtered through the arched windows, bathing the library in an unearthly shine. She hadn’t seen Finn or Luke all day. 

Rey assumed her mentor was resting, but Finn’s absence was unexplained. She’d expected him to come rushing to her side, desperate to explore this place. Or maybe she just wanted some company. 

Statues of ancient Jedi Masters sat at intervals between cases of holobooks. She didn’t recognise most of them by face, a few more by name, but there was one towards the back wall she did. And she smiled as Master Yoda stared back at her. 

Part of her wished Obi-Wan were here. In many ways, he reminded her of Luke. Wise, with an unwavering belief in the Force. And in her. 

In an odd way, he also reminded her of herself. Though Rey couldn’t pinpoint why. 

Rey shook the thought from her mind. 

She hadn’t a clue where to start. _From the beginning, I suppose._

So, she moved to the first book case and began. 

Minutes passed. Then hours, until Rey was sure she’d been there weeks. The evening became night and the night became morning. 

She fought off the fatigue like it was nothing but a pest. At one point, it dragged her under and she awoke screaming, her parents’ ship burning in her mind. After that, sleep became the last thing she wanted to do. 

Rey made it through half the ground floor before something caught her eye. It was one of the few paper copies left. Dragging it out of its hiding place, Rey blew dust from its cover and read the title. _The Balance._

She settled in one of the window seats and flipped through its age-worn pages. She remembered Luke mentioning the Balance, the true nature of the Force. According to him, achieving it was very different to merely bringing a balance in the galaxy. 

Many chapters were in the Old Tongue, most of which Rey couldn’t decipher, but someone had spent the time to translate them. She mentally thanked whoever it had been. 

There were several passages that made no sense to Rey. To her, the Force didn’t seem so complicated. But there was one passage that made her pause. 

_‘It is said, in many a legend and prophecy, that the Balance is Two. When Two of Force blood share life not just in body, but in spirit, the stars will align. The Darkness, and the Light. When there are Two of bonded blood, the Balance will come.’_

“Two of bonded blood…” Rey whispered, something stirring deep inside. 

Something had always told her that being Force-bonded meant much more than Luke said. 

Rey turned the page. 

_‘Enemies. Allies. It matters not, for the Force connects only the worthy. The Balance needs both evil and good, love and hate. And in their intertwined destinies, the bonded become the galaxy’s greatest hope.’_

Luke said the bond was formed in a moment of passion. In an emotional connection. But that didn’t explain what had been nagging at the back of her mind all this time. 

_‘Some call it a soulmate. Others a phenomenon. Only those of the blood truly know. But they say it is always there, lying dormant until first sight when the galaxy falls away, leaving only the Force as only itself matters.’_

Rey shut the book. 

_The galaxy falls away…_ The way it did every time they looked at each other. On the beach, in his chambers, in the dreams… 

Only it had happened before then. 

When they’d first met. Kylo Ren, the mysterious figure in black appearing in the forest, red lightsaber flaring. The same figure who appeared in her vision, the Force taunting her. 

He approached, and the blaster in Rey’s hand was shaking. Then it stopped. Froze cold. 

But it was when her eyes met the dead black holes in his mask – she’d mistaken it for fear, the way the world melted away. 

Fast forward to her body strapped to a chair. Unable to move. Unable to give in. 

The mask came off. And what it revealed was nothing like she expected. Suddenly her fear, her dread, for one second, was gone. 

She could hear it sing in her veins. The beginnings of the bond. 

Or was it the awakening? 

“Rey?” 

Rey jumped, knocking the book from her lap and onto the floor. In front of her with a confused expression stood Finn, and she realised she’d been staring into thin air. Finn moved for the book, but she got there first, bundling it in her arms. 

“Have you been here all night?” Finn rubbed sleep from his eyes. He eyed the seat beside Rey, but something in her face evidently told him to stay away. “Why?” 

She shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.” 

“Rey, you are many things, but a good liar isn’t one of them.” Rey didn’t laugh, and Finn’s slight smile disappeared. “What is it?” 

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to curl up in her best friend’s arms, because Finn understood, didn’t he? Taken from a family he’d never know. 

But that was exactly the difference. He didn’t know what it was like to have a family, to hope they were coming home, and to lose them. 

Perhaps no-one did. 

“Where’s Luke?” 

Finn scratched the back of his head in an effort to conceal his irritation at her change of subject. “I think he’s in the training room.” 

Rey thought back to when she and Kylo had sparred after the meeting with Snoke. How it had taken the edge off. 

Beating the kriff out of something sounded good right now. 

**

It took almost all day for anyone to come. 

Kylo paced the chamber, listening intently for any sound on the other side of the door. More than once he had mistaken his own footsteps for theirs. 

Poe spent his time bandaging his ankle with strips of his tunic. Kylo had wondered whether it was worth it to try and heal the injury. After all, they couldn’t afford to be lagging. But he was almost certain even his powers didn’t stretch that far. 

As the hours passed, Kylo grew more and more restless. To the point that his lightsaber ended up in his grip, the red flare swinging in perfect arcs around him. Anything to curb his frustration. 

Only the sight of that red blade felt wrong somehow. The hilt too heavy now in his hand, and his swings left messy gashes down the walls. Until the one thing he hated most, sat in the corner staring at him, taunting him with that he had become… 

Kylo snarled and whirled, slicing his lightsaber through his mask. 

It splintered and shattered, the scent of burning metal filling the air. 

With that, Kylo threw his lightsaber against the wall and collapsed against the bars. Everything was so loud. Every sound – the steady drip of water left from the rain, the wind through the dust, the pound of his own heart. It was deafening. 

And in that moment, he realised just how much Rey calmed him. Her presence brought peace from his own demons. If she were here, she would quiet those monsters. She would heal Poe’s ankle and risk everything to get them out. If she were here, she wouldn’t sit around waiting. She would stand up and fight. 

So Kylo Ren stood up. 

He pulled his lightsaber towards him and as the door slid open, he lunged. 

The first knight went down in a matter of seconds. The second was smarter, drawing his weapon and sounding the alarm. But he didn’t stand a chance against his master. 

The thunder of boots sounded down the hallway. They had minutes, if not seconds. So, Kylo hurried to carve a hole in the door to Poe’s cell. The pilot was in shock, but he wasted no time in stumbling out. 

Kylo grabbed the knight’s weapon and handed it to Poe. 

Poe stared at it for a moment before taking it. “What is this thing?” 

“It’s a Force pike.” Kylo said. “It works like a spear.” 

Poe ignited the pike, crackling red energy surrounding each end. The sizzle reminded Kylo of another energy simmering beneath his skin. 

Closer. Kylo counted the seconds. Closer. Poe leant on his good foot, twirling the pike and enjoying the weight in his hands. Closer. The Stormtroopers rounded the corner, blasters trained. 

Kylo glanced back only once, to grin and say, “Give them Hell.”

**

“Ah, my Padawan, I was wondering when you would show up.” Luke called as Rey and Finn entered the room. 

The training room was the most antique she’d found so far. Nothing like the large chamber on _The Finalizer_ with its open roof and large expanses of weaponry. 

Instead this one was smaller, more crowded with dusty armaments, most of which Rey would have no idea how to wield. A lowered ring covered in sand sat in the centre. Luke stood in it, robes flecked with sand and his green lightsaber flaring in his hand. 

Rey met his gaze, and she felt understanding flash between them. Luke instead addressed her companion, “Finn, why don’t you show me what you can do with one of these?” 

Finn was taken aback, glancing at Rey. “I don’t have a weapon.” 

“Rey has one.” 

Rey opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her staff-saber hung at her side, and she had half a mind to refuse. Only at Luke’s gesture did Rey realise what he meant. 

She dug in her pack, fingers grazing the book she’d stashed and pulled out the saber they had both used on Starkiller Base. Finn took it and lit the weapon. 

Rey watched them for a moment. Finn’s movements were raw and unchecked compared to Luke’s graceful swings. Age and wisdom over youth and spirit. 

Her fingers itched for her own saber. Her muscles ached for the release only combat could bring her. 

The two men were too enraptured in themselves to notice her slip off her vest, unbuckle her pack and step to the edge of the ring. She’d never tried this before; she’d only seen it done in holographic training videos. Well, there was a first time for everything. 

Backing up, Rey calculated the right distance, the right speed, the right moment. As Luke and Finn forced each other apart with their sabers, Rey sprinted for the edge of the ring. And leapt. 

She tumbled through the air, lightsaber igniting effortlessly. And when she landed, crouched in the sand and saber ahead, she finally felt the power crackling inside her. 

Stunned, Finn and Luke took up defensive positions. 

“Let’s see what you’ve got.” She twirled her staff, each end sparking blue. 

Finn lunged first. Rey parried the blow, and the next and the next, forcing him back. He stumbled as he reached the edge of the ring, barely avoiding the strike of her weapon, and something like alarm flickered across his face. 

Rey put out one end of her saber, forcing his next attack to the side. She whirled and brought the hilt down as if she meant to hit him. But when he ducked from the blow, she slammed him back with a foot to his chest. 

Finn fell, disorientated, into the sand. Rey watched the alarm become true fear. She couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes, like he’d seen her fury before. But one thing was becoming clearer to him. She was nothing like Luke. She would not hold back, and if he weren’t her friend, he probably would have been dead. 

Rey stepped back, trying not to smirk. Maker, she enjoyed this. Being in control; having the final say over what her limits were, over what she could do. And she couldn’t resist letting in a tendril of that darkness that so beckoned to her. 

Especially as she felt something move behind her. 

Both ends of her saber were ready again in an instant as Luke approached. She turned to block his swing. His face was a cool mask of calculated assurance. He knew he was stronger than her, better trained than her. And yet, a flicker in his gaze wasn’t sure. 

Rey took advantage of that hesitation. She propelled herself from the floor, landing behind Luke, who barely had time to correct himself. 

Her master was much harder to subdue, and much more fun to fight. It was almost like sparring with Kylo again. 

When Luke swung high, she parried and stepped aside to hit him in his blind spot. But he was always ready, twisting out of the way and meeting her every blow. 

Rey realised where all his conserved energy went, collected for moments like this. She almost laughed at Luke’s resilience. Why had he been so bent on keeping her from combat if he enjoyed it so much? 

Her distracted thoughts let slip her hold on the darkness. It slithered into her mind, coiling around her in an endless loop. 

One attack forced her back. Luke held out a hand, catching his breath. “You have learnt a great deal.” 

“Your nephew is a great teacher.” Rey grinned. 

Behind them, Finn had pushed himself up. “Teaching you to fight… Is that all he’s taught you?” 

Finn’s brow was arched when she faced him. But it wasn’t teasing, it was angry. 

With a suppressed growl, she said, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I saw you just then. You weren’t enjoying the fight. You were enjoying the power over me.” 

The darkness’ grip tightened, letting the rage build even as she knew her next words were a lie. “That’s not true, and you know it.” 

“Isn’t it?” Finn threw his weapon at her feet. “Because I saw that same look in your boyfriend’s eyes when he burned my shoulder. He _loved_ hearing me scream.” 

Luke came forward and settled a hand on Rey’s shoulder, but the gesture didn’t comfort her as it should have. “That’s enough, Finn.” 

“He’s a _murderer_ , Rey, and for whatever reason, you care for him. And I could live with that, despite what’s he done.” Finn’s voice was almost desperate. “But he’s turning you into him.” 

No. _No._ He wasn’t a murderer. Not now. 

He was more Ben Solo than Kylo Ren. But… 

“Maybe you’re right.” Rey whispered, shrugging off Luke’s grasp. Her gaze met Finn’s, hard and unyielding. “Maybe I am like him.” 

She took a step towards him, her body moving without her telling it to. The darkness was growing stronger, closing around her vision, around her throat. “Maybe I’m more like him than any of you. And maybe I _like_ that.” 

“Rey…” Luke’s warning was so far away, talking to a self that was slipping away. 

Finn tripped backwards. She could almost hear the way his heart pounded, like prey as the predator closed in. The last moments of its life. 

She revelled in the sound, and she believed in her own words. She was just like Kylo Ren. 

Rey growled, the sound nothing human. “Maybe I should finish what he started.” 

With that, a bolt of lightning shot out of her hand. The vines of energy wrapped themselves around Finn’s arm, just as something sickly sweet closed around her mouth. 

Her best friend’s screams were the last thing she heard before she was consumed by the void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I'll get the next chapter to you soon, but it may be slow going because I want to get it right :)  
> Let me know what you thought!


	30. A Light That Never Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your patience and support! It's amazing to know I have readers like you! I hope the wait is worth it!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

_Lightning struck the ocean, sending bolts racing through the water. Any creature, any life in its path was destroyed. The electricity reached the island, curling around its base. But it didn’t stop there. Like vines around a tree, the bolts crept up the rock face. Closer and closer._

_She stumbled back from the edge. Alas not fast enough, and the lightning wrapped itself around her ankles. Up her body and through her arms. She felt it burning behind her eyes, fusing her veins with energy._

_It was a part of her now, like her blood and her bones._

_Lightning crackled at her fingertips, and it begged for release._

_A figure appeared ahead. Tall and worn with age. His eyes widened as the bolt struck him square in the chest…_

Rey’s screams echoed in the small chamber as she jerked awake. She clawed at the sheets strewn across her body. Throwing them off, she scrambled out of the bed and into the refresher. 

And promptly vomited into the sink. 

When the heaving stopped and the stench stung her nostrils, she washed it away and lay her forehead against the cool mirror. But no matter how much she squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn’t block out the image. 

_“Ben?”_ Her voice was small, even inside her head. _“Ben, I really need you right now.”_

There was no reply. 

Eventually, she peeled herself away from the mirror, footsteps heavy as she found her way down the hallway. Moonlight poured through the arched windows, illuminating the vibrant city beyond. What she would have given to be out there. Where nobody knew who she was, or what she had become. 

Hushed voices floated towards her. Rey hesitated before following them. She couldn’t imagine either of them wanted to see her right now. But she couldn’t imagine anything worse than being alone. 

Luke emerged from a room not far from where she had been. His gaze met hers for a moment. Concern. Pity. Fear. 

Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master and hero of the galaxy, was _afraid_ of her. 

Rey said nothing as she approached, arms wrapped protectively around herself. And she didn’t have to ask the question weighing on her head. 

“He’ll be bruised for a few days. Scarred indefinitely. But he’s going to be okay.” 

Rey merely nodded. She couldn’t even summon the words; what could she even say? Nothing would make this right. 

When she did speak, her voice was hoarse. “Can I see him?” 

Luke clasped his hands together, and moved subtly in front of the door. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

He was probably right. What if she lost it again? 

Luke turned back, as if he’d heard something she hadn’t, and stuck his head in the door. A curt exchange was made before he returned to her. Luke pushed the door ajar with his fingertips. “I’ll be just down the hall.” 

Rey took a deep breath before stepping inside. 

Finn was sat up in the bed, the sheets pulled taut around his abdomen. He stared at her, gaze cold. And yet he’d let her in. 

Probably for her to see what she’d done. 

One arm lay out at his side, the normally dark skin red raw. Dark, jagged lines speared to his elbow, and bleeding sores on his palm were slowly starting to close. 

Nausea churned in her stomach and she feared she would vomit again. She clamped down on it; she’d done this, it was her fault. She had no right to be sick. 

Rey moved tentatively towards him, gauging every reaction. But Finn didn’t turn away, or tell her where she could go. Instead his eyes tracked her all the way to the side of his bed. She settled on the edge and reached for his arm, praying for her greatest gift to still work. Finn jerked it away, and she retreated. “I’m not really sure what to say.” 

Finn only stared at her. 

“I suppose I’m sorry is a good place to start.” Rey tried for a smile, but the hatred in her best friend’s eyes sent chills up her spine. Her throat closed up as the tears threatened to come. 

Maker, she was so _sick_ of crying. 

So, Rey changed the subject. “Last night… You asked why I was in the library.” 

A little of the tension melted out of his shoulders as he waited for her to continue. “Well, I…” How could she explain this? From the beginning, she supposed. “Ben and I often share Force dreams.” 

Finn snorted, and rolled over. Alright, she’d talk to his back instead. 

“In the last one, he told me that my parents lived here. On Coruscant.” Rey’s stare moved out the window, and she wondered if they had ever explored Coruscant like she had. “In the Temple. So, I was looking for something that might have been theirs because…” 

Her chest constricted, and she took a moment to steady herself. “Because they’re dead.” 

Finn faced her again, and the tears started coming thick and fast. She’d said it now. There was no taking it back. Not again, she mentally cursed herself. 

Rey furiously wiped at her cheeks. “And I know that’s no excuse – I would never use it as one…” 

Finn’s injured hand closed around hers, and she finally met his gaze. She laced her fingers through his, letting her healing power knot his skin back together. 

“I can’t believe… What have I done, Finn?” 

“It’s okay.” Finn muttered. 

Rey shook her head. “No, it’s not. It’s _not_. I tried. I did, I tried so hard to keep it away. I didn’t mean to let it slip. I was… I’m just so afraid all the time.” 

Finn squeezed her hand. “I shouldn’t have said the things I did. It was uncalled for.” There was no argument there. “Like you said, it was fear.” 

But she let go of him, stalking across the room and gazing out at the stars. “None of this is your fault. I _hurt_ you, Finn. And everyone can say it wasn’t my fault, that it wasn’t me. But it _was_.” 

She heard him shift in bed. “Rey…” 

“What next? What if I hurt you again? Or Luke, or Leia, or Poe?” Rey had to brace herself against the open balcony doors when the next thought hit her. “What if I hurt Ben?” 

“You won’t.” To her surprise, Finn’s voice was full of conviction. It warmed her heart to know that despite everything, he still had faith in her. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“I do.” Rey turned back to him, and she realised in that moment how grateful she was Luke had knocked her out. 

He’d always believed in her. He’d always been there when she needed him, always loved her for exactly who she was. But who was she anymore? 

Finn continued. “I know you, Rey.” 

“Do you?” She whispered as she sank against the wall. “Because I don’t.” 

“You’re the scavenger I met on Jakku. You’re the dreamer, and the fighter that saved me on Starkiller. You’re the Jedi everyone looks to for hope.” His words resonated through her like a symphony. “You’re Rey. That’s all that matters.” 

The tears that ran down her face lacked sorrow. They were the first tremor of strength she’d felt in a long time. 

“I should go. Let you rest.” She offered him a small smile as she moved for the door. 

Before she left, though, Finn said, “Rey?” 

There was a glimmer of his old spirit back in his eyes. “You said you share dreams with… Ben…” She wanted to hug him for just making the effort to say his name. “Did he say anything about…” 

Rey chuckled. She’d completely forgotten. “Poe’s okay.” 

Finn grinned. And Rey held onto that grin as she left the room. 

**

Two levels to go. Just two. 

Kylo kept repeating that around every corner. Just two more and they would be free. Just two more and he could see Rey again. 

He had to believe that, despite the nagging feeling that they might not make it out alive. 

They hadn’t seen any more knights after the slaughtered two outside their cells. And Kylo couldn’t shake the feeling one would be hiding around the next turn, ready to skewer them both. 

The only reassurance he had was the weapon in his hand, and the deftness of Poe’s handling of the Force pike. 

“If we carry on this way, there should be a passage to the hangar.” Poe said from behind him. Unlike him, the pilot had been awake when the knights shoved him down here and though his memories were fuzzy, he fortunately had a good sense of direction. 

Kylo had never been to the base himself, not even to train with Snoke. Instead he’d trained with his knights, and with his former master when he bothered to visit The Finalizer. Otherwise it was all done via holograms. 

“What are we looking at?” 

Poe grimaced as he shifted from foot to foot. To Kylo’s annoyance, they had to keep stopping for Poe’s ankle, but he said nothing about it. 

“If I remember rightly, they brought your shuttle with them.” 

Kylo smirked. “Perfect.” 

They waited a few more moments in the shadows of an alcove for a group of Stormtroopers to march across their path before sneaking down the hallway, their footsteps less than a whisper against the floor. 

_“Ben?”_ Kylo startled at the sound of Rey’s voice. He stopped short, Poe barely having time to stop before running into him. 

“What the –” 

“Shh. It’s Rey.” Kylo hissed, but Poe shook his arm. Down the corridor, another of his knights had just appeared. And they had perhaps five seconds before he saw them. 

So, although her voice was broken and he could feel the emptiness inside her chest, Kylo had to raise the shields around his mind. _“I’ll get back to you. I promise.”_ He whispered against the barrier. 

Then he stepped into the light. 

The knight caught sight of him, drawing his long-handled weapon. Kylo remembered that weapon, remembered it being used to beat him into the floor. And he remembered the mask, the ugly grate that distorted the laugh beneath into a monstrous noise. 

He was going to enjoy killing this one. 

The knight approached without hesitation. A typical blade like his would have no battle with a lightsaber. It was like bringing a paring knife to a blaster fight. But all his knights’ weapons were enhanced one way or another with Kyber crystals. 

This had one embedded into the blade, creating a barrier around the metal. It would still cut a man into ribbons, but it could withstand the touch of his lightsaber easily. 

“Traitor.” The knight snarled through his mask. 

Kylo had once said that exact word to Finn, when committing treason against the Order was unthinkable. It was meant to be an insult, but it couldn’t be anything but a compliment to him now. 

The knight struck first, swinging the mighty blade around his head. Kylo met the fearsome blow with his saber, showering sparks over the floor. He’d forgotten just how strong it was. 

Kylo took the offensive, shifting into a deadly calm. There was no time for playing with his prey today. 

His lightsaber cut through the air in swift arcs, meeting his opponents’ attacks and forcing him back. If there was one thing he’d always held over his knights, it was speed. 

Kylo parried the knight’s next swing, forcing the weapon back. The insane weight pulled his shoulder back and the knight cried out. Kylo didn’t hesitate. He brought his lightsaber up and round, carving a deep gash into the knight’s side. 

His opponent lost his footing and tumbled to the ground in a mess of blood. Kylo turned, flexing his muscles. Preparing for the killing blow. 

But Poe emerged from the shadows, Force pike in hand and a frighteningly dangerous glint in his eyes. 

He recognised that look. The desire for vengeance. 

So, Kylo watched the pilot stalk past him because he understood. This was the knight that captured him, crushed his ankle, and took him away from everything he held dear. Poe sneered at the knight as he scurried back, scrambling for the blade. 

Surely it was cruel to deny him the weapon. Surely it was merciless to deny him the opportunity to defend himself. And yet surely he was not worthy of such kindnesses. 

Kylo stepped forward, planting a foot on the blade. The knight looked up at him and though he could not see his eyes, the fear radiating off him was palpable. 

“You should be afraid.” Kylo growled as he wrapped an invisible hand around the knight’s throat. His fingers flew to his neck, clawing at vices that weren’t there. And Kylo loosened his grip only as Poe drove the pike into his chest. 

The knight choked on blood, the sound sickening through the mask. Poe, the anger marring his normally serene features, pushed the weapon in deeper. The knight squirmed, then went still. 

Poe was gasping for breath when he moved back, grasp on the pike slipping. Kylo expected to find shock, even regret, in the pilot’s eyes. Instead, Poe was grinning. 

“I never thought I’d say this,” Their eyes met, and Kylo felt a strange kind of connection pass between them. Was this what friendship felt like? “But we actually make a pretty good team.” 

Kylo clapped him on the shoulder, and they continued on, the steady drip of blood from the pike the only sound accompanying them through the halls. Kylo strained his ears for the thud of boots, or even the brush of material, but all was quiet. Too quiet. 

Poe lead the way as they reached the passage. It was a narrow opening, used only when manoeuvring prisoners. A clever set-up, given that it bypassed most of the control rooms. 

Poe stepped forward, but Kylo grabbed his tattered tunic. He’d since done away with the flight suit, the heavy material making too much noise with his movements. 

“I’ll go first.” Kylo muttered. “You watch our backs.” 

To his surprise, Poe didn’t argue and gladly took up the rear, Force pike poised to strike. 

Kylo clicked off his lightsaber. Darkness would be their ally right now. 

The clatter of machinery and the whir of droids floated down the passageway. Sporadic voices cut through the noise, but they were faint enough that Kylo wasn’t worried. 

Light cut through the shadows, revealing an open hangar. And in the corner, possibly the furthest from the door, sat his command shuttle. 

Between them and it sat another dozen ships, mostly TIE fighters, surrounded by droids. They might not notice them sneaking past, but everything was on high alert for two escapees. 

“Now what?” Poe hissed from behind him. 

Before he could reply, Kylo threw out an arm to press the other man against the wall. Just as two droids, sparks flying from the saws they held, rolled past. 

“We’re never getting past them without a distraction.” Kylo glanced around, forming a plan in his mind. A stupid, reckless plan, but a plan nonetheless. “So…” 

Something flew past his head, and implanted itself in one of the diagnostics machines. Energy crackled around it. And within moments, the machine exploded. 

The two men ducked as scraps of metal crashed through the passageway. Droids scurried to the scene, fire extinguishers in hand. But the flames kept building, providing a smokescreen between them and the passageway, and the part of Kylo that wanted to turn on Poe for being stupid enough to forsake his weapon was smothered by pride for the pilot. 

Kylo nodded at him, and they moved out. Kept their footsteps quiet, their bodies close to the wall behind the smoke. The droids didn’t see them. Neither did the Stormtroopers who powered into the hangar. 

The shuttle was less than thirty feet away. Twenty. Ten. 

They were going to make it. 

Five. Four. Three. 

The loading door was open, tools strewn over the floor where the droids had left them. Kylo rushed in, throwing off his outer robes and lightsaber. He settled in the cockpit, settling into the familiarity when he’d almost forgotten what it felt like to fly. 

The freedom, the ecstasy – all in Kylo’s hands. There was nothing like it. 

The same feeling was rolling off his companion as he jumped into the co-pilot’s seat. “Let’s get out of here.” 

Kylo grinned, gunning the engine. It was natural for them both to flip the switches, to grab for the controls. And Kylo briefly considered letting Poe fly. 

But as he predicted, they weren’t in the clear yet. 

As the shuttle rose and made for the open hangar, alarms sounded and three TIE fighters began their pursuit. 

“Get the guns ready!” 

The hangar was built into the side of a rock face. Kylo angled his shuttle straight up, keeping close to the rock, and yet the TIEs kept with him. He cursed the ship for being so slow. 

“If you don’t start shooting, we’re not getting out of here alive.” Kylo growled at Poe, who was fiddling with the controls. The pilot gave him a withering look, and pulled the trigger. Within a few shots, one of the fighters was down. 

Kylo curved the shuttle over the rock face, hoping the pilots would make a mistake and hit the stone. But neither did, and very soon they were joined by three more. 

“Kriff.” He muttered. 

A blast jolted the shuttle, sending it careening to the left. Sand and dust swirled around them, but through the dirt, Kylo spotted an opening in the rock. A canyon. 

He recalled a lesson his father had taught him once about flying. Never hesitate. 

So Kylo threw the shuttle forward. Down, down, down. Narrowly avoiding jagged edges even with his shuttle’s bulk. 

“Nice move.” Poe said, finger jammed hard on the trigger. In the slender pass, the TIEs had little room to avoid the blasts, and so two more went bowling into the rock. 

“Nice shooting.” 

Kylo closed his eyes for a moment, letting the Force inside twine with the ship’s essence. Letting the Force guide his every move. Something his uncle had taught him: Always trust the Force. 

It led him through curving passes, sent the shuttle twirling through obstacles, up and over the fighters chasing them, confusing the pilots to no end. 

Poe’s onslaught never ceased, and fighter after fighter went down until only one was left. It wasn’t the first time Kylo had considered Poe might be Force sensitive. The way he flew, the way he handled the Force pike – it was testament to innate skill. 

But Kylo had no time to broach the subject as the final TIE fighter crested over the canyon. Here in the open there wasn’t much cover, which also meant Poe had more open reach with the blaster cannons. 

The TIE deftly angled itself to avoid each attack, even disappearing from view a couple times. A pilot with years of experience. 

But neither Kylo nor the greatest pilot in the Resistance was about to give up easily. Kylo pulled back the controls, guiding them towards the atmosphere. 

Poe wasn’t surprised by the move. Instead he gripped the trigger tighter, watching, waiting for his opening. 

Just as the stars broke through the dust cloud, Kylo cut the engine. It didn’t feel like crashing. Rather like floating. A foreign feeling to enjoy a lack of control. 

The TIE fighter raced past them, clearly not expecting the move. Perhaps because it was reckless. Perhaps because it was more likely to fail than succeed. 

Yet Kylo had finally listened to the call inside. The part that held onto both the light and the dark. And the part that had tried to guide him home all these years. 

The sensors locked onto the fighter, and Poe didn’t hesitate in firing. 

Two blaster bolts and the TIE was crashing back to the surface in flame. 

Kylo couldn’t watch. It looked too much like another ship tumbling to the ground. Another planet, another time, and yet one that still managed to tear his world apart. 

Shaking the memory from his mind, Kylo shot forward, greeting the stars as old friends.

**

“Rey?” Luke appeared down the hallway as Rey closed the door to Finn’s room. He stopped a few paces from her, but the tension from earlier was gone. “I assume things went well?” 

Rey nodded, and surprise crossed Luke’s face. She might have been offended by his lack of faith, but in truth she had been surprised by Finn’s reaction. He’d been far easier to win round than she’d expected. 

Luke hesitated a moment before speaking. “And I assume you know the condition of my nephew?” 

She nodded again. “He’s fine. They both are.” 

Her voice was small again, and her hands shook as she tried to speak. He was trying to hide it, but she could see the disappointment clear behind Luke’s eyes. Only she suspected it wasn’t disappointment in her. No, he was upset with himself. 

Rey reached out her fingers, gently settling them on her master’s arm. Luke concealed his flinch well enough that she didn’t comment. 

“Finn told me you were in the library before…” Luke had to clear his throat. It was the first time she’d seen her master lost for words. “Did you find anything?” 

Rey pulled the book from her pack. She’d kept it, intending to continue reading well into the night. If she couldn’t find anything of her parents’, she could at least answer of a few of her own questions. 

Luke’s eyes widened when he saw the title. Rey placed the book in his hands and flipped to the page she’d found. She watched her master read the same passages, watched understanding slacken his face. The same understanding that had only hit her when she considered hurting Kylo. 

She couldn’t hurt him. Because she felt his pain. Just like she heard his thoughts, felt his very essence moving through her own. 

When they shared their power, the Force intertwining in light and dark, they weren’t separate. They combined their fears, their joys, their love and their hate. They were one. 

Apart, Ben Solo became Kylo Ren – the man with the fear, the guilt and the rage. And Rey lost control on the darkness that only ebbed when he was near. 

They wouldn’t bring the Balance. They _were_ the Balance. 

“It started before we met.” Rey said as Luke put the pieces together. “I could feel him in that vision. Somehow I knew him on Takodana.” 

She cast her mind back to Jakku. There were nights she recalled now, nights of unease. Nightmares that plagued her of a great darkness she couldn’t begin to comprehend. She’d seen him then, seen the mask, the lightsaber. 

She’d seen his face. His beautiful obsidian eyes, the sharp angles and the soft skin. The lips she would one day kiss. The face she would one day fall in love with. 

That’s why she’d been surprised on Starkiller. 

_“It is you.”_ She whispered. 

“What?” Luke glanced at her finally. 

“That’s what he said to me on Starkiller. When I grabbed your lightsaber.” Rey frowned. There were still pieces missing. “He’d known me too. But he’s of your blood, it makes sense that he’s a part of it.” 

Luke said nothing, returning his gaze to the book. If she hadn’t known better, she’d have just assumed he was looking for more clues. Rey chose her next words carefully, “Why me? I’m nobody.” 

Or perhaps she wasn’t. 

Rey had never believed in destiny. She hadn’t believed it was fate that she would meet Finn and BB-8. That she would discover the lightsaber in Maz’s castle, or that Kylo would find her. Again and again. 

Until now. 

“That book says the Force connects only the worthy. And that the bond lies dormant until first sight. But that means it was there all along. It knew we would be the Balance.” Rey flipped the page, but the passage ended there. Part of her knew she should hate the idea of destiny controlling her life, like everything she’d done was never her choice. Somehow, though, she doubted falling in love had been part of the Force’s greater plan. 

When she looked at Luke, he was staring at her the same way Maz had. Pity was only the cover for the knowledge underneath, and neither could decide whether to tell her. “How did it know, Luke? Why would it bind me, a mere scavenger from Jakku, with a powerful Skywalker?” 

Luke closed the book and turned to walk away. She bit down on a burst of anger flared through her as she grabbed his arm. “You know I’m not this powerful for nothing. You knew it the moment I came to you. So why won’t you tell me?” 

“It’s not my place to tell you.” 

His voice was solemn, and it echoed long after he left, taking the book with him. Luke knew about her parents’ death, she was sure of it. And now there was one other thing she could be sure of. 

She hadn’t considered her parents would be anyone special. Important to her, of course, but shadows to the rest of the galaxy. Though that didn’t explain where her powers came from. 

Luke knew who her parents really were. 

And one way or another, she would too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will hopefully be here soon. Let me know what you thought :)


	31. Aftertaste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth...
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Over 10,000 hits! This is amazing! Thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented and otherwise enjoyed my story! I am so grateful to you all - you guys make my day :D
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Finn was up and about the next morning. Rey found him in the kitchen, scrounging for food and coming up with only stale bread. He slammed the cupboard door with a curse, and winced at the pain it shot up his arm. 

Leaning against the door frame, Rey said, “You might find something in the ship.” 

Finn jumped at the sound of her voice and whirled. For a moment, she worried that he would scowl at her. But he chuckled, “I don’t know why I thought I’d find something in here if, as you said, no-one’s lived here for nearly twenty years.” 

Rey nodded, not returning his smile. Finn sobered as he realised why. 

“So, have you found anything yet?” 

“No. It seems they were good at hiding things.” Rey couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. After all, they’d hidden her pretty well. 

She understood why they did it. She might very well have been dead too if they hadn’t. But part of her wondered if they’d known about the bond, about her powers at all. If they had, wouldn’t they have found someone who could take care of her? 

Wouldn’t they have found someone who could help them all? 

Finn, she realised, was waiting. Rey wanted to tell him about the bond, though she still wasn’t convinced Finn was completely on board with her and Kylo. 

“I still have the rest of the library to search, though.” 

“Well…” Finn rubbed his hands together. “I could help you, if you like?” 

Rey was stunned for a moment. How had he gone from hating her to being her best friend again so fast? “Uh… I mean… That’d be great. Thank you.” 

It didn’t take long for them to reach the library and its grand collection of holobooks. Finn was quiet during the journey, and she sensed he was thinking about Poe. 

She hadn’t heard from Kylo since their dream, and she hated that he’d put the barriers up between them again. At least now she could trust it was for a good reason. Even so she was certain he would tell her if either of them weren’t okay. 

But Finn didn’t have that certainty. Rey couldn’t imagine living without the bond now, and she realised just how lucky she was to be gifted with such a connection. Nobody else had the privilege, only the fear and the hope those they loved would come home. 

Rey led the way to where she had left off. Dust had already collected on the seat, though she had wiped it to sit down before. 

“Shall I start from here then?” Finn asked, head already buried in the shelves. 

Rey considered for a moment. Part of her wanted to stay here with him, but they would cover more ground apart. She nodded and said, “I’ll go upstairs. Call me if you find anything.” 

Finn waved her off. “Will do.” 

The first floor was just as large, if not larger, than the ground. The shelves stretched higher into the curved ceiling and were closer together, with no tables set up in between. She leaned over the balcony, watching as Finn carried a stack of books to the window seat, and she couldn’t help the pang of guilt when he flinched from the weight against his injured arm. 

Rey turned away, promising to find a thousand ways to make it up to him. 

Instead of diving into the first shelf, she wandered to the end of the library, watching as the sun’s rays cut through the murk. What she didn’t expect to find was a sofa. 

It was much like the ones in Leia’s office, far too modern to belong in such an ancient building. She reasoned it could have been from the late days of the Jedi Order, right before it collapsed, but that didn’t explain the embroidered blanket strewn across it. Stitched into it were two letters: _K.R._

Rey folded it aside, and something fell from beneath it. A leather diary. 

She leant down to pick it up, finding a tear in the binding. The pages were worn and yellowed with age, all stained with scrawling ink. She flipped to the first page, something catching in her throat. 

Could this be…? 

A name was scrawled there. _Dosmit Raeh._

The name on her X-Wing pilot’s helmet. 

“What are the odds?” She whispered to herself. 

Rey hesitated before turning the page. Not because it was invading her privacy – surely if it was left here, the owner was too far gone to care. But because there was a possibility… 

Well, she didn’t remember finding that helmet on Jakku. 

So, she began. 

The first few entries were just details about her life as a pilot, in the years after the Battle of Endor. And Rey was enthralled by her tales, especially her escapades during the Battle of Jakku. She wondered if Dosmit had shot down any of the TIE fighters she’d scavenged from. 

After that, it changed:

_5 ABY  
I met him today. I hadn’t believed he was real, or that they’d found a descendant. _

_Luke was ecstatic. He was less so. But all those years in isolation, hiding away from the Empire – I couldn’t blame him. There was certainly a target on his back._

She’d known Luke. Probably Leia and Han too. 

But who was this mystery descendant? Of what bloodline?

_6 ABY_

_His name is Isaias._

_I didn’t think he knew my name, but he came by today to offer his condolences for the loss of Ellen. I can almost hear her voice now:_ “What are you doing missing me? Go after him, you fool!” 

Rey continued reading the next four pages of how her admired pilot fell head over heels for Isaias. And he for her. It was heart-warming, really, that such powerful love could exist in such dark times. 

She supposed she and Dosmit had a lot in common. 

The two were married not long after, and they lived a while on Hosnian Prime after the Galactic Concordance was made official. It seemed they remained friends with Han and Leia for a long time, while the former raced in the Five Sabers and the latter served as senator.

_14 ABY_

_Ben left for his uncle’s academy today. Ten years old. I couldn’t imagine leaving a child that young without their parents. But distraught as Leia is, she seems to think it is for the best._

_Admittedly, with the strength of his powers, I have to agree with her. The boy needs training. I can only hope my own child, if they develop powers as I think they will, can have the same opportunity._

Ten. Kylo was sent to Luke when he was ten. 

Dosmit was pregnant when Kylo was ten years old. The same number of years that lay between them. 

_15 ABY_

_She was born today. Isaias cried – so did I, for that matter. She’s so beautiful, and call me crazy, but I can feel there’s the stink of destiny about her._

_Han and Leia were there in the waiting room. I was surprised when the first to hold her was Han. I’d always taken Leia to be the sentimental one, but there was something off about her. There were moments when she stared at the baby, as if there was something strange._

_Come to think of it, Isaias did too. I suppose it’s just overwhelming. And when I asked Leia about it later, she said she felt the same way when Ben was born. Probably just the Force calling to them._

_Isaias says she’ll be powerful one day. That she’ll be strong. I know he’s right. Somehow I can feel it._

_One day she will be the most important woman in the galaxy._

_Our little Kira Raeh Kenobi._

Rey dropped the diary. _Kenobi._

Kenobi. _Kira Raeh Kenobi._

The name clanged through her, echoing from the deepest part of her like… Like the name had awoken something inside. 

“Kenobi.” The word she’d said so many times. Only now did it have a different taste in her mouth. The same taste her own name had. 

It couldn’t be… 

The familiarity, the _belonging_ she felt when Obi-Wan appeared. The way Luke looked at her sometimes, like he was remembering a better time. The strange behaviour from Leia in the entry – had she felt the bond? The two most powerful Force-using bloodlines in the galaxy, bound by the Force. 

No. It just couldn’t… Could it? 

Rey scrambled for the diary. She had to be sure.

_18 ABY_

_Something is coming. Isaias can feel it. He says a storm is coming, but he doesn’t know when or how or why._

_I want to believe he’s paranoid, but I’ve never seen him so shaken. And he’s afraid for her. She’s growing stronger by the day, he says. Sometimes I wish I had the Force too, so I can feel her power._

_But she gets nightmares. She wakes up crying in the middle of the night, though she never used to. When I ask her what she sees, all she says is darkness._

_Leia suggested we leave. Get some space to sort everything out, so we’re heading to Coruscant. Isaias is hopeful the Jedi Temple can help us._

The Temple. The nightmares full of darkness. By the Maker… 

Rey’s hands started shaking. The blanket. _K.R._ Kira Raeh. 

_20 ABY_

_Isaias says this is what’s best for her. I know he’s right, but I just can’t bring myself to leave her behind. The letter is all she has left now._

_Tekka is a good man, and I know he’ll take good care of her. Even he isn’t invincible, though. They’re coming for us. And one day they’ll come for her too. The only advantage we have is that they don’t know she exists._

That was it. The diary ended there. The story ended there. 

Her parents. Her mother, Dosmit Raeh, owner of her precious helmet. Her father, Isaias Kenobi, son of Obi-Wan. 

Kira Raeh Kenobi. A name she had long forgotten. Heir of a mighty bloodline, bound to the heir of another. 

Rey. The name she gave herself. A shred of who she really was, and somehow everything she could be. Rey Kenobi. 

It was why Obi-Wan had watched over her, why he kept appearing when she needed her family most. But it begged the question – why hadn’t he told her? 

“I thought it best you found out for yourself.” 

Rey’s heart stopped at the familiar voice. She had to close her eyes, shoving down the overwhelming tears that threatened to spill, before she turned around. 

There, cast in his usual ethereal blue glow, was Obi-Wan – _her grandfather._

“You should have told me.” Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible. 

Obi-Wan moved forward. “You must understand, this was the path you had to take.” 

Rey bit down on a flood of relief, followed swiftly by despair. Here was her family, what was left of it, and he’d left her alone. 

“It wasn’t the easiest path, and I would have given anything to let you have that. But it was the right one.” 

“The right one? You watched me for fourteen years, crying myself to sleep every night, and screaming at the nightmares that woke me up. You watched me take abuse and pain that no child should have to go through.” She snarled, and though a part of her told her to stop, that he was right, she couldn’t help herself. He’d abandoned her. “You watched me starve!” 

Lightning crackled at her fingertips, and Obi-Wan held out his hands. “You can’t hurt me, Rey. I’m just a ghost. You have to let me explain.” 

The energy died out. And every ounce of rage was replaced with empty grief, as if she’d lost them all over again. She didn’t want his explanations, she wanted his regret. She wanted his guilt instead of this steadfast belief in his own actions. 

With a mask of defiance, Rey wiped the tears from her cheeks and stormed past him. 

“Where are you going?” 

“I’m going to get that letter.” 

Obi-Wan materialised in front of her, and she reeled back in surprise. “You can’t do that.” 

“I am so sick of people telling me what I can and cannot do.” She growled, moving around him again. But he grabbed her arm. 

They both stared in shock where his fingers clamped on her skin. Before she could wonder, though, he said, “Rey, this isn’t the right path.” 

“From now on, I follow the path that I make.” 

With that, he disappeared. And part of her wished he’d stayed. 

But she had a job to do. 

She just never thought she’d end up back on Jakku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Much more still to come! 
> 
> Let me know what you thought :)


	32. You'll Always Find Your Way Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was INTENSE to write! Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for the love and support! You guys are amazing!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

Getting to Jakku would be the easy part. Sneaking out – that was another matter. 

Rey didn’t speak during dinner, only nodding her head or shrugging when appropriate. Neither Luke nor Finn asked questions, assuming she was just tired. Which gave another explanation for why she was pushing the soup around her bowl. Instead of the nausea growing in her stomach. 

She had to go. Now. 

“So, what were you two doing all day?” Luke said around a mouthful of bread. 

It was an effort to keep from startling. He hadn’t guessed. He didn’t know. He couldn’t. 

And Rey was right, because Luke was smiling at Finn. 

“We were in the library, looking for things that…” Finn glanced at her for approval, and she waved him on. “Things that belonged to Rey’s parents.” 

Luke’s expression turned solemn. “And?” 

Finn shrugged. “Well I didn’t find anything…” He turned to her. “Although, I haven’t seen you since this morning. Any luck?” 

“Not a thing.” She muttered, and he gently touched her shoulder. Apparently, this acting thing wasn’t too hard after all. 

“Maybe I’ll help tomorrow.” Luke dunked his bread in the soup, and pointed it towards them, spraying the hot liquid over the table. He cursed and mopped up the mess with a sleeve. “Three pairs of eyes are better than two.” 

“That’d be great.” Finn beamed. And apparently, he was enjoying this far too much. 

Rey watched as the sun descended below the skyline, casting the city in twilight hues. 

Now. Before they were done. 

Rey shoved her bowl away. Both men looked at her. “I… uh, I’m going to turn in.” 

Though confused, they both nodded and wished her good night. 

That was easy. 

And it was easy to slip through the corridors, grab her affects and head towards the hangar. The only threat was Luke and Finn hearing the engines. But they were across the other side of the Temple… 

Still she couldn’t have them following her. 

Good thing she rigged one of the machines in the other hangar to blow. 

Precisely five minutes. 

Rey jumped into the cockpit of the U-Wing. For a moment, she considered telling Kylo about this plan. But he would only come after her, and he had bigger problems right now. She was counting on this going smoothly. 

_Are you sure you want to do this?_

The voice in her head had been trying to talk her out of it all day. 

_This is for them._

Preparing for take-off took only a few seconds longer than usual, what with an unfamiliar ship now in her control, but she was ready. 

Five. Rey flipped the switch to prepare the engines. 

Four. Slung her pack and lightsaber into the co-pilot seat. 

Three. Set course for Jakku. 

Two. Grasped the controls. 

One. 

The explosion rumbled through the Temple, shaking the ground where the U-Wing sat. There wasn’t time to feel it. Rey had already lifted off and was flying into the Coruscant atmosphere, clouds of flame and smoke billowing behind her.

**

“We’ll arrive on D’Qar in ten minutes.” Poe called from the cockpit. 

Kylo had let the other man fly once they were off Korriban, and certain no-one was following them. Something about that irked him. Surely Snoke would have sent the rest of his knights after them, drag them back for judgement. 

But everything was quiet. Too quiet for his liking. 

Yet Kylo couldn’t focus on that too long. They’d sent a message to his uncle on Coruscant to let them know they were heading back. Though Luke had replied curtly, saying they’d meet them on D’Qar, and though he had been dishevelled with a haunted look in his eye, Kylo focused only on one aspect. 

Within the hour, he would see Rey again. 

He couldn’t wait to have her back in his arms. To hold her, comfort her the way he wished he could in the dream. And to kiss her until they were both gasping for breath. 

He was imagining it so much he didn’t notice the silence on the other end of the bond. 

“You know,” Poe was leaning against the entrance to the flight deck, arms folded. “You might not receive the welcome you expect.” 

Kylo snorted, busy scrubbing at the blood and dirt on his face. “Believe me, I don’t expect a fanfare.” 

The other man scratched at his chin, where ten days’ worth of stubble grew. “There are senators there, on D’Qar. They want you locked up.” 

“Executed, you mean.” Kylo met Poe’s gaze, and he could have sworn there was true sorrow in his eyes. He smirked. “They have to catch me first.” 

“Your mother’s been doing everything she can to stop them.” 

Right. His mother. She would be there to greet them when they touched down. 

He’d been so caught up with Rey that he forgot about his mother. 

“She still cares about you.” Poe said softly. 

“I know.” 

Leia hadn’t looked at him with disappointment, or hatred when she arrived on Arkanis. Compassion was all he had felt in her gaze. She still loved him, she’d forgiven him, despite what he’d done. 

“She was the only one that believed Rey could do it.” 

This time he met the other man’s stare. “What do you mean?” 

“When you took her on Naboo, Leia was desperately trying to convince us you might turn from the dark because of Rey. No-one believed her, not even Luke.” Poe chuckled. “I guess we were all wrong.” 

Something bleeped from the cockpit. 

“We’re here.” 

Poe took them gently down onto D’Qar’s landing strip. An explosion of colour assaulted Kylo’s senses. He’d forgotten the vivid greens and sharp blues of the planet his family had called home every summer. 

Poe had evidently sent word since no-one fired at the incoming First Order shuttle. Though as they landed, Kylo watched many pilots and technicians scurry inside. Once he would have loved that fear, that feeling of power – but this was his side now. 

He had a lot of bridges to build. 

His companion disembarked first, running out into the sunshine and safety of home. A few of his fellow pilots, in particular a dark-haired woman he recognised from Arkanis, came out to greet him. 

Kylo watched from the shadows, preparing himself for what was to come. He felt as alien here as he now did in The First Order. 

Then a figure emerged from the bowels of the Resistance base. She walked with regal grace, matched by the blue dress she wore. Her greying hair was tied back, secured with cobalt hair pins. Her dark eyes held love and relief as she embraced Poe, then confusion and hope as she looked around. 

A mother searching for her lost son. 

_I’m home, mother._

The thought reverberated through him as he took a deep breath and stepped forward. The chatter amongst the pilots stopped instantly. The wind died, and it seemed even the birds stopped chirping. 

Leia’s gaze fell upon him, and Kylo froze at the base of the loading door. She moved towards him, all eyes on her back, waiting to see what she did. There was a shred of fear in his heart that she would reject him. 

His mother stopped inches from him. There was a second without movement, as if time halted, and a connection Kylo thought was long lost snapped into place. 

Then Leia drew back her hand. And struck Kylo square across the face. 

Pain stung through his cheek as he reeled back from the blow. But Leia moved again, and wrapped her son in her arms. 

Kylo hesitated before returning the embrace, yet as he did, he felt every worry, every tension drain out of him. And he had to bury his face in his mother’s shoulder to conceal the tears streaking down his face, as she was concealing hers in his chest. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there like that. Eventually his mother pulled back, moving his hair behind his ear like when he was young. He expected her to say she loved him, that she missed him and she was glad he was home. 

Instead, in typical Leia Organa fashion, she waggled a finger at him and said, “You deserved that.” 

Kylo chuckled. “I’m sure I deserve much more than that.” 

She gave him a soft smile, laying a hand on his cheek. Somehow that simple touch was enough to soothe the sting. “You’re home.” 

“It was a long time coming.” He muttered. 

“If only your father was here to see this.” Another tear escaped down her cheek. 

Kylo couldn’t meet her gaze after that. “I’m sorry… I wish I could…” 

“I know.” Leia patted his cheek and moved away. 

Just as the engines of an approaching ship rumbled overhead. 

_Rey._

But when Kylo turned, it wasn’t the ship he expected to see. Instead of a battered U-Wing, he found a patched-up – and if he had a guess, _stolen_ – 720 light freighter. 

Had the U-Wing been damaged? Had they been in the city and had to leave quickly? 

Leia appeared just as confused as the freighter set itself down. 

Kylo was moving as soon as the loading door began to open. Finn disembarked first, the same haunted look in his eyes as Kylo had seen in his uncle’s earlier. Their gazes met for a second, and something like panic crossed Finn’s face. 

What had happened? Kylo’s concern only grew when he saw the bandage around the other man’s arm. 

Poe came rushing forward. Straight for Finn. The two men embraced, longer than any friend’s hug. And they remained holding each other as they pulled back. 

Luke came only a few seconds later, and his mother went to greet him. She pulled her brother aside, casting a wary glance at her son. 

Kylo barely noticed, staring at the loading door. There was still one more. 

Seconds he waited. Minutes. Still nothing. 

_“Rey?”_

He moved slowly to the freighter, as if she would jump out at him. But it was silent. Empty. 

“Where is she?” He whispered to himself. He probed the bond again, and found only steel barriers. So, he turned on his uncle. “Where is she?” 

Luke had no words. _No,_ he thought. _She wasn’t…_

No. The bond was still there. Still alive and breathing. 

A rage he hadn’t felt in a long time bubbled in his chest. “Where. Is. She.” 

“We don’t know.” 

Startled, Kylo glanced from Luke to his mother to Finn. Poe was the only one who looked as frightened as he felt. And Kylo’s lightsaber was out before he knew he reached for it. 

“What do you mean _you don’t know?_ ” 

“She disappeared.” Finn now, voice cracking. “There was an explosion…. And when we looked for her, she… she wasn’t there.” 

An explosion? By the Maker. 

And they just _left_? She could be hurt, screaming for help in the ruins. 

Only that didn’t explain the bond. 

“We think Rey did it.” Luke said, stepping towards his nephew. He lay a gentle hand on Kylo’s wrist, and he was too weak to resist Luke’s grasp on his lightsaber. “We will find her. I swear.” 

“Perhaps you will.” 

Everyone turned to the voice. A man in the white robes of Corellia stepped forward. He was old – older than his mother. Or at least that’s what the man’s thinning white hair indicated. His icy gaze practically froze Kylo where he stood. 

Senator Thrax. 

Behind him, two other senators emerged, and Kylo recognised them from Naboo. 

“Perhaps you will find your Padawan, Master Skywalker.” Thrax drawled at Luke. Kylo hated that voice – the sarcasm, the condescension in it. As if his uncle, who could kill him with a flick of his wrist, were beneath him. “But Ren here won’t be going anywhere.” 

Leia stepped in front of him, one hand protectively splayed on his chest. If he could have seen her face, Kylo knew his mother was full of anger. Like a mother wolf protecting her cub. 

“You won’t touch him.” 

Thrax arched in eyebrow, cruel humour dancing in his eyes. “Won’t I?” 

That’s when Luke took his place beside Leia. “No, you won’t.” 

Poe and Finn flanked the twins. All of them – forming a human blockade to protect a man who had caused them more harm than good. To protect her son, his nephew, their friend. 

“You can’t stop us.” 

Men in royal guard uniforms marched out, and seized the people in front of him. Unsurprisingly, Finn gave up easily enough that they released their hold. They daren’t touch Luke, he guessed from the amount of respect he commanded, but the others fought back vehemently. 

Poe struggled against the grasp of two men not much larger than him, and they had to bring in two more to hold him still. He gave Kylo an apologetic look, which Kylo returned with a nod as he himself was surrounded by six men with loaded blasters. 

His mother, however… She kicked and threw her elbows back, forever the stubborn princess. She knocked two men out cold, and a sickening crack resounded as her fist connected with the face of another. Blood spurted from the guard’s nose as he stumbled back. 

Leia, hair falling out of the knot in disarray, looked no less than the war hero his father had told him about. And she looked to her son with pleading eyes as more guards lunged to secure her. “Run, Ben!” 

But Kylo was surrounded. Luke still had his lightsaber, and he couldn’t attack these men efficiently with the Force without summoning the darkness he so despised. Well, in desperate times… 

Before Kylo could move, something large barrelled into three of the guards. Something large and very hairy. 

Chewbacca growled at him to run over the screams of the men at his mercy. _Rule number one,_ his father had said, _don’t mess with a Wookiee._

One of the remaining guards ran at him. Kylo silenced him within seconds, choking him in the air. He sensed the fear throughout the base at the sight, yet he kept going. The next went down with a shove into a wall. His head thwacked against the stone, and as he fell, he left a crimson streak. 

The final one approached from behind, attempted to grab Kylo by the neck. But an elbow into his abdomen had him reeling back. Kylo whirled and punched him in the jaw. He didn’t get up after that. 

_Now._ He could get away now. He could take the ship, run, find Rey. 

And he almost did. 

Only when he looked back… Finn was being held back as he screamed at the floor – at Poe, whose sides were being bashed in by thick boots. Luke and Chewie, though they held their own, were overwhelmed with guards and supporters from the Resistance itself. 

If even the Resistance officers were turning on their own leader… They truly were alone in this fight. 

The dark-haired pilot – Jessika, he thought her name was – was an impressive fighter as she floored a few traitors. 

Kylo looked at his mother last. At his beautiful, vengeful mother, to whom he could never repay his debt, and who was winning by the skin of her teeth. 

He couldn’t leave them here. They would be slaughtered. Captured. With the malicious look on Thrax’s face, Kylo wasn’t sure which was worse. 

He had to stop this. 

So, he cast out a hand, lightsaber called instantly to his grip. He supposed, in some twisted fairy tale, he would have been the knight here to save the day. 

Kylo became that knight. He became the Knight of Ren he’d been trained to be, and the Jedi Rey had always wanted him to be. The man _he_ wanted to be. 

As soon as they saw the red flare, the guards fired their blasters. Kylo blocked every attack, advancing with each step. They would not hurt him. They would not hurt his family any more. Nobody would. 

They went down like a house of cards. Each one – he went through them one by one like they were leaves and he was the howling wind. 

But it wasn’t enough. The more he killed, the more took their places, the more Resistance fighters joined the wrong side. 

“General!” 

The voice rang through the crowd like a pebble hitting stone. Everyone turned to the private charging onto the landing strip, eyes wide. Kylo blinked at the familiar face – he’d been a Stormtrooper at the Academy. 

“General, message from Jakku.” The private tried to push through the commotion to his mother, who had straightened herself, but was seized by the royal guards. 

_Jakku…_

Rey. It had to be. 

Thrax plucked the message from the private’s hand and screwed it up. “She’s not the general anymore.” 

Kylo snarled and made for the senator. No-one disrespected his mother like that. 

If only Kylo had noticed a guard take advantage of the distraction, and the butt of a blaster crashing into the side of his head. 

**

To Rey’s surprise, her AT-AT was still mostly intact. She’d expected thieves and other scavengers to have hollowed it out by now. 

Yet as she moved around, the blistering heat welcoming her back to her own personal Hell, nothing had been taken. Only nature had taken its toll, with small dunes of sand making their homes in the corners like dust on a window pane. 

Night was approaching, and she of all people knew not to venture Jakku at night. So, she threw herself into her old hammock and stared at the holes in the ceiling. 

She’d carved them out to see the stars when she felt lonely. 

For a moment, she wondered if Obi-Wan had ever watched her do this. If he’d ever heard the stories she would tell herself, about her mother and father out in the stars, who would return and fascinate her with those stories. 

Grief swelled in her heart again, but she pushed it down. She had every right to be angry with Obi-Wan. But something about what he said, about this not being the right path, played on her mind. 

Wouldn’t he have wanted her to get that letter? 

Rey had no illusions as to who had the letter. Poe had told her how Lor San Tekka’s village had burned down in a First Order raid, and she had never met the man. No, all she remembered were large, smarmy hands on her, dragging her away from where she belonged. 

Her parents had entrusted her delivery to Unkar Plutt, but he had never seen fit to follow through. Not when he could groom another young soul into collecting parts for his junkyard. 

He had that letter. And she would do anything to get it back from the brute. 

Rey cast it from her mind and let her thoughts wander to Kylo. 

Funny how six months ago, she’d lain awake thinking of the man in the mask plaguing her nightmares. It made her wonder how different things might have been had her parents remained with Leia on Hosnian Primes. 

Would she have gone to Luke’s Academy? Would she have been able to stop what Ben went through that drove him to the edge? Would they have grown up together, shared the bond and one day fallen for each other as they had? 

It was another life, meant for another Rey, and yet impossible not to imagine. It made her wonder if she truly wished for that life, without these complications. If she wished she had taken another path, to lead her away from the darkness. 

Only the path away from the darkness… Wasn’t that the same path away from him? 

All the way here, she’d thought perhaps she should clue him in. When he arrived on D’Qar and she wasn’t there… 

She couldn’t imagine that kind of fear. 

But she had a choice. Tell him and risk not getting to the letter, or not tell him and find out what her parents last words to her ever would be. 

This was something she had to do for herself. 

It was only a few more hours. A few more and then everything would be okay. 

Rey kept telling herself that long into the night.

**

Rey didn’t bother hiding herself as she strode into Niima Outpost the following morning, having parked the U-Wing just outside. She’d gathered her belongings, particularly her mother’s helmet, into the ship before dawn and set off before the morning rush into town. 

The usual suspects were here. Rey counted them off as she walked by. As they all turned to stare at her. 

Some stared at the change of clothes, nothing suitable for the desert. Others stared at her hair, how she no longer looked like a child. They all wondered why she’d come back, when she had the chance to escape this life. And because of that, they were afraid of her presence. 

No-one would return here without good reason. And the lightsaber hilt in her hand told them she wasn’t here on a passing fancy. 

Rey made straight for Unkar Plutt’s booth. His thugs were everywhere, communicating with signals she’d memorised years ago. They were going to circle her, stalk her, kill her if necessary. 

Rey fought the urge to smirk. _I’d like to see them try._

Plutt was sat in his booth, examining another piece of machinery – a compression coil at closer inspection – whatever unlucky bastard had brought him today. He set it down with a thud and said in his droning voice, “Half portion.” 

The humanoid tossed a packet to the hunched man and waved him along. Rey raced to be the next in line, earning her some protests from those behind her, but they quieted when she gave them a withering glance. 

That was nothing compared to the shock on Unkar Plutt’s face when he turned to face her. 

Rey sneered, the gesture nothing short of malevolent. “Remember me?” She snarled, and jammed the end of her saber-staff into his face. 

Blood coated the metal, and half of the humanoid’s face as he stumbled back. “Why, you little…” Plutt drew back a hand to strike, but Rey whirled and struck again, this time to the side of his head. 

Red welled there too, enough to make him stagger out of his booth and round on her. He signalled to his thugs, who stepped closer, weapons ready. 

Rey ignited her lightsaber. And they all paused. No-one wanted to mess with a weapon of this power in the hands of an amateur. But in the hands of a trained Jedi with a bone to pick… Well, it was suicide. 

Only they didn’t know that. 

“Where is it?” 

Plutt laughed. “Where is what, little girl?” 

Rey twirled her saber, as if ready to strike. “I know you have it. And I want it back.” Realisation dawned in the humanoid’s eyes, but he laughed again. “Thought you’d never ask. Too dumb to figure it out, I wagered. So, I burnt it.” 

A primal scream threatened to burst out of her. He hadn’t burnt it. She could feel that, but the threat was clear in his words. 

Rey concentrated her burning gaze on his, and said in a sickly-sweet voice, “You want to call off your cronies and get me that letter.” 

Plutt looked as if he were about to laugh at her impertinence again, but his eyes glazed over and he straightened. “I want to call off my cronies and get you that letter.” 

With a wave of his pudgy hand, the thugs stood down. 

This was going much better than she’d expected. 

Plutt disappeared into his booth and Rey listened as parts went crashing around. She leant against the doorway, watching the guard dogs as they glanced between each other, clearly confused as to what had happened. 

She shouldn’t have been enjoying it, but she couldn’t help the smirk on her face. And Maker damn her, she Force pulled an apple from a nearby stall and took a bite. 

The apple was nothing like the Starfruit Kylo had given her. It wasn’t sweet or juicy, rather baked from the sun. But it was worth it from the incredulous expressions she got. 

Plutt emerged a few minutes later, envelope in hand. She practically snatched it from his hands. There, on the front, it read: _Our dearest Kira Raeh._

It would have been perfect had the mind trick not worn off the next moment. 

Plutt grabbed her hair in his fist, dragging her towards the back of his booth. Where it was quiet and secluded. Where he’d had her whipped all those years ago, so no-one heard her screams over the bustle of the market. 

He threw her into the ground. “You think you could escape a second time?” 

One of his thugs kicked her back down as she tried to get up. Anger rippled through her, sizzling through her veins and collecting in her fingertips. 

She pushed the rage down. She was better than these men. She would always be better than those who pushed her down. 

“You think I would forget what you stole from me?” The foot collided with her abdomen, and she struggled to breathe. Stars danced in her vision. And she blocked it out as long as she could. 

Maybe she was better than them. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t defend herself. When the foot came again, Rey grabbed it, pulled it out from under her attacker. He flew back, head colliding with the sand. She was up in moments, lightsaber spinning in her hands. 

She called up everything Kylo had taught her. Everything that came as naturally as breathing. It burned – oh, how it burned. The sensation, this connection to the Force set her on fire. And she loved it. 

She moved like a whirlwind, and these men were already carrion. Her lightsaber sliced through skin and flesh and bone. Every attack was made before she knew it was coming. 

When they charged, she left them broken on the ground. When they came from behind, she whirled and gutted them where they stood. 

The heat of battle sung through her like a symphony – the notes were her footsteps, the melody the hum of her lightsaber. 

A familiar voice sounded in her head. _Kill them all._

This time, she listened. 

Plutt watched his men go down one by one, jaw slack. _Only him left,_ the voice sneered. _He deserves it more than any of them._

Rey stormed for him. Fear, pure as any fear she’d ever felt, radiated off him as he backed away, hands up in surrender. It was too late for that. _Far too late._

“Did you think I would forget?” She snarled. “Did you think I would forget all the times you took advantage of me? All the times you abused me like I was a toy?” 

Rey shoved a foot into Unkar Plutt’s chest. He fell back in a mess of fat and sweat, hands still outstretched. “Have mercy.” 

She released the hold on her anger then. Lightning sparked in her core, but she didn’t let it out. Not yet. 

“Mercy? You don’t deserve mercy any more than I deserved what you put me through. You should have taken me to him, given me that letter when I needed it.” She spat the blood coating her mouth at him. “You’re not worthy of mercy.” 

She turned around, as if to walk away. Plutt struggled to his feet, but he never got there. Because Rey whirled, arcing her lightsaber down, fire scorching in her veins – and sliced clean through his neck. 

Unkar Plutt’s head hit the sand with a sickening squelch of blood. It flowed and flowed from his body, staining everything scarlet. 

The screams around her cut through the static moments later. She’d killed them all. But they weren’t staring at the corpses, they were staring at her. 

And when she caught her reflection in a sheet of metal, she understood why. 

Her eyes. Glowing bright gold. 

Rey fell to her knees as the light inside turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...
> 
> I'll try not to keep the next chapter from you for too long. We're nearing the end now, so I hope to keep the chapters coming quickly. Let me know what you thought! :)


	33. Losing Your Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short, but here we go...
> 
> Enjoy! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as usual! You guys are amazing, and I'm so grateful to you for letting me share this with you. Almost over now, but I'll save that until the end :)
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

All they remembered was pain. Splitting agony as something collided with their skulls, sending blackness to engulf them in its void. And beneath it, a kind of ache, like something was being torn away. 

Neither of them recognised it until the world came into focus. One a cold grey room, laying on a slab of metal – yet another cell. The other a hollow chamber, larger and darker than before – figures robed in black shuddering into reality. 

It felt like a strain at first. A headache in the back of the mind. Then a tug, a thread starting to fray between here and there. With a half-hearted grip, they held on. But they were too late…

**  
Rey didn’t have to see herself to know the gold ring was still there. Gold flickering like a flame, red spider-webbing its way to the edges. 

She felt it inside like a storm cloud, casting everything it touched in shadow, choking all the light out of her veins. And within, a ball of energy, sparking and pulsing – Maker, it _hurt_. 

It burned and burned, yet the fire never ran out. 

Would this be her eternity? 

“The last Kenobi.” A booming voice filled her ears, a voice she knew all too well, one that haunted her nightmares. “And how powerful she is.” 

Rey looked up, vision scorching as she met Snoke’s gaze. She wanted to lunge at him, to thrust her lightsaber through his eye and reduce him to cinders with the lightning crackling under her skin. 

But there were hands on her. Large, forceful hands that pinned her to her knees. Dry blood ran from her nose, over her lips, and bruises covered her knuckles. Her lightsaber lay a few feet ahead, taunting her. 

“You are much stronger than him, I can feel that.” Him? Rey barely remembered his name. “He made you weak. He hid you from me because he knew he was weaker than you.” 

Snoke rose from his seat, gestured for someone to come forward. A shock of red hair blurred beside the Supreme Leader. _Hux_. 

“Hello, Rey.” The general sneered. He made to approach her, but Snoke stopped him with a sharp hand. 

“I did not summon you here, general, to torture our guest.” 

“ _Guest_?” Hux spat. 

“Yes. Miss Kenobi will be a fine apprentice. Skywalker has taught her well, but now she will be our weapon.” 

“Sir?” 

Snoke rolled his eyes. Rey almost did the same; Hux’s stupidity was sometimes inconceivable. “Ren has betrayed us. And so, he shall die.” His disfigured mouth twisted up into a cruel grin. “Who better to do it than the one he loves the most?” 

Something in her protested, but the shadows shoved it down. Killing the man who had murdered a friend, who stole her from home, who made her into _this_ – yes, something in her liked that. 

“Traitors must learn they do not escape so easily. The galaxy must learn that if they disobey, the last thing they will see in this life is darkness.” 

It liked that even more. Like a beast opening its mighty jaws to devour the flesh of its prey. 

Hux’s smile matched Snoke’s, a truly terrifying sight. “She will train with you, then.” 

The Supreme Leader nodded. “Her strength is unparalleled. With a Kenobi at our side, the galaxy will kneel.” 

The beast rattled its cage. And broke the chains. 

Rey shrugged off the iron grips at her shoulders like they were feathers. Her lightsaber landed in her fingers, blazing like wildfire. But she didn’t attack. 

Hux’s eyes were wide, hand moments away from drawing the blaster at his hip. Snoke, however, was only mildly surprised. 

All these words… Calling to the darkness, manipulating her thoughts… 

Yet she wanted it. She wanted the power and the fear when people saw her. She wanted to take what she was owed, and the galaxy owed her everything. 

“And the bond, Supreme Leader?” 

“Oh, that…” Snoke gestured towards her, and a sharp pain filled her head. Agony as something in her mind was ripped from her grasp, a bridge cracking and shattering under the pressure. 

And for a moment she remembered. Kira Raeh Kenobi, descendent of the light. Kylo Ren, her lover and soulmate. 

Then the moment was gone. 

And the bond snapped. 

A cold, empty void opened in her mind, swallowing the memories. Everything she was. Everything she could have been, replaced with black. 

“My apprentice, are you ready?” 

“Yes, Master.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me... please...
> 
> Haha hope you enjoyed! Know it's short, but this chapter was a last minute addition. Let me know what you thought :)


	34. Wretches and Kings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After that last chapter, this is a long time coming. Kylo's POV. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued patience and love. You guys make all this hard work worth it! Well, that and Reylo ;)
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

“Do you want me to read the charges?” Senator Thrax said over the intercom. 

Kylo sat with his back to the wall. Staring straight ahead, through the thick glass separating his captors from him. Maker, if he never saw another cell in his lifetime, it would be too soon. 

He didn’t answer the senator, who went on anyway, “Kylo Ren, you are hereby charged with the murder of Han Solo, the mass murder of the children at Luke Skywalker’s Academy, the kidnapping of Skywalker’s latest apprentice, and the terrorisation of the galaxy. How do you plead?” 

“So, this is my trial?” Kylo said dryly. He thought hearing everything he’d done out loud would have resigned him to his fate. Instead, he found himself wanting to roll his eyes. 

He itched to set Thrax straight. The mass murder of children? No-one younger than himself had died on his blade. Kidnapping his uncle’s latest apprentice? Somehow, he didn’t think Rey cared about that anymore. 

“There is no Senate in which to trail you properly.” Thrax arched an eyebrow. “You saw to that, didn’t you?” 

“Actually, you can blame my red-haired co-worker for that.” 

Thrax snorted at the sarcasm in his voice. “You know the penalty for crimes such as these is death.” 

Kylo fought the urge to smirk. “Do I get any last requests?” 

Before Thrax could reply, someone pushed past his rigid frame. Guards moved to hold her back, but his mother wasn’t about to give up so easily. 

“Let me talk to him, Thrax.” 

“You know I can’t do that, _princess_.” 

From the look on Leia’s face, Kylo could tell she was debating whether or not to spit in the senator’s face. Stripping her of the general title was the greatest dishonour he could have done her. 

“I’m going in there.” 

Thrax leaned closer to his mother, that smug grin twisting his mouth as he whispered, “Under what authority?” 

Kylo vowed when he got out of there, he was going to wipe that smirk off the conceited bastard’s face. 

“Under the authority that saved your arse in the war.” Leia growled. “I’m seeing my son, Thrax. Whether you like it or not.” 

Thrax considered, clearly pissed she had the upper hand. No-one in their right mind messed with Leia Organa. 

Eventually, he backed off. “Maybe you can make him see sense.” He gestured for the guards to leave, and left Kylo alone with his mother. 

“Well, that was easier than I expected.” Leia said once she was sure they were gone. She slumped into the chair, gentle smile managing to calm him a little. 

He’d woken a day ago to a splitting headache. A result of being bashed around the head, no doubt. 

Thrax had been there, watching him tumble off the metal slab they called a bed, watching him heave the contents of his stomach onto the floor. 

But the pain and the sickness had passed. What didn’t was the feeling that something was missing. He hadn’t heard from Rey yet, and he grew more worried by the minute. The only consolation he had was that she was strong enough to take care of herself – at least until he’d dealt with his own problems. Like being locked in a cell and charged with treason. 

“I’m sorry for this.” Leia rubbed the palm of her hand across her forehead. 

It had been so long since he’d seen his own mother that he barely recognised her. Not the worry lines streaking her face. Not the grey in her hair. Not the purple bruises beneath her eyes from endless sleepless nights. 

By the Maker, what had he done to her? 

“This isn’t your fault.” Kylo said. 

His mother huffed a laugh. “It is. I didn’t fight hard enough for you.” 

Kylo knew she didn’t just mean against Thrax. All those years of keeping herself focused on her work, rather than on her son – part of him understood why she did it, the galaxy had been in chaos, but the rest would never comprehend why that mattered more than he did. 

But he forgave her. Kylo had forgiven her the moment he saw her. 

“Maybe.” Kylo nodded, looking once around the sparse walls of his cell. “But everything he said is true. I did those things, and there’s nothing to be done to change that.” 

“You still deserve better.” 

Spoken like a true mother. 

“I suppose you want to know what the message from Jakku was.” 

Kylo leant forward, bracing his forearms on his knees. 

Leia sighed before she began, “Rey was seen there. In Niima Outpost. We had a couple of droids keeping an eye on Unkar Plutt in case he tried to come after her again, and one of them called in.” 

“You’ve sent a squad?” Kylo couldn’t keep the hope from his voice, though something was telling him they wouldn’t find her. 

She shook her head. “It’s not that simple.” 

“What do you mean, it’s not that simple?” 

“The message said the droid saw her go to Unkar Plutt directly. She attacked him, asking about a letter. And when…” Leia met his gaze, fear like nothing he’d seen in his mother’s eyes before lingering there. “She killed them, Ben.” 

Kylo swore his heart stopped. _Killed them_. Rey had killed someone – not someone, several. No, she would never... 

But it explained everything. Why he hadn’t heard for days. Why he couldn’t feel her now… 

Wait. He couldn’t feel her. 

He could always feel her, even when the barriers were up. She was always there, always a presence in the back of his mind. 

Kylo prodded the bond. But where the thread should have been, there was only a gaping chasm of… nothing. 

“The last we know is that she was taken by men in black robes and masks.” 

Kylo looked straight at his mother. The Knights of Ren. Snoke had her. Snoke had done something to her. 

That was easier to accept than the alternative. Because the only way to break a Force bond was… 

_Death._

She was not dead. He would know, wouldn’t he? Rey was not dead. 

“Ben?” 

He barely heard Leia’s voice over the simmering rage flooding through his bones, consuming his heart. Snoke had spent years beating the compassion out of him. He left only the rage and in this moment, Kylo couldn’t have been more grateful for that. 

His chest felt as hollow as his mind. Except for that rage. And Kylo couldn’t wait for Snoke to get a taste of it. 

“Ben, don’t look at me like that. If there was anything I could have done…” 

Kylo stood, the movement fast enough to make his mother flinch. “Get back.” 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m going to get her.” His voice was hardly more than a snarl. Snoke had Rey. Was doing Maker-knows-what to her. “Right now.” 

She nodded once and ran out the room. Kylo thrust out a hand, and curled it into a fist. The glass rippled under the pressure, and he threw all his power behind it. Too much power, because the lights smashed, the metal of the cell door crumpled and the very rock beneath his feet trembled. 

Alarms blared, but the only noise he heard was the symphony of war in his ears. This was what he’d been waiting for. This was his calling. 

Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. Skywalker. It didn’t matter the name. It didn’t matter the colour of his robes or his lightsaber. No, what mattered was the force of his will, and the Force within him that spiked in response. 

Luke had told him he was destined for great things. He hadn’t known what he meant until now. Him and her. Ben and Rey. They would bring back a Balance the galaxy had lost a long time ago. 

He just had to find her first. 

Guards positioned themselves to attack at the end of the hallway. He didn’t care. Let them take a shot. 

They all did. And they all felt the shock when he deflected the bolts with nothing but a flick of his wrist. All felt the burn as the bolts pierced their own skin. 

Hallway after hallway, guards and Resistance traitors went down. He should have cared at the sight their cold, dead eyes as he passed, but how many bodies had he left across the galaxy? What was a few more in the time of war? 

Let them try to stop him. Let Thrax shackle him, beat him down. Kylo would fight back until the galaxy was nothing but a whisper of forgotten memories for her. 

Darkness had fallen throughout the base, emergency lights flashing everywhere. Yelled commands pierced the sirens. He was starting to get used to this. 

“Stop!” A guard shouted. 

Kylo turned slowly, in mock surrender. But the guard he saw surprised him. She was too young, too short to be a guard. 

The girl ran up to him, no fear evident on her face, though her blaster was trained on his chest. Kylo played along, folding his hands behind his head and letting her shove him with the barrel of her blaster. 

She checked once over her shoulder before pushing him into a dark alcove where even the security feed couldn’t find them. Then she tugged off the guard’s cap and unbuttoned the uniform that must have been two sizes too big for her. 

Underneath was a Resistance private’s badge. 

“Your lightsaber is already on the ship. Let’s go.” She said. 

“Who are you?” 

The girl shrugged. “Ex-trooper. Joined the Resistance. Your mother and everyone are waiting.” 

They were going to Korriban. To face Snoke. Were they suicidal? 

“They’re not coming.” 

She looked at him in disbelief. “Yes, we are. All of us are. And we have to go. Now.” 

“Look, little girl, this is between me and Snoke. You all come, and you might as well sign the death register now.” 

“ _Look_ , pretty boy, we’re all coming. You’re not the only one who has a bone to pick with Snoke.” 

Kylo was about to argue, but… This girl. She sounded so much like Rey. Had the same fire in her veins. “What’s your name?” 

“Jayne. Now let’s go.”

**

This hangar was the only one not crawling with guards. The alarms had died down now, but there was still the thunderous clap of boots on stone echoing through the chamber and its adjoining passageways. 

Kylo and Jayne emerged into the hangar and were met with a dozen faces. Jayne peeled off from his side to join her cohorts, embracing one man with blond hair. 

Instead, Kylo stepped towards his mother. “Are you crazy?” 

Leia loaded and unloaded one of her favourite blaster pistols. “Rey is important to all of us.” She met his frantic gaze and placed a warm hand on his cheek. “And so are you.” 

Poe, who had been checking Finn’s assortment of weapons, moved around his mother with a grin. “Did you really think we’d let you go alone?” 

The pilot clapped him on the shoulder before running up the boarding ramp of the _Millennium Falcon_. Kylo let his eyes rove over his father’s ship. It was still as dirty and beaten up as ever, but that was what his father had cherished about it. The fact that it looked like a piece of garbage, and yet was one of the greatest ships in the galaxy. 

He expected it to squeeze the life out of him with all it meant. Han Solo’s ship. His father’s ship. A ship he would have one day inherited. 

But the _Falcon_ seemed to welcome him home. And Kylo could almost hear his father’s voice saying, _‘It’s yours now, son. Treat her well.’_

_‘I will. Father.’_

“Come on.” It was Leia’s voice that roused him to board, and he followed her into the common area. 

Sat at the table where he’d learnt to play Dejarik was Chewbacca. The Wookiee inclined his head, more than he’d been given in a while. Kylo tried to push down the memories of being chased around the Falcon by Chewie; it only hurt more now that the Wookiee wouldn’t even speak to him. 

Luke was beside his father’s best friend. He had his eyes closed, head tilted to the roof. Meditating. Poe had taken up his place in the cockpit, the seat beside him empty. No doubt would Finn take that spot, but… 

Kylo moved into the cockpit, gripping the back of the co-pilot’s seat. The last time he’d been here – Starkiller Base, when he’d felt his father’s presence. Kylo shook the thought away. 

“Sit. I could do with a good co-pilot.” Poe said as he flipped switches on the control board. 

“What about Finn?” 

The other man gestured behind him. “He can sit back there if he likes.” Poe met his gaze with a smirk. “Besides you’re the only other one who knows where we’re going.” 

When the flight preparations were done, and Poe had shouted back to brace for take-off, he finally turned and dug around in the supply pack he’d shoved on the seat behind him. Moments later he drew out Kylo’s lightsaber. 

“You might be needing that.” 

Kylo took it, tested its weight as he always did. Part of him wished he really wouldn’t need it, but there would be more bloodshed before this was over. 

“Thanks.” 

The hangar door opened onto night air. And onto lines of guards with blasters trained on the ship. 

“Put the ship back on the ground, Dameron.” Thrax shouted through an amplifier. “Put it down and come out, and we might not shoot.” 

Poe did no such thing. “Shields.” It was all Kylo needed to focus. The switch was beside him, and the shields fizzled into life around the _Falcon_. Then Poe twisted around and called, “Hold on!” 

The blasters barely had a chance to impact as they flew out the hangar and into the night.

**

Poe hit lightspeed the moment they cleared the atmosphere. Speeding toward the place they’d only just escaped, but Poe’s eyes were full of fervour. 

“Won’t they track us?” A voice said from the doorway. 

Kylo stiffened as Finn settled in the seat behind him. It was no secret the ex-Stormtrooper despised him. In fact, he could feel the hatred rolling off the other man, and Kylo supposed it was Rey’s doing that Finn could even tolerate to be in the same room as him. 

“Count on it.” Poe said no more, and Kylo figured that’s why he had been sending a message only moments before. Or maybe not a message, Kylo considered as he watched the concentration on his friend’s face. Co-ordinates. To a dummy signal somewhere among the stars that would mask the trail of the _Falcon_. 

Kylo had to admit. It was smarter than anything he could have come up with. 

The cockpit was silent for a moment – Poe working the controls, Kylo drumming his fingers on his knee and occasionally interfering with Poe’s work, and Finn burning holes into the back of his head with a death stare. 

Eventually Kylo turned and met the ex-trooper’s gaze. “I know what you’re thinking. This is all my fault.” 

Finn bristled, scratching at the bandage on his arm. “Actually, I was thinking how much I’d like to shove you through the loading door.” 

“Then do it.” 

Kylo’s voice, his gaze, was so sincere that Finn’s jaw went slack. He arched an eyebrow, “Not willing to piss Rey off again, huh?” 

Finn’s eyes went wide. “How did you…” 

Kylo shrugged and tapped the side of his head. The string of gargled protests that came out of him was enough to make both Kylo and Poe laugh. 

“You walked right into that one.” Poe winked over his shoulder at the other man. 

But Kylo sobered. “What happened?” 

“Why don’t you look and see?” Finn sneered. 

“Because I’m not in the habit of digging in other people’s heads anymore.” 

Another stunned silence. Then, “I don’t know what it was. We were training in the Temple. I said some things,” A quick glance at Kylo, at the scar bisecting his face. “She got angry, and I knew I shouldn’t have said them, but I couldn’t help myself. Then there was this… energy that came out of her. It was like…” 

“Lightning.” 

They all turned as Luke entered the cockpit. His uncle’s expression was solemn, stare reaching far beyond the galaxy ahead of them. 

_Lightning._

Luke ignored the other two men, attention fixing straight on his nephew. “It was Force lightning.” 

Now it was Kylo’s turn to be stunned. _Force lightning_. He had only ever heard of such a thing, never seen it. Snoke told him the Emperor – Darth Sidious, his true name was – had possessed the ability. But no-one for centuries before. And no-one since. 

At the thought, the firestorm in his veins flared, collecting in his fingertips. At least he thought no-one since. 

Kylo had felt the darkness in Rey from the day they met. But it had been a mere shadow compared to the brilliant light inside her. From the look on his face, Luke had felt it too. And because they’d ignored it, Rey was in danger of losing that light altogether. 

“We have to find her.” 

Luke nodded, shifting to lean against the unoccupied back seat. As his robes moved, Kylo spied his uncle’s lightsaber hanging from his hip. “I only hope we can find her in time.” 

It was another hour before any of them spoke again. Their company had gathered in the common area to discuss exactly how this was going down. 

The process was foreign to Kylo. Usually he went with his instincts. 

_Look where that got you._

“So, how exactly do you propose we break into a highly secure First Order base?” Jayne asked. She and her fellow ex-troopers were leaning against the engineering stations across from where Kylo sat with his mother and uncle. 

Kylo, hands folded in front of him, glanced across at Finn and Poe in the main corridor. He jerked his chin at them. “They got into the Academy easily enough.” 

Jayne blinked in surprise. “How?” 

Poe shrugged. “Finn posed as a Stormtrooper and took me prisoner. Jess,” The pilot gestured to where Jessika sat cross-legged on the floor with BB-8. The small droid had not seemed phased by Kylo’s presence. Neither had R2 and C-3PO, who lingered by Luke. “Set off a few minor explosions to distract them, and Rey went to find the information we needed.” 

“That is until we got caught.” Finn said. He had his beloved jacket back on again, and Kylo suspected it was less because he was cold and more because he wanted to cover up the bandage. “They took Poe off me and handed him to Hux. Jessika and I only just escaped.” 

Jayne’s brow bunched together. “And Rey?” 

Kylo choked. And as he found the dirt and blood caking his fingernails suddenly captivating, everyone else shared knowing looks. 

Eyes widening in understanding, all she could say was, “Oh.” 

“But this isn’t the Academy.” The blond man Jayne had embraced stepped forward. “This is Korriban. The security is near impenetrable from the outside, and the Knights of Ren are there.” 

Or what was left of them. Five now. Still not the best odds, but Kylo didn’t say anything. The last thing they needed was to lose faith. 

“Then we do it again.” 

Everyone looked to Luke, surprised and waiting for elaboration. “You are all former Stormtroopers, correct? Then you put your uniforms back on. You can find us a safe way inside, and Ben…” The name from his uncle’s lips almost knocked the breath out of him again. “I assume you know the base well enough to find Rey.” 

Kylo merely nodded . 

Poe was scratching at the stubble on his chin when he spoke again. “It’ll still be difficult to get all of us through there. I mean, look at us.” He pointed at each of them. “Two fugitives. Three droids. A Wookiee. A Resistance pilot. The traitorous prodigal son. And the most famous twins in the galaxy!” 

“He’s got a point.” Jessika unfolded her legs and stretched back like a cat. 

Kylo couldn’t deny that. But… “The droids stay here.” 

“Excuse me!” If C-3PO had been able to, Kylo had no doubt the droid would have crossed his arms in a huff. “I can be of great use to you in such a facility…” 

R2-D2 beeped at his cohort, and Kylo fought back a grin at the string of curses for the other droid to shut up. 

“Threepio, you’re staying with the ship. You can be our escape route.” Leia said, exasperated. 

C-3PO was about to protest again, one golden arm raised, but he was cut off by another voice. An old, sardonic voice Kylo hadn’t heard for years. And one that made his stomach tumble. 

Emerging from the secondary corridor, eyes wide and smirk on her face, Maz Kanata said, “Maybe he can do some tidying up in here too.” 

C-3PO snorted, but said no more. Kylo couldn’t help but stare at Maz, and when she met his gaze, he almost shrank back from the intensity. 

How had she got on the ship? Hadn’t he seen everyone board? 

More to the point, what was she doing with the Resistance? 

Then he remembered what Rey had said on Arkanis. _'Maz told me everything.'_ Because neither his mother nor his uncle would have. 

“Still afraid of me then?” Maz fiddled with her goggles, tuning them to look closer. At the adult’s face, and the eyes that had seen too much. At the scar. At everything he’d become. 

It was true the pirate had made Kylo nervous when his father had taken him to see her. Though she had given him sweets that Han told him to hide from his mother, and taught him how to fix many a ship’s engine. 

“No.” He said, voice strong and steady, though he still squirmed under her gaze. He knew Maz didn’t judge him, or repent him for what he had done to Han. Rather, with the connection to the Force that she had, she understood him almost as much as Rey did. Which was what frightened him most. 

Maz huffed, waddling over to Chewie. “I was wondering when I’d get to see you again.” 

Chewbacca growled affectionately, squeezing her hand. Then Maz turned back to the rest of them. “Goldie and R2 will remain here, keep the engine hot. BB-8 can help us with the security codes once we’re inside.” 

C-3PO made to protest again, but Luke had flipped his switch before he could make a sound. 

“The troopers,” Maz gestured to Jayne. “Can keep the other patrols from our path. No-one will suspect a bunch of their own. But we won’t be entering from the same place.” 

“What do you mean?” Finn said, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“It’s like Dameron said. We’re too noticeable. So, we split up.” With Chewie’s help, Maz clambered onto the booth beside Kylo. “I will go with BB-8. Neither of us is large enough to be spotted easily. 

“Poe, you’ll go with Chewbacca here to unlock the flight codes that will immediately lock the base down. Assure our escape.” 

“But why…” 

“I know a few people in that quadrant. Not respectable, by any means, but trustworthy. They can lend us a few inconspicuous ships masquerading as First Order transporters, get the troops in easy. 

“Finn and Jessika, you’ll go with them. Split off once you’re inside and find the big one. Keep her from sending her minions after us.” 

Kylo didn’t have to ask to know who she meant. Phasma. If the captain was there, so were her elite. Meaning without her incapacitated, they would never make it to Snoke. And to Rey. 

Finn said nothing at the order, only looked at Poe. The emotion there was palpable. But none of them would be saying goodbye today, he’d make sure of it. 

Then Maz turned to him. She placed a warm hand on his arm. “Ben. Luke. Leia. You know what you have to do.” 

Yes, they did. They were the distraction, and the primary attack squad. They would fight their way in, fight their way to Rey down in the bowels of the base while the others worked. 

Leia took his hand. He nodded once at his mother, then his uncle. A silent message. 

No. None of them were saying goodbye. 

“Then let’s go.”

** 

Korriban remained a few hours out by the time everyone went to bed. 

Poe had left Chewbacca in the cockpit, opting to join Finn for what might be their last night together. Kylo wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that entailed, but he hoped they would make the most of it. Someone deserved to. 

Sleep eluded him, however. There were too many questions swimming in his mind, and somehow the silence in his mind was more deafening than any alarm. 

So, he remained in the common area, practicing movements with his lightsaber. With his eyes closed, the heavy hilt of the saber completely under his control, somehow he could pretend that none of it was real. That he would open his eyes, and there she would be, smiling and imitating every swing. 

But when he did, he was alone. His only companion being the whir of machinery. 

That was, at least, until he felt a presence behind him. 

“Shouldn’t you be getting some rest?” 

“Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that?” 

Kylo turned, finding Leia leant crossed-armed against the doorway. She offered him a small smile, though the gesture was far from feeling any joy. “I can’t sleep, either. Never could before a battle.” 

And she’d seen many of those. 

“I just keep thinking…” He met his mother’s eyes, his eyes. “What if she’s not…” 

“The same?” Leia moved into the room, slid into the booth. She still wore her general’s get-up: slim trousers, plain shirt and boots, with a thick vest and belt to holster her blaster pistol. Only she wore her hair down instead of in its usual braid. It made her look older, less in control of everything. He hated seeing his mother this way. 

She sighed. “I don’t think any of us are coming out of this the same.” 

Kylo nodded, though frustration was building within him. Why did his world, when he finally seemed to have a grasp on it, have to change? 

He clicked off his lightsaber and slumped onto the ground. “I should have done something.” 

“We all should have, son. I felt it in her just as much as you and Luke did, but like you, I never thought it would get like this.” 

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand.” He said, going over everything he knew one last time. There had been darkness in Rey from the start. It had grown with her power, with the pain and the anger within her. But it had dampened when they were together, because of the bond. Because of the Balance. It made sense she might have lost control when they were so far apart for so long. 

But there had to have been a trigger. 

“Why did she go to Jakku in the first place?” 

“Because she discovered who her parents were.” 

Both Kylo and Leia started at the sound of Luke’s voice. His uncle had always been good at sneaking up on people. 

But Kylo’s shock remained long after he knew Luke was there. The letter his mother had mentioned… From them? Had she killed those people because they’d withheld it from her? 

“Who?” He barely managed to ground out. 

Luke’s gaze met his, pain and regret glimmering there. He’d known. All this time, his uncle had known and not told her. 

Kylo gripped his lightsaber tighter. “You knew. Why didn’t you tell her?” 

“Ben…” His mother. A warning. Had she known too? 

When he saw the curiosity in her expression, he reckoned not. 

“Didn’t she deserve to know?” 

Fire blazed in Luke’s eyes, setting them alight with fury. “Now she does know, and look where it’s gotten her.” As quickly as the rage came, it dissipated and his uncle sagged against the wall. “I care for Rey like she is my own family. If I could have, I would have told her everything. I was just afraid that if she knew the truth, she would…” 

The ending to that sentence hung in the air like a noose. He could stare at it, refusing to accept his fate. Or hang himself with the notion that the Rey he knew was gone. 

He didn’t know which sounded worse. 

“Who were they?” 

“Leia, you knew her mother, Dosmit Raeh.” 

His mother’s jaw went slack. “Dosmit Raeh. _The_ Dosmit Raeh?” 

Kylo frowned. “Who was she?” 

It took her a few moments to find her words. “She was a pilot with the rebellion, fought at the Battle of Jakku. I knew her for a long time. You even met her a couple of times.” 

Kylo cast his mind back, searching for a woman who looked vaguely like Rey, but no-one came to mind. 

“She lived on Hosnian Prime in the years after, with her husband.” Leia met his eyes, and her hands began shaking. “And her daughter, Kira Raeh.” 

_Kira Raeh._

“And her father?” 

Luke, for the first time, couldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, Leia said with a shaky voice, “His name was Isaias Kenobi.” 

_Kenobi._ The name made his throat go dry. No wonder Obi-Wan had appeared to her. Kylo’s namesake was Rey’s grandfather. 

“Rey Kenobi.” Kylo tested it on his tongue. Once, twice, thrice. There was no other name that would, or could ever fit with hers. 

It made so much sense. Her untameable power. Her affinity for Jedi Mind Tricks. And why they were bound. Ben and Rey. Skywalker and Kenobi. 

Kylo didn’t have to ask why that would have unleashed the darkness within her. He’d seen in her mind that Obi-Wan had often watched her on Jakku. Rey would have felt abandoned, betrayed knowing her only family had done nothing to help her. 

But it begged the question, why hadn’t Anakin told him? A little heads-up would have been nice. 

And he said as much to the glowing figure that appeared ahead of them. 

Anakin had his hands folded in the brown sleeves of his robe. His blue eyes blazed with… rage? Guilt? A deadly mix of the two he recognised from his own soul. It set off the scar slicing through his eyebrow – funny how things came in circles. 

Luke nodded in greeting to his father, but Leia… Leia couldn’t even look at the man who sired her. Her gaze remained downcast, settled on where her hands were clasped to stop them from convulsing. 

It had been one of the greatest insults to his mother when he’d chosen to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps. No matter how much Luke told her of the light within Anakin, Leia had refused to accept it – just as he had, but for very different reasons. Kylo found he couldn’t blame his mother. Darth Vader had, after all, destroyed her home, tortured her and frozen her husband in carbonite. 

“Obi-Wan and I agreed that it was best not to tell her. Or you. It would have lead you away from the path.” 

Kylo chuckled, though the sound was hollow. “The path. That’s always what it comes down to, isn’t it? Destiny.” 

Anakin held his head a little higher. “Yes. The two of you were destined to bring the Balance. If Rey fell to the darkness, that Balance could not be reached.” 

_Could not be reached._ Did that mean… Could he not bring her back, as she had him? 

“If you’d told her earlier, perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.” Kylo growled. 

“Perhaps.” Anakin admitted with a shrug. “And I will spend my existence wondering what if. But now she is gone, and there is nothing to be done about it.” 

Kylo had to resist the urge to snarl at his grandfather. “Rey is _not_ gone.” 

“Ben…” Luke started, sorrow in his eyes. He didn’t really believe… 

“She’s not.” The energy beneath his skin roiled in response to the simmering anger bubbling inside. “Not everything in the galaxy is down to fate. We all have a choice. I made mine – Rey over Snoke. She is not gone. She still has that choice.” 

“If that is true, where is the bond?” 

Luke and Leia started, looking to him. Kylo merely stared, incredulous, but Anakin was right. Where was it? 

He reached out again, to where the bridge shone bright as adamant. To where he could feel her warmth, her light, no matter how dark he became. And to where there now gaped nothing but a chasm of emptiness. 

It was gone. The bond was gone. Snapped in the night, and he’d felt the agony, the sickness of losing part of himself to the void. But Anakin was speaking as if she were still alive. 

“Rey is alive.” Anakin nodded, and some of the tightness around his heart loosened. “Snoke broke her only link back to the light.” 

That should have been the final blow to shatter him. Instead, the weight lifted more. 

_Her only link back to the light._ But the bond had never been her link to the light. It had been her link to him, to a balance in both of them. 

No, that light had always been there. Radiant as the sun. 

Rey was not gone. Rey Kenobi, _his_ Rey Kenobi, was still very much alive. And he was going to bring her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's chapters are so fun to write. I just love exploring his head.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought :)


	35. Burn It To The Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo with a bit of Finn POV. The ending starts here ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot apologise enough for the delay! I have to thank you all so much for your patience and continued support. I love you all!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go to the artists.

They landed on a nearby moon. A barren dust-land really; habitable though Finn had to shield his eyes disembarking the _Falcon_. Now he understood why Rey had goggles for scavenging. 

Finn could barely understand what had happened to his best friend, but he knew the devastating hollowness in Ren’s eyes. In _Ben’s_ eyes. He was still working on that. 

Poe stood beside him. Finn longed to take his hand, to embrace him the way he should have done last night. He’d been too afraid, but there was no room for fear now that they were walking to their certain deaths. 

Before he could turn to the pilot, Poe moved forward to take Leia’s hand. The general, last bar her son to leave, gave him a grateful smile. 

“They should be here in a few minutes.” Maz said from where she perched on a rock, studying the blistering horizon. 

Maz’s wild card had sent word to meet them here. They wanted nothing to do with the battle – typical of black market smugglers, wanting only to protect their trade – but were happy to help. In exchange for an enormous number of credits. 

Maz and Leia had made up most of the price, but when they fell just short, Ren had silently offered his credit chip. And everyone’s jaws had gone slack when he announced how much was on there. 

“Are you sure about this, Kanata?” Luke asked, fingers constantly twitching towards his lightsaber. 

Maz turned her giant eyes on him, narrowed them in her menacing way and said, “Is the famous Luke Skywalker frightened of a few pirates?” 

A low rumble sounded beside him, and when Luke sent a scathing glare their way, Poe tried to hide his chuckling with a cough. 

“I have little doubt the plan will fail. But who’s to say this band of ‘pirates’ won’t double-cross us?” 

Maz nodded, then waved him off. “Trust me, Skywalker, I don’t trust this lot any more than you do. But if you have a better idea, I’m all ears.” 

Luke grumbled something to himself and leant against the boarding ramp. Just as the last member of their party disembarked. 

Everyone turned to stare at Ren. He still wore his black tunic, black trousers, black boots. But over that reminder of a past self, he wore an old dark brown leather jacket. Specifically, the old dark brown leather jacket his father had worn. 

Finn was speechless at the sight. At how the jacket not only fit him, but suited him. Beside him, Poe was looking – _really_ looking – at how that jacket suited him. Finn moved a tad closer to the other man, silently reminding him of his existence, and Poe jerked out of it. 

Maz stared with an approving grin, Luke with absolute shock, and Leia… 

Leia’s hands were over her mouth, tears brimming in her eyes. She walked towards her son. Slowly. Carefully, as if she’d seen a ghost. 

Ren took his mother’s outstretched hand, squeezed it and said something too quiet for them to hear. Leia nodded, patting her son’s cheek before composing herself. 

Luke clapped his nephew on the back, the first real show of affection Finn had witnessed between them. With Chewie’s approach, Finn was sure the Wookiee was going to strangle Ren. But Chewbacca pulled him into hug – a gesture to a long-lost friend. 

Ren couldn’t hide the astonishment coating his features when Chewie drew back, looking at him as if he weren’t just his best friend’s son, but his own too. 

Finn fought the growing warmth in his chest. Surely if Chewbacca could forgive Ren, give him the chance to prove he was worthy of forgiveness, then so could he. 

“Look lively.” Maz clapped twice, now atop the rock and bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

Finn followed the old alien’s gaze to where ripples of shadow had smudged the horizon. Moving closer and closer until Finn didn’t have to squint to make out the silhouette of transport ships. 

Within a matter of seconds, the vessels had landed, kicking up plumes of dust in their wake. The bodies of the ships were painted black, some with the First Order symbol emblazoned on their hulls for added flair. 

Maz gestured for them to hang back while she met with the leader. Whoever the masked figure was, he towered over Maz. All of them in fact, except perhaps Chewbacca, and he certainly didn’t speak Basic. Finn heard little more than a few clicks from the leader. Saw little more than a collection of gestures, none of which he could comprehend. 

After a few exchanges, Maz handed over the credit chip they’d compiled. The leader nodded gratefully, shook hands with Maz and was then on his way with a mishmash crew. R2-D2, who’d dutifully waited beside Luke, beeped his farewell as his master joined Ren and Leia in one ship. They’d decided it was too dangerous for the _Falcon_ to even enter Korriban air space, and so the droids would remain here. 

BB-8 did the same to Poe before rolling off after Maz. Then Chewie growled for Poe to follow him. The pilot gestured for them to go ahead before turning to Finn. 

“I’ll see you at the end of this, okay?” Poe clutched Finn’s shoulder. A simple, even playful gesture but his fingers dug in as if he were afraid to let go. Then he grinned. “Or on the other side.” 

Before he moved away, Finn grasped the pilot’s wrist. “Poe, if we don’t… I mean…” 

“Hey,” Poe moved his grip so their hands were clasped in front of them. “This isn’t goodbye.” 

“And what if it is?” 

Poe considered, dark eyes boring into his, and Finn suddenly felt very small. Just that gaze, the burning intensity of it, made heat flood his body. “Then I’ll regret never having done this.” 

The next moment Poe’s lips were on his. It was a gentle kiss, giving Finn plenty of room to move away, but Finn only grabbed onto the front of Poe’s flight suit. The kiss deepened – hotter, stronger until neither of them could pull away. 

It took a sharp cough from Jessika to separate them. Finn flushed in her direction, his cheeks flaring more at her smirk, but Poe pinched his chin and pulled him back. 

One kiss. Light and sweet. It was enough for Finn’s knees to weaken. 

Then he was gone. Finn watched as Poe Dameron, quite literally the man of his dreams, waved and disappeared from view. 

It took Finn a few moments to get his bearings, swaying slightly on his feet, before he followed Jessika and his fellow ex-troopers into the final transport.

**

Kylo waited. Five, ten, fifteen minutes after the others entered the Korriban atmosphere. The others needed to be down before he wreaked havoc upon the base. Otherwise the plan failed before it had even started. 

Then they were hurtling for the ground. Part of Kylo knew this was a foolish plan. That they’d never reach Rey, deep in the bowels of the base, if they had a thousand Stormtroopers _and_ his knights upon them. But oh, how he wanted to spill some First Order blood tonight. 

Luke was gripping the arms of the co-pilot seat, Leia holding tightly onto the backs of both. She was oddly silent. He’d expected some attempt at farewell, or motivational speech. Somehow her silence was more comforting. His mother readying for battle, the deadly calm slipping over her being steadied him more than anything she could have said. 

Kylo found himself wanting his mask – the thing he hated more than anything the galaxy could throw at him. It was more than a mask to hide his features, to instil fear in his enemies’ hearts. It was a guard to protect himself, to conceal any weaknesses others might use against him. 

He’d tried to use it against Rey. A barrier between them to sever any budding connection. The bond had terrified him back then. It showed him something he’d wished would stay buried. 

But Rey had burned through that mask as easily as she’d set his soul on fire. And now he would remain without the mask, without the shadow of who he used to be forever. For her. 

Kylo increased the thrusters, barrelling for the hangar he’d escaped from only days before. A voice buzzed over the communications. “This is control. Identify.” 

Kylo ignored the first command, and the second. By the third, he slammed his fist through the dashboard and tore the wires out. 

“Uh, Ben, I admire your statement but you could have considered the blaster cannons aimed at us.” Kylo followed Luke’s point to where two sets of blaster turrets set into the rock around the hangar were swivelling towards them. 

“Kriff.” He muttered and threw the shuttle beneath the first bolt. Then around the second. Beneath again, over, round until they were close enough. Not to shoot back, there wasn’t time, but to shatter through the hangar, taking rock and machinery with them. 

All power in the shuttle cut out the moment they made impact. Leia jolted forward, stopped from going through the glass only by Kylo and Luke’s arms. In the next moment, they were up, ready and waiting for those troopers to bust down the door and slaughter them. _They’re not getting the chance._

One swift move had Kylo’s lightsaber crackling at his side. The sound called to the well of darkness deep inside his chest like a siren song. The shadows trickled through his veins, its energy sizzling across his skin. He longed to let it out, but not yet. _Not yet._

They charged out of the shuttle into thick clouds of smoke cloying the air. Alarms were blaring, and it took Kylo a moment to get his bearings. Through the smokescreen ahead, Kylo could just make out the shape of Stormtrooper uniforms. 

The first to appear was clearly young and untrained because his blaster wasn’t even loaded. Kylo flicked his wrist, and the trooper flew back and cracked his head on the metal wall. The rest weren’t quite as foolish and remained behind what cover they had. 

Their blaster bolts shot through the mist, curving toward them at deadly speeds. Kylo raised his lightsaber to meet them, sending them back and listening for the cries of fallen troopers. 

He stormed forward, deflecting bolts or searing scratches through metal. They were braver than he expected, yet he cut them down no harder than before. His mother and uncle were close behind. Luke mirrored his own movements, while Leia proved she’d never lost her skill with a blaster pistol. 

They had to make it to the first checkpoint. Kylo and Poe had been lucky that night. Kylo had known the codes then; no doubt they’d been changed now. 

The Stormtroopers kept flooding into the hangar. Without a distraction to draw them off, they were never getting out of there. 

Kylo wasn’t as nimble or lithe as Rey. He couldn’t arc through the air to land in the middle of the fray, or spin as swiftly to parry the next blow. But he was stronger, like colliding with a brick wall, and he barrelled into lines upon lines of Stormtroopers, leaving a mass of bodies in his wake. 

Leia hung back, keeping close to the wall and the machinery offering her cover, and clearing the way for him to plough through. Luke wavered only a few paces behind, picking off those Kylo missed. They worked together easily, efficiently, without having to say a word. Almost like the three of them had a bond of their own. 

Then, as they neared the passageway he and Poe had taken, one of the Stormtroopers paused and dropped their blaster. Kylo faltered. Why wasn’t he attacking? 

As if in answer, the trooper unlatched his helmet and revealed a face that didn’t belong to a _he_ at all. 

“Jayne.” Kylo lowered his lightsaber. 

She smiled, wiping at the sweat beading on her dark skin, and motioned behind her to the rest of her squad. “Finn and Jess found Phasma. They’re trailing her right now.” 

Jayne handed him a commlink, and Finn’s voice buzzed through, “She’s heading to the main control room.” 

“Lock her in if you have to.” Kylo told him. If Phasma hadn’t heard the alarm, it wouldn’t be long until she did. 

“Copy that.” 

When Kylo tried to hand the commlink back to Jayne, she batted his hand away. “You might need it.” 

The two of them took the front, his mother and uncle between them with the other troopers bringing up the rear. They made it down the passageway without attack, through the hallways and several levels into the earth as if they were on a casual stroll. Something was wrong. 

Stormtroopers should have been surrounding them. His knights should have arrived, Phasma, Hux even – all to try and stop them reaching Snoke. And Rey. But there was nothing, and it set his nerves on edge. 

It was too easy. Something in his gut told him they should stop, figure out a plan. But every second they wasted was another inch Rey slipped further from his reach. 

“Ben.” Luke took hold of his jacket when he made to turn another corner. “Something’s not right.” 

Kylo had to refrain from rolling his eyes. Talk about stating the obvious. “We have to get down there, regardless.” The longer he stalled, the sicker the gaping abyss inside made him. 

“ _Ben_.” Luke warned, but Kylo ignored him. He motioned Jayne with a jerk of his head and they hurried down the hallway, Luke grumbling to his mother behind them. Kylo could have sworn he heard Leia tell her brother to shut up and he grinned. 

Down they went, the odd trooper or officer running into their path with panicked eyes and upraised hands. If Jayne didn’t shoot them down, Kylo struck them with his saber and they continued. 

They passed checkpoint after checkpoint, the commlink humming with Maz’s voice and BB-8’s bleeps telling them to carry on. The two made an effective team it seemed, since they were already working on the next set of codes by the time they reached a security door. 

Eventually, the commlink buzzed again. “Re – Ben, we have Phasma.” 

Kylo tried to ignore the effort Finn made, but he couldn’t help smirking. “Good work. Keep her secure.” 

“Actually, we’re coming to you. Turns out some of the troopers under her lash aren’t too pleased with her.” 

Kylo recalled the revolts on Arkanis, what Leia had told him about her meeting with Jayne. The troopers were finally turning on those who abused them. 

“Us too.” Poe’s voice crackled through the commlink. “The flight codes are good to go.” 

A growl. Chewie informing them no-one was getting to the access point either. Perfect. Though it didn’t make him feel any less uneasy. Even if most of the Stormtroopers had turned against the First Order, that didn’t explain why his knights weren’t hounding them. 

They proceeded with caution, every step, every movement calculated. He listened hard before turning each corner or slipping through each door, lest an assailant be on the other side waiting for him to make a fatal mistake. 

They encountered no-one. And Kylo finally paused before the last checkpoint. 

“Maz, do you have the security codes?” Static answered him. “Maz?” 

Kylo exchanged a panicked look with his mother. They were so close now. He could feel Snoke’s presence through the walls. 

“Ben… we… the…” The commlink sputtered, but then Maz’s voice rang true. “They’ve found us.” 

In the background, Kylo heard shouts, screams of pain and… A lightsaber. The unmistakeable sound that accompanied him now and wherever he went. How had his knights gotten hold of a _lightsaber_? 

The air was punched out of him at the thought of Maz impaled on one, of BB-8’s circuits lying frazzled on the ground. “Maz?” He managed to choke out. 

Only war cries answered him. Cries of the dead. 

He dropped the commlink, defeated. No, there was no time for that. Every moment he could feel the chasm growing wider. _No time._

He had to get in there. He _would_ get in there. Kriff the risks. 

Kylo slashed out with his lightsaber, the blade carving clean through the door. Wires sparked, scorching his hands, but he didn’t stop. Luke ignited his own saber and joined him. Footsteps pounded behind them, matching his thundering heartbeat. Just a few more seconds. 

“Get back!” Kylo bristled at the order, prepared to turn on the offending officer. But he recognised the voice that repeated the command. 

Luke pulled him to the side as Jayne and the troopers lined up with Finn, Jessika and Poe to blast the door into oblivion. Smoke curled and lights flickered where the machinery had been torn apart. As the door collapsed in on itself. 

Kylo stepped forward. 

“Proceed.” A sharp, booming voice made him pause. A voice he would hear in his darkest nightmares for the rest of his life. 

And one that almost made him fall to his knees. “Yes, master.” 

The smoke cleared in the giant hollow chamber. Snoke was seated on his throne. Hux, the rest of his knights and companies of Stormtroopers lined the room. In the centre, a man in shackles with fear radiating through his body, knelt before… 

“Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully the next chapter will be here much sooner!
> 
> Let me know what you thought :)


	36. See What I've Become

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance...
> 
> I cried writing this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued for support as usual!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

Kylo stared in horror as Rey turned toward him. The man on his knees flinched away from the end of her lightsaber, passing too close to his face for comfort. But Kylo’s attention was wholly fixed on the woman he loved. 

The sight was terrifying. Her skin was sallow, purple stains smearing under her eyelids as if she hadn’t slept in days. But her body radiated with dark energy, the kind that made even Kylo’s power curl in on itself. And her eyes… 

By the Maker, her _eyes_. They glowed golden like the core of a dying sun, and they were ringed in blister-burn red. 

It was all Kylo could do not to lunge for Snoke right then. What he’d done to her… 

A hand clamped on his arm. Leia’s firm fingers holding him steady lest he rush forward without thinking. Or collapse all together. 

But Kylo _was_ thinking. He knew exactly what he had to do, even if it killed him. 

He shrugged off his mother’s touch, twirling his lightsaber as he stepped into the chamber. The yellow in her eyes sparkled at the challenge. 

They’d done this before. As enemies. For their lives as Starkiller Base crumbled beneath them. 

Kylo tried to cast his mind back. To see her as an adversary, a target he had to exterminate. It was the only way he could bring himself to attack her. 

He moved forward slowly, the only sound the hum of their sabers and the loading of blasters. Both behind him and ahead. None of them shot. It seemed even his friends wanted to see this play out. 

Rey watched him like a predator watches its next meal. A malicious grin twisted her mouth, chilling him to his bones. Still she didn’t approach. 

Kylo wanted to believe there was still a part of her, the old her, screaming inside and holding herself back. And he did for a moment, until she spun and brought her saber down upon the man, slicing clean through his throat. 

His head thumped to the floor, blood spraying across the black tile and Rey’s clothes. Kylo almost stumbled back, sickness curling around his core. She turned back to him, cocked her head. 

Kylo paused. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t fight her. Let her kill him. It was the least he deserved after what he’d done to her. 

“Rey…” 

She looked at him as if she’d never heard the name before. 

“Traitor.” She hissed, the once beautiful voice no longer hers. Kylo sensed the others moving behind him, carefully planning their movements so they didn’t hurt her. But he threw out a hand to halt them. 

“ _Ben_ …” Leia. Kylo didn’t dare take his eyes off Rey to glance at his mother, but he could sense her fear from here. She’d lost her husband – was she about to lose her son too? “Ben, I…” 

Something flickered. A flash of recognition in Rey’s face. A spot of hazel breaking through the gold. 

Kylo stretched his fingers towards her. “My name is Ben Solo.” 

A slight tremor in her hands but he caught it, and he smiled. “My name is Ben Solo. My parents are Han Solo and General Leia Organa. My uncle’s name is Luke Skywalker. He was your master.” 

Then Rey’s eyes squeezed shut. He couldn’t feel the agony racking through her brain, but he knew it too well. And he felt it in his heart, watching more of her die right before him. 

Snoke’s fist was clenched. How much power did he have to use to keep her on his leash? “She has another master now.” 

Rey’s eyes fixed on him. Gone. She was too far gone. 

He barely had time to block as she lunged. 

Blue met red in a furious spark of colour. Again and again as she attacked. Kylo parried each blow, but she was stronger, faster than the last time they’d fought. And now she was out to kill. 

She whirled, the two ends of her lightsaber crackling with her wrath. Rey brought one end down in a sweeping arc, aiming for his neck. He scarcely spun away. Growling, she leapt away from his next swing and circled him. 

Far in the distance, he heard Snoke say, “Restrain them. I want to watch this.” 

Behind him, the sounds of struggle. Stormtroopers surrounding his mother, his uncle, his friends. It wouldn’t take long for them to break free, but part of him longed to turn back. 

“Do you think you can win this?” She snarled. “There will be no victory here. Only death.” 

“There is never victory in war, Rey. But there can be redemption.” 

She sneered at him, twirling her saber. “You know nothing of war.” 

“Perhaps not.” Kylo stared her down, willed her to see him. “But I know you.” 

Rey leapt, up over his head, arching effortlessly over his head and landed behind him. She tried to deliver a blow to his spine. The same one he’d given Finn. 

He twisted in time to catch the attack and shove her back. She still remembered that day. Still remembered his moves, everything he’d taught her. And she still fought like she always had. With such passion and fury that she ignited like a star. 

His Rey really was still in there. 

Kylo smirked at her, the same smirk he knew had made her heart flutter. “You’re going to have to do better than that, sweetheart.” 

The flicker. But she bared her teeth and launched herself at him again. Her lightsaber flew up, dangerously close to reopening the scar. Except he caught its hilt. Her staff. 

She tried to fight out of his grip but he held tight. “Look at this.” 

Her gaze reluctantly moved to her staff and some of the colour drained out of her face. 

“My name is Ben Solo.” He tried. “Not Kylo Ren. _Ben_. You reminded me of that.” 

Her mouth opened in surprise and when her stare met his, the world dropped away. An echo pulsed in his chest. It was returning. 

“My parents are Han Solo and General Leia Organa. My uncle’s name is Luke Skywalker. He was your mentor.” 

There. A familiar resonance within him. Pain, throbbing through her. Into him. 

“Finn. Your best friend. He’s right over there fighting for you.” 

And he was. The Stormtroopers were going down one by one. 

“Remember me, Rey.” 

Another lightsaber ignited. His, Rey’s, Luke’s and… 

Kylo glanced over Rey’s shoulder to see a bolt of blue light, spinning through the air. It moved too quickly for him to see, until the wielder shot down and landed on booted feet. Large eyes looked out at him and a coy smile shot his way. 

“Maz.” 

Rey’s head snapped around to see the old alien chopping her way through ranks of troopers as if they were stalks of wheat. He didn’t notice her turn back and calculate her advantage. She pulled out of his grip, clicked her saber off and swept his feet from under him. 

Kylo’s skull cracked against the tile, sending stars shooting across his vision. He tried to push up, and was met with a flare of blue. _Kriff._

“Kill him.” Snoke’s booming voice was eerily calm. Bastard. “Kill him, and take his place.” 

Kylo should have prepared himself for the blow, since his lightsaber had slipped from his grasp. Instead he looked around the saber in his face to her. “If this is my end, I am certainly glad your face is the last I will see.” 

Rey’s grip tightened on her staff-saber, yet her arms trembled. He felt it. The indecision. The agony of what she was about to do. And he could have sworn he saw tears lining her eyes. 

She turned away, squeezing her eyes shut. 

“Rey, look at me.” She shook her head furiously. She was fighting it. Whether she was fighting Snoke or herself, though, he was unsure. “Look at me. _Please_.” 

“Rey.” The other voice startled her out of it. The rage returned to her face as she twisted towards Luke. His uncle approached, putting out his lightsaber. 

“Luke, don’t.” Kylo managed to choke, panic filling his chest. His uncle might not have seen it, but Kylo knew that look in Rey’s eyes. 

Her hand shot out and Luke’s eyes went wide. His hands went to his throat, clawing at the invisible clamp. By the Maker… 

Kylo shot to his feet, grabbed his lightsaber. But he was too late. 

Rey made for her former master, weapon blazing in her hand. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t stop her. 

Rey shoved her lightsaber through Luke’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I evil? I think I am ;) Next chapter is nearly ready to go, so it won't be long!
> 
> Let me know what you thought :)


	37. The Hammer's Comin' Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cried writing this one too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as usual!
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

The cage burst. Light flooded through veins, nerves, bones. Fire blazing on and on. 

Silence rang in her ears, her vision drowning with blue – the weapon in her grip, and the fading glow in his eyes. 

Her limbs shook, tears streaming down her face. Her heart shattered as her soul was choked in black smoke. Everything within her just snapped. 

What had she done? 

Screams filled her ears. Anguished cries from one who’d already lost too much. And shouts from a voice who’d never stopped calling for her. 

She knew them. Leia. Finn. Their names. She remembered their names. 

“Good work, my apprentice.” That noise. That thunder of a voice inside her head, ripping her apart. “Now we can rule the galaxy together.” 

The beast inside her, its hide coated in blood, writhed. Oh, how it liked that idea. It wanted more. More blood. More death. More pain. 

She pulled her lightsaber from the body and it slumped to the ground. Then she turned. And for the first time, she saw him. 

She recognised his face. His grief-stricken eyes, his halo of dark hair. His full lips and his brutal scar. She recognised the lightsaber in his hand, and the jacket on his body. 

She recognised the pulse within her, calling to him. 

As she moved forward, his saber dropped to the ground. 

“Go ahead.” Broken. This man was broken in ways she couldn’t comprehend. 

Her knees threatened to buckle under the strain. Under the loss, the guilt she didn’t truly feel. 

“Finish him.” The cruel thunder said again. “Finish them all.” 

Her fingers trembled. She glanced down at her own saber, at the instrument of death she held so close. And caught her reflection in the tiled floor. 

Hazel eyes looked back at her. 

“Ben Solo.” Her voice was small. Hoarse and burning, but the name was soft in her mouth. 

His eyes widened in shock. When their gazes met, the chamber, the thunder, the screams dissolved into nothing. There was nothing but them. And the bridge between their minds. 

“Your name is Ben Solo.” She repeated. Images flashed in her head. Forgotten moments. Moments of happiness, of love. 

A desert. A little girl all alone. Then a droid and a grand adventure. 

A man in a mask. A horrifying thing, but underneath the face was gentle. 

A planet with a palace, where she leapt into the water. Where he followed her. 

A dream of a forgotten time, when their lives finally collided. Then a beautiful city, dancing, Starfruit, Dejarik. The Academy, where there was nothing between them. No secrets. No lies. 

“Your name is Ben Solo.” She swallowed. “You love me.” 

He stepped forward, placing hands on either side of her face. “I do.” 

“Your parents are Han Solo and General Leia Organa. My best friend is Finn. He’s here fighting.” 

He nodded, wiping tears from her cheeks. 

“Your uncle’s name…” She squeezed her eyes shut. No. Her voice hitched as she said, “Your uncle’s name is Luke Skywalker. He was my master. And I killed him.” 

Her legs gave way. Knees slammed to the ground, a scream ringing in her ears. _Killed him._ She’d killed him. 

The man – Ben – sank before her, made her look at him. Made her see the pain in his eyes, and the understanding. He knew this feeling. “Let it in.” 

“How?” 

He looked her dead in the eye. “Your name is Kira Raeh Kenobi. Your parents were Dosmit Raeh and Isais Kenobi. They died to protect you.” 

A sob rose in her throat. She remembered. 

“You are the last descendant of the Kenobi line. You fight for what is right, as your grandfather did. As Luke did.” She grabbed onto his jacket. Her lifeline, as he had always been. 

“You fight for who you are. You fought for me when I didn’t deserve it. You were my salvation. Now it’s my turn. Rey…” He smoothed the hair, the sweat, the tears back from her face and she noticed the tears in his eyes. “Rey, come back to me.” 

_Rey._ The name that had gotten her through years of torture and suffering. The name that still lived in the core of her being. She was the scavenger. The Jedi. The prodigy. And the Kenobi. 

She was better than those who tried to leash her, who tried to destroy her. She was stronger than any of them realised. 

“Let it in, Rey.” He said again, and this time other voices started to join him. 

Anakin’s, a hand of strength. Obi-Wan’s, promising her new beginnings. 

And… 

“This is your destiny, Rey.” 

_Luke._ Offering her one last piece of guidance. 

So, she closed her eyes. And let it all in. 

**

Snoke watched from his throne as the scene unfolded. His apprentice, his greatest weapon – as weak as Ren. 

He could never have destroyed their bond. No-one was powerful enough to do that. But he’d thought if he could bury it deep enough, break her spirit far enough, it wouldn’t matter. 

He’d been wrong. 

The Supreme Leader watched as the two of them rose together. Not a word was spoken. Only a look. Only a touch. Then, as they turned towards him, for the first time in his life, Snoke was afraid.

**

Rey opened her eyes. And her world was filled with light. Pure, unending, beautiful light. 

It shone from them both. And with it came dark energy, pulsing through their veins. All of it. The Dark. The Light. The Balance. 

But she could focus on only one thing. 

Before she could turn her head, Kylo gripped her chin. His eyes were shining with remorse, but there was something underneath. A deadly calm. 

“Don’t look. Not yet.” Then, through the pain and anguish, through every shard of their broken hearts, he grinned. “We still have something to do.” 

_Snoke._

Rey looked down. To their hands. To the lightning snapping between their fingers. She met his eyes. This was her destiny. 

As one, they turned towards it. 

Snoke threw a mangled hand forward and a wall of black marched towards them. Officers, Kylo’s knights and… Hux. 

The redhead led the charge, pointing his blaster pistol at them. He fired. Rey deflected a bolt just as Kylo sidestepped another. The officers ran right past them into the fray of fighters Kylo had brought with him. 

But as the knights made to do the same, Rey flicked her wrist and sent bolts of crackling energy towards them. 

Rey bared her teeth at the sight of their frazzled corpses. Then at the rest on Hux’s other side, convulsing as Kylo sent his lightning flying into their bodies. 

Hux’s eyes were wide with fear as they turned back to him, the blaster shaking in his hand. He knew what was about to happen. 

The redhead tried to run, but they held him still, suspended in the air. Kylo smirked at her, adrenaline pumping down the bond. It was intoxicating. They were unstoppable. Like gods of death. They didn’t need to rule the galaxy. They already owned it. 

“Would you like to do the honours?” Kylo gestured at Hux. Rey grinned and shot into the air, twisting to bring her saber down upon the general. Hux fell to the ground with a lifeless thump. 

It was almost too simple. But Maker was it fun. 

Then they made for Snoke, who sneered and sent them flying back into the far wall. Rey’s skull hit the metal hard, sending stars shooting across her vision. She shook them away as she landed in a crouch on the floor. She wasn’t defeated that easy. 

Beside her, Kylo bounded to his feet, nodding once toward her. But they would have to fight through the fray to get to Snoke again. 

A Stormtrooper charged at her. She smirked and sliced her lightsaber through his abdomen, leaving him in two pieces. 

Finn caught her eye as she took out two more. Her heart stilled, waiting for the condemnation in his eyes. The fear. But her best friend smiled at her. He knew. Thank the Maker, he finally knew. 

She inclined her head to him, spinning as she sensed another assailant at her back. Poe flashed her a grin as he ran past, calling, “It’s nice to have you back!” And Maz, wielding her old saber like a pro, winked as she passed. 

Rey and Kylo broke through the lines of Stormtroopers, careful not to attack those who had turned on the First Order. Until Rey noticed Leia, hair half ripped from her braid and anger marring her normally serene features. Sickness churned in her stomach. How would she ever look at the general again? 

No. No time for that. She felt Kylo calming her down the bond, reminding her the real enemy right now was not inside. It was ahead. 

As the final troopers fell, neither of them had to signal or say a word. The others fell in behind them. And Rey could have sworn Snoke’s eyes went wide with terror. Real, pure, true terror. 

She felt it in her bones. He deserved this. He should be afraid. He’d tortured her, tortured Kylo. He’d taken everything from them. Except each other. 

“Don’t you see?” Snoke snarled. “It was your destiny. To join me. To rule the galaxy.” He glanced from her to Kylo and back again. “But you’re weak. It defeats you.” 

Rey stopped halfway to him. Silently, she held a hand out. Finn walked forward and took it. She gripped it tight, threading their fingers together. Then Poe took his other hand. Beside her, Kylo took his mother’s hand, who took Chewie’s. Maz, Jessika, the troopers until they all wove together like a chain. All except two. 

Rey met Kylo’s gaze. Then she closed her eyes, felt the bond thrumming with energy, burning brighter with every second. 

When she opened them, she found his face full of determination. More than that, full of hope. And that was all they needed. 

“It is not weakness.” She said, her voice ringing clear. She didn’t take her eyes off Kylo as she spoke. “It is not weakness to love, and it is not weakness to find strength in others. 

“It is not weakness to make mistakes.” Kylo sent a pulse of comfort down the bond as tears pricked in her eyes. “And it is not weakness to accept the darkness, or the light. For they are one and the same. And they are a part of everything.” 

Then she turned to Snoke. “But it is weakness to manipulate others into doing your bidding. It is weakness to corrupt good souls and bring the galaxy to its knees. It is weakness to kill innocent people, leaving young children alone and afraid. 

“You did that to me.” Rey growled, letting the simmering fire build through her veins, begging for release. “You killed my parents. You destroyed everything I was. Now you will know what it feels like.” 

Kylo grasped her hand and the power exploded. It blazed through the chamber, through every surface and every bone. It struck Snoke square in the chest, sending him flying backward, convulsing with the energy surging through him. And it didn’t stop. 

The lightning fried his skin, sending it black and red raw. Blood spurted from his nostrils, his mouth, his eyes. His feeble attempts at fighting back were lost in the wake of the storm they wreaked upon him. 

Snoke dropped to the floor as the energy dissipated. His body writhed in pain. Still alive, barely. 

Rey let go of Finn’s hand, igniting her lightsaber as she and Kylo moved forward. This was their fight. It was their right to end this. 

Rey flew forward, sprinting with everything she had. Snoke struggled up on dying limbs and lit a lightsaber of his own. A single flare of red that clearly hadn’t been used in years. And one that was knocked out of his hand the moment she reached him. 

Her lightsaber clicked off and she drove the end of it into his face, hearing the distinct crack of bone. The scavenger in her, the orphan in her wanted this to be hers. What better way to grant her that was there but her staff? 

She whirled and threw the other end into his chin, knocking him back into his throne. Snoke held up a scorched hand to stop her, and she sneered, “Pathetic.” 

He spat blood at her feet and, Maker damn him, he grinned at her through bloody teeth. “You’re not going to kill me.” 

But Rey smiled back. “No.” Her eyes flicked behind him. “But he is.” 

Red swung. Severing flesh from flesh, bone from bone. Separating head from neck, and Snoke’s unblinking eyes came to rest on them as his body slumped to the ground. 

But she wasn’t watching him. Her gaze was entirely riveted on Kylo. And his on her. 

She watched the weight lift from his shoulders, watched him take a shuddering breath. Then step over the corpse and take her face in his hands. 

Kylo’s lips were soft, warm, and so familiar Rey wanted to cry. She kissed him harder, grabbing onto to him for dear life. And as he pulled away, he whispered onto her mouth, “We’re free.” 

_Free._ She’d almost forgotten what the word meant. 

After everything they’d been through, after everything they’d fought for, they were finally free. Rey breathed a sigh of relief so deep her knees threatened to collapse. 

But Kylo held on. This was it. It was them and nothing else. Them against the galaxy. Forever. 

Only… 

Rey turned as she heard the footsteps behind her. Not approaching them, but the body she’d left on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was worth it! Let me know what you thought :) 
> 
> Can't believe we're nearly done now!


	38. When It's All Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple little surprises in this one :)
> 
> Can you guys believe we're only five weeks away from The Last Jedi?! So excited right now!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your love and support and wonderful comments! You guys are amazing <3333 
> 
> There is no copyright infringement intended with this work. It's just for fun. None of the characters or settings are my own. All rights go to Lucasfilm.
> 
> All of my chapters are named after songs. Again, no copyright infringement intended. All rights go the the artists.

He was dead. Her brother was dead. 

Leia Organa. Solo. Skywalker. Whatever her name was now. She didn’t care. It didn’t matter. She’d lost everything. 

She watched her son strike Snoke down. The creature that had taken her world from her. And yet she felt hollow. 

Ben didn’t hesitate. He stepped over Snoke’s body to kiss Rey. How could he kiss her, after all she’d done? 

Part of Leia, the vengeful princess that she kept deep in the recesses of her mind, wanted to rip the girl apart. But she was just a girl. She made mistakes, just as Leia herself had. And the anguish she’d seen in Rey’s eyes… That wasn’t feigned. 

Leia instead sank to her knees beside Luke’s body. He was still breathing, shallowly, blood trickling from his mouth. “Leia.” He choked, blue eyes settling on her. 

Tears streamed down her cheeks. How could it be, that she was losing him as well? She grasped his hand, entwining their fingers together. 

She knew better than to say it was going to be alright. She knew better than to try and stop the bleeding. Luke was as good as gone. 

“Leia, you have to…” 

She squeezed his hand, leaning in closer. “What?” 

“You have to…” Luke coughed, red spurting from his lips. “To let me go. This was for the best.” 

A strangled sob caught in Leia’s throat. “How can you say that?” 

“It was… it was destiny.” 

She was about to ask when suddenly she understood. Luke had done it for Rey. He’d known the only way to bring her back was to shatter her heart, for her to lose someone close to her. That the light in her, the part that loved so dearly, was stronger than the darkness. He just had to break through. 

It hit her then that he had done it for Ben too. Her son would have let Rey kill him. There would have been no coming back from that. For any of them. 

Leia leant forward as Luke took his last breath. “Thank you, brother.” 

Then he slipped away.

**

“No, no, no…” Rey was screaming as she ran. Sobbing as she crashed down, pressing two hands to the wound in Luke’s abdomen. “Please. Please don’t leave me.” 

“Rey.” Kylo said quietly behind her. 

She ignored him. Luke couldn’t be gone. He _couldn’t_ be. 

Her vision blurred as more tears broke free, but she found Leia clearly through the chaos. The general wasn’t angry. Why wasn’t she angry? Why wasn’t she screaming, shaking her, trying to choke the life out of her? She deserved it. 

But all Rey saw in Leia’s eyes was understanding. And that was so much worse. 

She couldn’t have done this. Maker, how could she have done this? 

“Rey.” Kylo said again, placing a hand on her back. She just shoved him off as she shook Luke’s lifeless body. “Rey, he’s gone.” 

“No, he’s not. He’s _not_.” 

But he was. Luke was dead. Another scream racked through her body. 

Kylo grabbed her this time, pulling her away from Luke’s body. She didn’t fight him, letting herself collapse against his chest as the tears streamed down her face. 

Kylo buried his face in her hair, his own tears wetting the top of her head, as he rocked them back and forth. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Rey was lost so far in her sorrow that she didn’t notice Kylo wave his hand beside her head, only the release of sleep as it consumed her in its void.

**

Kylo had no qualms about carrying Rey back to the ship. She lay unconscious in his arms, crying silently into his jacket, and though there was a hollowness in his chest, Kylo couldn’t bring himself to regret anything. She was here. She was back. Luke had given him that, and that was a debt he would never be able to repay. 

Chewie was carrying Luke’s body. They intended to give him the most honourable of funerals. It was the least he deserved. 

Leia walked beside Kylo, chin high and deliberately not looking any way but ahead. His mother may not have been the most forgiving type, but he had seen the look in her eyes as Rey sobbed over his uncle’s body. She understood what her brother had done, and would in time come to forgive Rey for it. 

The others wandered ahead of them, gravely silent until they emerged from the hangar they’d destroyed getting inside. Sat not twenty yards from the entrance, on a rock outcropping, was the _Falcon_. Maz had called R2 to start the ship’s engines the moment they left Snoke’s throne room, starting the pre-planned flight path they’d entered before they left. 

C-3PO came bumbling down the boarding ramp, joyful as ever, “Ah, you’re back! How good to see you all in one piece. Wasn’t I saying, R2, that they’d all be just…” 

The droid almost short-circuited as Chewie stepped forward. He looked to his former master, then to Leia, then to Kylo and Rey in his arms. To his surprise, the droid said nothing more, merely turned and waddled back into the ship. There was a hushed word, and a frantic beep, then nothing. 

It seemed the general consensus was to say nothing until they absolutely had to. 

They let Chewie board first, watched the Wookiee head towards to the cabins, before they followed. Poe threw off his jacket, leaving it discarded in the corridor before throwing himself in the cockpit seat. Kylo glimpsed him kicking something metallic beneath the console as he passed. 

Finn, unlike what he’d expected, didn’t join Poe in the cockpit. Instead he followed Kylo and Leia into the common area, the others having dispersed elsewhere in the ship. The ex-trooper sank to the floor against the engineering station, and stared at some point across the room, gaze never seeming to focus. 

Kylo settled on the booth, folding Rey’s legs over his and her body against his side. She was shaking in her sleep, whimpering against him. Every few seconds, her nails would dig into his chest, clawing at him. 

She didn’t last an hour before she woke up screaming. 

Rey shoved him away, frantically tearing at her scalp like she’d done once before. Kylo gently took hold of her wrists. “He’s gone, Rey. It’s okay. Snoke’s gone.” 

His voice was barely more than a whisper, but she heard him and her fingers, instead of trying to scratch her brains out, clung to him instead. Kylo pulled her into his arms, sending calming waves down the bond. “I’m here.” 

“I’m sorry.” She said into his shoulder. Again and again, trembling harder now. 

She fell into another fitful sleep, and Kylo couldn’t help glancing at his mother. Leia was watching them carefully, a soft caution in her brown eyes that he recognised from his childhood. It was the same look she’d given him when he’d awoken from nightmares in the dead of night. 

His mother met his gaze, as if she were remembering too. Then he opened his mouth. Only not to speak, but to sing. 

The words were quiet at first, barely audible to anyone but the woman in his arms, and they flowed as easily as they had all those years ago. He didn’t have quite the same lilt to his voice that his mother had, but it seemed to soothe her nonetheless. 

It was an ancient song, Leia had told him. One her mother had sung to her, and likewise back through the generations. A lyrical tale of two stars that fell in love, but their love burned too bright. A mournful lullaby, and one that Kylo felt deep in his bones. 

As he started on the second verse, he raised his voice slightly. Leia jolted at the words, watching him with shock, until silent tears started to fall from her eyes. Saying nothing, she crossed the room and sat on Rey’s other side. His mother brushed back a strand of her hair, sorrow never leaving her expression though she smiled, and joined him in song. 

They sang together until their voices had beckoned their entire party to the common area. Poe sank down beside Finn, Chewie on his other side. Jess, the troopers and the droids lingered in both doorways, and Maz had clambered up beside Leia to take her hand. The old alien knew the lullaby, Kylo was sure, but she didn’t join in. 

By the last verse, Kylo was looking only at Rey, her face finally peaceful and her breathing finally even. Neither of them were perfect. Neither of them were lacking in things that would haunt them for the rest of their lives. But she had pulled him out of the darkness, and now he would do the same for her. 

Together, they would get through this. 

Only a glimmer of blue in the corner of his eye made him tear his gaze away from her. While the others gasped, neither he nor his mother stopped singing. In the shadowed alcove beside the cargo transfer hatches, three Force ghosts had appeared. Anakin Skywalker had his arms folded, smirking at him as if to say, _I told you so_. Obi-Wan Kenobi’s gaze was riveted on Rey, warm and loving. And between them Master Yoda had appeared, nodding approvingly towards them. “Balance in the Force, there is.” 

Then the three turned as the air behind them shimmered. They’d brought a fourth member. 

Luke was younger than Kylo had ever seen him. Blond hair untouched by grey, blue eyes unmarked by grief and smile untainted by regret. Luke braced his hands on his father’s and former mentor’s shoulders, grinning towards Kylo, Rey and his sister. 

The final words of the song tumbled from his mother’s voice, stumbling in shock as her brother appeared among them. Fresh tears repainted the old tracks down her cheeks. 

Luke stepped between the trio and wandered towards Leia. No-one spoke, though a quick glance at Poe and Finn found their mouths agape. His uncle smiled warmly at Leia, then took her hand. 

“There’s something I want to show you.” Was all he said. 

Then he reached out his other hand to the air. It took a moment, but eventually another ethereal blue hand slipped into his. It was an old hand, callused and wrinkled with age. But it was almost as familiar to Kylo as his own. 

The rest of the body materialised with the touch. Tall in stature, dressed in rugged clothing and holding himself with a swagger. He was still wearing the outfit from that fateful day, but the smirk on his mouth was one Kylo hadn’t seen in a long time. 

Leia raised a shaking hand to her mouth as she beheld the man before her, and her voice was barely more than a whisper, “Han.” 

“Hey, sweetheart.” 

His mother steeled herself before raising a hand to her husband. Unlike Luke, her fingers passed straight through Han’s form, but his father pressed his palm to hers and Kylo could almost feel the energy crackling from where he sat. 

If only Rey were awake to see this. 

Kylo threaded his fingers through Rey’s, and opened the bond to its fullest capacity. If her waking hours were too much to bear right now, let this be a dream for her to hold onto. “Father.” Kylo’s voice was hoarse, a badly patched wound in his chest reopening. 

Han turned to him. But instead of the hatred he expected, there was only compassion in his father’s eyes. “I see you’ve grown up.” 

Kylo huffed a laugh. What could he say? Apologise, beg for forgiveness? No, his father would never ask that of him. He had made his amends for that, paid for his crimes, only the dampened guilt that remained would serve as his reminder. 

“I’ve been watching, you know.” Han said, inclining his head towards Rey. “You two better tell stories about me to my grandkids.” 

Grandkids. By the Maker, they’d just barely escaped death and his father was talking about children. But Kylo could do nothing except chuckle. 

Han reached out a hand. Had it been corporeal, he’d have patted his son’s cheek. “I’m proud of you, Ben. Don’t forget that.” 

Then he disappeared. Along with Luke and the others. 

Kylo met his mother’s eyes. The grief still lingered, but now happiness swirled within them. It was strange to think that no-one was every truly gone. That they all became one with the Force. It gave Kylo hope, that one day he would see his uncle and his father again. That he might never have to lose Rey or his mother entirely. 

Leia mimicked his father’s gesture and patted his cheek. Then she stroked another strand of Rey’s hair back from her face, who gave a sigh of pleasure as she slept soundly against his chest. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I want to get this done by the end of November, so the end is nigh! Let me know what you thought :)


	39. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't believe how many people said they cried at the last chapter! The sadistic writer in me really likes that XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your love and support! 500 kudos!! That's amazing!

The flames were still burning long after the ceremony was over. But Rey hadn’t moved. She hadn’t said a word when she saw the body, when Leia had placed her brother’s old helmet on the pyre, when they’d asked her to lay his lightsaber in his hands. She’d been silent, even as the tears flowed and a hollow ache gnawed in her chest. 

In fact, she hadn’t been able to say anything, _feel_ anything since they returned. 

Two days. She’d woken in her old chambers alone, still fully dressed, the blood now dried on her tunic. The moment she glimpsed the red, she’d torn the shirt from her skin. 

Kylo had walked in. Their eyes had met. A single thought across the bond. Then Rey moved around him, slamming the bathroom door and scrubbing herself raw. 

When she re-emerged, he was gone, though a new set of clothes lay folded on the bed. These were like the ones she used to wear on Jakku, only they were dark grey in colour and heavier than was suitable for scavenging. 

Her lightsaber sat in the corner of the room, taunting her. She’d put up with it the first day, ignoring it as she sat staring out the window. The second day, she’d thrown it through that window. 

Kylo didn’t return. Nor did anyone else. Rey couldn’t decide whether she appreciated the space they were giving her. That was until the funeral, at least, where she stood apart from the gathered crowd. 

More than once, in the corner of her eye, she noticed Finn and Poe glancing at her. She ignored their concerned gazes, fingers digging into her arms. Only Kylo didn’t bother trying to catch her eye. He knew. He could feel it. Though every time that hollowness threatened to consume her, she felt a pulse down the bond, reminding her he was still there. 

Then they were gone, back inside the base to celebrate Luke with drink and chatter. She could hear it now. Feel the warmth leaking onto the cold landing strip as the evening gave way to night and she was left alone under the stars. 

“I should have listened to you.” She whispered. 

The air beside her shimmered blue and a ghostly figure stepped forward. Rey didn’t look at her grandfather as they both stared into the fire. 

“You told me this wasn’t the right path.” 

Obi-Wan nodded. “Perhaps. But you were always going to end up here.” 

His voice was gentle, though the words were sincere. She turned to him in surprise. “What do you mean?” 

“It was destiny, Rey.” Obi-Wan met her eyes, and they were full of sorrow. All that talk of destiny – this had been her destiny all along. He’d had to hide the truth from her, otherwise they’d never have made it here. “Neither of us has to like what fate provides us with. But it is our burden to bear. 

“It chose well, Rey. You and Ben. Master Yoda said as much when the two of you met.” How could he say that? As if none of this were her fault. “And I know you don’t believe me. I suppose I deserve that. But don’t take it from me. Take it from him.” 

Her grandfather nodded to the forest behind her. Confused, Rey turned. Only to have the breath knocked out of her. 

Standing between the trees, as wise and serene as he had ever been, was Luke. 

Rey’s legs were moving before she could tell them to, and she threw herself into her master’s arms. Luke chuckled in her ear as he set her down, though she refused to let go of him for several more minutes. 

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” 

Luke pushed her back, wiping a tear from her cheek. She wasn’t about to ask how he could touch her; all that mattered was that he could. 

“Rey, my dear one, you have nothing to be sorry for. Obi-Wan is right. This was destiny. This was meant to be.” She didn’t want to believe his words, but there was nothing but conviction in Luke’s expression. “You brought the Balance. And I am so proud of you.” 

The tears were coming thick and fast, but Rey managed to smile. It was all she’d ever wanted to hear from her master. 

“But I still did this.” 

Luke nodded solemnly. “Yes, but none of us are innocent, Rey. It is up to you whether you run from the guilt, or learn from it.” 

He was right. Either she could let it crush her slowly, as she had the loneliness for years… 

“Or you can let me go.” Luke finished the thought for her. “I want you to do that for me.” 

Rey shook her head vehemently, until Luke placed a withered hand on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. “This is how it’s meant to be.” He said again. “I want you to go back in there, live the life you always wanted. I will be but a memory,” Luke’s eyes softened. “And I will always be with you.” 

A flash of memory echoed in her mind. The lightsaber piercing his chest, the initial shock, then an ancient weight lifting from his shoulders. She’d seen a glimpse of it in his eyes. A flicker of the life she could have, if she listened now. 

Didn’t she deserve it? Hadn’t she given enough already? She remembered what Kylo said on Korriban. _We’re free._

They were free. Of threat, of darkness, of anything standing in the way of the life they both so desperately wanted. They were free of the past. Now she just had to decide how she would approach her future. 

“Go.” Luke said softly. “Be with him.” 

Rey embraced him again, fighting the urge to cry again. “Thank you.” 

Then she turned and hurried towards the base, where light and warmth were calling her. Where home was calling her. 

“Rey.” Luke called. He still stood, glowing ethereal blue on the edge of the forest. “My lightsaber. It has a rightful owner, you know.” 

For a moment, she thought of the saber now melted on his chest, before his meaning clicked into place. She nodded to him once as he disappeared.

**

All chatter ceased when she appeared in the doorway. 

Poe and Finn sat in the centre of the control room, the pilot’s arm slung around the other’s shoulders, drink in his other hand. Jessika was laughing at something one of the troopers said, as BB-8 was beeping jubilantly at Chewie. Leia sat quietly with Maz, a glass of whiskey in her hand. And Kylo… 

Kylo was nowhere to be seen. She scanned the room for his looming figure. When he didn’t appear from the shadows, she took a step into the chamber. 

And the room fell silent as they spotted her lingering. 

Anything she was about to say was lost to the aether as every stare trained on her, and she had to clasp her hands together to stop them from shaking. 

No, she was delusional. How could she think they would just accept her again? How could she think they would ever want to speak to her again after what she’d done? 

Rey retreated a step, about to turn and flee to her chambers, when her back hit something solid. Something warm and breathing. 

Two large hands appeared in front of her, holding two folds of black material. They clasped the fabric at her throat, then moved to rest on her shoulders. A voice rumbled in her ear, making her shiver. “You looked cold.” 

Rey spun in Kylo’s arms, craning her neck to meet his steady gaze. His eyes, the soft glow of firelight dancing in them, never moved from hers. And he never moved closer, waiting for her to make the next move. 

Rey fingered the material now wrapped around her fondly, sinking herself into its comfort. “I thought I’d lost it.” 

“It was still in your pack.” Kylo followed her hand down her cloak. “I would have given it back to you sooner, but I didn’t know if you wanted it.” 

She offered him a small smile, moving to rest her fingers against his scar. “I have everything I want.” 

Her lips met his slowly, tentatively. A brief kiss, but one that sealed their fate. One that said so much more than words ever could. 

As she pulled back, Rey became acutely aware of just how many pairs of eyes were watching them. But she didn’t take her own off Kylo as he took her hand and led her into the room. 

Poe was the first to acknowledge her. He untangled himself from Finn, hopping off the table they perched on, and approached. Rey faltered a step, unsure what he was going to do, but she needn’t have worried. The pilot shot her a wide grin and pulled her into a hug. 

With a squeeze, he said, “Nice to have you back.” 

Finn was next. He clasped her hand before embracing her. And one by one the others accepted her again. 

Leia was the last, after Chewie had nearly suffocated her in his coat. The general surveyed her, head to toe, then glanced at her son. “Hmm,” She considered with a wry smile. “I suppose you’ll do.” 

Rey couldn’t help but chuckle. Leia embraced her swiftly, tightly, then moved away so Kylo could take her place. 

He was still wearing the leather jacket from before – his father’s jacket, she’d noticed with no small amount of surprise. She buried her face in it now as his arms wrapped around her waist, breathing in the spice of him and the musk lingering on the material. 

They were free. They could be happy. For the first time in her life, Rey felt at peace. 

If only it had lasted more than thirty seconds. 

The unmistakeable engine growl of approaching ships filled the chamber, the rock overhead shaking and crumbling. Rey and Kylo shared a confused, panicked look. But Leia was already moving, purpose in her steps as she emerged outdoors. 

On the landing strip, a convoy of transporters sat, their boarding ramps open and Resistance soldiers pouring out, all pointing their blasters at Rey and Kylo’s chests. 

Leia positioned herself in front of them both, arms crossed and glowering, as the rest of their party ran into the open air. 

The boarding ramp of the largest vessel lowered with a hiss of machinery and three men in white robes sauntered out, followed hurriedly by a young woman in royal garb. Rey couldn’t hide her surprise at seeing the Queen of Naboo again, nor her contempt as Senator Thrax stopped in front of the general. 

“Princess, how pleasant it is to see you again.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, mouth twisting into a cruel smirk. 

“That’s general to you.” Poe snarled, starting forward. Finn shoved a hand against his shoulder and whispered something in his ear to get him to stop. 

“That’s right, keep your dog on a leash.” Thrax sneered. 

Rey felt Kylo tense beside her, mirroring the way her own fist begged to be shoved into the senator’s face. Her fingers flexed, itching for her lightsaber. But Kylo had left his inside, and hers… She had no idea where hers was now. 

No. She shoved down the anger, forcing herself calm. There was a rational way to deal with this. 

“What do you want, Thrax?” Leia demanded. 

“The last time I checked, _princess_ , your son was still a criminal. An escaped fugitive now.” Thrax quirked an eyebrow at Kylo before continuing. “Now it seems his little girlfriend has gotten herself into the same trouble. Not to mention you are all guilty of aiding his escape.” 

“Thrax,” Leia’s voice, to Rey’s surprise, was less livid, more exasperated. Tired even. “The senate is dead. You have practically no power anymore. Do you really think you can take on two highly trained, powerful Jedi, as well as the rest of us?” 

Thrax’s sure smile faltered for a second. Rey didn’t particularly want to fight, but she would if she had to. She would do anything to protect her family. It was the one thing she would always be willing to fight for. 

“I’ve just had to bury my brother. Now you’re telling me I’m to lose my son and daughter as well?” 

_Daughter._ The word knocked the breath from her lungs. Leia saw her as a _daughter._

_'If you would do me the honour, one day you will be.'_ Kylo murmured in her mind, and her heart stopped. Was he really asking her that? 

But though he could feel the emotion flooding through her, she said, _'Now is not the time.'_

Kylo chuckled softly, the sound reverberating through her veins. _'Rey Kenobi Solo. I like the sound of that.'_

Rey jabbed her elbow into his ribs, pulling herself back to the present. 

“It is the law, Organa. For someone so devoted to upholding justice, I thought you’d understand that.” 

“Perhaps it is the law here, senator,” Came another voice from behind them. They all spun to look at Maz as she shuffled to Leia’s side. “But what authority do you have on a planet exempt from your reach?” 

Thrax considered the little alien, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Rey had half a mind to tell him that Maz was not someone even the infamous, devil-may-care Han Solo wanted to mess with. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Takodana.” Maz said firmly. “My planet has never been under the senate’s jurisdiction, and so your laws do not apply there. If your two criminals were to disappear there, what authority would you have to convict them?” 

Thrax opened his mouth, only to close it again. None. He had no authority whatsoever. Maz was offering them a way out. 

The Queen of Naboo stepped forward then. Rey had always thought she had a kind face, but she couldn’t help but remember the last time she’d seen her. Talking of Kylo’s capture. 

“Senator Thrax,” She began, nodding slightly to Rey. “This may be the solution we’ve been looking for. One that satisfies all parties.” 

Thrax scowled at her. “No. They both deserve what’s coming to them.” 

The Queen of Naboo smiled sadly, a hand on Thrax’s shoulder. She shifted, just enough that Rey caught a glimpse of something silver in her hand. “Then I am sorry for this.” 

A shot rang out and Thrax’s body crumpled to the ground. Everyone stood, stock still, gaping at the queen who finally revealed the blaster in her hand. 

Without even a glance of remorse, the queen turned back to Leia. “Now, I believe we have reached an accord.” 

Her hand was outstretched, and though Leia’s expression was in complete and utter disbelief, she returned the queen’s gesture. 

The Queen of Naboo gestured to her guards to gather up Thrax’s corpse and they left quickly on the largest transporter. The Resistance fighters were gaping at the queen’s retreating form, then at the ones they’d betrayed. They were gone in moments. 

Maz whirled with a triumphant smile. “I hope that’s an acceptable arrangement.” 

Rey dropped to her knees in front of the little alien and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.” 

It took until morning for them to be ready. Rey had rushed back to her room and shoved everything she owned into her pack, including her lightsaber – which had magically appeared on her bed. She figured Kylo had gone looking when he noticed the broken window. 

Just as she was checking for the other saber, a knock sounded against her door. “Come in.” She called, thinking Kylo had come to see if she was prepared. 

But it wasn’t him. Instead, Finn stood awkwardly in the doorway, trying not to watch her packing. “You’re leaving, then.” 

“Yeah,” She smiled, breathless from rushing around her room, but Finn didn’t return the gesture. 

“You only just got back.” 

“I have to go. You heard them out there.” 

He nodded, though he pressed his lips together. Was he trying not to cry? 

Rey didn’t hesitate in wrapping her arms around him. She buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in the smoky scent of his clothes. Maker, she was going to miss him. 

When she pulled back, there were tears gathering in her own eyes and she had to wipe them away. “I’ll see you again. I promise.” She whispered, then collecting herself, “Where are you and Poe going anyway?” 

“I don’t know.” Finn huffed a laugh. “You know, I really didn’t think we’d get this far.” 

Perplexed, she asked, “What do you mean?” 

“I’ve never known any other life than war. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” 

Rey shrugged, gesturing to the air. “Go. See the galaxy.” She eyed him, smirked and said, “Have lots of fun.” 

Finn didn’t get chance to answer when another knock sounded. Poe poked his head through the door and grinned at them both. “We’re ready to go.” 

**

Kylo was waiting beside the _Falcon_ when Rey emerged. He was back in his black robes. Though she was surprised to see him wearing them, she had to admit he looked good. But as he grinned and moved forward to greet her, she glimpsed his father’s jacket poking out of his bag. 

“Let me see if I can guess the first thing we’ll be doing when we arrive.” Kylo quipped, taking her hand. For a second, she thought he was talking about something else. Something that made Finn choke beside her. Then he clarified, “Does it have something to do with Starfruit?” 

“I still have plenty of that stocked, don’t worry.” Maz called in passing. 

They both laughed, and Kylo slung his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in tight. Rey wrapped her own around his waist as they made their way to the boarding ramp. Chewie disembarked, a pile of his belongings bundled in his hands. Rey knew that the Wookiee wanted to come with them, that he would miss the _Falcon_ as much as he missed Han. But he had insisted on staying to help Leia sort out the mess the galaxy was left in. 

As Chewie set his things on the ground, Rey stopped to touch his arm. He embraced her quickly, with a growl wishing them luck, then he was gone. 

“He knows she’ll be in good hands, Chewie’s just not good at goodbyes.” Leia said as she wandered towards them. She wore the same blue dress she had when Rey had first left D’Qar to find Luke. Regal and powerful as ever. 

Rey broke from Kylo to hug the general. Leia patted her cheek as she let go and said, “I suppose there’s no use in saying I’ll see you soon. Who knows how long it will be until peace is restored?” 

She hoped it would be soon. Before she had a chance to answer, Leia looked past her to her son. Rey shifted, watching as the rebel princess and the ex-Knight of Ren joined hands. 

“I’m so proud of you, Ben.” Leia’s voice cracked, but she smiled. “Don’t get in too much trouble. I know Rey will keep an eye on you…” 

Kylo laughed, meeting Rey’s eyes with a mischievous smirk before Leia tugged his attention back to her. “But take care of yourselves. I love you, remember that.” 

“I love you too, mother.” 

Rey’s heart fractured a little hearing those words. This really was the start of a new life. A new beginning. 

They said their farewells to the others, BB-8 beeping sadly at her departure, though she assured him he would always be welcome on Takodana. She hugged Jessika, shook the hands of the ex-troopers who’d helped them, then faced Poe. 

“Shame we’re never going to see who’s the best pilot.” 

She laughed, hugging him firmly. “We don’t need to. Everyone knows it’s you.” 

“Actually, it’s me.” Kylo’s amused voice said behind her. 

Poe snorted. “You? I don’t think so.” 

“Who got us off Korriban?” Kylo crossed his arms, puffing out his chest, and Rey rolled her eyes. 

“Who blew up your base?” Poe countered. 

“Please, enough testosterone already.” 

Both men turned to her and burst out laughing. Then they clapped each other on the back and it was done. Rey never would have guessed the two of them would become friends. But she decided she liked it a lot more than when they hated each other. 

The interaction between Kylo and Finn had much less warmth. Kylo shook the trooper’s hand, which was as much as Rey could hope to get from either of them, but Finn grabbed his arm when he tried to pull away. He opened his mouth, probably to threaten Kylo, then he met her gaze and softened. “I hope you find happiness.” 

Rey could have cried. Instead, she embraced her best friend again. Twice. 

“Come on, while we still have daylight.” Maz was stood on the boarding ramp, hands on her hips. 

Kylo chuckled, threading his fingers through hers as he faced her. “Takodana?” 

She nodded. “Takodana.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nicer chapter ending than we've had for a while, I think haha. Just two more left! Let me know what you thought! :)


	40. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter! Rey and Ben on Takodana <3
> 
> WE ARE ONLY THIRTEEN DAYS AWAY FROM THE LAST JEDI, CAN YOU F'ING BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was getting this done by the end of November, but I'm only one day out XD

Takodana. She was going back to Takodana. To the place they’d first met. To the place where everything had gone to Hell, and somehow to paradise as well. 

The vast blue waters and lush green forests of Maz’s home appeared within a few hours. Rey sat in the cockpit of the _Falcon_ watching in awe, the same amazement flooding through her as the first time. And like then, there was a Solo in the seat beside her. 

Kylo had his arms crossed as he stared ahead, though everything about his posture and expression was calm. Relaxed. The signature tension that held his shoulders tight was gone. Kylo Ren was gone. And Ben Solo lived in his place. 

Rey watched him for a moment, taking in the angular jaw, the deep obsidian of his eyes, the soft planes of his face. This was the one she’d chosen. This was the path she’d chosen. She smiled at the thought. No matter how the past might haunt her, she couldn’t bring herself to regret that choice. 

Sighing contently to herself, she lifted her legs to rest them on his. Ben tugged them closer to him, hand resting on the sliver of bare skin between her cut-offs and her boots. They stayed like that as Maz silently guided the _Falcon_ to the ground. 

“I’m not expecting you two to live with me, you know.” The little alien finally said. 

Maz twisted in the pilot’s seat, a gentle smile on her face. Rey’s gaze met Ben’s, the same question in his eyes as in her mind. “But where else would we go?” 

Maz chuckled. “You have the whole planet. Take your pick.” 

_‘You like the castle, don’t you?’_ Ben smirked at her and she offered a small shrug. It was true. She loved the castle. She loved its towering spires, and the warm glow inside that reminded her of the base on D’Qar. 

Part of her had been worried the castle hadn’t been repaired since the First Order’s attack all those months ago. But it stood as proudly as it ever did across the lake as they landed. 

“I’m not sure how much you’d like living at the castle, with all the visitors that pass through there.” Maz said, as if she’d read her mind. “But, if you want to stay close, there’s an old house not far into the forest. It’s falling apart…” 

“It’s perfect!” Rey burst out, grinning from ear to ear. She’d always loved the idea of fixing up her own home. It was what kept her going all those years on Jakku – finding places for all the treasures she found buried in the sand. 

Ben pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh at her enthusiasm, but she could feel the curiosity in him. He liked the idea too. A house of their own, out in the woods, hidden and isolated. They could get up to anything out there. 

She bit back the comment, instead shifting a foot so her boot slipped under the edge of his outer robes. Ben met her gaze as she did, arching an eyebrow slightly. _‘I didn’t think you’d want to, after everything…’_

_‘I don’t want to live the rest of my life feeling guilty.’_ She whispered. _‘We’ve earned our freedom. It’s only right we make the most of it.’_

Ben tightened his fingers on her leg in response before turning back to Maz. “Thank you.” 

Maz was watching them with an amused smirk on her face. “Sometimes I’d like to know what you two are saying to each other down that bond of yours. Now is not one of those times.” 

Both of them burst out laughing as Maz got up and walked away. After a moment, she reappeared glaring, “Are you two coming then?” 

They were still laughing as they disembarked into the morning sunlight. Rey closed her eyes to it, letting its rays settle over her skin. A strange mix of brine and sweet fruit filled her senses, and she breathed in the beautiful scent. 

Ben slipped his hand into hers, twining their fingers together. She leant into him, listening to his heartbeat. It pulsed in time with hers, in time with the nature around them, as if the very ground sung the same song that played within them. 

They soon separated as a group of men with heavy blasters came rushing from the castle, heading straight for them. Rey’s fingers instinctively reached for the lightsaber in her pack, but Maz’s voice stopped her. 

“You two,” She shouted, pointing at the largest of the men. “Get this stuff inside. The rest of you find my stores of Starfruit.” 

The men nodded and got to work. With anyone else, Rey would have been surprised at their willingness to obey. But this was Maz, and she scared just about everybody. 

Once the men had disappeared, Maz gestured for the two of them to follow her into the castle. “I need a drink.” 

Rey looped her arm through Ben’s as they followed her, tracing the same steps she’d taken once before. The closer they got, the more of the castle Rey discovered was still in disarray. There were a few holes in the stone yet to be patched up, and there was rubble remaining on the ground. But for the most part, it looked as good as new. 

The inside was mostly the same. The large fire pit still sat in the centre, tables occupied by all species in various attire lined the edges. Rey spied a Twi’lek in formal robes by the bar, chatting with a Nikto in a leather jacket similar to the one in Ben’s bag. 

Rey had thought she was used to seeing so many different walks of life wandering around Niima Outpost. At least she had until she was welcomed into Maz’s home and saw her first Togruta, or a Toydarian playing a chance cube with a Mon Calamari. 

No-one took notice of them as Maz lead them to an empty table in the back and called for the bartender to bring them three whiskeys. She took hers and downed it in one gulp, arching a brow at them when neither of them touched the alcohol. 

“What possessed you to wear those again?” Maz asked, narrowing her eyes at Ben. 

He glanced down at his black robes and shrugged. “They wouldn’t fit in my bag.” 

Rey huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes and finally taking a sip of the whiskey, but Maz pressed on, “But why did you bring them?” 

“Because I want to burn them.” 

Rey almost choked on her drink. “You didn’t tell me that before.” 

“It’s not a problem, is it?” 

“No! No, of course not. If that’s what you want.” She didn’t add that she still thought he looked good in them. But she reasoned he looked just as striking in the jacket, if not more so. 

Rey eyed him for a moment, considering. Eventually, she reached for her pack. Now was as good a time as any. 

“When Luke…” She took a deep breath as she said his name, though she smiled as her fingers clasped around the cold metal. “When he came to me after the funeral, he told me something.” 

Rey dug the lightsaber out of her pack. The lightsaber that was no longer calling to her, but pulling itself towards Ben. His eyes widened at the sight of it, and wider as she held it out to him. 

“He said that this had a rightful owner.” 

Ben opened his mouth. Closed it again. Tentatively, he reached out, curling his fingers around the cold metal. He tested the weight of it, the lightness of it compared to his own saber. What would he do with that one now, she wondered? 

With a flick of his wrist, the saber was lit, casting blue light over his face. Some of the patrons turned at the sound of its humming, but they soon went back to their conversations. In his eyes, she saw a boyish glee, as if he were a child again and Luke had given him the saber for a training exercise. The hilt fit perfectly into his hand, the colour suiting him more than the red ever could. 

“Well?” She asked around the grin marring her mouth. She couldn’t help but enjoy the wonder on his face as he played with the saber. 

Finally, he met her eye. “Thank you.” 

Maz was watching them over the rim of her glass. “What will you do with that one?” She asked, gesturing to the cross-guard. 

Ben pulled his cross-guard saber from his belt, examining it. It would be difficult for him to let go of, she knew. It had been his constant companion for years. Perhaps he would keep it, rather than do away with what she had to admit was a perfectly good weapon. 

“I don’t know.” He admitted quietly, grasp on it tightening. 

Rey considered for a moment before holding her hand out for the saber. He handed it over without question, though he gave her a puzzled glance when she asked for the other one. 

She set the cross-guard on the table, hoping what she was about to do would work. Rey closed her eyes and stretched out her fingers. Energy flowed through her arm, her fingers, humming through the air as it wrapped around the saber. She pictured the cracked Kyber crystal residing in the heart of the saber dislodging itself from its casing and pulling out. 

And sure enough, when she opened her eyes, the crystal and the saber sat separate from each other. Smiling to herself, she glanced at Ben, who finally seemed to understand what she was trying to do. 

Then, she took the blue lightsaber and did the same. Its cobalt crystal floated in the air, and with a twist of her hand, the cross-guard rose up to meet it. 

When it was done, Ben plucked his lightsaber from the air and turned it on. Now it blazed sky-blue instead of fiery red. 

The pull from the old hilt was gone, and Rey realised with no small amount of surprise that the call she’d felt hadn’t been from the saber itself, but the Kyber crystal within. Like the Force that pulsed inside them twined with its owner. 

Curious, she reached out with her mind and found the slight tug connecting her to her own staff-saber. 

Rey stuffed the old case in her pack. Maybe they’d find another crystal for it. Maybe they’d find another who could wield it one day, though she had the feeling the last of the Jedi would die with them. 

At the thought, a strange feeling gnawed in her gut. She put it down to hunger and grabbed a piece of Starfruit from the bowl in the middle of the table. When she looked up, Maz was watching her, her eyebrows furrowed. 

The alien shook it off and said, “We should get going.”

**

The house was about an hour away from her castle, deep into the folds of the trees. Rey walked the whole way with her hand tucked into the crook of Ben’s elbow – though that was partly to keep her from tripping on rocks and tree roots. 

Maz was talking, more to herself than to them, about how the house had gotten into disarray. She wasn’t listening to the majority of it, but she caught details on how after its first occupants had left, Maz had rented it to Imperial refugees. Then after the Galactic Concordance was signed, it was left unused for years. 

As she surveyed their surroundings, Rey’s attention caught on one particular spot. She tugged Ben to a stop, staring at the small pass between two rock walls. She remembered the roughness of that stone against her fingers, the fear pulsing through her, and the instant string she felt tie itself within her to the masked man who appeared ahead. 

“Whoever knew.” Ben whispered in her ear, his deep voice making her shiver. 

She squeezed his arm, biting her lip and turning back to where Maz was waiting for them atop a boulder. 

Eventually they reached a small clearing. In its centre, a wooden cabin stood, its roof half fallen in and the windows either dusty or completely without glass. She couldn’t see much of the inside, only that it was dark and seemed like it had stayed that way for a long time. Maz tested the first step onto the porch with a foot. It creaked but didn’t break and she continued. 

They shared a hopeful glance before following the alien inside. It wasn’t any better on the interior, but as Rey took in the old-fashioned hearth, the iron lanterns and the little family of birds that had nested in the eves, her heart fell for it as wholly as it had for Ben. 

Maz stoked the fire as they looked around. Ben ran his fingers over the table, drawing symbols in the dust. Rey’s first port of call was the bedroom. There were two, the larger of which was still in good condition, with a refresher off to one side. The four-poster bed would need cleaning and the sheets replacing but it looked comfortable enough, and Rey was pleased to find hot running water when she turned the shower on. 

The smaller bedroom was a lot messier, but she suspected that was because a child had used to live in it. There were old toys stuffed under the bed and drawings hung on the walls. Rey couldn’t help but smile at the attempt at drawing the _Falcon_ – whoever it was had obviously met Han at some point. 

“What do you think?” 

Rey emerged from the smaller bedroom to find Ben looking at her expectantly. She made a point of putting her pack on the table, though she asked, “What do _you_ think?” 

He considered for a moment, and she saw in his mind all the things he found wrong with it. But when his attention returned, she caught a glimpse of them fixing it up together and he smiled. “I like it.” 

She grinned and threw her arms around him. He caught her with a surprised yelp before spinning her. When he set her down, Rey leaned up to kiss him. Briefly, given that Maz was still standing there. 

“I’ll leave you two alone for now.” The little alien winked at Rey as she left. “I’ll send my boys with supplies up in a couple of hours. At least you’ll have a clean bed to sleep on.” 

The moment Maz disappeared, Ben purred in her ear, “I’m not sure how much sleep we’ll be getting.” 

Rey chuckled, pushing him away with the tips of her fingers. “We have work to do.”

**

It took them until dusk to get the house clean. Rey had relocated the family of birds into a nearby tree, which took her until Maz’s men arrived. She’d never known birds to be so stubborn. 

It was easier with the help, even easier when she could have a brush clearing the dust in the kitchen while she herself was working on the windows. As she scrubbed at the grime, she found herself humming a beautiful melody she’d only heard in a dream. Ben stopped short when he heard the harmony, smiling to himself, though he said nothing of it. 

Rey didn’t mind the work, but by the time they were done, she was glad it was over. The house still needed work. The roof, for example. But one of the guys offered to help with that – an offer they’d willingly accepted. 

As she bid them good evening and they disappeared into the forest, Ben wrapped his arms around her waist. He nuzzled into her neck, making her sigh, and pressed a kiss to her collarbone. “So, how shall we christen this place?” 

“Hmm,” Her eyes fluttered closed as he nipped at her skin. “I remember mention of a shower.” 

His lips stilled against her and when she turned, his pupils were blown wide. She brushed a strand of hair back from his stunned face. “Don’t you remember?” 

The morning after their night on Arkanis flashed across the bond. Ben smirked, eyes drifting to her mouth. “Of course I do.” 

His lips collided with hers, the kiss hard and unyielding. Too long. Too long they’d been away from each other. It had been mere weeks, and yet it felt like centuries. Rey opened her mouth to him as she wrapped her fingers in his hair, claiming him. 

It was mere moments before he was dragging her into the house and she was forcing his tunic over his head. His hands ran down her sides, grazing her thighs in a touch that sent heat searing through her and she gasped as he lifted her into his arms, turned and pinned her against the wall. 

His kisses moved to her neck, tracing the spot he knew made her breath catch. She pulled off her wrap and shirt, nearly tearing them in her haste. Nothing was slow this time. Nothing was gentle. They kissed each other, clawed at each other in such desperation that Rey was sure the power rippling from both of them would have the house crashing down around them. 

Ben dragged her cut-offs down her legs, following them with his fingers. When there was nothing between them but skin, he paused. Rey tugged his bottom lip with her teeth, knowing exactly what he was thinking. 

He lifted her again, her legs wrapping around his middle. He claimed her mouth again as he carried her through the bedroom and into the shower. She ended up pressed against the cold tiles, his heaving chest crushed against hers. 

Rey shot him a wicked grin as she reached up. A flood of hot water cascaded over them, filling the room with steam, concealing them from the world. Their lips met, teasing, tantalising and they both groaned as he slid into her. 

“Kriff.” Ben muttered against her mouth as he began to move. Slow and deliberate at first, thrusts that had her moaning into his ear, then harder as she shifted her hips against his, pulling herself up to meet his every movement. 

She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of this. Why would she? How could she get tired of something so wonderful? 

If the bond had been a star before, now it was a blazing sun, setting the room alight. She felt it all coursing through her. The lightning beneath her fingertips that crackled between them – energy of their own. The want, the need, the _love_. 

“I love you.” Her voice shook as she neared that cliff. As did her hands as she set them on either side of his face. 

Ben met her gaze, then leant up to catch her mouth in a final kiss before the thrust of his hips sent them over. _‘More than anything.’_

They were both breathless as they let go, but they stayed entwined in each other’s arms. Right where they wanted to be. Right where they needed to be. 

**

They christened the shower again that night. Then the bed. And again, the following night. In fact, for the next week after those helping them rebuild the house had left, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. 

When Rey woke a week and a half after they arrived, the house finally back in one piece, she heard a strange patter on the roof. Confused, she listened harder. The patter was relentless. 

She twisted under Ben’s arm to see if he heard it too, but he was still asleep. So, she slipped out of bed and padded barefoot into the living area. The noise was louder here, tapping against the windows like fingernails. But there were no sinister creatures outside beckoning to her. 

No, instead there was water running down the glass. Rain. Actual _rain_. 

She didn’t even care that she was wearing nothing but Ben’s tunic, which barely brushed her mid-thigh, as she ran out into it. Rey lifted her face to the sky, the fat water droplets crashing against her skin. The rain was warm, yet it chilled her as it seeped into her clothes. 

Her hair hung limp within minutes and she was shivering in the thin material of his shirt, but she stayed outside, enjoying the damp earth beneath her toes. She twirled around and around, throwing her arms out to catch as much as possible. 

Rain had been few and far between on Ahch-To and it had been _freezing_. Other places she’d visited, she’d only seen the torrent of water from inside. And on Jakku, it had been non-existent. 

There was something so full of life about the rain. Not like the blistering heat, that dried up your insides as fast as it scorched the land around you. No, water was soft, healing, a promise of new beginnings. 

A soft chuckle sounded behind her and she slid to a stop, mud slathering across her feet and ankles. Ben stood, leaning against the doorway in just his trousers and watching her with a half-amused, half-incredulous expression. 

“You’re getting my shirt wet.” He called over the pounding of the rain. 

Rey didn’t reply. Instead she bit her lip and held out her hands to him. 

Unlike on Coruscant, when he’d resisted her offer at first, Ben rolled his eyes and ran into the rain to meet her. He took her shivering hands in his warm ones and pulled her close. One arm slid around her waist, the other coiled around her fingers as he started to sway. 

They danced to music of their own – the beat of the rain, and the tune playing in their memory from Coruscant. Ben spun her round, laughing as she sprayed mud on them both. They danced until the rain stopped, until they were out of breath and all they could do was turn in circles, still wrapped in each other’s arms. 

Rey had her head leant against his chest, breathing in the scent of him. The scent of home. Ben had his cheek resting against her hair, but they both lifted their gazes as the sun broke over the horizon. 

Ben cleared his throat. “There’s something I want to ask you.” 

“Hmm?” 

He pulled away slightly, forcing her to look at him. “I’ve never told you this before, but… when I first saw you, I had never been more terrified in my life. I felt a connection with you that I’d never felt before. Back then, I just wanted rid of it. 

“But when you picked up that lightsaber…” He smiled, the same awe filling his eyes as she’d seen that night in the snow. As if he couldn’t quite believe she was real. “I knew you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And maybe I didn’t quite know it then, but I loved you. 

“I loved you for how brave you were. How strong, like I could never be.” Ben lifted a hand to brush the tears that slipped from her eyes. “I think I loved you right from the start.” 

Rey had to swallow a sob before she could speak. “You are strong, Ben. Stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. And once I saw you…” The rest of the sentence drifted into air. He knew. He saw everything in her mind, all the emotions she could never put into words. 

She lay her own fingers on his face, ghosting over his scar. Even she wasn’t certain when it had happened. Had it been when he saved her? On Naboo, or from Snoke? Or when he’d shown her his scars, both outside and in? 

“I know I said this in jest on D’Qar, but I meant it.” Ben untangled himself from her, and for a second, she ached from the loss. At least she did until he sank to one knee and pulled out a small silver ring. “Rey Kenobi, will you marry me?” 

All breath in Rey’s lungs whooshed out. The ring – it was so beautiful, so ornate that she had to ask, her voice barely audible, “Where did you get that?” 

Ben smirked. “I bought it on Coruscant.” 

She choked back a gasp. Coruscant. But they’d barely… Had he known all that time ago? Would he have asked her if they hadn’t been separated? Would she have said yes? 

The answer was the same one she gave him now. 

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I nearly cried writing that last part!
> 
> Let me know what you thought! :)


	41. Epilogue: Across the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... 
> 
> I can't believe this is the end, the happily ever after!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you amazing people for the kudos, the comments and for just reading and enjoying this little project of mine. I love you all so much! My Reylo family!

**Two Years Later**

They’d wanted to wait until everyone could attend. Leia had been on the Core worlds for two years trying to re-establish some sense of order. They’d heard snippets of it from passing travellers, though she’d told them the whole story when she finally returned. 

She’d arrived on Coruscant to find the Queen of Naboo, the two remaining senators and a group of politicians she remembered from her days in the New Republic. They’d all offered their services in an attempt to get the Senate up and running again. But Leia had refused. 

The general argued the old ways just didn’t work. And it would be a long time before they found something that did. But she proposed that, for now, each planet have its own governing body that would interact with other worlds to create peaceful relations across the galaxy. 

It hadn’t gone so well at first. The Core worlds had readily agreed, but many Mid-Rim and Outer planets still had First Order and even Imperial supporters. There were battles, all of which Leia told like she was telling them a bedtime story. 

Eventually her opponents realised they had no support left. Slowly but surely, each one came around to the idea, though some Leia claimed she was still working on. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. You two have been so patient.” Leia smiled in the reflection of the mirror as she fitted the hairpiece. 

“It’s alright.” Rey returned the smile, though she struggled to take her eyes off the white silk falling from her shoulders and pooling around her feet. The dress was overlaid with gossamer that made her sparkle in the light, setting off the ring on her finger and the happiness in her eyes. 

Jessika had insisted on a little makeup for her wedding day, which after the tenth time of her muttering, “It’ll look better with makeup”, Rey had finally given in and let her brush her lips and eyelids with a soft pink. 

Leia had given her the hairpiece. A simple and elegant twist of metal that knotted part of her hair back, leaving the rest to flow free. 

The general was now wearing a modest grey dress, her own hair piled atop her head. It would have been demure if not for the gold jewellery peeking out from beneath the collar and the sleeves. 

A knock came at the door, and Rey panicked for a moment thinking Ben had come to check on her. But it was Poe’s head that popped in the room instead. 

His eyes settled on her and widened. “Wow.” He breathed, then cleared his throat, a huge grin on his mouth. “You look stunning.” 

Rey couldn’t help the blush that flared in her cheeks. She didn’t want to say it aloud, but looking in the mirror, for the first time in her life, she felt stunning. 

“Thank you.” 

Poe straightened his jacket, giving Leia a mock salute as she waved him out the way. He and Finn had both spent the past two years with Leia, planet hopping and exploring when they weren’t working. When they’d arrived with the general a week earlier, Rey had practically thrown herself into their arms. 

Poe offered her an arm. “Are you ready?” 

Her heart skipped. The time had come. Anticipation rattled through her body, making Poe grasp her hand tightly as she took his elbow. 

It had been a fight between him and Finn who would walk her down the aisle. Rey had let them get on with it, knowing she would be happy with either of them, but Jessika had gotten so sick of listening to them bicker that she challenged them to a game of Dejarik. Whoever won got to do it. 

To almost everyone’s surprise, Finn had won. And he now stood waiting for her in front of the closed gilded doors that would lead them onto the terrace. 

Poe handed her over with a kiss on the cheek and a wish of good luck before he stumbled off to join the others. Finn took both of her hands and sighed. “Look at you.” 

Rey chuckled. “You don’t scrub up too bad yourself.” 

“I’m so happy for you, Rey.” 

“Thank you, Finn.” She whispered. Finn still wasn’t overly fond of Ben. It was evident in the way he went stiff whenever he drew near. But Rey suspected Leia had told him stories of when Ben was a child, because after he’d finished hugging Rey when they arrived, he’d pulled the other man into a congratulatory embrace. 

Rey wrapped her fingers around Finn’s elbow, took a deep breath and stepped through the doors. Sunlight poured onto the terrace, glittering across the lake and shining through the petals of flowers hanging from the eves. It had been Ben’s idea to have their wedding on Naboo, in the exact place his grandparents got married. She’d been sceptical at first, but once she saw how beautiful this place was, she hadn’t been able to refuse. 

Leia stood with Poe, Chewie and the others to the right, Luke with Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda to the left. And in the centre… 

Rey sucked in a breath as she took in the dark hair, tidy for the first time in two years, the wide dark eyes as his gaze raked over her dress, the grey robes, the leather jacket. 

“Ben.” The name was barely more than a breath, but he smirked as if he’d heard it. 

_‘Hello, sweetheart.’_ He purred into her mind. 

Rey blushed even redder, smile growing wider, heart pounding harder. Finn paused as they reached Ben, brought up her hand to kiss it then winked as he retreated to Poe’s side. 

Ben slipped his fingers into hers, warm energy crackling between them as he said, “You look beautiful.” 

Biting her lip, Rey brushed a hand over the grey robes. He’d taken to wearing just his tunic and the jacket. These were new. 

“I like this.” She whispered. 

Ben caught the hand and brought it to his mouth. His lips were soft and warm, making her tingle. “Are you ready?” 

“Always.”

**

Months passed since then. They’d spent the whole night dancing and drinking, and enjoying themselves in other ways once the others were gone. Then to Coruscant, where Ben gave her the tour he meant to give her two years ago. And where Leia showed them the memorial they’d built for Luke and Han. 

Now on Takodana, in the little house all to themselves. Rey woke as she did every morning: her back to Ben’s chest, his arm wrapped around her waist and his face buried in her neck. She woke and her eyes fell on the two rings on her left hand, smiling as she always did, reminding herself it was all real and not the nightmares that still plagued her. 

She always got up at least an hour before Ben did. A habit she still retained from Jakku, but she didn’t mind. It meant she got to watch the sunrise. 

Slipping out of bed, she padded outside. Winter was coming. The ground was already starting to frost. It wouldn’t be long until it was covered in snow. 

Although she did this every morning, something felt different. Like there was something calling to her at the edge of her conscious. She turned in a slow circle, searching for the source but found nothing. 

Until she blinked. The boundaries of her vision went blurry, the early dawn darkening to twilight. A single flickered inside the house. 

Through the window, she watched a lantern flame dance in its cage. Nothing else happened for a moment. She stood, waiting, growing more and more nervous. Then a tall figure appeared. 

He looked older than he had not five minutes ago. But that wasn’t the biggest thing out of place. Ben stooped down, and straightened again with a young girl in his arms. 

She seemed no more than five years old, with ebony hair and hazel eyes. It was the full mouth and petite features that gave it away. 

That was his full mouth, his ebony hair. Those were her petite features, her hazel eyes. Their daughter. 

Then Ben put the girl down, and she disappeared from view. He lifted another child, setting him on the table and taking what appeared to be a model X-Wing from its chubby hand. This time it was a boy, seemingly the same age as the girl, only he had lighter hair. Their son. 

Rey stood, hand over her mouth, unblinking. She only moved when the girl returned, her hand clasped by another and Rey saw herself appear through the window. Her older self embraced Ben before swooping their daughter into her arms. 

She found she already knew their names. 

_Kira._ A name their daughter could carry without the pain and loneliness. 

_Lucas._ And one their son could wear in honour and remembrance. 

Her children. Her twins. 

Her older self turned her gaze out the window, as if she saw her standing there. She smiled before fading away. 

The sunrise returned to bathe the ground in its light. But Rey wasn’t watching it this morning. Instead she was staring down at her belly, feeling the thread of the Force stirring within. 

Unable to contain herself any longer, Rey ran back inside and practically jumped onto Ben’s sleeping form. 

He woke with a start. “What is it? What’s wrong?” 

She laughed. “Nothing.” 

“Then what are you waking me up for?” He grumbled, burrowing back into his pillow. 

She dragged him up again. “I think you and I are going to be getting a lot less sleep for a while.” 

Confused, Ben frowned at her. She was grinning too hard to tell him, so she took his hand and placed it on her belly, where she knew he could feel the presence lingering. His frown soon widened into shock. 

“Dream?” His voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was so full of hope. 

She shook her head, taking his face gently in her hands. “Perfectly real.” 

The sun broke through the window, bathing them in its light as they kissed. A new day. A new start. 

A new life. 

 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... That's it.  
> Thank you again for your wonderful-ness this past year and a bit. You're all amazing!  
> I don't know if I'll write another fanfiction for a while, if ever in fact. But I've had the time of my life with Playing With Fire writing my own version of what I know will be the most incredible canon Reylo story, and it will always stay in my heart. I'm going to miss you all! <3 <3


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